A Life That Works

Happy people are all alike; every unhappy person is unhappy in his own way.

Happy people enjoy ways of living that:

* are conducive to serenity and tranquility, seeing people in their proper genre so they don’t disappoint you, accepting circumstances for what they are…
* provide an accurate sense of your own importance
* have over-arching purpose greater than yourself
* get along with others. We all depend upon the tolerance of those we live and work around, so if they gang up on us, we’re finished
* give energy and passion that lifts you beyond pleasure-seeking
* is filled with integrity, meaning the different parts of your life work together to create a unified whole. Usually this is accompanied by an attitude of everyone knows everything so there’s no point to trying to get away with things.
* allows you to enjoy solitude
* helps you avoid needless conflicts
* encourages flexibility and adaptability, so that when a pandemic hits, you plunge into things you haven’t had time for previously, so when one door closes, you look for the door that’s opening
* tracks their time, earning and spending
* are open to learning from others
* are free from compulsions to prove things to others
* avoid exertion/exhaustion
* allow one to feel at ease with oneself, others and the universe
* “The more disciplined your environment is, the less disciplined you need to be. Don’t swim upstream.” (James Clear)
* Here are more thoughts from James Clear:

Most people need consistency more than they need intensity.

-run a marathon
-write a book in 30 days
-silent meditation retreat

-don’t miss a workout for 2 years
-write every week
-daily silence

Intensity makes a good story. Consistency makes progress.

* Real wealth is not about money.

Real wealth is:
-not having to go to meetings
-not having to spend time with jerks
-not being locked into status games
-not feeling like you have to say “yes”
-not worrying about others claiming your time and energy

Real wealth is about freedom.

* The ultimate productivity hack is saying no.

* How to Be Unhappy:

-stay inside all day
-move as little as possible
-spend more than you earn
-take yourself (and life) too seriously
-look for reasons why things won’t work
-always consume, never contribute
-resent the lucky and successful
-never say hello first
-be unreliable

* Invert for happiness:

-get outside each day
-move: walk, exercise, dance
-spend less than you earn
-view life as play
-be the one who looks for solutions
-develop a bias to contribute and create
-learn from the lucky and successful
-be the first to say hello
-be reliable

* Your 1st blog post will be bad, but your 1000th will be great.

Your 1st workout will be weak, but your 1000th will be strong.

Your 1st meditation will be scattered, but your 1000th will be focused.

Put in your reps.

* Read books that are relevant to what you want to achieve and reading will never seem boring.

* You elicit from the world what you put into it.

Want to attract reliable people? Be reliable.

Want to attract trustworthy people? Be trustworthy.

Want to attract welcoming people? Be welcoming.

Want to attract exceptional people? Be exceptional.

* The easy way is often the hard way.

Shortcuts, one-sided deals, and selfish behavior create debts. You only look like a winner until the bill comes due. Short-term actions become long-term frustrations.

In hindsight, the hard way only seems hard in the moment.

* When the world doesn’t make sense, it is a signal that you need to learn.

* Characteristics of secure attachment: “Secure attachment is an adult attachment style that is characterized by a positive view of the self, others, and relationships. An adult attachment style is the way in which adults in a romantic relationship relate to each other. They usually come from positive, supportive childhood backgrounds. They are able to reflect on their childhood experiences, both good and bad. Adults with secure attachments are comfortable with being intimate with other people and enjoy intimate relationships. They are secure both with themselves and in their relationships. The relationships of individuals who are securely attached tend to be warm, trusting, and last for a long time. The partners are aware of themselves and what they are feeling. Individuals with secure attachment have low anxiety and do not avoid getting close to others. Securely attached adults have positive self-worth and believe that they are worthy of being loved. They also are accepting and responsive to others.”

Secure people shy away from those who needlessly hurt them. They don’t return for more abuse.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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