What are the biggest differences between public Luke and private Luke? Public Luke takes more care to not offend needlessly and to be judicious with his words and deeds. Private Luke usually hates drama, Public Luke often enjoys stirring. Private Luke knows how just under the surface are his strong passions for recognition and for lust. Private Luke and Public Luke both love to provoke, but Private Luke is less constrained in how he does it as the stakes are lower with interpersonal relations as opposed to Youtube relations. Public Luke tries to keep a handle on his passions. The interests of Private Luke and Public Luke are the same. The books and articles I read privately I discuss publicly on my show and blog. I don’t do anything privately that would shock those acquainted with Public Luke. Public Luke, by definition, is often the center of attention, while Private Luke usually is not. Private Luke says a lot of things for shock value and for exploration while Public Luke tamps that down. Private Luke does not think as much before he speaks, does not keep himself as much in check, feels more free to react viscerally and primally.
Private Luke will express his irritation more readily than Public Luke, though if you’ve watched my show and seen what annoys me, you get a pretty good handle on Private Luke.
I feel that there is less distance between Private Luke and Public Luke than ever before. Neither Public Luke nor Private Luke lie (deliberately say things that he knows are not true). I can do 20 hours a week of Youtube broadcasting because I am at ease with myself, others and the universe. I am not hiding anything and I don’t see the outside world as the enemy to be debunked.
Private Luke and Public Luke are equally affected by others. Different company brings out different sides of Luke. Luke easily adapts to changing company and environments, perhaps that is the result of growing up in foster care.
Private Luke is more sensitive than Public Luke.
Private Luke feels that he should be the subject of great movies and PhD dissertations, but then fears that would not be good for him.
Luke wants interaction on his terms. Luke hates conflict and negotiation, preferring to settle things according to the dominance hierarchy.
Public Luke no longer puts on airs that Private Luke finds tiring. Private Luke does not do things that fill Public Luke with fear and Public Luke does not do things that fill Private Luke with fear.
Public Luke tries to avoid offending proprieties that Private Luke could care less about.
Luke has weighed between 172 and 174 pounds since the pandemic. He weighs himself every morning and is not happy to be over 170. When his weight goes to 174, he gets frustrated. He does not want to enter another 12-step program. He wants to take care of this on his own. So far, he’s failing. Luke rides his stationary bike about 5 miles a day, about four to five days a week. He eats three solid meals a day.
Most days Luke feels solid about everything he did that day. Sure, there’s always room for improvement, but he rarely gets shame attacks. It’s a beautiful thing to feel proud of your day, when the spiritual and religious and work and play parts of your life all flow together.