Women tell us they want us to compliment them.
Your mom told you to be nice to girls, right?
And we guys like to really "turn up" the compliments when we LIKE a woman…
But here’s the question:
Do compliments create ATTRACTION when you first meet a woman?
Most of the time the answer is NO.
I have a word for guys who like to give women lots of compliments when they first meet her.
That word is WUSSY.
Recently, I got an email from a woman about this very topic that I thought would be the perfect way to introduce this and explain WHY compliments are not the way to build attraction…
***QUESTION FROM A READER***
I agree that your "funny/cocky" routine works very well and women are attracted to it. Yet, I have to disagree with you on one aspect, women LOVE to be complimented. They live for it. Why else, but to get men’s attention and be complimented, do they spend hours getting ready, and buy all that sexy clothing? Sure, their faces light up when you make them laugh or they really have fun. But, how many times have you seen that special girl smile at you and kiss you like there’s no tomorrow when you tell her she’s the most incredible thing in the world and that she’s so beautiful you just can’t stop loving her? Probably never, because you think that’s a "wuss" thing to do. But, you don’t know how wrong you are.
J.
-IL
>>>MY COMMENTS
I love that women are out there reading and thinking about my material (especially the Cocky & Funny comment). Good stuff.
I’m going to break down the things you’re talking about into a few specific topics, then address them individually.
Here are the three that I’d like to address:
1) The idea that women LOVE to be complimented.
2) The idea that women spend all of their time and energy getting ready and fixing themselves up because they want compliments.
3) The difference between complimenting a "special" girl and complimenting just ANY girl.
Here are a few things to keep in mind as you read my commentary on this letter and these different topics:
A) We humans (and I’m talking about women in particular here) don’t always REALIZE what we REALLY want.
B) We humans don’t like to admit what’s REALLY going on inside of us, because it can be irrational and illogical.
C) It’s very important to realize that there is a CRITICAL difference between a girl you’ve just met or have dated a few times and a SPECIAL girl in your life.
So, let’s talk about the topics individually…
THE IDEA THAT WOMEN LOVE TO BE COMPLIMENTED
Do women love to be complimented?
I think so.
In fact, I think that many really ATTRACTIVE women FEED off of attention and compliments. The more attention and compliments they get, the better and more powerful they feel. It’s an ego boost.
BUT… and it’s a BUTTTTT bigger than J-Lo’s, this doesn’t mean that a woman will feel ATTRACTED to you if you give her compliments.
Attractive women get compliments in various forms all the time. In fact, they’re so used to getting compliments, that’s what they EXPECT.
As a matter of fact, if you start talking to an attractive woman and say, "Wow, you’re really beautiful. I mean, you’re like a goddess… are you a model or an actress?" etc., the most LIKELY response you’re going to get is her giving you the cold shoulder.
Why?
Because SHE GOT WHAT SHE NEEDED FROM YOU and you showed her that you’re JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER guy out there that will worship her for her physical beauty.
As a general rule, you ALWAYS want to avoid being mentally slotted into the "average" and "like all the other guys" category at ALL COST.
I have started conversations by giving a woman a compliment, but I NEVER let it become part of the actual conversation. If anything, I begin teasing and making fun of her looks as soon as possible, if she’s REALLY hot-looking. And I never give the compliment in a way that says, "I’m intimidated because you’re obviously very powerful and desirable."
