I often make this happiness mistake and let go of my obligations for a few hours or days because I think I deserve a break. I become even more slovenly than normal.
When you’re feeling blue or overwhelmed, it’s tempting to try to pick yourself up by indulging in a guilty pleasure, but unfortunately, the pleasure lasts a minute, and then feelings of guilt, loss of control, and other negative consequences just deepen the blues.
So when you find yourself thinking, “I’ll feel better after I have a few glasses of wine … some ice cream … just one cigarette … a new pair of jeans,” ask yourself—will it really make you feel better? Or is it likely to make you feel worse, in the long run?
For example, I realized that one of my personal “treats” is the decision not to pick up after myself. Instead of trying to tidy as I go, as I usually do, I let small tasks mount up. “I can’t possibly be expected to hang up my coat, or put the newspapers in the recycling bin, or unload the dishwasher,” I tell myself. “I’m too busy/too frazzled/too upset/too rushed. I deserve a break.”
The problem is that, in the end, the mess makes me feel worse. Maybe I enjoy a tiny buzz from flinging my coat onto the floor, but the disorder just makes my bad mood deepen. (Plus it’s not nice for anyone else, either.) On the other hand, serene, orderly surroundings make me feel better. Outer order contributes to inner calm.
The Los Angeles Police Dept. and the Mayor of Los Angeles have refused to answer questions about the last wishes of two LAPD officers killed in the line of duty, and whether or not those wishes were carried out at their official funerals.
“There is no way to answer that question,” LAPD spokesman John Romero told The Enterprise Report last week, citing a variety of privacy rules and laws that may apply to an officer’s personnel records, even after death.
At issue are copies of a form held in the officers’ files, called a “15.7,” that enables officers to spell-out specific requests should they be killed in the line of duty.
The SEC alleges Freidman, along with his two companies—Diversified Lending Group (DLG) and Applied Equities, Inc. (AEI)—perpetrated a $216 million real estate investment fraud, raising money from hundreds of investors nationwide, many of whom are seniors, promising guaranteed high returns via real estate investments.
The complaint alleges that Friedman diverted substantial investor money to ventures unrelated to real estate, and misappropriated at least $17 million to support his lavish lifestyle, including purchases of a luxury home, cars, vacations, jewelry, and designer clothing for himself and an alleged girlfriend.
The SEC has frozen DLG’s, AEI’s and Friedman’s assets.
ORA: The Organization for the Resolution of Agunot, is organizing a rally to protest the abusive behavior of Meir Kin, who is mesarev le-din by the Rabbinical Council of California (RCC). Our posek, Rav Hershel Schachter, shlit"a, fully supports our work in pressuring Mr. Kin to give a valid get to his wife, Lonna.
Though the couple has been separated for over 4 years, all other outstanding issues have been resolved, and a civil divorce has been granted, Meir refuses to appear before a respected beit din to issue a get to his wife. Therefore, we are organizing a peaceful protest rally for Taanit Esther, Monday, March 9th at 5:00pm at the home of Rabbi Yitzchok and Mrs. Yedda Kin (356 N. Poinsettia Pl.), Meir’s parents, who continue to support and harbor Meir. Meir lives with his parents when not in Sacramento (where he is currently employed) and is at their house nearly every weekend.
We would greatly appreciate any support which you could provide towards our efforts. Beside for impacting this specific case, this rally will make a critically important statement to the Los Angeles Jewish community about respect for halakha and the plight of agunot. Therefore, we expect that you will join us at the rally. Please encourage your fellow congregants, students, friends, and family to be there as well.
We would like to take this opportunity to clarify the basic history of this case:
Upon receiving permission from Agudas Harabbonim, Lonna filed for divorce in the New York civil courts on December 16, 2004 and requested a get from Meir. He refused.
Meir submitted to the beit din of Rabbi Moshe Gobioff (Even Hamishpot), and Lonna submitted to the beit din of Agudas Harabbonim. At the same time that Rabbi Gobioff’s beit din sent her a seruv, Agudas Harabbonim sent Meir his first hazmana, and Rabbi Gobioff eventually retracted the seruv against her. The two batei din tried to arrange a zabla, but Meir refused to attend, so Agudas Harabbonim issued a seruv against him on March 22, 2006.
Meir moved to Los Angeles, so Lonna signed a shtar berurin with the RCC beit din on December 20, 2006. Meir refused to appear before the RCC, and a seruv was issued against him on March 26, 2007. Despite Lonna’s attempts to settle all issues in beit din (and having discontinued the divorce proceedings in civil court, the motion of which was filed on June 14, 2006), Meir filed for divorce in the Los Angeles Supreme Court on May 2, 2007, precisely 6 months after he declared residency in California thereby making him eligible to file in court there. Unlike in New York, where the Get Law would have assured that Lonna would receive her get, there are no provisions in California family courts which assure the provision of a get.
As you can see, this case has an unfortunately long history. The bottom line is that all divorce issues have been settled, yet Meir refuses to issue a get from a respected beit din. Instead, he has received a heter me’a rabbanim from the beit din of Rabbi Tzvi Dov Abraham, who claims that a get is available for Lonna to pick up. However, Abraham has stated that the get will be available for her on condition that she submits to a binding din Torah with Abraham’s beit din to rehash all divorce matters that have already been settled, including child custody. Abraham is notorious for assisting husbands in extorting exorbitant sums from their wives in exchange for gittin. Therefore, the Rabbanut in Israel, the RCC, the Beth Din of America, Agudas Harabbonim, and Rabbi Moshe Green (rosh yeshiva of the Yeshiva of Monsey) have all stated explicitly that they do not recognize gittin issued by Abraham and his beit din. Essentially, Meir has chosen to issue a get to his wife from the one corrupt beit din which everyone agrees not to recognize. He has refused to attend any other beit din to issue the get.
Upon request, we will provide documentation.
A rally is the last thing that we would like to do. For nearly three years, ORA attempted to resolve this situation peacefully through mediation. Tragically, we are now left with no choice but to apply significant communal pressure. Meir Kin refuses to comply with Halakha, and the Kin family remains resolute in their support for Meir and his abusive, contemptible behavior.
Please join us on Taanit Esther. This rally will make a difference. For more information, of if you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to send an email to [email protected], call us at 212-795-0791, or visit this rally’s website at www.MeirKin.com.
Kol tuv,
The ORA Team
Morris emails me: DEAR LUKE I SAW YOUR POSTING ABOUT THE RALLY AGAINST MEIR KIN. PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT THIS IS ONE FABRICATED LIE , ANDTHAT RABBI WEIL, RABBI UNION, RABBI SAUER, RABBI GOLDENBERG AND RABBI BESS ARE PUPPETS OF THE EVIL HERSCHEL SCHLECHTER OF YESHIVA UNIVERSITY. STAND-BY AND I WILL SEND YOU SUPPORTING DOCUMENTS TO THIS HENIOUS AND LOWLY CRIME AGAINST AN INNOCENT JEW IN LOS ANGELES. YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN BELIEVING ANYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF BETH JACOB WHERE LONNA KIN’S PARENTS, RABBI AND MRS RONALD RALBAG DAVEN. OF COURSE THEY WILL TWIST THE TRUTH!! THIS MAN HAS OFFERED A GET 1 YEAR AGO!!! AND SHE REFUSES BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO EXTORT MORE MONEY FROM HIM AS YOU WILL SEE FROM THE UPCOMING DOCUMENTS.HER FORMER HUSBAND, DR STEVEN PRESSER, IS STILL SUFFERING FROM HER. SHE REFUSES TO ALLOW HIM TO SEE HIS DAUGHTERS. IN FACT THE REASON WHY MEIR AND LONNA HAVE NOT BEEN TO A BAIS DIN SINCE HER FILING FOR DIVORCE IN 2004, BECAUSE SHE RAN TO NY FAMILY COURT AND OBTAINED A GAG ORDER WHICH PROHIBITED HIM FROM REVEALING TO ANYONE INCLUDING RABBIS AND POLICE OFFICERS OF THE HENIOUS CRIMES SHE WAS PERPERTRATING IN HER HOUSE!! WHY ELSE WOULD SHE GAG HIM! i SPOKE WITH MEIR AND HE REFUSES TO TELL ME WHAT SHE GAGGED HIM BECAUSE HES FEARFUL OF GOING TO JAIL AS YOU WILL SEE FROM THE LETTER OF RABBI GOBIOFF. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS AND I WILL SOON SEND YOU ALL THE DOCUMENTS THAT PROVE CORRUPTION OF RABBI WEIL, RABBIS OF RCC LISTED ABOVE, HERSCHEL SCHLECHTER, ORA AND THE JEWISH PRESS NEWSPAPER.
i will be sending you multiple emails with each having attachments. here is the first one. here are letters in hebrew and english showing that 1 year ago, meir kin had deposited a get with them but lonna kin is refusing to pick it up! also see this link: http://mishpattsedek.com/Justice-Denied-LA.htm this website lists the letters from rabbi gestetner that the RCC seiruv against meir kin are fraudulent. notice how rabbi gestetner is the only rabbi citing halachic sources to back up meir kin, whereas the gangster rabbis never cite one! also see the letter at that site written by rabbi ginzberg from agudath harrabonim in SUPPORT OF MEIR KIN and stating that no seiruv should be placed on him since she obtained a gag order which does not allow him to express himself freely in front of ANY BAIS DIN !
this attachment shows that rabbi aryeh ralbag is one of the chief dayanim of this bais din. the evil ORA organization failed to mention that lonna kin’s maiden name is ralbag and rabbi aryeh ralbag is HER FIRST COUSIN!!! that makes that BAIS DIN (Agudas Harrabonim) disqualified because of family ties. so once again you see the corruption!! they ostracize Meir Kin for failing to appear at that Bais Din which belongs to her cousin aryeh ralbag! additionally the 2nd in command, rabbi Ginzburg, issues a letter in advance of their siruv not to issue a seiruv since meir kin had been halachacally compliant!
in these attachments, you will see rabbi gobioff calling her to a din torah, which of course she refused. he also put a seiruv [a person in contempt of the Bais Din, the Jewish law courts that govern traditional Jewish life] on her for the gag order. she ultimately… him to remove that seiruv while the gag order against meir kin is still in effect! also see letter signed by 3 monsey rabbis listing the sequence of events. also contrary to ORA’s claims. lonna kin never fully removed herself from the courts as she still maintains court orders in the ny family court, and it’s contrary to halacha to adjudicate matters in a bais din while maintaining a foot in the civil courts.
in regards to the false claims that rabbi gestetner is not accepted, see the attached recommendation letters in hebrew of rabbi gestetner (another). By the way, it does not state in Halacha that the woman gets to choose which scribe or rabbi shall write the GET.its as ridiculous as someone telling you that you must only eat from a particular hashgacha.
ORA is against rabbis giving "HETER MEA RABBONIM" which is a signature from 100 rabbis allowing a man to remarry when you have a recalcitrant woman. however the same rabbi ralbag, lonnas cousin, who is the rabbi of the corrupt agudath harrabonim is seen in the attached article to be accused of issuing a heter mea rabbonim because he was paid off.
now i will reveal to you that the real extortionist is lonna kin who has her lawyer write "in disguise" an offer letter requesting a total of 1.5 million from a man who has nothing!
Incidently Luke, you are very good in looking up court records. I believe lonna kin just finished litigating her first husband , dr steven presser, and won a large award! this woman is a real fighter and can fight 2 ex- husbands at the same time!
there is no question, that in this generation the revered Rav Elyashiv is considered a GIANT in Halachic rulings. Please see attached psak from Rabbi Elyashiv that one cannot coerce a man to give a GET under most circumstances. even more so, in our case , where Meir Kin had already prepared a GET and she refuses to pick it up!
THEREFORE IN THIS MONTH OF ADAR, WHERE JEWS ARE SUPPOSED TO UNITE, INSTEAD WE SEE CORRUPTED AND MISGUIDED RABBIS FEEDING FALSE IDEAS AND FACTS TO THE PUBLIC, IN ORDER TO EMBARRASS AND HUMILIATE THE KIN FAMILY AND COERCE MEIR AGAINST HIS HALACHIC RIGHTS. THESE RABBIS AND ORA ACTIVISTS ARE RENDERED RESHAIM(WICKED PEOPLE) AS RABBI GESTETNER INDICATED IN HIS LETTERS THAT I’VE ATTACHED AGAIN. THEREFORE IT IS A MITZVA TO PUBLICIZE THESE MISGUIDED INDIVIDUALS AND ASK THEM TO DO TESHUVA. THEY ARE LONNA KIN, RABBI HERSCHEL SCHLECHTER, RABBI UNION, RABBISAUER, RABBI BEIRISH GOLDENBERG, RABBI GERSHON BESS, RABBI STEVEN WEIL, RABBI KOROBKIN, JEREMY STERN (ORA), JOSH ROSS(ORA).WE SAY IN PURIM : VENAHAFOCH HUH. IT IS MY HOPE THAT THEIR EVIL INTENTIONS SHOULD BE TURNED ON THEMSELVES.
Kishke writes: "Why is he withholding the get now?"
Morris responds: "A GET HAS BEEN PREPARED AND WAITING FOR HER TO BE PICKED UP. SO HER CLAIMS ARE FABRICATED IN ORDER TO EXTORT MORE MONEY FROM HIM. PLEASE SEEATTACHED LETTER FROM 2 RABBIS."
Kishke emails: "It is forbidden to write a heter me’ah rabbanim w/o providing a get for the woman without preconditions. It’s become unfortunately common among vindictive husbands and their rabbinic enablers to write these substandard heter me’ahs without providing a get, and then to claim when challenged that there’s a get waiting, when in fact there’s no way the woman will ever lay hands on it without payoffs.
"I’m pretty sure that being a cousin doesn’t disqualify you from serving on a court, so there’s no reason Ralbag can’t serve; it is true, though, that Ralbag himself is no angel when it comes to the heter me’ah rabbanim racket. This guy Abraham is a complete nut and lowlife and evil bastard, and I’m not surprised he’s involved here on the husband’s side. (By the way, I think the Jewish novelist Pearl? Abraham is his daughter; from what I heard, he drove her away with his misogyny, but I might be mixing the two up.) All we need now is Blumenkranz (another heter me’ah extortionist) and the evil cabal will be complete. I don’t know anything about the RCC (save that you don’t like them) or Gobbioff, but I’m not impressed by the other batei din mentioned here (Agudas Harabbonim & Abraham). Anyone who wants an honest, incorruptible beis din wouldn’t go near these guys w/a ten-foot pole."
"If he has a heter me’ah, there’s not the slightest reason she should not have a get. The fact that she does not, combined with the involvement of Abraham, is very damning. Morris’s excuses are unconvincing."
Morris replies: "a message to kishke: go to hell you feminist bitch! you feminists dont care about the truth, and you dont care about equality, because if you did, then you wouldnt condemm a man who is innocent. why dont you go marry another woman so you wont need a GET if things dont work out between you two!"
ChaimAmalek: "Jesus, if you give me wealth and hot sex, I will dedicate my life to you"
ChaimAmalek: Ditto you, Mohammed.
ChaimAmalek: I will become a Communist if it gets me a nice apartment, a pension, and some hot young honies
ChaimAmalek: Real Jews don’t care about all this Jewish crap.
ChaimAmalek: We care about the price of lox at Zabars
Thursday morning I skip my three hours of Alexander Technique class and drive east on I-10, east on the 60, north on the 605, east on the 210 to White’s Funeral Home in Azusa and gather with dying members of a dying industry to remember our friend.
David Sullivan writes for AVN:
Industry veteran Marty Turkel died Monday evening at San Dimas hospital of a heart attack, following a prolonged series of health setbacks. He was 75.
"He was my best friend, and a legend in the industry," said Ed Kail, who shared an office with Turkel at VCA Pictures for more than 20 years. "Everybody knew his name, and they knew he was not only a dynamite salesperson but a wonderful human being. He was loved by everyone in this industry. I loved him like a brother, and I’m going to miss him very much."
Born in Brooklyn, New York on Dec. 18, 1933, Turkel served with the U.S. Army during the Korean War. He was wounded and briefly held as a POW.
"Marty had been in frail health for three years," an emotional Kail told AVN. "He suffered multiple strokes and heart attacks. He had at least ten operations, and at the end, he had very little quality of life."
Ed Kail’s daughter, Bonnie, spoke to AVN about her enduring affection for Turkel.
"I loved Marty so much," she said. "Because he and my dad were like brothers, I called him Uncle Marty. The two of them together were like Heckle and Jeckyl. Marty was just so funny, so hilarious. I’m going to miss him so much."
Turkel is survived by his wife of 51 1/2 years, Lynn; his son Larry and daughter Nikki; his brother Allie; his daughter-in-law, Pam, and son-in-law Jack; and his grandchildren, Bryce, Jackie, and J.P.; and his great-grandson, Desmond.
"I’m going to miss him," Ed Kail said. "I love Marty as I love a brother, and I always will."
Turkel will be cremated according to his wishes. A memorial service will be held Thursday, March 5 at 10:30 a.m. at White’s Funeral Home at 404 East Foothill Blvd. in Azusa, Calif.
I arrive at 10 am and find Rob Spallone in sunglasses holding forth to a small group about his reality show. We shake hands. He looks at me and asks, "What happened? You became a rabbi?"
I smile.
Rob turns back to the group. "Anyway, they said they would edit it. It’s easier to show it to a network and tell them, ‘We could take this out’ than to say, ‘We can add this.’ These guys think it could go on regular television… These people are from Hollywood. They shot me for 18 hours and they were fighting with each other. They couldn’t hold the camera they were laughing so hard. Everything that could go wrong on a shoot went wrong. First girl didn’t show up. Second girl called to say that she didn’t want to work with the guy because he does gay movies. The first scene was done on a car and the windshield broke. It was perfect. I was out of my mind."
Bloke: "All my friends are celebrities now."
Woman: "You saw Dennis on TV?"
"I can’t stand Dennis."
Rob: "I was at dinner with Joey Buttafuoco and Paris Hilton was at the next table. And she sat there like a little angel because she was with grandma and grandpa, mom and dad."
"I took my car in to Joey’s place and there was something I didn’t like, so I took scissors from his table and carved Xs in the car."
I talk to Rob.
Rob: "Is this the new look? Do you have to have this? You look a lot better without it."
Luke to Rob: "Where are you living now?"
Rob: "I’m moving to the Valley this week. I’ve slept on [his ex-wife] Helena’s couch the past five weeks."
Luke: "Is Helena gonna be in the…?"
Rob: "Yep. They love her."
Luke: "I thought you were out of the business?"
Rob: "I’m seeing what happens with this."
Luke: "What happened to your ice cream store?"
Rob: "I’ve got to find the right spot."
Mara Epstein walks up and hugs everyone in sight. She doesn’t recognize me.
Luke: "No hug for me?"
Mara stares at me. "Oh God," she says and hugs me.
Times are tough in her industry. She lost her health insurance. For the past decadae, she’s had a sick husband to look after.
"I always thought that if you devote yourself to doing good things for people, good things will happen to you," reflects Mara.
Our friend Gloria Leonard is moving from Hawaii to Florida.
Rob says: "His wife don’t talk to me. I had to whisper."’
Luke: "Why don’t she talk to you?"
Rob: "We were at the Rainbow about a month ago and I was drunk and I asked her to scratch my balls."
Luke: "She took offense at that?"
Rob: "She got mad."
Rob goes back to talking about his reality show. "So this woman called from this Judge Judy type show. I said to her, call me tomorrow. She calls back the next day. I say, ‘Tell me you love me.’ She says what? I said, ‘Tell me you love me.’ So she says, I love you.
"I say, I’m going to make your show. I’m suing Joey Buttafuoco. We go down to the stage. Joey’s comes in first with his witness. They tell me not to use the f-word. The taping starts. I say to Joey, ‘F— you.’ He tells me to shut up.
"When we walk out, I lunge at him. I spit on him.
"Afterward, I got to meet with the producers. This was two months ago. I brought in Helena. I brought in Jerry the limo driver."
AVN publisher Paul Fishbein walks up. He stares at me, shakes my hand, and says to Rob, "He looks Amish!"
Rob: "That’s what I said."
"So it starts out with me in the business. I’m loaded. Then the business crashes and I’m dying. They repossess my Mercedes and my sports car. I end up living on my ex-wife’s couch."
"They said that the next time I come in, they’ll have a contract for me. I told them to have someone read it to me. I can’t read."
Luke: "You could read my website."
Rob: "If somebody calls me up and says that I’m on it."
I go inside and sit alone. Then Rob joins me. We sit behind Howard Levine (his brother is a Conservative rabbi), who’s blinged out with a couple of silver bracelets, Peter Reynolds and a sales guy from Devil’s Films.
There’s a basket with cheap black plastic yarmulkes. Only a handful of guys put them on even though the crowd is majority Jewish.
Marty was not an observant Jew nor were any of his friends in the industry.
Howard talks about "the crew."
"Is that a Mafia term?" I ask.
My friend Paul Buch runs the service (for the 60 or so people in the chapel, I think Seka is the only talent to show). He’s the cantor at the Reform synagogue Temple Beth Israel of Pomona. With over 400 member families, it is the largest Jewish institution between Pasadena and Las Vegas.
Paul: "Shalom friends. Please turn off your cell phones, pagers. Or at least set them to vibrate.
"I’ve been asked by Marty’s family to officiate. We’ve gathered here to say goodbye.
"The Hebrew word for funeral is levaya. It comes from the Hebrew word levavot, which means to accompany or escort. Our tradition teaches us that when a person dies, it is only the body that dies. The soul does not die. It can’t die. As the body begins its return to the dust from which it came, the soul is being restored to God. Those of us who are left behind, it is now our task to escort Marty to the borders of this life to God’s embrace that awaits him in the world to come."
I talked to Marty about religion a few times. He was fascinated by my journey but said he was not a religious man.
I’m thrilled this Reform cantor is talking about the eternality of the soul. Too often non-Orthodox clergy wrongly assert that Judaism does not believe in an Afterlife. It does. It always has. It just doesn’t talk about it much. Unique among the world religions, Judaism focuses us on this life.
Paul: "We do this through not only the words of our sacred text, but through our melodies and in that spirit I ask you to join me in Psalm 121…"
Paul reads: "I will lift my eyes to the mountains. My help will come from Adonai…"
We recite: "The Lord is my shepherd. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures."
Paul delivers the eulogy. "Marty made an indelible impact on all who knew him."
"Because he was the oldest, he was often called upon to be a caregiver to his younger siblings."
"When he was 22, his cousin Gail introduced Marty to her 16 year old friend from Bensonhurst, Lynette. At first Lynette didn’t think that much of Marty. He was certainly too old for her. Surely he wouldn’t think much of a high school kid like her. She was just a baby after all. But three months later, they were engaged.
"As his son Larry says, his father was the hardest worker he’s ever known. While Marty was a successful at almost anything he tried, he was a natural born salesman."
"Marty and Lynette were committed to building a more secure life for their three children than they had, and the family eventually moved into a beautiful home on Long Island.
"Throughout their entire childhood, Marty would always make it a point to spend quality time with his kids, especially on Sundays when he would wake them early in the morning, first to go out to breakfast, and then to some activity like horseback riding or to the beach… As long as they were together.
"Marty was always generous with other family members and friends, offering them a place to stay. These demonstrations of chesed — the Jewish value of compassion — continued up until recently when Marty gave away Lynette’s old car to a plumber who came to work on the house so his daughter could have her own wheels.
"Shortly after their son Bruce passed away, Marty and his family moved to California where Marty found his true professional calling in sales and distribution for VCA Pictures where he worked for over 20 years. If there was one message I heard over and over again yesterday when I met with Marty’s family and friends it was how much Marty loved his job and his industry. He found great satisfaction participating in the activities of its trade association, the Free Speech Coalition. He had great affection and respect for his coworkers, colleagues and clients…
"Marty also loved to play golf, though his friends say he didn’t do it very well. Along with his friend Ed [Kail], he was known to get into a little acting now and again [The Sopornos]. He had a great sense of humor. He was a bit sarcastic at times…
"Marty always seemed to care more about you than about himself…
"Nicky shared yesterday, how ironic that a man with such a big heart was taken from us when his own heart failed.
"Marty Turkel, Z"L. May his memory be a blessing."
Marty’s younger brother speaks. Bonnie Kail speaks. Other family and friends speak.
Howard Levine shares a life lesson he learned from Marty. "If you are in Las Vegas and you win $2,000, you immediately call your wife and tell her you are up $300 and half of it is hers."
This gets the biggest laugh of the day.
A few persons later, I speak briefly. "My name is Luke Ford. I wrote about the industry for 12 years. During those 12 years, Marty was the only person who was always glad to see me. I remember Marty as a man with a smile and a personality that would light up the room and make everybody feel good and feel happy."
After the service, I shake hands with Ed Kail.
"I almost didn’t recognize you," he says. "You look like a rabbi."
"I’m undercover," I say.
Marty and Ed always thought I was undercover law enforcement.
I give Lynne a hug. "Thank you for your lovely stories about Marty," she says as she releases me.
I take a strong final look at her before walking away. She’s disturbingly beautiful.
I walk outside into the sunshine and stand near Rob Spallone.
"Your psoriasis is better," I say.
"No," he responds. "It’s worse than ever. Only on my face [is it better].
I want to shake hands with Russ Hampshire, who was like a father to me during my first years blogging on his industry.
Russ walks up to me: "Luke!"
"How are you?"
"Are you a rabbi now?"
"Not quite. How are you? You look well."
"What are you doing now?"
"I’m just writing a bunch of blogs, mainly on Jewish life."
"Your area has changed. Good."
"I quit writing on the adult industry about 18 months ago."
"Why?"
"I just couldn’t take it anymore. What are you doing? Still playing golf?"
"Yes. I was supposed to play today but I wanted to be here."
Paul Fishbein walks out of the chapel. "I can’t hang around smokers," he says.
Almost everyone on the lawn, including Russ, is smoking.
"If we were drinking wine [you’d stay]," someone says.
"Yeah, that’s because that’s healthy," says Paul. "Sorry. How long have I been preaching? I used to yell at Marty. What are you doing? He’d say, ‘Ahh, I’m enjoying it.’ I’m sure. That part we know."
Paul asks Howard if he’s going to any shows. Paul says he’s going to a concert 10 days before his 50th birthday.
It’s the first time I’ve seen Paul looking his age.
I drive home west on the 210, passing a billboard for 100.3 FM that reads: "A deeper way to rock."
I wanted to take a cheap shot here and say this shows Obama is just an empty suit but I don’t think that’s the bottom line here. Rather, Obama is cautious.
WASHINGTON — As he introduced his new choice for secretary of health and human services in the East Room this week, President Obama turned his head from right to left, but he wasn’t looking at the audience. He was reading from two teleprompters, strategically set up outside the tight television camera shot.
When he was done, the teleprompters quietly began retracting down to the floor. As she stepped forward to make her own remarks, his nominee, Kathleen Sebelius, seemed momentarily surprised.
“Don’t mind the little—— “ Mr. Obama said with a smile.
“It’s disappearing!” she joked.
Presidents have been using teleprompters for more than half a century, but none relied on them as extensively as Mr. Obama has so far. While presidents typically have used them for their most important speeches to the nation — an inauguration, a State of the Union or an Oval Office address — Mr. Obama uses them for everyday routine announcements, and even for the opening statement at his news conference.
He used them during a visit to a Caterpillar plant in Peoria, Ill. He used them to make brief remarks at the opening of his “fiscal responsibility summit.” He used them during a visit to the Interior Department to discuss endangered species, even as he recalled a visit to some national parks as an 11-year-old. “That was an experience I will never forget,” he said, reading from the teleprompter.
I am stunned that David Suissa would air his reservations about this new program in the Jewish Journal. It is not often that he comes across as a skeptic. I am sure the rabbis are shocked too, expecting only applause for this initiative.
On the surface, this program, which was founded “in conjunction with leaders in the business and legal communities,” seems like a progressive slam dunk. It takes a noble and abstract idea — improving ethical behavior and standards in the Jewish community — makes it specific and puts real teeth behind it. Let’s face it: hanging a proclamation on a wall regarding legal compliance is serious business.
But while I love the daring nature of the initiative, the more I think about it, the more it makes me uneasy.
First, let’s imagine that I’m a perfectly lawful Jewish merchant on Pico Boulevard who would prefer, for whatever reason, not to trumpet my compliance with any set of laws, which is my right. Is it fair that I might end up looking bad — or even unlawful — and that my business might suffer, just because I choose not to get the Peulat Sachir document?
Also, isn’t it weird to announce that you’re following the law? Isn’t that like running an ad that says, “We don’t steal”? And if legal compliance is important, why single out treatment of employees? What about suppliers, clients, competitors or the INS and the IRS? Are they any less important or ethically relevant?
Where do you draw the line? If you’re going to look at laborers in the workplace, should you also look at the thousands of Jewish households in our community who violate labor laws when they employ illegal workers?
In short, is it smart for spiritual leaders to get involved with the messy business of legal compliance? What will they do, for instance, if they hear a sexual harassment accusation in a workplace? Try to figure out who’s telling the truth?
As you well know, we are in the midst of a financial crisis unprecedented during our lifetimes. As a community we must take stock of the circumstances and react to the new realities in a responsible way. The phenomenon of so many of our friends and neighbors experiencing hardship deserves our attention and consideration.
Philosophically, it is perhaps the time to remember what we all know to be true. Our material possessions are a gift to us from God who divides "the pie" as He sees fit. Those of us who are the beneficiaries of His generosity must use our share to care for our families and to help others less fortunate.
A good time to put this lesson into practice is Purim. The Mitzvah of matanot la’evyonim "gifts to the poor" should be given special emphasis. We should fulfill mishloach manot "presents of food" in the simplest way, two food items (one cooked or baked and a beverage) to one friend. In addition participation in our Sisterhood Mishloach Manot project gives you the opportunity to let your friends and family know that you thought of them.
Instead of spending large sums of money on fancy mishloach manot packages, consider what you have budgeted to be given to Matanot Le’Evyonim, Maot Chittim, and local charities which are helping the poor. We would strongly recommend Project Eliezer which is assisting people searching for jobs, people with mortgage and credit card debt, people in foreclosure, and with advice as to how to create and live within a realistic austerity budget. Project Eliezer has cards available which can be sent or delivered to friends in lieu of Mishloach Manot.
This Purim all of us in the community have the opportunity to fulfill all of the mitzvos of the day with priority given to pressing local needs. "Aniyai ircha ve’aniyai ir acheret, aniyai ircha kodmin" is the Talmudic equivalent of "charity must begin a home." If we reflect seriously on sharing what God has bequeathed us in the most productive and altruistic way, then we could spread the joy of Purim to our friends and neighbors who are going through hard times.
Zev writes: How does this charity actually do anything? They "assist" people looking for jobs, provide "advice" over how to live within budget . . . .These are things your uncle can do, you do not need organizations for that. And just because these types of organizations exist for inner-city single moms, it does not mean the Jewish community needs the same thing.
I’d rather give charity to a plain old fashioned tzedakah. The type that gives people down on their luck a box of food or a cash check. That’s real tzedaka. Not giving counselling sessions.
"This guy knows all the gossip, the ins and outs, the lashon hara of the Orthodox world. He’s an [expert] in... all the inner workings of the Orthodox world." (Rabbi Aaron Rakeffet-Rothkoff)
