What Must A Goy Do To Be Saved?

Greg Leake emails: Hi Luke,

Another adventurous excursion into the Torah with the patrician Luke Ford and the pugnacious Rabbi Rabbs. I have a growing sense of appreciation of some elements of the Jewish faith. At the same time I thank G-d that my mother was not Jewish, and also for Jesus bin Joseph. Otherwise I probably would have fallen heir to all of these obligations and responsibilities and would have been a considerably less free human being.

Rabbi Rabbs, I have wondered in times past why every reference to Christianity was directed at sort of the lowest common denominator on the Christian theological spectrum. Always some bumpkin TV preacher, and never the sophisticated theology of, say, graduates of Union Theological Seminary. Now I think I know, because of your discussion of the Methodists. Apparently you really don’t know much about it.

So here are a few points that might interest you.

The Protestant Reformation was actually a very big deal, and you might be surprised to learn that you probably share more with Protestants than you do with Catholics.

Although you were hearkening back to an appreciation of Christians who are following their tradition, that tradition actually shares less with your point of view than the Methodists. For example, the Protestant denominations feel very much as you do about idols. Protestant churches are intentionally austere in their iconography because of the idol worship idea.

One of the really spectacular and beautiful visions one can behold is a magnificent Catholic cathedral. Outside of the grandeur of nature, there may be no more beautiful and aesthetic experience. However, the church will be punctuated by many statues of saints and Mary and the Nazarene. Some of the statues are so lifelike and celestial one almost feels that they are beholding the holy persons themselves. A Protestant church will have, perhaps, a cross; a manger scene at Christmas.. Naturally Protestants would not see members of the holy family as idols. At least no more than they would see Orthodox Jewish fummie dress as idols.

Another point is that the Christian tradition that I believe you allude to is essentially the Catholic, that includes Greek philosophy in its beliefs. You know, Augustine favored Plato, and Thomas Acquinas favored Aristotle. Obviously there are other philosophers and theologians that are not specifically Greek in origin as well.

Protestants are much more rigorously bound to the scriptures themselves without those scriptures being elaborated by inclusions from philosophies from elsewhere. For Protestants, the new and old testaments form the wellspring of the faith.

And, you know, a big division between Catholics and Protestants is that Catholics believe that the sacramental wafer and wine literally become the body and blood of Christ through transubstantiation.

Protestants, on the other hand, for the main part see the communion as a sacred, symbolic ritual somewhat like a sacred commemoration.

The United States came into being by Protestants: almost every signer of the Declaration of Independence was a Protestant. All of our impetus of growth, most of our ethics, and our sense of government grew out of the thinking of Protestants.

I am still enjoying your Torah talks. For the life of me, I cannot understand why Luke would find anything amiss with flirting with an attractive Jewish girl. Maybe someday someone will explain that one to me. And I hope you have a slightly better appreciation of some of the Methodists that you were treating so lightly.

RABBI RABBS EMAILS: Greg,

Thank you for your continued interest in our Torah Talks, and for taking the time to compose such a lengthy response to our latest episode.

You missed the entire point. My problem is not with Protestants. In fact, what I said was based on the words of a friend of mine who is a devout Protestant. If you are a devout Protestant, then you should appreciate what I said, because your problem should be with those who trample on Protestantism, and water it down into something it isn’t as the Methodists and Episcopalians apparently do.

I am not an expert on Christianity, so I will defer to my friend who wrote the following for me to forward explaining why Methodists are liberal and secular, and hence, very close to secular Judaism movements such as Conservative and Reform:

“I’d say the simplest test is whether the leadership of a church affirms historic Christian doctrine precisely on the points which are unpopular with the surrounding culture. A church which will not risk offending non-Christians and hemi-semi-demi-Christians is a country club with crosses strewn about in odd places, and in the US heresy has nearly always come from the top and not from the pew so we should look at the leadership.

So what does the UMC leadership affirm, permit, and defend? Here is one random example which took me all of a minute to find:

http://networkedblogs.com/6peaw

That was written before the Foundry Church vote, which I believe affirmed same-sex marriage, but basically the leadership is *fine* with Foundry Church defying current UMC doctrine and the whole testimony of the historic church in affirming same-sex marriage. Both the bible and church tradition in every branch of Christianity insist that this would require the leadership discipline the erring church. The article makes it clear that the leadership will do no such thing, because it agrees. Denial of the historic faith by the leadership is, I submit, sufficient grounds to prove apostacy, and in this case the apostacy is clearly in accord with secular liberal beliefs–pressure from the outside culture is the whole reason the issue was raised.

So much for the question asked. I just grabbed random illustrations from the net instead of using the more formal material from, for example, Thomas Oden’s book, but perhaps that is sufficient answer?

It is important, though, to understand that the above is entirely about the shrinking US church (and probably the British one, but I have no personal knowledge there). The third-world church is quite healthy and growing, particularly in Africa, having received their doctrine from Methodist missionaries before the mother churches ceased to believe. This is significant because unlike the Episcopalians the UMC is a single, international body, and representation is proportional to membership (with some caveats, and the leadership is apparently biased towards Americans). This page
tells the story of how it played out at the last general conference in 2008. The faithful, believing Evangelical Africans and others were up to 30% of the delegates (20% from Africa alone) in the 2008 conference, and they provided the margin of victory in, for example, reaffirming the UMC’s traditional stand on marriage and sexuality *against the wishes of the American leadership*. However, the US bias toward leadership appears to have placed a liberal preponderance on the Judicial Council, so it is quite clear that the UMC will have no will to actually discipline the defiant. My point, though, is that there are still reasons to think the UMC may remain Christian. But that only reinforces my accusation of liberal apostacy; if the church returns to faithfulness, it will be because the Africans who affirm the faith they were taught stood up to the apostate, liberal American leadership which has abandoned it. I suspect the 2012 General Conference, where another 10% of the delegates are likely to be third-world Evangelicals, will be…interesting.”

I believe his words are convincing, and I hope they clarify the matter. I look forward to your feedback.

GREG LEAKE EMAILS:

Rabbi Rabbs,
that is quite a lot of information that you posted. And your Methodist friend certainly sounds very conscientious about the factors related to his church.

I’m afraid the Jewish principle that you and Luke discussed in your Torah Talks seems to be active here: the one about the possibilities of a blessing and a curse coming from your activities.

Apparently my hope to inform about Protestantism generally led some to suspect that I might be a Methodist. In fact I am not, nor have I ever been, a Methodist, and if drafted I will not serve.

(I guess you know that President Bush and Laura Bush are both Methodists, and so are the kids.)

Still, I am familiar with the degeneration that is occurring in almost every religious expression in the West. I decry it as you do. There are some denominations that are holding the line better than others, but only a dozen years ago we would never have realized how degenerative the attacks on religious traditions would be.

A while back an Episcopal priest was at a seminar listening to distinguished speakers from the Episcopalian church. A woman priest took to the podium and began to describe the crucifixtion agony as the birth pains of a mother delivering a baby. He turned to his friend at that point and said, “We’re in big trouble.”

And I also agree with your larger points that the downward movement of religion is having a deleterious effect on society. Believe me, I can gripe about this as easily as anyone.

However, I will offer a few reflections.

I wonder whether the deterioration of religion is because of external forces or because the more traditional and conservative ways we conducted religion previously drove people away. Or in other words, is what is occurring now that we so dislike a product of our not being able to deliver the spiritual substance that people require in order to stay engaged in the way we would wish them to.

It seems to me that the ontological connection between human and divine has requirements, and it’s possible that we in the religious world may not have been successful in causing those requirements to be viable enough that people felt rewarded practicing their faith in the way we all grew up expecting. Are we the victims of the new devolutionary religious movement, or are we the progenitors? Do people simply not feel the viability of their relationship with G-d because we are not providing it? And does a return to the old verities help or hinder? These are questions that haunts my mind in the dark of night.

Here is another reflection. I believe that both Christians and Jews think there is veracity in the idea of the biblical Fall. I assume there would be some differences, but it may be one of those subjects about which there is a lot of agreement. The further distance a rock falls, the more velocity it picks up, and it seems to me that the Fall continues to resonate and echo throughout human history, the descent becoming faster and easier to cognize.

It seems to me, for example, that the United States once was a bastion of very clear principles that enjoyed almost universal appreciation. However, as the movement of history propels us downward, the further away from those original principles we get.. And finally those principles become a memory and then pass from sight altogether, like a ship traveling away from the shore.

It also seems to me that the original principles of our religions have lost gravity for many practitioners because through time people have drifted further and further away from an understanding of the divine impulses that created them in the first place.

So I entertain the possibility that what we are witnessing is a continuation of the Fall alongside other factors I will leave out for the moment because of space. And the Fall has now gone on long enough that the daily degeneration is for the first time really visible.

Is there some way to rescue all this? I know in my religious experience, “that old time religion” has done as much to drive people away as it has to retain them. And the Fall is a relentless, divine proclamation and not malleable by the possibilities of human activity, so I wonder where that leaves us.

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The Drift Is Over?

Rabbi Yosef Kanefsky writes for the Jewish Journal:

The recently released Statement of Principles concerning homosexuals within the Orthodox community has gotten a great deal of notice, both here and in Israel.

The document was authored primarily by my dear friend Rabbi Nathanial Helfgot, and I am honored to be one of the dozens and dozens of signatories.

The document is significant – historic really – for a variety of reasons. Some are obvious; others less so. Here are two of the latter:
(1) The document repeatedly acknowledges the very real possibility that homosexual orientation is genetically based and is not subject to change. While this is not really news to most of us, its explicit articulation in a document authored by Orthodox rabbis is paradigm-shifting. The true deep cause of Orthodoxy’s decades-long unintelligible stammering about homosexuality is the conundrum presented by the possibility that God is responsible both for homosexual orientation and for prohibiting homosexual behavior. The inadmissibility of either of the possible solutions to the conundrum (that the Torah is not Divine, or that God is terribly unjust) left our community inchoate at best, or championing “change therapy” at worst. The current Statement of Principles offers no solution to the conundrum either. In Talmudic parlance, the question is left as a “teyku”. But the authors of the statement courageously decided that homosexuals should not have to daily pay the social price for our inability to solve the theological puzzle. This is a huge paradigm shift.

I have a few thoughts.

One. The Torah does not categorize people by either sexual orientation or practice. The Torah does not divide between homosexuals and heterosexuals. It does not divide between people who like to have sex with teens and those who like to have sex with those their own age. It does not divide between people who like vanilla sex and those who like raunchy sex. It does not divide between people who like sex through a particular entrance and those who prefer another opening.

The Torah says man-on-man sex is forbidden, but it does not classify those who have such sex as “homosexuals.”

The idea of dividing people up based on the sexual acts they do is profoundly anti-Torah.

Two. The rabbi writes: “The document repeatedly acknowledges the very real possibility that homosexual orientation is genetically based and is not subject to change.”

Whether or not certain sexual preferences are genetic, or any behavioral choices are genetic, is irrelevant to the Torah. There is no basis in the Jewish tradition for cutting people a break on the observance of G-d’s commandments because they might have a genetic predisposition to doing certain things. On the contrary, the Torah assumes that the will of man’s heart is nothing but evil from his youth and therefore people should not follow their predispositions when these predispositions clash with G-d’s directives.

In this week’s Torah portion (Deut. 12:8), Moses warns the Israelites from doing what they think is right. Deut. 13:9 instructs the Israelites not to be compassionate when their compassionate feelings lead them to act contrary to G-d’s commandments.

Every healthy man is genetically programmed to inseminate as many woman as possible. This is as least a powerful a drive as the drive of homosexuals to have homo sex. Yet I don’t hear these liberal Orthodox rabbis calling for us to feel compassion for the average Joe hetero who wants to screw around. They only call for compassion for the homos.

Every healthy man is genetically programmed — much of the time — to want to bang 15-year old girls 100 times more than his own spouse. Just check the rape statistics to see who men really want to have sex with — girls 12-24 years of age. After the late twenties, there’s a dramatic drop-off in the likelihood of a woman being raped.

Should we therefore have compassion for those men who commit statutory rape?

John Derbyshire writes May 15, 2006 for National Review about the novel Lolita:

…very few of us are physically appealing after our salad days, which in the case of women I pegged at ages 15-20. While the storm was raging, biologist Razib Khan over at Gene Expression (forget philosophers, theologians, and even novelists: the only people with interesting things to say about human nature nowadays are the scientists) decided to look up some actual numbers. Reasoning that a rapist is inspired to his passion mainly by the physical attractiveness of his victim, Razib went for rape statistics.

He found a 1992 report (Rape in America: A Report to the Nation) from the National Victim Center showing the age distribution of female rape victims. Sixty percent of the women who reported having been raped were aged 17 or less, divided about equally between women aged 11 to 17 (32 percent) and those under eleven (29 percent). Only six percent were older than 29. When a woman gets past her mid twenties, in fact, her probability of being raped drops off like a continental shelf. If you histogram the figures, you get a peak around ages 12-14… which is precisely the age Lolita was at the time of her affair with Humbert Humbert. As Razib noted, my own “15-20” estimate was slightly off. An upper limit of 24 would be more reasonable. The lower limit really doesn’t bear thinking about. (I have a 13-year-old daughter.)

The rabbi writes: “The true deep cause of Orthodoxy’s decades-long unintelligible stammering about homosexuality is the conundrum presented by the possibility that God is responsible both for homosexual orientation and for prohibiting homosexual behavior.”

I find this sentence so obnoxious. First, he provides no examples of Orthodox Judaism’s “decades-long unintelligible stammering about homosexuality.”

Judaism has nothing to say about homosexuality because Torah literature does not recognize any such way to divide up people (by the sexual acts they perform or want to perform).

I am unaware of Orthodox Judaism being unintelligible in its clear condemnation of same-sex sex.

That G-d would give people an inclination to act contrary to His commandments is no conundrum. We would not need divine commandments if we just naturally oriented in their direction. We need divine guidance precisely because if we were to follow our hearts, we’d often destroy ourselves and those around us. Following the heart with regard to anything beyond personal taste (such as in music, favorite sports team) is a recipe for disaster.

Rabbi Rabbs emails: “How is anything that the long laundry list of rabbis, doctors, and others — none of whom I’ve ever heard of — agreed upon different from what Torah has always said, that all of us are inherently bisexual, that G-d gives us a drive for the same gender, that there is nothing wrong about having that drive, but that we must not act on it?”

Only those rabbis who have more of a secular liberal orientation than a Torah orientation would ever see the need to publish a statement of principles regarding any orientation contrary to Torah.

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Couples Counseling

Psycho-therapist Donna Burstyn blogs:

How does a couple know when they need counseling?

Many times one person believes counseling will help and the other does not. When we’re lucky, both will come in and one will blame the other.

I notice how they will sit. How they will choose to be in proximity to me. How do they align themselves? Do they cross their legs toward each other or far away from each other or do they sit at opposite ends of the couch?

For most people today, coming in for marital counseling is the last chance before someone files for divorce.

Marriage counseling can be used more effectively when things are fine and we then work on how to get things even greater.

Most of us don’t rock the boat when things are going well and go only when we are in danger of losing the marriage.

I see couples of all ages, gay and straight, multi-racial, different religions. Much of the conversation is the same. We seem to all struggle with intimacy, trust, commitment, sex and money.

Before we got married, how much did we know about the other person’s feelings and thoughts on these topics? How much did we know about the debt and dreams they carried? The family history?

The majority of the clients that I see that come in as a couple are from about 35 years old until mid-50s. Most are married.

They come in and say, “Donna, how can we improve our communication? He doesn’t hear me. She doesn’t hear me. I’m being blamed a lot. There’s the occasional domestic violence. I step into that in a much different way. If need be, police are called. Shelters are provided for. I take that extremely seriously.

If it has to do with learning new techniques to communicate with one another, then we work hard on changing the pattern we all get stuck in.

When children are involved, it’s a whole new layer. You have young lives that are waiting on mom and dad to get well as a couple. I am extremely tender and sensitive to the children involved.

I am the child of a divorce. It definitely made an impact.

My practice works cyclically. Suddenly I’ll get the phone ringing off the hook from people who want couples counseling. Then two weeks later it will be about individual counseling for adult singles who are older and have never felt successful in a relationship. The next one will be a group of people who are domestic partners and in gay relationships. By the fourth week, I’m seeing teens at risk.

Things go in waves.

The hours fly by. It’s often best to book two hours at a time, especially in the beginning. And then I like to take one partner and see them for one session alone so I can get to know more about them and their background.

Then I bring couples back together so I can look at patterns and the infrastructure they’re working with in their heads and then I overlay it with this couple’s relationship and so I have a better understanding of this couple’s relationship because it’s not just the couple in the room, it’s their parents and grandparents in the room too.

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Boyfriends

Psycho-therapist Donna Burstyn blogs: Today a young woman came into my office very courageous. The principal of her Jewish day school threatens to kick her out because she sees a boy.

My patient is 15. Her boyfriend is 17.

For those who don’t know, many Orthodox day schools prohibit mingling with the opposite sex. That means phone talks, walking down the street together, texting, emailing each other, befriending them on the social sites. The belief is that there is enough distraction going on for people of that age, their bodies are raging with hormones, and if you give a dog a bone, they’ll want to lick it all over.

This girl has been warned several times by the principal of her school.

I said, instead of warning her and having her sign a contract that she would sign because she wants to stay in school, why not think of a way of doing it differently so we’re not forcing her into lying?

Why don’t we understand what she’s getting out of this relationship?

My understanding was that she was getting more out of the relationship than sexual experience. I don’t think there was intercourse involved. I thought that she was getting love that she wasn’t getting at home, male attention that she never got from her father. That she was developing into a girl who was very pretty and had never felt pretty before. She was losing her braces and her skinny legs and she was developing into a woman. I think she found a confidant, a best friend, and he happened to be a boy.

He goes to a school where he signs a contract that there won’t be any socializing with girls. But being that he is a senior, there’s more leeway.

My point is that we should talk to our daughters, they are all our daughters, and tell them that their body is a temple. That they need to preserve and to protect this temple and hold on to it for dear life. That they need to feel rich and excited for that one day when they will want to come to their husband clean and without marks and that nobody else has touched them before. And then have an experience that will be like no other and have that only with their husband for the rest of their life.

We are kidding ourselves if we think this is the only girl who attends an Orthodox day school who has a boyfriend. I’d say that maybe 60% feel comfortable with the rules of the school and that another 40% are hiding and lying and texting and giggling and having people cover up for them. Out of that 40%, I’d say that 5% are in deep relationships that contain love and sex.

Schools don’t want a reputation of having promiscuous girls. They want a reputation for having “good girls.” They want boys who study Torah and don’t study the opposite sex.

So what do we do when we have this beautiful girl in front of us who doesn’t receive the love, affection, dignity, honor, and respect at home that she needs. She’s in a chaotic family with many children. Her parents are over-burdened and can’t give her the time she needs. She needs love. She needs to feel valued. She needs to feel good about herself.

Her grades were dropping. Her relationship was getting more and more important.

I understood the pattern. I tried to explain it to the principal of the school. I was so grateful to sit across from the woman for an hour and she could hear me. Some of the other administrators are so rigid in their thinking. It would be much easier for them to throw the child out. But this woman said, ‘This young woman has something so special. I want to keep her here. I want to help her to get some of her needs met. And I need her to join me and to meet me somewhere. Let’s get her more tutors. Let’s have her feel a sense of mastery. Let her come to therapy twice a week. Let her find you as her confidant and not this boy. The sexuality will always be there but she found it too early.’

I had a really positive meeting. I prayed before I went in. ‘G-d, let this meeting go from my heart to these women’s hearts. And let there be no distraction. And please don’t let me step on anyone’s toes. Let the girl feel that I am behind her and let the principal hear that I want the best and that I don’t advocate letting her break the rules.’

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Jewish Journal Preparing Blockbuster CA Kashrut Expose

This well-researched story should hit the stands in a month.

I’ve done some independent research and the following story is about Schwarma Express in the San Fernando Valley. It is a kosher restaurant under the supervision of Rabbi Yehuda Bukspan (L.A.’s greatest Torah scholar). A few weeks ago, it changed its supervision to Rabbi Avraham Teichman’s Kehilla Kashrut. I suspect the owner, Asher, believed this would get him more business from the Ashkenazim.

I doubt the Ashkenazim eat much schwarma.

The same sort of scam was pulled on Noah’s Bagels and the Coffee Bean more than a decade ago to convince these stores to pull their kashrut from the supervision of Rabbi Yehuda Bukspan, for other, supposedly more rigorous supervision.

Schwarma Express is on Reseda and Burbank Blvds. After the disaster outlined below, Schwarma Express decided to stay with Rabbi Bukspan’s supervision.

The drip pans in the following story? Kehilla Kashrut insisted that Schwarma Express purchase the pans from them for $600 each! This was necessary before Kehilla Kashrut would certify the restaurant.

I found this Aug. 1, 2010 blog entry by a rabbi:

…None of these, however, even begins to compare with the sadness and shock of an event that I witnessed this past week, when a Jewish company took such advantage of another Jew, that the ugliness of their practices bodes us to not only pay attention, but to take action, before it is too late.

This “Community” company, (whom I may not name directly, under threat of reprisal from them), labels itself as amongst the most Observant of the most Observant; a company that in fact places itself at the highest level of Holiness by judging who is Kosher and who is not; and providing Hashgacha, on site inspectors who supervise a restaurant’s activities.

Rather than opine at the moment, please permit me to simply tell you what happened this past week, and how it transpired before my very eyes and ears:

I went into a known Kosher restaurant in the Los Angeles area around 2:30pm one day this past week. I approached the counter, looked at the menu on the wall and ordered the “Lunch Special” which consisted of a hamburger, fries and a fountain drink. I was told by the counter girl that she could not prepare that for me as the “Rabbi was blessing the place”. She looked over to three men sitting at a table and I approached, introduced myself and made it known that I have eaten there before; that I know it to be Kosher; and that I was accepting of the fact that a “Re-Hechshering” was in progress, but that I trusted the owner to not sell me non Kosher food, and asked that they please prepare the hamburger for me.

When I exited the restroom, I was again told that they could not prepare this order, but that I could have some Shawarma from earlier in the day, before the procedure had begun. Not wishing to find a different restaurant, I ordered the Shawarma and sat down to eat.

While seated, I heard the three men talking. The restaurant owner was pleading with the other two men, one American and one Israeli, to allow him to open and sell food. The two men say there and listened, but offered no solution. Two or three minutes later, the American said “I understand that you are upset. Let’s do this, if you agree to buy the pans now, you could be open in no time. In fact, you could be open right now if you would just buy the pans.”

My friends, I thought that Tony Soprano was sitting at that table. I felt as if I was in a scene from a Coppola movie, or that Ray Liotta was going to jump out of the back with a sawed-off and save the day. Did I hear right? Was the owner of this small Falafel stand being extorted?? And, if so, could this possibly be done in the name of Torah??? NO WAY, I told myself, and then, I felt compelled to ask these guys, and ask I did.

“Why are you keeping this man’s restaurant closed?” “Because he is not yet Kosher”, I was told. “Why is he not yet Kosher?”, I asked, “He has been Glatt Kosher for YEARS”, I continued. Their answer blew me away. According to this man, Larry Somebody, the restaurant was not Kosher enough, and the pans in question (drip pans used UNDER the Shawarma Rotisseries, NOT for food that would be eaten) might have come in contact with something bad, I was told, and therefore, the restaurant was not Kosher until he said that it was Kosher.

Welcome to Extortion 101.

I returned the following day and the owner thanked me for trying to help him. The Israeli man was back and sitting at the same table, while playing with his iPhone and getting up occasionally to make a plate of food (which, no he did not pay for). This “on site inspector”, by the way, earns $15 per hour, paid by the restaurant, which is in addition to the $675 per quarter that the restaurant pays the “Community” for their super supervision.

I asked the owner what had transpired. Why did he feel compelled to change Kashrut companies and was told by him that he had been approached and advised that were he to not change to this “Community”, “The Ashkenazim would not patronize his store”, thus, causing him financial loss.

Those are the facts. That is what I saw and what I heard. I called this “Larry” person on Wednesday morning, and informed him that I was going to write about this incident in my Column, and was warned that should I publish this piece, I could be hurting my new friend the restaurant owner. Now that this has published, let’s see what happens.

LINDA COMMENTS: I have patronized a small kosher restaurant in my community, where the owner & chief cook (a woman) was told that her approval would be removed if she insisted on continuing to wear pants instead of a skirt whilst cooking…her safety was secondary – she must think of being dressed “appropriately and modestly whilst in the kitchen cooking over flames and vats of grease…

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Birthdays

None of my birthdays hit me hard. The occasion of a birthday has never been monumental for me. It’s never been as sad as losing a job or a girlfriend or a community. I’ve never been as sad about my birthday as I have about the loss of another Dallas Cowboys season without a Super Bowl victory.

I lost my health at age 22, so after that, I had no more illusions about youth. Turning 30 and 40 was no way as significant as spending 1988-1994 in bed.

My hair started turning grey after I moved to Los Angeles in 1994. I was 27 and I started using Grecian Formula.

Dennis Prager says that 30 was the toughest birthday for him because it meant that he was no longer a kid.

I’ve never celebrated my birthdays. I’ve never done anything special for them. I like it when other people pay me attention, whether it is for my birthday or for my good looks or for my awesome Torah insights. It’s all good. I like back rubs and ego rubs and free meals and presents.

I know you’re thinking, oh, the Moral Leader, he’s so holy. He could never understand a sinner like me. It’s not true. The Leader understands.

Dennis Prager said on his show Aug. 3: “What’s the first birthday is not an unalloyed joy? It’s 30. At 30, it hit me that I am not a kid anymore. You can delude yourself in your 20s.”

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Why Are Christians Dancing Horas & Waving Israeli Flags? Teaneck’s Muslim Mayor — And the Only Jewish Republican in Congress

Click here to watch in High Definition (HD)

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Excuse Me If I Don’t Feel Sorry For Those Whose Jobless Benefits Have Run Out

I can’t believe some people collected 99 weeks of unemployment benefits. Sweet!

I’m self-employed. There’s no bailout nation for me. I have to make my own way in the world. So I don’t feel sorry for those whose generous nearly two-year benefits have run out.

I’m tired of all these pigs drinking at the public trough.

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Will Bnai David-Judea Follow Suit?

Bnai David is the most liberal Orthodox shul on the West Coast. I wonder if it will copy these developments in New York?

My yetzer hara says: “Do you remember Lamelle from when she was at Bnai David? She has a beautiful voice. And is easier on the eyes than the male baalei tefila. Maybe he’s on to something!”

Report:

In a move that apparently would make “history” for an Orthodox synagogue in the United States, the Hebrew Institute of Riverdale is scheduled tonight to have a woman lead a Kabbolas Shabbos service where both men and women are expected to be in the pews, according to the Jewish Week.

The Jewish week reports:

A one-page e-mail letter was sent Friday morning to members of the synagogue, which is led by Rabbi Avi Weiss. The rabbi was recently embroiled in a major controversy over assigning the title Rabba to an HIR spiritual leader, Sara Hurwitz. The letter states: “Kabbalat Shabbat will be led by a woman. This is a halachically acceptable practice, and models our values.” While some Orthodox synagogues have women’s tefillah groups, a woman leading a Friday-night service for both men and women has apparently not been done in an Orthodox shul.

Traditional interpretation of Jewish law bars women from such a public role in the prayer service for various reasons.

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What Must A Goy Do To Be Saved?

This week’s Torah portion is Re’eh:

Re’eh, Reeh, R’eih, or Ree (ראה — Hebrew for “see,” the first word in the parshah) is the 47th weekly Torah portion (parshah) in the annual Jewish cycle of Torah reading and the fourth in the book of Deuteronomy. It constitutes Deuteronomy 11:26–16:17. Jews in the Diaspora generally read it in August or early September.

Jews read part of the parshah, Deuteronomy 15:19–16:17, which addresses the Three Pilgrim Festivals (Shalosh Regalim), as the initial Torah reading on the eighth day of Passover when it falls on a weekday and on the second day of Shavuot when it falls on a weekday. And Jews read a larger selection from the same part of the parshah, Deuteronomy 14:22–16:17, as the initial Torah reading on the eighth day of Passover when it falls on a Sabbath, on the second day of Shavuot when it falls on a Sabbath, and on Shemini Atzeret.

In the parshah, Moses set before the Israelites the choice between blessing and curse. Moses instructed the Israelites in the laws that they were to observe, including the law of a single, centralized place of worship. Moses warned against following other gods and their prophets. And Moses set forth laws of Kashrut, tithes, the Sabbatical year, the Hebrew slave, firstborn animals, and the three pilgrim festivals.

(The first four minutes of the first video are a profound meditation about the dangers of excitement.)

TheTzadikOfTorahTown: No true black man dreams of the day when he can see his son walk down the aisle of his church to become another man’s wife.
TheTzadikOfTorahTown: Opposition to Prop 8 proved the old addage: the white liberal’s heaven is the Black Man’s hell
TheTzadikOfTorahTown: No black man wants his son to be some white man’s wife.
TheTzadikOfTorahTown: I want to see that woman from last week with the bare arms
TheTzadikOfTorahTown: This is like that scene in “The Ten Commandments” when one of Pharoh’s magicians did tricks.

TheTzadikOfTorahTown: Yes, if Chelsea marrying a Jew is bad, then why is Esther marrying a gentile good?
TheTzadikOfTorahTown: Should we give to those guys on the subway ?
TheTzadikOfTorahTown: “Excuse me I do not mean to disturb you….
TheTzadikOfTorahTown: What if they are selling candy so as to avoid getting into trouble on the streets?
TheTzadikOfTorahTown: Luke, you are not that far from being homeless yourself
TheTzadikOfTorahTown: Does the torah teach one to spit on the poor, Luke?
yiddishwizzard: no it does not
TheTzadikOfTorahTown: Lots of laid off people are living on the edge right now through no fault of their own.
TheTzadikOfTorahTown: Again, these are not Jewish views you are hearing here.
TheTzadikOfTorahTown: This is more like Bnai Ayn Rand
BubbaMetzia: I have an unrelated question. In the Shulchan Aruch it says not to decorate your house in the way of idolitors (or something like that). Does this mean Fend Shui is assur?
TheTzadikOfTorahTown: Next time, leg wrassle her.
You would do great on television or radio. Sort of the Next Generation Rush Limbaugh, getting the goyim — and even more so, the Jews! — all riled up with your notions concerning our Deity.

“Spitting on beggars: Luke Ford hosts an interfaith discussion.”

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