Tag Archives: quot

The Uninvited

"You should call your memoir ‘The Uninvited’," his therapist had said. That came back to him early Friday morning as he tossed and turned on his bed by the toilet. Oy, the shame! He’d signed up August 15 for the … Continue reading

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Catfight!

The other day, I was out on the town with the babes. My friend Jane* is a hottie. And a brain. We’ve never crossed the line. She’s a great girl but she’s nuts. Crazy jealous. Neurotic. So I want to … Continue reading

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Shul Vs. Yoga

"Everyone loves you at yoga," said my friend as we strolled to eat dinner at Nana tonight after class. "What about at shul?" I asked. "At shul, people are wary of you. But I’ve got to pass on a compliment. … Continue reading

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Is She Taiwanese?

I asked a friend tonight at yoga about a girl: "Is she Taiwenese?" "I don’t know," he said. "I don’t ask people for their racial classifications." "Big mistake, dude," I said in front of a dozen people. "Always find out … Continue reading

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The Most Poignant Comment About The Death Of Filmmaker John Hughes

Luke Y. Thompson, movie critic, actor, and long-time friend, writes on Facebook: "I’m sad he’s dead, but frankly, John Hughes movies lied to me. They said awkward dorks like me could find love – or even basic understanding – in … Continue reading

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Next Time, No More Mr Nice Guy

I write out three pages of my thoughts every morning. Here are some excerpts from my journal: I picture myself at a reconciliation meeting with the rabbi. "What do you want to do differently this time around?" he asks. "This … Continue reading

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Michael Jackson & The Rebbe

"When will the temple be rebuilt?" a woman asked me. "I don’t know." "Something is happening," she said. "The Rebbe and Michael Jackson share the same birthday. Michael’s middle name was Yosef. Michael is bringing the world together in a … Continue reading

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Closing Time by Joe Queenan

Queenan writes in his memoir that his writing career took off when he quit drinking. His second "My Turn" column for Newsweek "was an all-out assault on alcoholics in general and my father in particular. It recounted the beatings, the … Continue reading

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‘Drilling On Mother Earth Is Like Stabbing Your Mother’

Dennis Prager on his radio show Monday: "That’s how the Left feels about it and the Left is ruled by their feelings." Prager was in Dallas Sunday night to give a talk to Jews and Christians who’ve raised money for … Continue reading

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Killing George Bush

"What did you think of the shooting at the Holocaust museum?" my friend asked. "I thought it was tacky and insensitive," I said. "This was hardly the type of behavior appropriate to a Holocaust museum. "Wouldn’t it be awful if … Continue reading

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