Tag Archives: oy vey

Seven Minutes In The Hovel

Posted on October 30, 2009 by Luke Ford

"I want it to be different," he says. "I don’t want you to remind me of anything porny. Sex with you is different." "I am?" she says. "Thanks babe. You like what’s between my ears too? That’s love." "How’s your … Continue reading →

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Change

Posted on October 22, 2009 by Luke Ford

"I have to admit you’ve changed my image of Orthodox Jews," said the little old secular Jewish lady to me after hearing one of my rants. "I have to admit I put them in a box. I stereotyped them. But … Continue reading →

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Long Time Sun

Posted on April 2, 2009 by Luke Ford

At the end of yoga class tonight, the Guru said: "Let’s sing this for all those who don’t know that suffering is unnecessary." Oy vey! When I go to yoga, I feel like I am entering an alternate universe. I … Continue reading →

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The Sickest Feeling

Posted on March 16, 2009 by Luke Ford

The sickest feeling is when you are talking to a woman and you suddenly realize that she hates talking to you, she fears talking to you, she is only talking to you to be polite, so it won’t be awkward … Continue reading →

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The Bad Jew

Posted on February 24, 2009 by Luke Ford

"Would you carry this?" she asks. We’re outside the Santa Monica Co-Op on Broadway, a few blocks from where I had a passionate one-year fling with a gorgeous shiksa who was ten years my junior, five times more flexible, one-quarter … Continue reading →

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