This Week’s Torah Portion – Parashat Chayyei Sarah (Genesis 23:1-25:18)

I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on the Rabbi Rabbs cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Chayyei Sarah (Genesis 23:1-25:18).

* Rabbi Berel Wein writes: “The death of a parent at any stage of life and at any age is a tragic and traumatic experience. I find that the grief is more profound for the surviving spouse than even for the surviving children. Children somehow find a way to move on with their lives. They factored in the inevitability of the death of a parent into their subconscious and thus usually were and are able to deal with their loss. Not so with the surviving spouse who never imagined being left alone and bereft especially in old age.”

We have to learn to stand on our own two feet. We need to learn differentiation. Read the book Passionate Marriage for details. Nobody is ever going to always be there for us.

Rabbi Wein writes: “Abraham remarries Hagar/Keturah and even fathers children from her. But his concern and fatherly love is concentrated on his son Yitzchak, the son of his beloved Sarah.”

Most men are totally capable of having it on with multiple partners while feeling totally in love with another person.

Rabbi Wein writes: “Through Yitzchak, Sarah is still alive and present in the life of Abraham.”

This is not good for Yitzchak to have dad thinking Sarah is still alive through him. It’s not good for Avraham. A mentch treats people on their own terms.

Rabbi Wein writes: “Rebecca was Sarah incarnate.”

Not so healthy!

* Notice that whenever some king gets close to our matriarch Sarah, he comes down with the clap.

* Much like Eliezer, I too have been placing my fate in the hands of God to send me the proper wife.

* Rabbi Berel Wein writes: “After the death of Sarah, Avraham remarries to a woman named Keturah. Rashi, following Midrash, states that she was Hagar, the woman whom he had married earlier at the behest of Sarah herself and who became the mother of Yishmael.”

The midrash displays a hermeneutic of personage parsimony.

* Rabbi Berel Wein writes: “Living with the Hittites has taught him how cheap talk is in that society and that the words of his neighbors and erstwhile admirers are not to be relied upon. By recording the entire series of conversations and negotiations that mark Avraham’s purchase of the Cave of Machpela, the Torah warns his descendants that good words are often not to be taken at face value. Better criticism from a friend than compliments from an enemy.”

I am so eager for flattery at times I get taken in by sweet words. I am so eager for somebody to confirm my view of myself that I become a sucker. By contrast, I’ll turn away from good people who’ve rebuked me.

Rabbi Wein writes: “We have a right to be skeptical of good words alone. Only good deeds and positive actions have the ring of truth and conviction to them.”

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Interview With Paul Cook Of Direction Journal

Paul Cook is the most successful of the new breed of Australian Alexander Technique teachers.

Paul lives on the Gold Coast and owns Direction Journal.

Luke: “I remember working with someone from [this] Alexander school and she said they were forbidden at the school from taking lessons from any Alexander teacher outside of the [Patrick] MacDonald school.”

[Students of Patrick MacDonald’s training school remember almost nobody in the teacher training program would ever admit to Patrick about taking Alexander classes from any other teacher.]

Paul: “They are very sure about what they’re doing.”

“With the MacDonald people I’ve experienced, it’s black and white. I’ll give you the direction that you’re heading in and that will stand by you.”

Paul didn’t start learning hands-on teaching at his Melbourne school until the end of his second year of training.

By contrast, many schools teach it from the onset of a three-year course.

Luke: “How do you talk about Alexander Technique with people you meet?”

Paul: “Generally, I talk about posture. If you are going to talk to sports people about the Alexander Technique, you need to use words they understand. Posture is something they understand… So many people are prepared to do something about their posture if there is a way.”

Luke: “Where do you get most of your pupils?”

Paul: “In my first five years after graduating, I set up a room in my home and applied every marketing and sales skill that I’d learned from the food industry to find people.”

“It took me about two-and-a-half years to build up my practice in suburban Melbourne to about 25 people a week.”

During this time, Paul would speak to every group that would have him. “I was willing to do that. Nobody else in my class did. Not many Alexander teachers are wired for that. They want to teach but they don’t want to put themselves on public display.”

“My target is to change the perception of Alexander Technique in the world.”

The last two years, Paul has lived on the Gold Coast. He no longer has a private practice. “I was picked up by Gwinganna Lifestyle Retreat.”

“I’ve been doing a lot of introductory lessons.”

“I present to 30-60 people every week and I don’t have to go and find them and stick up posters and follow up and make sure they show up. The retreat gives me a venue and puts the people in front of me.”

“When I was in Melbourne and had to organize those introductory groups myself, that took a lot of work.”

Luke: “How many teachers in Australia make their primary living from teaching Alexander Technique?”

Paul: “I could probably count them with one hand.”

Luke: “Why do you think you’ve been able to make a go of it?”

Paul: “I hold myself responsible that those other people aren’t getting students because that was my mission when I trained. I wanted to generate enough demand for Alexander Technique that when a person graduates from an Alexander training school, their phone starts ringing. If they don’t want to go talk to groups of people, then the phone’s ringing anyway.”

“In my third year of training, I said [to the director], ‘Can I go out and start making contacts with people?’ He said of course.”

“The other reason is that you train to be a teacher of the Alexander Technique. You don’t train to be a marketer of the Alexander Technique.”

“I did a special issue of the Direction Journal about the training school and all these directors said, ‘There’s not enough time in three years to teach people the Alexander Technique let alone how to market themselves. That has to be learnt on the job.”

“When you graduate, unless you have a background in sales and marketing or unless you like it, you’re in big trouble.”

“When Karen Chapman closed her yoga and Alexander school in Sydney and moved to Brisbane, she had 17 years experience. She knew what she was doing but she didn’t expect people to knock on her door because in Brisbane, there was no profile for Alexander Technique. So she and her husband invested in a PR firm to create a logo, a brand, a website and to write the advertisements that would go in publications that fit the demographic of the person who’d come for lessons. I think they invested something like $30,000 over the course of a year or two to get professionals to write the words that the consumer understands. Not explaining the Alexander Technique. You can’t do that on a piece of paper, not on the quarter page advertisement that Alexander teachers [often] try in the local paper.”

“The general public learned about the benefits of coming to see them rather than, ‘What is the Alexander Technique?’ They called their business the Back School.”

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Yisroel Pensack: Work to Begin Tomorrow on $1.6 Million Upgrade of San Francisco Orthodox Synagogue’s Social Hall Building

Congregation Chevra Thilim, which describes itself as “San Francisco’s oldest Orthodox congregation,” has announced that construction will begin tomorrow on a $1.6 million project to renovate and upgrade its large social hall building. The project, expected to be mostly completed by next September in time for Rosh Hashanah, will include a new floor and ceiling, a new expanded kitchen, new offices, three new classrooms and new bathroom facilities, according to congregation president David Kimel. The money to fund this work has already been raised, Kimel said.

The project is the first part of what was originally announced during Yom Kippur services in September, 2009, as a $4.5 million, two-stage synagogue renovation. The estimated cost of the social hall building renovation, according to that original 2009 announcement by congregation vice president Jay Bakaler, was $2 million. Earlier that month, Rebbetzin Chani Zarchi had said the congregation hoped to begin work perhaps as early as March of 2010 to take advantage of a 30 percent decline in construction costs attributable to the general economic downturn.

The other stage of the congregation’s plan calls for renovation and partial reconfiguration of Chevra Thilim’s large sanctuary, work which in 2009 was estimated to cost $2.5 million. Kimel today said there is currently no start date scheduled for that phase of the project. He said plans to move a synagogue wall and add a costly enclosed entrance lobby and large bay windows will probably be dropped. The sanctuary renovation was originally announced as the first stage of the project, but the sequence has since been reversed.

(Disclosure: I live near Congregation Chevra Thilim and often attend religious services and other events there.)

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Zen Meditation And Alexander Technique

In an interview with Robert Rickover, Alexander Technique teacher Michael Ostrow says: “Both Zen and Alexander are difficult to pin down.”

“Alexander Technique is a way to free oneself from habitual ways of reacting, thinking and behaving that we don’t always notice. This happens at every level – physical, emotional and spiritual.”

“Zen helps you to experience reality directly, as it is happening in the moment. Zen helps you to become alert to what’s happening rather than to your concepts about what’s happening.”

Robert: “That sounds similar to the Alexander Technique.”

Michael: “Zen is difficult for westerners to get a handle on. That’s what led me to study the Alexander Technique.”

Robert: “The Alexander Technique came out of F.M. Alexander’s practical voice issue. If someone told him that his Technique was a Western Zen, he would’ve been bemused.”

Michael: “What he had heard of Eastern methods like yoga he didn’t like. He thought yoga was the attempt to control directly all the processes of the body such as the heart beat.”

“When I tried to do tai chi or yoga before I studied the Technique, I just hurt myself. The Technique isn’t about a specific movement. It’s about what you do before you do anything else.”

“Some people naturally do well with tai chi and yoga and they may not understand why other people get stiff and messed up.”

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What If We Had A Predator In LA’s Orthodox Community?

You’ve heard about the “former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky, who was arrested over the weekend on more than 40 counts of child sexual abuse.”

What if we had a Jerry Sandusky-type in LA’s Orthodox community? Could we have a powerful man who’s able to isolate teen boys, ply them with alcohol, molest them, and then have the rabbis orchestrate a cover-up for the good of the community?

Could an Orthodox pulpit rabbi settle multiple sexual harassment lawsuits and retain his pulpit? Certainly. Could he get arrested for soliciting prostitutes?

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Are You Engaged In Highly Active Marital Activity?

I just got some “Healer’s Tea.” Seems like the thing to drink after delivering a hearty session of Alexander Technique.

According to here:

A formula used to quickly replenish spent Jing. This great formula replenishes Yin essence and body fluids. It has a powerful anti-aging and regenerative quality. It has traditionally been used by those in the healing arts to replenish the energy given up in the process of their work, especially by body-workers. Also known as Honeymooner’s Tea, it was used by those engaged in highly active marital activity to quickly replenish fluids and marital energy. This formula has an excellent effect on the skin and lungs.

Ingredients — Purified Alkaline Water, Dendrobium, Lycium, Schizandra, Licorice Root, Great Salt Lake trace minerals, potassium glycerophosphate (an excellent source of potassium), Guilin Sweetfruit.

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Jim Romenesko – Man Who Outed Plagiarists Outed As A Plagiarist

This story is not complicated. Jim Romenesko, the famed media blogger, has for some time been using other people’s words as his own without putting them in quotes and directly attributing them. This is plagiarism. Yet the media is rallying to his defense because he’s been so famous and powerful.

They beat up on Julie Moos, his editor who brought it to everyone’s attention, as schoolmarmish. Well, when you enforce a code, or simply admit that there is a code, then you’re going to get called a schoolmarm or square or a goody-goody or some other unthinking epithet. People who stand for something always get tarred with these labels. If it is more important to you to be good rather than to be popular, you will choose to do the right thing and live with people calling you names and dismissing you as overly-preoccupied with ethics.

CJR nails it: The most frustrating thing about the Jim Romenesko affair is the way that so many people who should know better are insisting that there is no Jim Romenesko affair.

Romenesko, the seminal media blogger, resigned from the Poynter Institute last night after his boss, Julie Moos, published an article detailing his occasional failure to indicate that the language he was using to summarize the stories he linked to was, in fact, taken verbatim from the stories themselves. (Moos’s post was prompted by an e-mail from CJR’s Erika Fry, who was requesting an interview for a forthcoming story about the Romenesko+ blog.)

The article made a lot of people very angry—primarily at Julie Moos, a woman whom nobody knows, for having the gall to publicly criticize Jim Romenesko, who is famous. And while much of the rancor seemed directed at Moos’s tone and timing, plenty of people seemed certain that there was nothing to complain about at all.

D. emails Luke: A “blogger … using other people’s words as his own without putting them in quotes and directly attributing them. This is plagiarism.” Sounds an awful lot like somebody we both know, Sunny Jim, so if I were you — and I thank the good Lord every day that I’m not while I curse the fates that I sired you — I’d take care about riding the high horse. “But … but … but … it’s fair-dinkum fair use, dad!” I’m sure you’ll squeak. Or, “It was all just a copyright violation,” you’ll plead. It’s bloody plagiarism, you churl! You’re as guilty of this as the “blogger” fellow you castigate. From what I’ve seen, you bloody sinker, ALL of you so-called bloggers are parasites, thieves and weak-minded layabouts parroting the work of other, better men and women. How I wish you were standing in front of me right now. When I finished with you, no amount of Alexander Technique could ever put you back together, mate. You should be fair-dinkum ashamed. I know I am.

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Hard Luck Stories

I just heard a caller to the Dennis Prager show complaining that he can’t afford the $600 a month for Kaiser health insurance so he has to go without.

He said he worked about 20 hours a week as a landscape helper and that he feared his knee would go out again and he’d need an MRI and would not be able to get one.

I want to know what life choices that guy made that put him in such a bad position.

I’m in a bad position too. I have $1700 in the bank. I have $45,000 in credit card debt. I’m going backward financially by more than a thousand dollars a month.

So I keep borrowing from my friends and family. And I’m launching my Alexander Technique practice. But the real reason I am in this financial fix is because of my bad character.

Over the course of my life, I many times chose to not listen to good people around me. Instead, I chose to rebel and to self-destruct. I chose in school to not take a lot of classes seriously. I chose to not do my homework. I chose to not go along with social norms on hundreds of occasions leading to social isolation which is another word for death.

If you socially isolate yourself, you’re putting yourself in poverty and desperation and you are making your hold on life tenuous.

I made many bad choices in my life and these choices put me where I am today. My consistently most damaging choices have been those that have severed my connections with the good people around me.

So now I’m in pyscho-therapy and I’m working the 12 Steps for my many emotional addictions and I’m practicing Orthodox Judaism and I’m re-evaluating many of my instinctual anti-social reactions and I am trying to let go those that don’t serve me.

I don’t think that everybody who’s in a desperate circumstance is 100% responsible for that position. I think that most people in America who can’t afford health insurance are responsible for putting themselves in such a position. I think most poor people do not work as hard as rich people. I think they watch a lot more TV instead. I think most homeless people abused drugs or alcohol. I think most people on welfare made decisions that put them in a pathetic position and that if they had made more responsible decisions, they would not suck so much on the public teat.

D. emails: You’ll find on these pages, the turgid musings of my fair-dinkum wastrel of a son whingeing about the poor choices he’s made in life. As you can see, his latest scheme to avoid work involves begging money from his family and an attempt to teach a brand of quackery called Alexander Technique. If you ask me, his dear old dad, the boy’s off his mental tucker. Just look at the little poofter with his hands all over other blokes. Look at this photo of my lad — the one I raised better — gazing lovingly as some drongo cracks a fat and my boy prepares to move in. It’s bloody disgusting — although no big surprise to me. Would that I were there to correct him with a couple of sharp raps with the cricket bat I use for bursting cane toads. Well, the rent’s coming due soon. I suppose I’ll either have to dole out more cash to keep a roof over the lad’s head … or he’ll have to step up the number of men he orally copulates. And don’t think for a moment my boy will turn down cash from his old dad. He derides people who are on the dole in these hard times, but has no trouble expecting friends and family to help him out with his finances. Bloody little ponce.

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Alexander Technique After Dark

My new Alexander website.

I kick it with Joey Kurtzman.

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My New Digs

The power and the glory:

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