Luke Ford

Let’s parse the reasons: 1. They make the best food.
Chaim Amalek writes: But what should he do if no good Jewish girls are willing to marry him?
Let’s parse the reasons: 1. They make the best food.
Not so! Maybe the best kosher food, what what about Italian women?
2. You will never need to make a decision again.
Not a reason to marry a Jewess.
3. Jewish wives are incredibly devoted to their husbands.

That’s right, you’re her constant number one… which she’s happy to prove, by calling to “check in” 300 times a day. She’ll always champion your cause and she’ll always be right there supporting you in whatever you need.

She excels at social networking, and you are cast in a glowing light because of her. Hey, every good Patriarch was married to a great Matriarch.
4. She’s ambitious for you.

She truly cares about your happiness and overall success. So, you won’t face nagging when you come home late from a business dinner (but I can’t promise you won’t be guilt-tripped; she IS a Jewish wife after all.)

She’s always on her best behavior at company events, to ensure you get the recognition you deserve and achieve your full potential.

Honestly, if Moses had just sent his wife, she would have charmed Pharaoh into giving the Jews freedom wayyy earlier. #letherpeoplego
5. She keeps herself in shape.

Much like the 10 Commandments, she treats trips to the gym, spa and hairdresser as things to simply live by. Unfortunately, you may get fatter and balder with age and her cooking, but she appears to age backwards.

With every Jewish couple I know, the question is generally, “How did he get her?”

Her body is as hairless as you are hairy. What we lack in naturally skinny thighs, we make up for in effort and abusing your Amex to physically enhance ourselves.
6. She knows having sex is a Mitzvah.

Yes. On EVERY Shabbat and some festivals too.

She’s also turned on by a man who can lay Tefillin and say Kiddush, so brush up.
7. Her Jew-dar is spot on.

Yes, you may be better at the stock market than she is (Bull and bear what?), but can you tell by one quick glance under your oversized sunglasses, which family sunbathing by the pool is Jewish?

Because she can, and she’ll ensure you’re drinking Manischewitz with the new Jews before you’ve even noticed his oversized Chai necklace. L’Chaim!

If it weren’t for her, you would have literally no friends. Know that if you get divorced (God forbid), they all side with her.
8. She will idolize your sons for you.

In the same way as your mom made it abundantly clear you were attractive, smart and adorable, your wife will be sure to pour as much love and devotion onto your sons. And daughters, but really, it’s the sons she’ll be telling are too good for every woman who comes their way.
9. She gets your humor.

And not many people do, so you should really be grateful that she laughs at your jokes, despite having heard them a hundred times, and understands all your cultural references.

Baruch Hashem, such is the beauty of marrying within the tribe.

Jews usually hate this type of talk in public because it makes them a bigger target, the same way that when the Dallas Cowboys became known as “America’s team” in 1978, it made them a bigger target for rival teams.

It’s useful to think of the Jews as America’s team. They are the most successful and influential group in America. While we all belong to various teams, resources are scarce and so the more successful teams get more of the good things in life while other teams, such as WASPs, fall behind.

Asians, like Jews, tend to hate public talk about their group having an above average IQ and disproportionate success, income and influence for their numbers.

I enjoy it when obvious parts of reality that are normally hushed up are suddenly thrust into the open.

If academic Kevin MacDonald had simply concluded that Jewish influence and success was a wonderful thing, he would be enjoying an easier life today.

In my Jewish brain, I’m thinking: “That Biden talk was very bad for the Jews. He praises Yidden for the new openness regarding both our national borders and various sphincters.
Open borders — open to gay sex — civil rights — thank the Jews. Hamas’ pronouncements regarding the Jews are better for us than what Biden had to say. Like lecturing the Poles how Jews helped bring about the glorious communist future in 1950 Poland. This is why you have been tasked with developing a Jewish Bund to support the White Race in America and Europe. Teach the goyim to emulate Jewish tribalism. Your Jewish burden. Your cross to bear. Other men must deal with wives, you must deal with this. You were meant to be a leader of the white race, it is in your genes. From your dad.”

From the Weekly Standard:

At a Jewish American Heritage Month reception last night in Washington, D.C., Vice President Joe Biden talked about Jews, power, and influence.

“The truth is that Jewish heritage, Jewish culture, Jewish values are such an essential part of who we are that it’s fair to say that Jewish heritage is American heritage,” Biden said, according to the pool report. “The Jewish people have contributed greatly to America. No group has had such an outsized influence per capita as all of you standing before you and all of those who went before me and all of those who went before you.”

“You make up 11 percent of the seats in the United States Congress. You make up one-third of all Nobel laureates,” he said. “So many notions that are embraced by this nation that particularly emanate from over 5000 years of Jewish history, tradition and culture: independence, individualism, fairness, decency, justice, charity. These are all as you say, as I learned early on as a Catholic being educated by my friends, this tzedakah.”

“The embrace of immigration” is part of that, as is the involvement of Jews in social justice movements.

“You can’t talk about the civil rights movement in this country without talking about Jewish freedom riders and Jack Greenberg,” he said, telling a story about seeing a group of Jewish activists at a segregated movie theater in Delaware. “You can’t talk about the women’s movement without talking about Betty Friedan” or American advances in science and technology without mentioning Einstein and Carl Sagan, or music and Gershwin, Bob Dylan and “so, so, so many other people.”

“I believe what affects the movements in America, what affects our attitudes in America are as much the culture and the arts as anything else,” he said. That’s why he spoke out on gay marriage “apparently a little ahead of time.”

“It wasn’t anything we legislatively did. It was ‘Will and Grace,’ it was the social media. Literally. That’s what changed peoples’ attitudes. That’s why I was so certain that the vast majority of people would embrace and rapidly embrace” gay marriage.

“Think behind of all that, I bet you 85 percent of those changes, whether it’s in Hollywood or social media are a consequence of Jewish leaders in the industry. The influence is immense, the influence is immense. And, I might add, it is all to the good,” he said.