I’m Singing ‘Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport’ On My Live Cam

Click here to join Holly Randall in my chat room:

guest213:  holly randall is lesbian
guest210:  who gave you that shirt?
YHWH:  luke what sort of trauma has holly randall experienced
YHWH:  only you would know
susie:  i agree with you ElShaddai
guest6677:  xpt psychology session
Emma:  -humming-
guest218:  uh hello is this thing on?
User guest218 left the room.
YourMoralLeader:  http://www.lukeford.net/archives/updates/080320.htm
ElShaddai:  yes we hear you
YourMoralLeader:  my workoout video
Emma:  lol the funky music
guest213:  luke why not move to israel?
User HollyRandall (66.214.93.11) entered the room.
ElShaddai:  I wish all webcams could be like Lukes webcam. It’s filled with love understanding and truth
HollyRandall:  i didn’t realize clicking on this link automatically logs me in
YHWH:  what kind of credentials do you have to show in Israel
User Emma left the room.
ElShaddai:  its really her
ElShaddai:  will they allow you to bring your camz to Israel?
guest221:  its the scammer
YHWH:  some of those israeli sluts are awesome
ElShaddai:  then go forth my son
HollyRandall:  were you singing to me?
HollyRandall:  i don’t have the volume on
guest221:  what happened to lukeford.com    i wonder
YHWH:  a nebbish like you shouldn’t have a hard time find ing a bossy jewish wife to take over your life
YHWH:  sing it out loud luke!
YHWH:  sing from the heart
YHWH:  sing from the diaphragm
HollyRandall:  ok now i know why i don’t have the volume on– that music sounds terrible
HollyRandall:  turning it back off
ElShaddai:  his landlord will think hes got kids in there again
guest213:  he have this song in repeat
YourMoralLeader:  how’s your love life holly? How can I help? Tell me where it hurts
User guest222 left the room.
HollyRandall:  it’s good
HollyRandall:  i had a date with a nice Jewish boy last night
YHWH:  nice
HollyRandall:  we talked about God, marriage, kids, and death all on the first date
HollyRandall:  hahaha
YHWH:  luke you’re a romantic
YHWH:  that’s what every girl wants to hear, conversion
YHWH:  speak up burg
YHWH:  don’t be reticent
User blackbreafs left the room.
YourMoralLeader:  where r u and God these days holy?
YHWH:  tie me moral leader down
ElShaddai:  hahaha at YHWH
HollyRandall:  we’re in talks 😉
HollyRandall:  i’m working on my spirituality
User guest213 changed their name to JesusChrist.
HollyRandall:  i wouldn’t say i’m religious by any means
JesusChrist:  hi luke i am your father
JesusChrist:  come with my to my salvation kingdome
BurgandhisBurgness:  That is Darth´s line.
ElShaddai:  hush Son
JesusChrist:  kingdome
JesusChrist:  kingdong
YHWH:  holly isnt  you mother jewish
YHWH:  i’d swear she was
User guest223 changed their name to JimBXPT.
HollyRandall:  um, no
HollyRandall:  nobody in my family is Jewish
BurgandhisBurgness:  Holly, were you ever asked to piss in Luke´s mouth?
JesusChrist:  Holly are you baptist?
YourMoralLeader:  how many jews have you seduced holly?
HollyRandall:  nah he wasn’t that adventurous
JesusChrist:  lutheran?
HollyRandall:  i don’t know Luke– I never ask someone what their religious denomination is before i take their pants off
JesusChrist:  mormon?
ElShaddai:  can you play Waltzing Matilda next?
YourMoralLeader:  watch your language guys or i’ll have to ban you even if I love you
HollyRandall:  i don’t know exactly what religion my mom was raised in– i don’t think she was raised very religiously
JesusChrist:  who had  bad language?
ElShaddai:  having them drop trou might be a quick way to check Holly
HollyRandall:  hahaha
HollyRandall:  everyone is circumsized these days, so i don’t think that method works
JesusChrist:  euro studs no
User guest224 left the room.
JimBXPT:  Drinking Urine? The beard? For the love of Christ, SOMEBODY confiscate his weapon before he hurts himself!!!!

JesusChrist:  Holly are you baptist?
YourMoralLeader:  how many jews have you seduced holly?
HollyRandall:  nah he wasn’t that adventurous
JesusChrist:  lutheran?
HollyRandall:  i don’t know Luke– I never ask someone what their religious denomination is before i take their pants off
JesusChrist:  mormon?
ElShaddai:  can you play Waltzing Matilda next?
YourMoralLeader:  watch your language guys or i’ll have to ban you even if I love you
HollyRandall:  i don’t know exactly what religion my mom was raised in– i don’t think she was raised very religiously
JesusChrist:  who had  bad language?
ElShaddai:  having them drop trou might be a quick way to check Holly
HollyRandall:  everyone is circumsized these days, so i don’t think that method works
JesusChrist:  euro studs no
ElShaddai:  show us your digeridoo luke
JohnRittersWidow:  how about a few chorus’ of Waltzing Matilda
JohnRittersWidow:  you can march around the room while you sing it
ElShaddai:  A Better World thru Australian Singalongs
RussianDragon:  rolf harris jeez
RussianDragon:  he terrorized me on brittish tv in my youth
YourMoralLeader:  Holly, I wanna redecorate the hovel to look like Studio 54
JohnRittersWidow:   Studio 54….hahahaaaaa The Hovel is smaller than stidio 54’s restroom
HollyRandall:  hot pink would suit you i think
RussianDragon:  HOLLY FOR PRESIDENT
User guest228 left the room.
User JohnRittersWidow left the room.
JesusChrist:  LOLLLLLL!!!!
Hello:  straighten up you books
JesusChrist:  luke what are you doing now? no work?
RussianDragon:  yes your books are falling
guest227:  he is shaming us all
guest221:  hes trying to find out who i am
JesusChrist:  did god dont punish lazy people?
guest227:  blasphemy
guest6677:  he’s providing us with moral leadership
guest227:  dusgrace
guest221:  i dought that
JesusChrist:  waht is yor monthly income now?
YourMoralLeader:  $1200
guest221:  0
guest227:  what about his poor mother?
guest227:  ay yay yay
guest240:  Your a heart wrenching case, Luke
RussianDragon:  i’m getting hunry seeing hilm eat
guest240:  Obviously Judaism has a much richer heritage and culture than Adventism
guest240:  I defied Sister White and bought Bear Stearns. It jumped 90%  today
guest240:  Should I follow Jesus teaching on fiscal responsibility or Sr. White on avoid the stock market? She did say to avoid speculation, didn’t she?
YourMoralLeader:  240, follow the Torah and choose life!
Emma:  I will be putting it up this week sometime Luke..I shall let you know.
guest240:  So was earning 90%  today a sin?
YourMoralLeader:  awesome
YourMoralLeader:  no, it was a blessing from HaShem
YourMoralLeader:  G-d wants you to be rich!
guest240:  Well, Abraham refused to accept the booty from the kings because he wanted it known that his success came from HaShem
guest240:  Do you prefer poverty to a questionable source of income?
guest240:  Rather be a doorkeeper in the house of Hashem than to dwell in the tents of wickedness?
guest240:  Would you consider a former Adventist, Asian, who converted to Judaism, as a wife?
DiscoDuck:  what did you do for purim?
YourMoralLeader:  the usual
YourMoralLeader:  prayer,  food
janice:  hahahahahahahah
janice:  hahahahahahahah
DiscoDuck:  besides getting drunk and waking up next to a young asian boy
janice:  hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
janice:  hahahahahaq
YourMoralLeader:  he was 18
DiscoDuck:  sex?! who was the lucky guy?
janice:  holy moly
DiscoDuck:  at least you wore lamb skin
janice:  bye mr. dragon
YourMoralLeader:  disco, i was doing kiruv
DiscoDuck:  did you dress up aside from your regular wst holyhood outfit?!
YourMoralLeader:  didnt dress up , my choices were too radical — G-d or spitzer
guest240:  Women that I love seem to die unexpectedly
DiscoDuck:  you know what gets me about purim?
guest240:  There was Carol, in Belize
DiscoDuck:  people spend so much on friends with the misloach manos
DiscoDuck:  but they won’t give tot he poor
guest240:  There was Joyce, in Redondo Beach
guest240:  There was Leng Yue in Zhengzhou
guest264:  you that bad a mate 240 that they all preferred death?
janice:  do you kill them 240?
DiscoDuck:  I hate sounding judgemental but poeple are so phony when it comes to mitzvahs at times
guest240:  That’s only three
guest240:  Carol, I expected her to healed by Jesus
janice:  eheheeheh @ 264
guest240:  I travelled across Mexico, expecting to find her rejoicing in Jesus, but she was dead when I got there
guest240:  Shipping her body back to the USA was problematic
YourMoralLeader:  I hate that
YourMoralLeader:  so awkward
guest240:  Corpses don’t travel easily across international boundaries
DiscoDuck:  he’s an ex con mate
DiscoDuck:  look at the pin stripped shirt
guest240:  She won’t be zaftig, unless you get especially lucky
DiscoDuck:  damn scientologists keep sending stuff to my house

SloppyJoe:  The apple does not fall far from the tree
Taylor:   just read your wiki  bit
YourMoralLeader:  is everybody working for the weekend?
Taylor:   some roll way down the hill
SloppyJoe:  Only the ones with worms penetrating them
User guest287 left the room.
SloppyJoe:  What is that horrible music?
SloppyJoe:  Play some Peter Paul and Mary
janice:  i found luke and redemption
SloppyJoe:  Did everyone have a nice Easter?
Taylor:   luke you wanta take my plane and go see janice?
Taylor:   she’s great fun
guest289:  you f**king queer
guest289:  die of aids jew boy
YourMoralLeader:  ya got a plane?
SloppyJoe:  Luke, do a chaver a favor.  If you won’t take up that offer, I will go in your place
guest289:  your jew beard has aids
YourMoralLeader:  I’ll go!
guest289:  like your parents did on their way to the oven
born2lead:  i’m not sure why he referenced the Torah
Taylor:      janice and I ususally go out on thursdays and discuss the torah and have dinner
SloppyJoe:  If you let me go in your staid, I will say a good word about you to the assembled at Zabars
Handful:  You ever coming back to XPT? You are missed
YourMoralLeader:  no
SloppyJoe:  Are you making the money a Jew needs to make to be a Jew?
ChaimAmalek:  Remember, God does not want the chosen few to be poor
janice:  i do have to say that i am happy luke is here
Taylor:       as we all are janice
janice:  i cannot stop smiling!
Taylor:   he’s great isnt he?
janice:  i cannot leave this site
User guest289 changed their name to Nigger.
Nigger:  dumb jew bought one song from itunes
ChaimAmalek:  I make this man the success he is today
Emma:  Well i’m off…just thought id stop by and say I liked your autobiography Luke
Emma:  Bye bye again!
Emma:  hehe
Taylor:   maybe 94 at best
ChaimAmalek:  94?
YourMoralLeader:  thanks
Taylor:   yes 96 was a bad year for AOL
ChaimAmalek:  Luke, should I switch to Prodigy?
User Emma left the room.
Taylor:   lol
ChaimAmalek:  Compuserve costs too much
Taylor:    what year you in now Chaim?
ChaimAmalek:  And my 8086 isn’t fast enough for AOL
ChaimAmalek:  I go all the way back to line editors on the internet
Taylor:     i just put in another 4 mb of memory
ChaimAmalek:  Delphi.
ChaimAmalek:  4MEG?  That’s one long paper tape!
Taylor:   where will it all end
ChaimAmalek:  Holerith cards
ChaimAmalek:  80 characters each card
Taylor:      unbelievable
Taylor:   I just cant keep up

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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