Category Archives: Personal

Flinging Manure

One of my earliest memories of my father finding me at age five flinging manure at other kids and screaming, “I hate you! I hate you!” I’m rarely out of control, but I can get pretty thin-skinned about teasing. I … Continue reading

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What’s The Orthodox Way Of Eating A Bread Roll?

I was accused on Shabbos of eating my bread roll like a baal teshuva (instead of an FFB, Frum From Birth, aka Orthodox from birth) because I put the humus on my roll instead of tearing my roll up and … Continue reading

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I Wish You Were Here

Dear *********, I wish you were here. I’m more assertive these days, more clear. Perhaps one day I’ll be worthy of you. My friend picked me up. I gave him clear instructions to not be late. If he was going … Continue reading

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A Question To The Cantor

I was at my Reform temple circa 1995. I was sitting with my friends. The cantor opened up for questions. I asked why there’s so much chazzanos at temple when most people would prefer congregational singing? The cantor took offense. … Continue reading

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The Primo Girls

I’ve known a lot of primo girls over the course of my life but I’ve never tried to date anyone over 7.5 on the hotness scale. The primo girls? They seem too fast. There’s too much competition. I won’t measure … Continue reading

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Who Do I Resent?

The Fourth Step of the 12-steps is to “make a complete and fearless moral inventory.” A key part of this step is to list everybody and everything you resent and then look at each item on your list and see … Continue reading

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Where Attention Goes, Energy Flows

Where passion leads, eloquence follows. I’m doing a lot of public speaking these days, not just in shul, but in 12-step meetings. When I stand, I pause before I deliver, making sure I’m coming from my highest purpose. Not my … Continue reading

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A Dangerous Part Of Town

Ten days before the fatal stabbing on Robertson and 18th, I sat in a home nearby and wrote: I’m in a dangerous part of town. Goy town. Rabid dogs all around off their leash. Why should their owners give a … Continue reading

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A Mirroring Fast?

I wonder how many hours I could go without seeking mirroring? Am I capable of a mirroring fast? Please let me know what you think. I’m a bit attention whore. I don’t have a solid sense of self. I keep … Continue reading

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The Watering Pot

“What did you do with my watering pot?” asked his neighbor. “I let you borrow it to put your flowers in and then you left it in the common room and now it’s gone. That was my favorite watering pot … Continue reading

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