Where passion leads, eloquence follows.
I’m doing a lot of public speaking these days, not just in shul, but in 12-step meetings.
When I stand, I pause before I deliver, making sure I’m coming from my highest purpose. Not my will, but thy will be done.
Public speaking is scary. It’s easy to reveal your flaws and hypocrisies. None of us see ourselves with complete accuracy.
I’m passionate about 12-step work and I’m passionate about Judaism, but my performance of each is so flawed and incomplete. How glaring are those flaws? Does everyone see them? Do I magnify them when I speak?
I’m supposed to inspire but Lurid Luke only feels comfortable sharing about what life was like for him and how things have improved. Your mileage may vary.
I notice myself altering my behavior in private to comport with the things I say publicly. All changes for the good.
I notice myself wanting to say things in public and therefore forcing myself to live them first. I can’t trust my own will. That’s what got me into so much trouble. Not my will, but thy will be done.
Again and again, I must stand and deliver. Each one is a gut check. Each one is a test of my commitment. Do my words match my deeds and vice versa? I don’t want to assume any poses.
Where do I go from here?
