Category Archives: Personal

My Wishes For The New Month

I always do what my teachers tell me and what my rabbis tell me and now I do what my gurus tell me. If their teachings clash, I’ll leave it to God to sort it out. He made me the … Continue reading

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Breaking News Bulletin: I’m Depressed

I think my therapist Dr. Spielvogel (who has a psycho-dynamic orientation) made that diagnosis today. I think he said that I’ve always been depressed and that I currently use yoga, Alexander Technique and Orthodox Judaism to defend against my depression … Continue reading

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What Is Inclusive Humor?

D. emails: "Inclusive humor is this, Sunny Jim: I smash you in the noggin with a cricket bat, thus "including" you in my little prank and the rest of the rest of the world and I have a fair-dinkum hearty … Continue reading

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The Guru Hugged Me

In class tonight, the Guru asks: "Do any of you have a goal?" We all raise our hands. "Do any of you want to attain your goal without effort?" Most of us keep our hands up. The Guru then explains … Continue reading

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My Shabbos Morning Nightmare

Just before I woke up this morning, I was having a pleasant dream that I was at graduate school at UCLA studying Philosophy. I was doing my thesis on Dennis Prager, an unconventional choice. I felt happy and fulfilled. I … Continue reading

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In My Therapist’s Office, There Are Many Naughty Magazines

The most alluring of them is "The Writer’s Chronicle." It’s filled with ads for various MFA programs and writing scholarships. I’m going to apply for some of the MFA programs that waive tuition and grant stipends to their students. I … Continue reading

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Psychotic Break

"When I was teaching this set this morning," says the Guru, "somebody had a psychotic break. "People were getting very angry over this set. So as we do the exercises and you feel enraged, go with it. It’s normal." "At … Continue reading

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The Sickest Feeling

The sickest feeling is when you are talking to a woman and you suddenly realize that she hates talking to you, she fears talking to you, she is only talking to you to be polite, so it won’t be awkward … Continue reading

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I Got My Kundalini Yoga Name

It’s quite an elaborate process. I had to write an essay on the spiritual qualities most important to me. I had to provide my exact time and date of birth. And then the Guru meditated on the matter for several … Continue reading

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The Thing I Love Best About Orthodox Judaism Is How Its Makes You Feel

If you are a normal human being who adopts Orthodox Judaism, you’ll soon feel better about yourself. Practice Orthodox Judaism and you’ll walk around with a swagger. You’ll know who you are. You’ll never proclaim you’re a proud Jew. You’ll … Continue reading

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