Category Archives: Personal

Crying To The Rabbi

A lot of Jews in Pico-Robertson and around the world go crying to the rabbi that I’ve written something that has upset them. Mate, just because you can work yourself into tears while complaining about me is no evidence that … Continue reading

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I Want To Learn How To Tell My Story

I saw a flyer yesterday for a ten-week workshop for low-income men and women to tell their stories. These poor buggers would learn about writing it up and delivering it in public. I thought this could help me overcome my … Continue reading

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A Miracle Of Grace

I emailed my Christian mother Sunday: "I finished my Orthodox conversion today [with the Los Angeles Beit Din]…more than 16yrs after finishing my conversion with a Reform rabbi…" She responded: "It’s a miracle of grace." Joe emails: "Welcome to the … Continue reading

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My Next Challenge – Making People Feel Safe

A friend says: "I think the banning is more because they want members to feel safe. It’s not that they think you are a physical threat but people are worried what you might write about them. It’s something for you … Continue reading

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President Obama Needs A Morality Czar

When I think of the awful wickedness affecting the body politic, I realize that I must accept the president’s call to service: Joe emails: Hey, luke, you don’t read ancient hebrew script? You have the photo reversed!

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My Bearded Buddy

Every day I look more and more like Khalid Sheik Mohammed. My live cam in Gitmo Pico-Robertson where I’m serving a sentence for love crimes. Khunrum emails: “It doesn’t seem that long ago when Luke took pride in his appearance. … Continue reading

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Would You Like To Shake My Lulav?

When I came to Los Angeles in 1994, I was hosted several times for Shabbat and holiday meals by a nice Orthodox family in Pico-Robertson. Then, due to the raunchy nature of my blogging, the invites ceased. In the summer … Continue reading

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Lustful Thoughts Are A Sin

I got some very bad news this afternoon. I was lying on my bed of nails listening to Torah talks by Rabbi Ari Kahn. In his second lecture on Rosh Hashanah, he says that lustful thoughts are a sin. Most … Continue reading

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Respect!

Hot Shiksa calls. I squeal: "You poked me on Facebook! This is a whole new direction for our relationship. We’re finally making our feelings concrete. It’s not just words. Now it’s down to poking. We’re making things holy." Hot Shiksa: … Continue reading

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Girls Don’t Dig Sarcasm

I was being sarcastic about gays today to this hot shiksa and she warned me that if I didn’t cut it out, I would "lose my conversation privileges."

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