For a few years in the early 2000s, Los Angeles had a blogging scene small enough that everybody in it knew everybody else. People met at parties in Silver Lake and on the Westside. Newspaper writers read the blogs and then drank with the bloggers. A link turned into an introduction, an introduction into a friendship, a blogroll into a social life. The cost of entry was nearly zero.
One of the women in that world called herself Moxie.
Her site, moxie.nu, went up in October 2000. She wrote about dating, men, work, Los Angeles, politics, friendship and herself. By 2002 she was moving through the same rooms as Cathy Seipp (1957-2007), Amy Alkon, Tony Pierce, Marc Weisblott, Matt Welch and the people orbiting the Los Angeles Press Club.
I went looking for her today and found that the trail stops in the summer of 2007. I suspect Marc knows what happened.
Moxie had a second public name. In November 2002, The Jewish Journal published “The Matchmakers” under the byline Madison Slade. The contributor note called the author “Madison ‘Moxie’ Slade,” described her as a Los Angeles freelance writer, and pointed readers to her website. Other bloggers of the period used the same construction, calling her Madison Slade, aka Moxie.
That is her own byline, published by her, linked by her to her own blog. When I profiled her in 2003, I noted that Moxie was not her real name, and Madison Slade may have been a professional name standing between her private identity and her Internet persona. There are a good number of women named Madison Slade alive today. I have no evidence connecting any of them to her.
I met her through the Canadian writer Marc Weisblott, who visited Los Angeles in 2002. In May 2003, I interviewed Moxie over lunch.
She told me she grew up on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. Her father was a CEO. She graduated from Cornell with a double major in biochemistry and marketing. She spent five years in high tech in San Francisco and five more in Los Angeles, making six figures before the dot-com crash. Then she lost the job.
“I needed a structured way to write every day,” she said.
So in October 2000 she started moxie.nu. She had kept a diary as a girl. The blog turned a private habit into a public one. By 2003 she claimed an Alexa ranking around 90,000, which sounds like nothing and at the time meant something. The traffic mattered less than what the traffic brought her. A party Brian Linse gave in July 2002 changed her life. She met Tony Pierce there, and Pierce introduced her to everyone else. A woman who had been sitting alone at a keyboard writing about her own week acquired a circle of friends who could be met for lunch.
I asked how her life might have gone without the site.
“I’d have an entirely different group of friends,” she said. “I’d probably never write.”
The early Los Angeles blogosphere was porous. The walls between amateurs and professionals had not gone up. Kevin Roderick’s LA Observed linked bloggers next to news organizations. Blogging.la gathered writers including Xeni Jardin (b. 1970), Wil Wheaton (b. 1972) and Moxie. People broke small stories, argued with each other in comments, and then met for drinks in Hollywood. This was before Facebook absorbed personal networking, before Twitter turned everyone into a broadcaster, and before online writing became a job category called content. A blog was a thing a person decided to make.
Cathy Seipp sat at the center of one cluster of it. Cathy and Amy Alkon kept alive the old tradition of Los Angeles writers meeting in person. Matt Welch has described being pulled into their monthly dinners, where bloggers, magazine writers, newspaper people and various media eccentrics mixed.
Moxie became one of Cathy’s friends. You can see it in the small stuff. In a 2006 LAist interview with Cathy, Cathy said the television critics tour had been more fun because Moxie and Emmanuelle Richard drove her there for much of it.
Cathy Seipp died of lung cancer on March 21, 2007.
Amy Alkon’s account of Cathy’s final days puts Moxie at Cedars-Sinai near the end, sitting beside the bed, stroking Cathy’s hair, asking Amy to read aloud a tribute Mark Steyn (b. 1959) had written. Moxie was at the funeral two days later. I wrote about the funeral, which pulled in a good part of the Los Angeles media world. On June 10 a smaller group gathered at the television writer Rob Long’s house for Cathy’s closest writer friends. Moxie was there too, and I wrote about that gathering.
If Cathy’s death drove Moxie off the Internet, it did not do so at once. That summer she pushed further in. She started an Internet radio program called MoxVox on a service called NowLive, and Tony Pierce joined her on it. On August 15, 2007, LAist invited readers to listen to Tony and “LA blogger Moxie” going out live, with a call-in line and a chatroom. That sounds like nothing now. In 2007 she was building, without a name for it yet, the thing that became podcasting and livestreaming and the personality economy.
On August 30, Ann Althouse (b. 1951) appeared on MoxVox. Althouse’s contemporaneous blog archive records the appearance, and Moxie came into the comments afterward to defend the joke in her own masthead. So she was online, in public, arguing about a slogan, on the night of August 30, 2007.
Then the record stops.
There is no obituary. No scandal, no announced retirement, no falling-out with the circle, no illness. I searched 2008 through 2012 for combinations of Moxie, moxie.nu, MoxVox, Seipp, Alkon, Pierce, Roderick and the Press Club, and found recycled references to the old blog and no new appearances by her. Searching Madison Slade produces the same silence. In March 2008 OC Weekly published “A Year Without Cathy Seipp” and mentioned Cathy’s pal Moxie in passing, which tells us she was still a familiar person to that crowd and does not tell us she was still writing. Later references are memory rather than contact.
On the written blog, the last handle I have is a July 17, 2007 link from Brady Westwater to a post at moxie.nu. I searched for the ten post numbers that would have followed it and found none indexed. Search engines drop old pages, so this proves little, though it points the same direction as everything else. A site at caib.us holds a chunk of the old moxie.nu database, mostly 2004 and 2005, including a post about moving four years of material to a new server and a piece about her cat Nika going with her to Cornell. That looks like a scraped or repurposed copy of her archive. The remaining route is the Internet Archive, whose 2007 capture calendar for the domain.
Going back to my 2003 interview, the ending looks less strange than it did.
She was already counting the cost. Men she dated disliked becoming material. Some of them did not know about the site at all. She had started leaving her relationships out of it. “I’ve pulled back on the writing,” she said. “It’s limiting.” She was spending less time on the blog and more time looking for work and seeing the friends the blog had produced. The site had built her a life, and the life could now compete with the site.
Asked what she loved and hated about having a website, she said: “I don’t think I hate anything about it. I don’t love it either. It just is.”
A person with an audience is expected to preserve it, monetize it, migrate it across platforms and convert every scrap of attention into a permanent public self. Moxie came out of an earlier Internet, where people started blogs because they felt like writing and then stopped when they stopped feeling like it.
The history of blogging suffers from survivorship bias. We remember the ones who turned a blog into a career. Andrew Sullivan (b. 1963). Glenn Reynolds (b. 1960). Josh Marshall (b. 1969). Matthew Yglesias (b. 1981). They moved to Twitter and Substack and podcasts and books, and they left long searchable trails. That was the exception. Most bloggers vanished. Domains expired, links rotted, Movable Type installations went dark, Photobucket ate the photographs, comment threads disappeared, and the indexes forgot the rest.
From 2000 to 2007, Moxie documented her life in public, gathered readers, joined an emerging media scene, turned online contacts into friendships, and grew close enough to Cathy Seipp to sit with her at the end. Then, as the Internet was moving toward permanent identity, she went the other way.
Madison Slade was also a pen name. Maybe she married. Maybe she went back into technology, or left Los Angeles, or decided there were better uses for an evening than telling strangers about her afternoon.
What I can say is that the absence has no catastrophe in it. She stopped. She stopped early enough that Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram and the rest of the identity apparatus had not yet made stopping impossible, and so it worked. She was born into the first great wave of ordinary people putting their private lives on the public Internet, and she found the exit the rest of us have mislaid.
She logged off.
PS. While working on Sep. 6, 2026 on a blog post about Cathy Seipp’s social circle, I saw that I had an entire WordPress category called Moxie with just one post. I added it to my Cathy post, and then clicked it and saw this entry from July 28, 2010:
Blogger Moxie Says Her Co-Host Tried To Commit Her
Here’s the link where the blogger and blog radio host Moxie writes: “My former co-host tried to put me in the psych ward lock-down. Don’t worry, I discharged myself when no one understood why I was even there. Will tell everything my lawyer allows me to say, but I will be telling you everything about the beating I got from a cop. Photos available on my FB page….they’re real purty. Thanks Kender.”
Kender McGowan is Moxie’s former co-host who called the cops last Thursday morning, July 22, saying Moxie may be trying to commit suicide.
During the show July 25, Moxie lists off her enemies.
Here’s a 2003 interview I did with Moxie.
She’s been talking about committing suicide for as long as I have known her.
I don’t think she’s held down a full-time job in more than a decade.
Her parents are rich.
She regards her cats as her family and believes that at least one of them saved her life.
I’d like to think that when the cops were taking Moxie away, she screamed, “Take me to Cathy!”
Moxie blogs Jan. 16, 2010: “My Ex boyfriend has been stalking me for many months….
“Recently my assistant learned he has a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, she also enjoys stalking me using fake Twitter and Facebook accounts.”
Here are some highlights from this show:
Moxie: “My life has been utter hell.”
“I have been on the phone with my lawyer for two days. I have to be very careful about what I say.”
“I was beat up by cops and had people I cared about deeply betray me.”
“I don’t care how well you think you know somebody, never let them know where you live. If I don’t know what kind of stick gets shoved up their ass… They can send the cops and an ambulance and they can try to put you in the psych ward.”
“I was beat up by a cop who happens to be black.”
Moxie says she hasn’t slept in about a week. “That’s why I have a prescription [for xanax].”
“Maybe my former cohost is coming to get me again. What a giant! No, what a little faggot.”
A few years ago, Moxie was having some problems that she thought needed law enforcement attention. So a guy told her to call the LAPD and ask for detective Christie Love. She did and they laughed and hung up on her.
On this show, Moxie says: “I can’t stand Keith Olbermann. He drives me crazy.”
“Yes, it was a nigger cop. There are white people who are niggers and there are black people who are niggers and this was just a nigger.”
“I had my former best friend go ballistic on me because I bought six codemol tablets.”
I was friends with Moxie for years until I blogged that after Cathy Seipp’s funeral, Cathy’s sister asked Moxie to leave so the family could be alone together.
On this show, Moxie says: “I am working on getting a new cohost… I have one amazing candidate… She’s like me — a conservative atheist… I don’t think either of us hate religious people. I’m very close with my parents. They’re my best friends. They’re very religious and I forgive them for it.”
“After getting thrown in 5150 (involuntary psychiatric hold) for something prescribed by my doctor to help me with my insomnia. My former cohost and my former boyfriend conspired on this… So f*** you. You’re going to love your lawsuit.”
“My former cohost lives on public assistance.”
(Kender is on disability.)
When the police came for Moxie, I believe she grabbed a video camera and started taping to protect herself.
Moxie: “When they handcuffed me in the ambulance, I said, ‘What’s the matter? I live in the ghetto. There’s nothing better for you to do?'”
“Every time that faggot [Al Gore] gives a speech about global warming, there’s a snowstorm.”
“Kender owes me $120 because I paid for him to go to something.”
(Kender agrees.)
“I used to be assaulted every week by the same cop in LA because I had a hairstyle he didn’t like.”
“The big black man who forced his way into my house… He tried to push the door open with his henchmen. I pushed back.”
Moxie says she told the cops her husband was a lawyer.
“Kender’s a f***ing asshole. A lying scumbag absolute dirt off the bottom of a homeless person’s cane.”
“I’m going to send this to Fox. There should be Moxie riots. There should be white people looting and rioting all over the place.”
“I didn’t threaten suicide. I threatened to take my maximum dose of my meds because I hadn’t slept in four nights.”
“Kender reported that I took 30 milligrams of xanax. Three milligrams is the maximum I am allowed to take.”
“If you don’t sleep for a while, eventually you die.”
“I got beat up. I’m too afraid to sleep.”
“People who want to kill themselves go and just do it.”
“I didn’t want sympathy. I just said I’m cleaning my house, I can’t sleep.”
“If I want to kill myself, that’s my business. I’m not killing an innocent baby.”
Moxie spends much of the show talking about suicide and condemning her co-host for 51050ing her.
“I don’t feel safe in my own house because that f***ing asshole, that midget, can call them up and lie again and say Moxie just took some xanax.”
“I have a prescription and I know just how much I am allowed to take… The LD50 for those of you who aren’t pre-med is the amount that can kill half of the population. And I was nowhere near that.”
“He’s also got my best friend and my ex-boyfriend involved in this. Trust me. Nobody f***s with me.”
Moxie asks a caller, “Do I sound suicidal to you?”
“These things are great. I can clear out a whole bunch of people [from my life].”
“I drop the n-bomb. They call us equally offensive terms. I’ll call Kender a faggot. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Moxie repeatedly gives out the phone number of one of her enemies because he “snuck on to my Facebook page.”
“The good crazy people are funny. The bad crazy people are shooting up buildings. There’s no law against saying things that don’t make everyone happy.”
“Why can’t we say nigger? They say cracker.”
Moxie is a veteran of flame wars. There was this 2003 dispute with another blogger who had the gall to call herself Moxie. That other Moxie then got fired because of an anonymous fax.
On June 11, 2003, Moxie posts: “While I can’t deny that this whole ‘Moxie’ war has been good for traffic, the fact that it’s become fodder for Jim Treacher’s fantasies tells me that it’s probably time for it to be over. So to the other Moxie: good luck and God speed… And to Jim: Seek professional help. (But you already knew to do that.)”
I talk to Kender this morning. He’s worked the show (the Humor Institute) with Moxie since last November.
Kender says: “Last Monday night, I fell asleep at 8:30 pm. I leave my computer on. At 1:40 a.m., there was an IM from Moxie. At 4 a.m., Mox woke me up. She told me she had thrown out all of her food and was doing her laundry so her parents wouldn’t have to deal with it. That worried me. I figured she was tired. She said her mom would take the cats and was there anything of her’s that I wanted.
“I figured, she’s tired. She’s full of crap. I said, yeah, I want your car.
“She said, you’ll do fine on the show. Do the show with Eric. And then she hangs up.
“I didn’t think nothing of it. She told me she took a bunch of xanax and was taking more. Her housekeeper could find her Friday morning when she came in to clean.
“Well, seven a.m. she calls me. Now she’s slurring her words. I could hardly understand anything she says except for ‘I took more pills.’
“I got off the phone with her. I thought about it. I called the cops. I said, I’m worried. This is why. I gave them the address. Up to this point, everything was really good between us. I had no motivation to call the cops to f*** with her.
“Last night on the show, she said she had a smoking gun which proves I did this out of spite because I had done it before.
“I did this before to my ex-girlfriend and my ex-best friend who ran off together after a year of him harassing me online and through the mail by signing me up for magazine subscriptions and such. I called the local sheriff and had a welfare check done on them to let them know, I have your address. Quit f***ing with me.
“If I wanted to f*** with somebody, I wouldn’t have given my real name to the cops.
“She said all this [about taking pills] and now she’s denying it.”
“When the cops showed up, she called our executive producer Randy. A guy she was kinda dating online. She called him and said the cops are outside and are trying to get in. He said, let them in.
“He heard the cops say, we need to take your vital signs.
“They called me back. They asked for her real name. They said, she’s being combative. Did she say the words, I’m going to kill myself.
“I said no. I gave them the rundown on what she said, including the housekeeper can just find me Friday morning.
“She worried me. And I’m not one to get worried. I’m the last person in the world to interfere, even if they want to off themselves.”
Kender says the cops came by her place before 8 a.m. and she was apparently home and free by 10 am.
Luke: “Have you heard Moxie talk about suicide before?”
Kender: “No. Nothing serious. Just, I want to die and my life sucks.”
On Jan. 6, 2023, Tennessee educator JC Bowman posts on Facebook:
A friend who passed away too early Kender McGowan write this, well worth the read:
I’m honored when my words are shared, especially when they make an impact. I’ve written a lot, but few things I have written so succinctly sum up life as I know it as this does.
Nobody ever says “My what a grand adventure” as they go about their day. No one has ever stepped off of their walk with the thought “What a wonderful adventure this will be” as they set out to do whatever it is they are off to do that day.
It is only through rheumy, old eyes, when their dragons are slain and their damsels have been saved that people look back upon the adventure that has been their life and think what a great adventure this has been, and if only I had realized then what strength my trials would bring me, what patience adversity would teach me and what grace perseverance would bestow on me perhaps my smile would have been worn more than my brow was furrowed, my compassion would have flowed as often as my ire and the beauty of the world would not have been lost in the harried rush of always thinking “if I can just get through this THEN I can get to the important stuff.”
Set before us each is our path. To our young eyes it fades into the mist before you, ever uncertain, fraught with failure. But look back. You are exactly where you are supposed to be and the path that led you there is straight. No matter if your name is writ large or small on the pages of history, whether you forge empires or make mud, it is your adventure all along, The key to life is this; You are the hero of your story. Act accordingly.
According to Gemini on Sep. 6, 2026:
Kender McGowan is the author of a widely shared philosophical reflection on life, aging, and perspective. The writing focuses on how life is only recognized as a “grand adventure” when looking back through older, wiser eyes. McGowan wrote that if people realized the strength and patience that future trials would bring, they would spend less time furrowing their brows and more time smiling and appreciating the world. The piece gained prominence on social media.
Jay in Ames posted July 17, 2022: “Just read that Kender McGowan, someone a lot of Morons follow on FB, passed away last night.”
An Aug. 6, 2010 entry on the TheErrolFlynnblog.com notes: “Show # 26 has a in studio guest Kender McGowan, our Warrior Poet.”

