Driving & Loving

I’m brutal and impatient.

I don’t know how I manage to keep my license.

I’m way to quick to toot my horn and push my way to where I wanna go.

I’m a menace.

I should be illegal.

On rare occasions, I suppress my brutal urges.

When I’m first dating a girl, I’m nice.

But sometimes I can change during the course of one date.

Case in point — 2002.

We met at Stu and Lew’s Christmas party.

She was an executive.

I love powerful women.

We had our first date at the Magic Carpet on Pico Blvd.

She wasn’t as concerned about my past writing on —- but that I was too religious for her.

I was Orthodox and she was Conservative.

Lunch went well enough for us to go out again.

We went to a movie in Santa Monica.

On the drive there, I was very careful.

Then I got us into an argument on abortion.

She thought it should be legal and guilt-free. I was more gloomy.

We watched the movie.

I drove back brutally.

"I can see you’re no longer trying to impress me," she noted as I raced through a yellow light and smacked into a few bumps.

Damn, women are so intuitive.

How do they pick up on these things? How can they tell I no longer care so much?

If I can ever learn to fake caring, I’ll be the complete loving package.

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I Love The New British Film ‘Sixty Six’

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Converts Have Nothing In Common

I was talking to somebody today about converts to Judaism.

He asked me to assess their role in American Judaism and whether they were becoming more accepted on the Jewish street.

"Converts to Judaism have nothing in common beyond the fact that they are converts," I said. "A typical convert to Reform Judaism and a typical convert to Orthodox Judaism have nothing in common. They are two different religions they are converting to. A convert’s influence on Judaism is determined by the same thing as a born Jew’s influence — by how much they study and practice. I know chareidi rabbis who are converts to Judaism. If somebody studies Judaism and practices Judaism, he’s going to influence Judaism. If he doesn’t practice and learn, he won’t. A convert will be accepted according to his merits. If a convert gets attacked by Jews for being a convert, that’s likely because they are reaching for his weak point. He’s hurt them in some way and they instinctively react by reaching for the chink in his armor."

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The New Yorker’s Muslim Obama Cover

Andrew Malcolm writes:

There are always two sides to everything in politics. The up-side for Barack Obama of the persistent controversy over the Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s black militancy and racist sermons was that it sure drove home the point to millions of thinking voters that the Illinois senator was attending a Christian church, which countered the even-more persistent online rumors about Obama being Muslim.

Remember the native costume photo that was or was not promulgated by the Hillary Clinton campaign way back when she thought she had a chance to win the nomination? It’s still going around online.

But now comes another unwelcome development for Obama’s camp.

The satirical cover of the New Yorker magazine for the issue of 7-21-08

The cover of this week’s New Yorker magazine depicts Obama in one-piece Muslim garb and headdress fist-bumping his booted, Afro-wearing wife Michelle in camo clothes with a rifle and ammo-belt slung over her shoulder beneath a portrait of Osama bin-Laden while the American flag burns in the fireplace — in the presidential Oval Office.

It’s got everything incendiary except a vest bomb. Which is what should telegraph to most people that it’s way over-the-top and, therefore, satire.

But politicians don’t like satire because it’s subject to differing interpretations.

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What Happened To Cedars-Sinai?

I blame the Mexicans.

Cedars is a good hospital system, but it is overtaxed.  The average national rate of hospital beds/patient population is 4 beds/1000 people. In LA, as a result of the closures of so many hospitals, its more like .5 beds/1000. The biggest problem is the disproportionate number of uninsured patients aka illegal aliens.

guest3: my friend had medicare but was sent to kaiser as cedars icu dept was full and he had better care than at cedars
YourMoralLeader: i love kaiser
guest3: cedars has gone way down & they have a big problem with mersa
YourMoralLeader: what’s mersa?
guest3: but they have a great pr dept that covers all the boo boos
guest3: mersa is the staph infections you get in hospitals that you can’t get rid of
guest3: they are the hospital infections that usually are the kiss of death
guest3: ppl have looked down on kaiser for many years & was considered only for the poor or indigent but it is common knowledge that it is now good as hospital care goes

Anon emails: With millions of uninsured in California, how do you blame illegal aliens for your friend not getting an ICU bed at Cedars?  i can’t decide whether that’s racism or ignorance.  Haven’t you noticed that the health system is collapsing and that an increasing percentage of workers don’t have employer-paid insurance?

Also, the poor and indigent don’t go to Kaiser.  Only those privileged to have health insurance, either employer or self-paid, can go there.  Kaiser is not accessible to the indigent.

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Rabbi Levi Meir Is Dead

Beth Jacob emails: "We announce with sorrow the passing of Rabbi Levi Meier, husband of Marcie Meier, father of Chana Gelb, Isaac & Yosef Meier, Malka Grebnau and brother of Rabbi Menachem Meier.   The funeral service will take place tomorrow, Monday, July 14, at Beth Jacob at 8:00 am. The burial will take place at Eitz Chayim cemetary in Beit Shemesh, Israel at 4:30 pm on Tuesday."

Devora Publishing wrote: "Rabbi Meier is a licensed clinical psychologist and a marriage, family and child therapist. He has written two previous books and is Special Issues Editor of the Journal of Psychology and Judaism. He lives with his wife, Marcie, and their children in Los Angeles."

I wonder if all the comfort Rabbi Meir gave others over the years was a comfort to him in his dying months?

The Beverly Hills Courier writes Aug. 9, 2002:

Rabbi Levi Meir is a California hospital chaplain who respects honesty and readers are bound to respect his book about facing death. In every chapter, the blossoming spiritual growth of a particular dying client named Joe takes Rabbi Meir, Joe, and the reader on a soothing spiritual journey based on the recognition and acceptance of reality. As Rabbi Meir writes on page 94, "How we journey through life is most significant. Our visions… give us strength to continue…" The promises of theological tenets, belief and disbelief in G-d, and the frank honesty of fear of approaching death lead to Joe`s and Rabbi Meir`s recorded conversations with developing and comforting insights that reduce Joe`s anxieties and inspire him to face the next phase of life with gratitude and reassurance.

A psychologist and the Jewish chaplain at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, Levi does not clutter Seven Heavens – Inspirational Stories to Elevate Your Soul with oft-tried cliches so often employed by some rabbis. His prose is true to life, addressing the raw, nagging issues that distress the living and depress the dying. Instead of aphorisms and Toraitic tidbits about the wonders of suffering, Rabbi Meir provides his patients and his readers with compassion and the occasionally apropos Toraitic insight about appreciating life. Freely flowing conversations unhampered by lock-step cooperation with the polite, stultifying behaviors often shared by the living and the dying help Joe and Seven Heavens readers with the stuff all of us want to resolve. The rabbi`s heartfelt kindnesses enable Joe to become spiritually attuned and elevated after a lifetime of avoiding religious deliberations.

Poignant stories of Rabbi Meir`s other dying clients fill paragraphs that complement Joe`s developing insights. Levi`s written record of conversations about the G-dly soul, eternity and purpose with other people is vastly superior to the dreary proscriptions that some other allegedly spiritual leaders use on hapless, suffering listeners. Meir`s explanation to an exasperated surgeon that the reason the disappointed doctor never found a soul in the live bodies he operates on is because there is more to reality than physical vision. "You`ve experienced love. Have you ever seen it in a patient`s surgically opened body?" Levi asks rhetorically. The surgeon and the reader are left close-mouthed, realizing the enormous implication of the statement.

One of the most irritating responses a rabbi can make to a suffering person`s painful request for spiritually relieving insight is that "we are born to suffer" or worse, "you are being tested in your love for Hashem." It is a damning indictment against the compassionate aspect of Hashem, a spiritually bankrupt and childish point of view. The metaphysical reality of G-d is not something on which humans beings can offer reliable speculation. Mentally stable observant Jews simply do not eat traife or transgress other Jewish laws to test Hashem`s love for them. It is therefore exasperating to be informed that Hashem is capriciously toying with individual loyalties to Him. Rabbi Meir never goes there, preferring to focus on the heart-felt needs of the dying to reconcile their spiritual future with their physical past. He empowers his patients to bring the Divine into their last physical moments with music, art, speech and focused thought processes.

The manner in which he connects Joe to the angel Uriel is an astonishing act of kindness: the rabbi presents Joe with the high-quality copy of a painting that fascinates his dying client. Joe`s attraction to the depiction of a harbor becomes a metaphor for the soul`s spiritual tasks while becoming completely accepting of life and of individuals as they are. On the last page of the anthology of spiritually uplifting stories, even Rabbi Meir finds a startling and previously unnoticed spiritual gift in the picture. Perhaps it was a gift from Uriel or Joe. The book is certainly a gift to its readers.

Seven Heavens – Inspirational Stories to Elevate Your Soul belongs in private homes, hospices, and in the syllabi of social services professions. It is a book that should be made freely available to all mental and physical health care facilities so that practitioners and their clients can benefit from its spiritually satisfying lessons.

DAVID SUISSA WRITES MARCH 15, 2007:

Is Islam a religion of war or of peace? Is it both? How did it start? What are its connections to Judaism?

These and other questions lit up my house the other night as part of an unusual Torah salon that has been gracing the Pico-Robertson neighborhood for the past 10 years.

It was started by writer and film producer David Brandes and has been informally called the Avi Chai group, after the Avi Chai Foundation (which until recently supplied the funding).

What’s unusual is that this is a group of 20-25 mostly unobservant Jews, many of them writers and filmmakers, who like to go very deeply into Jewish texts. For many years, the class was led by a scholarly Orthodox rabbi and author, Rabbi Levi Meir, whose approach was to dissect the many layers of an original Torah text by delving into Rashi and other classic commentators.

In other words, it was your basic hard-core yeshiva class for Hollywood hipsters.

I participated in several of these salons over the years, and I can tell you it is a sight to behold bright, hip Jews who haven’t spent a minute in a yeshiva take on a Torah scholar on the microscopic difference between two interpretations of a text. Put a black hat on the men and make the whole thing in Yiddish and you wouldn’t be too far from Mea Shearim.

What I also find remarkable is that many of the same people have been coming back, month after month, year after year. I find this remarkable because their deep attachment to Judaism has little to do with their level of observance. They have not chosen a religious lifestyle, which would obligate them to learn regularly. They are learning about their religion, rather than learning how to become more religious.

And as you’ll see, they are very adventurous in their learning.

Lately, under the tutelage of Rabbi Abner Weiss, the class has expressed a greater interest in history and theology, including how Judaism compares to other religions. The class the other night was the first in a three-part series on Islam.

After it was over, there was a strange silence among many of the participants. It wasn’t just that they didn’t want to wake up my kids, or that my mother’s desserts had sucked up their attention.

There was a sense that we’ve all been cheated. Not by the class — which was electrifying — but by the lack of serious reporting in the general news media about history and theology.

People were wondering: Why do we rarely hear about the history of Islam, about the role that wars and coercion played in its conception, about how the prophet Muhammad felt slighted by the Jews of Arabia, and about the many similarities between Islam and Judaism?

In an hour and a half, we gained more knowledge on Islam than in 1,000 reports of any major newspaper or news broadcast.

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Single Jewish Female Seeks Stress Relief

Perhaps she should seek counseling from Rabbi Abner Weiss?

From the Wall Street Journal Friday, Tamar Snyder writes:

Just as the economy is headed to recession, the shidduch system is in crisis mode. Or so the rabbis moan, noting the surplus of women eager to marry and the corresponding shortfall in the quality and quantity of available Jewish men. It’s not that there are more Orthodox women than men out there; experts instead attribute the shortage to the broader sociological trend of postponing marriage, which works to the disadvantage of women looking for spouses their own age or just a few years older. Men who are 30 will date women as young as 18 and may turn their noses up at dating any woman past the age of 25. The 20% or 30% of women who don’t get hitched right away begin to worry they’ll be left out in the cold for good.

Sensing this shift of power, mothers of sons who remain in the matchmaking system increase their demands: Any prospective daughter-in-law must be a size two, or a "learner" son must be supported indefinitely by the girl’s parents. For men, "it’s a buyer’s market," says Michael Salamon, a psychologist and author of "The Shidduch Crisis: Causes and Cures" (2008). "And the pressures of dating are creating all kinds of social problems, such as eating disorders and anxiety disorders. It’s frightening."

I used to shrug off this talk. Genocide in Darfur is a crisis; being single at 23 is not. But the communal pressure is hard to ignore. Orthodox Judaism, like most traditional faiths, is geared to families; singles lack a definitive role.

Then there’s what social worker Shaya Ostrov calls the "popcorn effect." During the first two to three years following high-school graduation, 70% to 80% of Orthodox women get married; weddings then peter off. "The system works for a very limited period of time," says Mr. Ostrov, the author of "The Inner Circle: Seven Gates to Marriage." Friends of mine compare dating to musical chairs; nobody wants to end up an "old maid," and so they get engaged, hoping doubts will prove unfounded. "Young women," notes Sylvia Barack Fishman, professor of contemporary Jewish life at Brandeis University, "are often made to feel that they are damaged goods if they have not married — and married well — by their early 20s."

Part of the problem is the increased number of "serial daters" who, as Ms. Fishman says, are "shopping for perfection." When Mr. Ostrov runs workshops, he asks male participants in their early 30s how many girls they have dated. "One hundred seventy-five is not an unusual number," he says. "Dating" in these cases usually ends after just one or two meetings with each girl.

Many men admit that their refusal to commit themselves to a woman stems from fear of making a mistake. The only thing worse than being an "older single" male, it seems, is being a 25-year-old divorcé with two children. It is women, though, who are usually more stigmatized by a split. Indeed, one big problem in the Orthodox community is the "Post-Shidduch Crisis."

"We’re seeing more and more recently married, young Orthodox Jews getting divorced," says Mr. Salamon, who estimates that the divorce rate among the Orthodox has risen to an alarming 30% in the past five to 10 years. (Hard data are difficult to come by, Mr. Salamon says, because the Orthodox shun research studies for fear of harming their own or their children’s shidduchim.)

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When Did 66 Years Old Become Middle-Aged?

Rob Eshman writes in the Jewish Journal about 66-year old Ron Kaye:

The unlikely agitator is a middle-aged Jewish man in Woodland Hills, Ron Kaye.

Kaye, the former editor of The Daily News, has put together the Saving L.A. Project (yes, SLAP). The idea is to inspire and empower citizen activists across the city to voice their anger at the way things are, and to come up with a "Contract for L.A." outlining a bold, future-oriented agenda for the city.

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How Is Abner Weiss Still A Licensed Therapist And Rabbi?

He’s a classic.

He carefully grooms his women and then uses Torah to f— them.

He’s not content to just get off on these ladies. It’s as though he wants to destroy them.

We’re not talking simple sex.

This is an Orthodox rabbi who has women urinate on him.

And he gets paid for it!

And he’s been screwing around like this for at least a decade.

His website is ConnectingToGod.com. He presides over the Westwood Village Shul. He’s the co-president of Village Mental Health Associates.

How did I first realize that something was very wrong with this brilliant man?

About ten years ago when I saw he was giving kaballah seminars with secular and sleazy Hollywood producer Harry Jakobs.

How does Abner Weiss get to have sex with women he counsels and retain his rabbinic and therapist license?

I’m not seeking to morally censure him. I just want to understand how he does it.

I’ve been tracking his deterioration.

No wonder Rabbi Steven Weil has banned him from Beth Jacob.

Rabbi Weil made a bunch of phone calls around Passover 2008 after hearing a credible report on Rabbi Weiss having a sexual relationship with a woman in the community who he counseled.

Abner Weiss doesn’t respond to my interview requests.

Oh well, this blog post marks the end of his career.

If necessary, I’ll post more details and then you’ll see he makes Aron Tendler look like a tender tzaddik.

A lot of people forgave Abner for his screwing around at Beth Jacob and hoped he’d settle down with his new marriage (with a female congregant he used to counsel while the head of Beth Jacob).

Well, it didn’t work out that way.

With the Beth Din of Los Angeles, Abner Weiss (who was its head until 2000) has presided over more than 100 conversions to Orthodox Judaism.

I wonder how many of these were sexually tainted?

As his Beth Jacob scandals were about to go public in 2000, Rabbi Abner Weiss did a fancy three-step. He quit Beth Jacob and took a job in England. He separated from his wife and then divorced her a year later. He discovered he wasn’t a cohen. And he married the Beth Jacob congregant he’d been taken with for several years (Yuli Aronowitz aka Yolande Bloomstein).

He subsequently lost the support of about 90% of his former congregants. Some of them shrugged it off. Marriages end. Maybe he wasn’t a cohen. He should live and be well.

Neither his former wife nor his former congregation kicked up a fuss when Abner Weiss returned to Los Angeles and took on therapeutic and rabbinic duties.

How come Abner Weiss didn’t get kicked out of the RCA for marrying a congregant? He left Beth Jacob and went to Jews College in England in 2000. That’s when the drama played itself out. Therefore there wasn’t anything for the RCA to be involved in. Then he came back and the Orthodox community marginalized him.

If Weiss had stayed at Beth Jacob while this played out, he wouldn’t have survived.

As I posted a few months ago from a source:

Article Photo

Rabbi Abner Weiss had affairs with married women in his congregation prior to Yuli Aranowitz.
We knew and did nothing because we did not want to hurt Shifra’s feelings. We also did not want to break up the marriage.
– He was very bold about it, almost asking to be stopped.
– Shifra says that when she was served divorce papers, she was surprised and shocked. The woman had no clue.
– When Abner went to England, Shifra stayed behind for one year. They agreed that she will complete her tenure at L.A. Unified and retire. Lucky for her otherwise she would have lost not only a husband but her pension and health benefits, too.
– He came to visit her during that time and she thought it was her he came to see.
– At the end of the year as she was packing to leave, the divorce papers came. It hit her like a ton of bricks.
– We all gathered at the S’uddah Shishit before her trip. None of us knew what took place. She got up like a lady, then calmly and elegantly told us in a few words that she is not going to England and that they are getting divorced. You could have sliced the air with a knife. Some people even cried.
– I never heard her speak ill about the rabbi or Yuli. She quietly moved on.
– It seems to that the Beth Jacob membership never forgave the rabbi.

I liked the rabbi very much. I was very uncomfortable with his behavior during the last years at BJ. I got over it. He and Yuli have a right to be happy. If Shifra is OK and moved on, who am I to begrudge them? As a pulpit rabbi, he served the community well and had wonderful Drashot and political speeches. I missed him a lot during the present rabbinate leadership. I know that I am not the only one…

Despite his screwing of various women’s lives in his capacity as a rabbi and therapist, Abner Weiss is the rabbi of and is a member of the Rabbinical Council of America (the union for Modern Orthdoox rabbis). Here’s his RCA profile:

strong>May 9, 2007 — Rabbi Abner Weiss studied at rabbinical seminaries in South Africa and Israel. He was ordained as a rabbi at the Yeshivat Kerem B’Yavneh, and by the Chief Rabbis of Israel. Later, he studied in New York with Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik.

Rabbi Weiss was graduated from the University of the Witwatersrand in Johannesburg, South Africa. His postgraduate education in Jewish Studies was at Yeshiva University in New York, where he was granted a Master’s Degree for his dissertation on the ethical and psychological thought of Rabbi Sa’adia Gaon, and a Ph.D. for his dissertation on Human Nature and Morality in the philosophy of Rabbi Loewe of Prague, one of the great masters of the Kabbalah. His study and teaching of the Kabbalah has continued from 1965 to the present.

Having majored in psychology in Johannesburg, Rabbi Weiss returned to the field, gaining a Master’s Degree in Psychology and receiving his clinical training at California State University, Los Angeles. He was later awarded a Ph.D. in Psychology by the Saybrook Graduate School and Research Center in San Francisco for his research on the effectiveness of rabbis as mental health professionals. Dr. Weiss is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California. He is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and a member of the American Psychological Association, where he participates in the Division on Psychology of Religion.

Rabbi Weiss has occupied four pulpits on three continents. He was Chief Rabbi of the Province of Natal in South Africa from 1969 to 1976, and Senior Rabbi of the Riverdale Jewish Center in New York from 1977 to 1985. Rabbi Weiss served for fifteen years as the Senior Rabbi of Beth Jacob Congregation in Beverly Hills, California, beginning in 1985. While there, he was Av Beit Din of the Beth Din of Los Angeles. He left the United States in 2000 to revive the faltering London School of Jewish Studies, revamping the rabbinical seminary and overseeing the development of a successful extension program for popular education. He was also the spiritual leader of London’s Western Marble Arch Synagogue.

In addition to his congregational work, he has served as President of the Board of Rabbis of Southern California, providing direction and leadership to 250 rabbis of all Jewish denominations. He also headed the Beth Din of Los Angeles for about twelve years. He is also the former Chairman of the North American Cabinet of the State of Israel Bonds. He also served has as a Vice-President of the RCA, and maintains a busy speaking schedule in South Africa, Australia, the Far East and Great Britain.

Dr. Weiss has also maintained a busy academic career, serving as Professor and Head of the Department of Hebrew and Jewish Studies at the University of Natal, South Africa, Adjunct Professor of Philosophy at Yeshiva University, New York, and Visiting Professor of Jewish Studies, School of Oriental and African Studies at the University of London, England. He was awarded an Honorary Doctorate in Divinity by the Jewish University of America in recognition both of his effectiveness as a teacher and of his distinguished academic contributions to the field of Jewish studies.

Dr. Weiss has published many journal articles and book chapters including his popular "Death and Bereavement: A Halakhic Guide to Mourning" (1991 and 2000), and "Rabbis as Mental Health Professionals" (2000). In that book, he found that members of synagogues across the denominational divide would like their rabbis to provide them with counseling that is spiritually uplifting and transformative, but that most were disappointed in the inability of their rabbis to do so. These findings impacted Dr. Weiss’ approach to counseling and his recent writings and work, particularly Connecting to God: Ancient Kabbalah and Modern Psychology.

His shift from teaching philosophy to practicing psychotherapy was the realization of a dream he had ever since his first informal encounter with Kabbalah in the sixties when he began to see the Kabbalah as the framework for an integrated psychological system, and for a novel, spiritual approach to psychotherapy. His formal study of psychology ultimately provided him with the professional and academic credentials that would give credibility to his work in the brand new field of kabbalistic psychotherapy. He led a series of three-day workshops based on the ideas and the strategies of Connecting to God: Ancient Kabbalah and Modern Psychology, as well as follow-up seminars; see www.ConnectingToGod.com for more details.

Looking back over his accomplished career, Rabbi Weiss said that, “I take enormous pride my work on behalf of the South African persecuted masses, my involvement with the fledgling Jewish outreach movement through Yeshiva University’s Torah Leadership Seminars and the impact my work in the Beth Din has had on several generations of converts to Judaism and their families throughout the western United States and the Pacific Rim. It has been an honor to have touched so many lives, influenced so many students, congregants and seekers in so many places over so long a period of time.”

Rabbi Dr. Abner Weiss lives, practices, preaches, teaches and writes in Los Angeles, California. He is rabbi of the Westwood Village Synagogue in Westwood. His wife, Dr. Yolande Bloomstein, is his partner in Village Mental Health Associates. Between them, they have seven children, twenty-seven grand and great grandchildren.

Here is a profile of Abner Weiss’s current wife (from the Academy for Jewish Religion website):

Dr. Yolande Bloomstein, Professor of Chaplaincy Studies
With a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute and a Masters Degree in Social Work from the University of Southern California, Dr. Yolande Bloomstein is in private practice with Village Mental Health Associates. A Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Dr. Bloomstein was a Chaplain at the Cedars Sinai Medical Center Hospice Program as well as a member of the Chevra Kaddisha (Jewish Burial Society). She has conducted numerous workshops and seminars on “death and dying” to hospice, medical, nursing, social work and spiritual workers.

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‘Don’t Tell Rabbi Union’

If he only knew the role he played in my life, he’d be so proud.

Everything I am today is because of this man.

Whenever I’m about to violate Jewish law behind closed doors, I whisper this mantra to my comrades in crime: "Don’t tell Rabbi Union!"

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