My Rabbi Weil Dream

I dreamed this morning that I was walking down Olympic Blvd. I saw Rabbi Weil and I tried to pass him unobtrusively but he yelled out, "Hey Levi, I may have misjudged you. Rabbi Lisa Edwards tells me you are a good guy."

I say something disarming and that’s all I remember.

Lisa Edwards is the liberal rabbi of Pico-Robertson’s one gay shul – Beth Chayim Chadashim.

I’m not sure why she’d be talking to Rabbi Weil, but I guess that’s what dreams are for.

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Rapper’s Obama Song

Report:

Is Ludacris entering politics? The rapper wrote a song about Obama the lyrics of which we present below.

Even MTV is reffering to the presidential campaign, saying it’s getting ugly and that they are "talking about a new freestyle from Ludacris over Young Buck’s “Get Buck” called “Politics (Obama Is Here),” in which the “Get Back” MC gives props to the freshman Illinois senator while throwing dirt on his rivals and, of course, giving himself a bit of shine as well."

Here are the lyrics of Ludacris’ Obama Song

I’m back on it like I just signed my record deal

Yeah the best is here, the Bentley Coup paint is dripping wet, it got sex appeal

Never should have hated

You never should’ve doubted him

With a slot in the president’s iPod Obama shattered ’em

Said I handled his biz and I’m one of his favorite rappers

Well give Luda a special pardon if I’m ever in the slammer

Better yet put him in office, make me your vice president

Hillary hated on you, so that bitch is irrelevant

Jesse talking slick and apologizing for what?

If you said it then you meant it how you want it have a gut!

And all you other politicians trying to hate on my man,

watch us win a majority vote in every state on my man

You can’t stop what’s bout to happen, we bout to make history

The first black president is destined and it’s meant to be

The threats ain’t fazing us, the nooses or the jokes

So get off your ass, black people, it’s time to get out and vote!

Paint the White House black and I’m sure that’s got ’em terrified

McCain don’t belong in any chair unless he’s paralyzed

Yeah I said it cause Bush is mentally handicapped

Ball up all of his speeches and I throw ’em like candy wrap

’cause what you talking I hear nothing even relevant

and you the worst of all 43 presidents

Get out and vote or the end will be near

The world is ready for change because Obama is here!

’cause Obama is here

The world is ready for change because Obama is here!

It seems that Barack Obama’s campaign has already denounced the song and lyrics, however Obama’s website has not yet posted any information about this.

"As Barack Obama has said many, many times in the past, rap lyrics today too often perpetuate misogyny, materialism, and degrading images that he doesn’t want his daughters or any children exposed to," said spokesman Bill Burton. "This song is not only outrageously offensive to Senator Clinton, Reverend Jackson, Senator McCain, and President Bush, it is offensive to all of us who are trying to raise our children with the values we hold dear. While Ludacris is a talented individual he should be ashamed of these lyrics."

U.S. Sen. Barack Obama, contemplating a run for president, met privately Wednesday with rapper Ludacris to talk about young people.

”We talked about empowering the youth,” said the artist, whose real name is Chris Bridges.

Bridges was in town to launch the YouthAIDS ”Kick Me” campaign to raise HIV/AIDS awareness during a stop at Northwestern University in the Chicago suburb of Evanston.

The gathering at Obama’s downtown Chicago office was a meeting of two star powers: Obama, who enjoys rock star-like status on the political scene, and Ludacris, who has garnered acclaim for his music and acting.

Obama declined to comment after their meeting but walked with Bridges to the elevator as he left.

Bridges said meeting Obama, known for his warm personal style, was like meeting with a relative.

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Minority Journalists Can’t Stop Themselves From Applausing Barack Obama

Here’s the report.

Dennis Prager says July 31: "I am opposed to these [race-based] organizations’ existence. Once you are a black journalist rather than a journalist, it changes the nature of your journalism. If you are a Jewish journalist, then it changes the nature of your journalism. I don’t know if there is a Jewish journalist association unless if is forJewish journals. For black journals, fine.

"If you are a journalist for the mainstream media, you shouldn’t be part of an organization that narrows your identity as a journalist."

"What is the difference between a journalist in the black journalist association and a journalist not in the organization and they are both reporting on an Obama press conference?"

"Journalism has to be as neutral as possible or it is opinion. I wouldn’t mind if it was opinion. An association of black columnists, fine."

"And we accept this as a norm in American life. It is a tearing down of the notion of an American. And they act like they are for unity. The name of the group is Unity ’08. We believe in Unity but we belong to journalist associations that disunite journalists."

"I would have no problem if every journalist who is a member of one of these associations (all on the Left) mentioned it in every article so we would know where they were coming from."

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I’m Spending More Time Fixing People’s Reputations These Days Then Ruining Them

I find public relations work is not as hard, not as confrontational, and more lucrative than aggressive reporting.

For eleven years, I’ve been deconstructing people’s reputations. Now I’m learning how to flood the internet with public messages about a person or business.

This is not so bad.

I might make it yet.

If your reputation matters to you, and a few prominent results in Google for your name are getting you down, why don’t you take action to take back your reputation? It’ll take a little work or money but it’s not difficult.

And ask me how I lost 18 pounds in three weeks…

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Is Luke Ford Good For The Jews?

Rabbi Gadol writes: "Your blog is not good for the Jews. Most of your stories make Jews seem bigoted or stupid or narrow minded or perverted out of their minds or all of the above. The average person would not think to become or be a Jew based on what he reads on your blog."

guest26:  how do i watch this
YourMoralLeader:  it is your computer
RabbiGadol:  Try hitting refresh and wait a minute
guest26:  i tryed that
RabbiGadol:  Then accept God’s judgment that you not be here
guest26:  ok
RabbiGadol:  Instead, hug your kids
guest26:  i am
User guest26 left the room.
RabbiGadol:  Play games with them, teach them new words
RabbiGadol:  It especially angers me when a woman of breeding age shows up here.  This place is not for fertile females..
RabbiGadol:  Another victory
RabbiGadol:  When there is no Emma, there is no life, and without life, there is no hope
RabbiGadol:  Blogging is the masturbation of the naughts.
RabbiGadol:  Like porn, it is somewhat dubious and onanistic in nature
RabbiGadol:  Everyone does it, but still – most bloggers in their heart of hearts know that they are not doing what they were meant to be doing
RabbiGadol:  You were meant to be lukeford dot com

Guest16:  wow that story with you, the old lady and the hot daughter really speaks to me
guest51:  you know each time before i come in here, i try to think of something smart to say, so i can get quoted on the blog
RabbiGadol:  I told you that blogging was fundamentally onanistic
guest51:  wtf is onanistic
RabbiGadol:  He’s working his way up to a date.
RabbiGadol:  If only Emma were here
Guest16:  haha thats funny onanistic
RabbiGadol:  It is from the bible
Guest16:  oh i get it
Guest16:  the bad man from genesis
RabbiGadol:  I am going to leave this place, as I urge all of you to do as well. 
Guest16:  why
Guest16:  he lookes like he is stoned
RabbiGadol:  Life is meant to be lived, and this is like watching death  approach
Guest16:  forget masterbation
Guest16:  hes just on a trip
RabbiGadol:  No, this is the ebbing of the life force.
Guest16:  ‘rocky mountain high’ get it?
RabbiGadol:  It is sad.
RabbiGadol:  I don’t listen to the sound track.
Guest16:  why not
RabbiGadol:  He could have been somebody.  But he failed.
Guest16:  what do you mean
RabbiGadol:  Just look at what you see here.  That’s all there is.
Guest16:  wow thats harsh, everyone has to deal with their own issues, some take more time then others, but dont give up on them
Guest16:  were all waiting for you to upgrade, luke

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In, Deeper

Joe emails:

Marc Gafni needs either Barry White or one of those louche 70s disco soundtracks. The last two lines sound like something you might find on a black velvet poster (italics and bold mine):

We are on a journey to Love. For as the Zohar writes ‘All the Paths (Shvilin) lead to the Temple of love’. Wherever you are, wherever you are standing or kneeling or crouching – the place where you are is on your path to love. Love requires Depth.

So as we begin our journey to love I want you to know that I will do my best in the black fire. 

 For is it in the white fire and that you taste the rawness of Eros and the sweetness of love for which your soul yearns.

His posts work like that old game with the fortune cookies, where you read them out loud adding the phrase "…in bed".

"For is it in the white fire and that you taste the rawness of Eros and the sweetness of love for which your soul yearns… in bed."

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Danielle Berrin Goes Out On A Limb

In the latest issue of the Jewish Journal, she writes about blacks and Jews: "Even while certain members of each community suggest a diminishing relationship among blacks and Jews, the foundation’s ability to attract high-powered Hollywood to support its mission is proof that strong ties are still possible."

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How Are Jewish Newspapers Holding Up?

Newspapers are in a terrible bind around the world as readers migrate to the web to get their news and there is as yet no way for most publishers to earn a profit online.

As I ask around at Jewish newspapers, it seems they are doing fine.

I haven’t noticed any drop in editorial content and quality at the major weeklies, including the Jewish Journal of Los Angeles.

Many Jewish newspapers are subsidized by their local Jewish federation (not the Jewish Journal). The Forward has a massive endowment. All serve an affluent niche audience that advertisers covet.

I email Rob Eshman, the Editor of the Jewish Journal:

Hey Rob,

Dear Rob,

Pre-Shabbos salutations to you.

How are you?

I hope you are well.

I enjoyed watching your wife in "Praying in Her Own Voice."

I can’t wait to pick up the latest issue of the Jewish Journal.

I’m a devoted reader.

Your paper just keeps getting better and better.

I love to share it with all my friends.

It’s the one thing that unites Jews in Los Angeles.

Newspapers are in crisis around the world. More readers are going online for their news and few publishers have figured out a way to make a profit publishing news online.

So how is the Jewish Journal coping? You are not subsidized by the Federation. You don’t have a massive endowment. Is there still going to be a Jewish Journal a year or three years down the line?

As far as I’m concerned, you can fire anyone you want on your staff, just don’t touch Orit.

Is your sense of things that American Jewish weeklies are better situated than mainstream daily newspapers to ride out these problems?

Rob replies:

Dear Luke:

Yes, we are coping.  We are very careful about expenses, which is why the paper can look pretty anemic in summer, when we sell fewer ads,  and why occasionally we have to make very tough choices, though nothing like, heaven forbid, The LA Times.  Our freelancers will also tell you we don’t overpay.  We do try to pay our staff competitively and to provide a good health plan, pension and a nice place to work.

 
We have invested in jewishjournal.com and continue to improve it.  It has the largest online L.A. Jewish community calendar, the largest collection of local Jewish blogs, the only local Jewish reporting, the most comprehensive and up to date lists of kosher restaurants and synagogues.  We employ people to check and recheck these listings so users won’t drive an hour to a place that’s closed or lost its hechsher. Brad Greenberg’s GodBlog at www.jewishjournal.com was named Best Independent Blog by the LA Press Club and one of the best religion blogs in the world by The Times of London.  We are rolling out many new features and many new blogs soon:  life behind the doors of a woman’s yeshiva in Jerusalem, Jewish life on campus, etc.
And we continue to bring the community great voices like Orit, like our newest columnist Marty Kaplan and all our staff writers.  Our latest independent survey reported that only 3 percent of The Journal’s distributed on the street are returned, and that the average readers spends 45 minutes with each issue. Those are good numbers.
But none of this compares to a much more pressing question: When will you lose the beard?
Best,

Rob

I respond:

I’m never losing the beard. I’m not even going to trim it. The Torah’s against it, and as you know, my every deed is governed by G-d’s immutable law.

The one drawback is that chicks don’t dig it.

Rob replies: " I’ll find you a rabbi who’ll not only allow it, but bless it."

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Married Women Should Take On Their Husband’s Last Name

I would not marry a woman who wouldn’t drop her maiden name and take on my last name (I’m aping something said by Dennis Prager).

From YNET News:

Married women should give up their maiden name, Chief Ashkenazi Rabbi Yona Metzger told hundreds of women at a convention Monday dedicated to Jewish family values and religiosity.

"We are currently in an era of permissiveness and there are many messages that create cracks in the Jewish home’s whole structure," the rabbi told the women in attendence

Turning his attention to the question of last names, Rabbi Metzger said that even though this was not a Jewish law issue, but rather, a move that took root in the past 200 years, a woman should stick to the husband’s last name and renounce her maiden name.

"The agenda whereby a woman wants to bring the independent entity of her last name to the home should be reconsidered," the rabbi said. "If this came out of unity it’s one thing…but If there is a message that the woman is an independent entity and the husband is an independent entity, this does not unite the home into a whole home."

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Jews Argue Over The Ethics Of Kashrut

From the Boston Globe:

The raid on Agriprocessors’ Iowa plant has sparked debate in the Jewish community about the role of ethical considerations in the production of kosher food and sets the backdrop against which the moderate Conservative movement will issue guidelines Thursday for an ambitious new "hekhsher tzedek," Hebrew for "certificate of righteousness." The additional stamp would identify producers of kosher foods that meet its standards regarding working conditions, treatment of animals, and the environment.

To Conservative Jewish leaders, the new certification symbolizes the embrace of tradition and modern social concerns that defines the denomination.

"Hekhsher tzedek reminds us that kosher is not just about rituals," said Rabbi Barry Starr of Temple Israel in Sharon, where Cetlin is a member. "That’s a very powerful niche for the Conservative movement."

Federal and state authorities are now investigating complaints of illegal working conditions at Agriprocessors, including allegations, detailed in The New York Times, that underage immigrants worked shifts as long as 17 hours.

"Kosher gives me the sense that it’s a respectful process," said Cetlin, 52. With hekhsher tzedek, the Conservative movement also jockeys for a foothold in a kosher industry dominated by Orthodox Jews, the most traditional branch of Judaism.

Other portions of Jewish law mandate ethical behavior.

Most Orthodox Jews have kosher homes – 86 percent, according to the National Jewish Population Survey – compared with one-quarter of Conservative Jews. Yet because Conservative Jews outnumber Orthodox Jews, they account for one-third of American Jews with kosher homes. Only 5 percent of Reform Jews, the most liberal denomination, keep kosher.

Before the Immigration and Customs Enforcement raid, in which almost 400 workers who were in the country illegally were arrested, Agriprocessors supplied 60 percent of the nation’s kosher beef and 40 percent of the kosher poultry. The production squeeze has been felt here, with purveyors from supermarkets to the Butcherie in Brookline and Larry Levine’s Kosher Meat Market in Peabody, two of the area’s main kosher grocers, filling their gaps with aternative suppliers. Shortly after the raid, United Synagogue suggested that its members seek alternatives to Agriprocessors, and a number of Conservative rabbis preached on the topic and e-mailed members. The Orthodox social justice group Uri L’Tzedek ended its boycott July 8 after Agriprocessors hired a former US attorney to oversee its compliance efforts. The Conservative advisory remains in effect.

"There are few enough kosher meat producers as it is," he said. "We need that company. This month Agriprocessors pledged cooperation with investigators and defended itself in full-page advertisements in a dozen Jewish newspapers around the country, including Boston‘s Jewish Advocate. The Minnesota rabbi spearheading the effort has long made encouraging kosher observance a mainstay of his pulpit. "My belief is more people will buy kosher products with hekhsher tzedek because it speaks to their value system on multiple levels," said Rabbi Morris Allen of Beth Jacob Congregation in suburban St. Paul.

"It’s an insult to all the religious people and the Orthodox people and all the people who have the highest standards," he said. The Orthodox Union, the umbrella organization that is the country’s major certifier of kosher food, is critical, too.

A company indicted or convicted of ethical wrongdoing would lose its approval, said Rabbi Moshe Elefant, chief operating officer of the union’s kosher division. Among Orthodox leaders expressing cautious support is Rabbi Gershon Gewirtz of Young Israel of Brookline, the largest Orthodox congregation in New England. Although Gewirtz opposes boycotting Agriprocessors before allegations of what he terms "absolutely intolerable" behavior are substantiated, he sees a place for a thoughtfully executed hekhsher tzedek.

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