Mazal Tov!

Chaim Amalek emails: “You are a daddy – sort of. A daddy pays child support, and you, to the extent that you are a taxpayer, are set to pay child support for that woman with the six kids who just gave birth to another eight.”

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I Used To Be The Number One ‘Luke’ In The World

I used to Google the word "Luke" and I was the number one result.

Now I’m number seven. I rank behind the Gospel of Luke, Luke Skywalker, Luke the Diagnostic Tool and Luke Air Force Base. How humiliating! These others Lukes are nothing compared to me. It’s so unfair that they rank ahead of me in Google. It must be the rabbis! They’re ganging up on me.

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Luke Needs Viagra For Sex With Hippo

I got this therapy meme (well, actually, someone else did, but I’m taking it) on Facebook: "Here’s how it works: Google “[your first name] needs” and share the first 10 results. That’s it: it is that simple. But be honest! Tag the person who tagged you, and pass it on…"

  1. Star Wars Episode 6: Return of the Jedi Movie Blooper

    Feb 11, 2001 Star Wars Episode 6: Return of the Jedi Movie Blooper : Luke Needs Glasses. Plus Bloopers and mistakes in movies, TV, books, and more.
    www.slipups.com/items/10085.html – 18k – CachedSimilar pages

  2. How is Luke Doing? Great!: Luke needs a touch from God once again!

    Feb 26, 2006 Once again I can not even begin to stress how much prayer Luke needs at this time, I don’t want him to end up in the Hospital again.
    howsluke.blogspot.com/2006/02/luke-needs-touch-from-god-once-again.html – 109k –

    1. Luke’s (Dirty) Fan Club – TWoP Forums

      15 posts – Last post: Mar 8, 2004

      Luke needs to divorce Nicole, and quickly. I just can’t see anything good coming of that relationship. janie jones · View Member Profile
      forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=132387 – 125k – CachedSimilar pages

    2. Luke Needs To Give His Adult Child Child Support? OK. | Tha

      Apr 14, 2008 OK…I don’t know HOW this slipped through the cracks, but OH MY it’s a doozy. The mother of Luther Luke Campbell’s 20 year-old daughter
      thafeedback.com/?p=176 – 43k – CachedSimilar pages

    3. My Name is Luke: Luke needs

      Luke needs to learn his lesson ( the hard way) before he buys anything else from Luke needs to have drop-off runners either side of him all the time.
      lukeee07.blogspot.com/2006/01/luke-needs.html – 21k – CachedSimilar pages

    4. Luke Needs – Australia | Facebook

      Luke Needs (Australia) is on Facebook. Facebook gives people the power to share and makes the world more open and connected. Millions of people use Facebook
      www.facebook.com/people/Luke-Needs/620899899 – 23k – CachedSimilar pages

      1. BB Luke needs ‘Viagra’ for sex with ‘hippo’ | Metro.co.uk

        Jul 3, 2008 More name calling and frustration mounted in the Big Brother house last night when Luke said he would need ‘Viagra’ to sleep with a ‘hippo’
        www.metro.co.uk/bigbrother/article.html?in_article_id=202973&in_page_id=193 – 45k – CachedSimilar pages

      2. Luke Needs An Intervention

        Luke Needs An Intervention. Khunrum emails my advisory committee:. Robert…Fred…You guys live in sunny Cal. You two must make an "Intervention" on Luke.
        lukeford.net/blog/?p=6443 – 24k – CachedSimilar pages

      3. Luke needs a home! – Hudson Valley Pet Adoption – Kijiji Hudson

        i have a few dogs that need to be adopted. we have a great selection of dogs that really need homes. these are all adult dogs, with great personalities.
        hudsonvalley.kijiji.com/c-Pets-Pet-adoption-Luke-needs-a-home-W0QQAdIdZ96086049 – 45k – CachedSimilar pages

      4. Luke needs a home!!!

        Luke needs a home!!! (Superior, WI). Reply to: [email protected] [?] Date: 2009-01-28, 4:45PM CST. Luke is a darling orange and white kitten.
        duluth.craigslist.org/pet/1011678602.html – Similar pages
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My Idiot Rabbi Of The Day – Daniel S. Brenner

He’s boycotting Kellogs for dropping Michael Phelps as a model after the swimmer’s recent string of bad behavior in public.

Rabbi Daniel S. Brenner writes:

I love Special K cereal – it was my mom’s preferred brand when I was growing up (dad liked Shredded Wheat) and I continue to eat it and buy it for my kids. Two of them love it. But daddy isn’t buying it anymore.

When I heard this morning that Kellog’s was pulling their endorsement relationship with swimmer Michael Phelps because of a photograph of him smoking marijuana I knew that it was time to find a new favorite cereal. 

I have strong feelings on this issue for a personal reason. One of my close friends from childhood wrestled with a drug addiction and because he purchased drugs, he ended up in Federal prison. Hundreds of thousands of our tax dollars went to imprisoning him – a non-violent and generally productive member of society – not to mention the devoted father to his young son. What he needed, desperately, was treatment. Instead, our society continues to send the message that if you try drugs, even relatively mild drugs, you should be barred from employment and treated as a pariah. This is the very message that Kellog’s is sending today.

Thirteen years ago one of my friends was killed by a drunk driver. She was visiting her mom and went out with a group of her friends from high school. She was in the back seat of a small car when a drunk driver rear ended them. She was in a coma for two days before she died.

When Phelps was arrested for driving drunk Kellog’s did not think that this was reason to not have him as a spokesman?

In the Talmud, there is a fascinating comment by Rabba bar Channa. He states that if someone has had a little bit to drink, then their prayer is acceptable to God. But if someone has become totally drunk, their prayer is an abomination. If you drink and you get behind the wheel, you are risking your life and the lives of others for no reason. This, to me is the modern parallel to Rabba bar Channa’s concern.

Kellog’s should immediately release a statement explaining why drunk driving was acceptable in their eyes and smoking marijuana is a reason for someone to lose their job. Until they explain their position, I encourage everyone to buy other cereals and to let the Kellog’s corporation know that their public message is rotting our sense of responsibility and morality the way that Frosted Flakes is rotting the teeth of our children.

PS. I did an email interview with Rabbi Daniel Brenner here.

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Israeli Model On Cover Of Sports Illustrated Bathing Suit Issue

It’s nice to remember Israel in happier days:

Photo

Maybe you’ve seen by now the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. (Sinners.) A few months after Bar Refaeli, the Israeli ex-pat, graced the cover of Heeb, she landed one of the best gigs in modeling. Coincidence? Unlikely. Another Heeb model, Esti Ginzburg, made the cut.

Here’s an interview Refaeli did with Time about modeling and Israeli politics:

This was your third year in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. The previous two years, were you sitting there with your fingers crossed?
The first year I didn’t expect it at all. Last year, when they came to Israel, I thought, Hmm, they came to my home country — maybe, you know, there’s a reason for it. But I didn’t get the cover, and it’s O.K. because working with Sports Illustrated is such a big compliment anyway that it’s not even a disappointment. Now that I am on the cover, I understand how exciting it is.

Who was the first person you told?
The first person I called was my mom, because she knew already. So I called to shout at her. She’d known for a few days. I’m like, “How can you do that?“ She always tells me everything.

Is it true you’ve been modeling since you were 8 months old?
Yes. Since I was 8 months old, till I was 12, I did commercials and ads and cute little stuff for kids. Then I had braces on my teeth. They took them off when I was 16, and then I started modeling more seriously and doing more fashion.

Luke says: This model makes me support Israel all the more enthusiastically and refreshes my hopes for the Jewish people. It is important that our children have such a positive role model.

I call a friend.

F: "She’s secular right?"

Luke: "She looks secular in these photos I’m looking at right now, hehe."

F: "Wawawa."

I’d sure like to talk to this Bar Refaeli chick about modesty (or any topic under the sun). It is so important that women dress in a way that does not arouse angry lustful jealous thoughts in men and take their concentration away from the Torah. The following photos illustrate the type of clothing that should not be worn by the God-fearing woman.

Too often Jewish men such as myself turn to shiksas to get our kicks. This is wrong. We should not sexually objectify non-Jewish women.

With this blog post, I am beginning a special project to eroticize Jewish women to Jewish men so that they will marry and have children together and raise them in the paths of righteousness.

So yes, it is a sin to show you the following photos, but I am doing it for the sake of Heaven.

When you look at them and think what it would be like to hook up with Bar Refaeli, please realize that this is only a taste of the ecstasy that awaits you when you get to know HaShem like I do. When I study the Talmud, it is more pleasurable to me than sleeping with a dozen women with the looks of Bar Refaeli. When I engage with the sacred text, it is as though my soul is experiencing peak after peak sensation.

The lures of Torah puts chicks like Bar Refaeli to shame. Her photos are only the palest hint of the joy that awaits those who dedicate themselves to G-d’s will.

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Dennis Prager: ‘Everyone I Know Has Been Turned Down For Credit’

On the first hour of his radio show yesterday, Dennis Prager said: "Everyone I know has been turned down for loans. The banks got all this money but they don’t give out loans. If I were emotional, I’m about to say something I never thought I’d say, I’d say nationalize a lot of banks. But of course not, it would ruin the country. I want to identify with those of you angry at bankers.

"Those of us against the Stimulus Bill but were for TARP (the Bush bailout), we’re told, ‘You don’t understand the Wall Street predators. You have sympathy for big business and big banks.’ I have none. I have sympathy for Americans. I want to read to you something from the Malcolm Gladwell book ‘Outliers.’ Gladwell is an original thinker."

Prager read some of this:

Malcolm Gladwell’s new book, Outliers, has nothing to do with Public Health or Health Care Reform.  In it, though, Gladwell recognizes a phenomenon so singular to American ideology that it can not be ignored when looking at our health care system- and the ways it needs to evolve.

Gladwell discusses Dutch psychologist Geert Hofstedt, who, employed by IBM during the 1960’s and 1970’s, researched global differences in problem solving, working together and attitudes towards authority.  From Gladwell:

“Hofstede argued, for example, that cultures can be usefully distinguished according to how much they expect individuals to look after themselves.  He called that measurement the ‘individualism-collectivism scale.’  The country that scores the highest on the individualism end of that scale in the United States.  Not surprisingly, the United States is also the only industrialized country in the world that does not provide its citizens with universal healthcare.”

Unique to the world, America is defined by the opportunities permitted to those willing to work for them.  The rags to riches stories of Andrew Carnegie, Oprah Winfrey, even our new President, boast of America’s greatest strength, the power and opportunity we bestow on individual citizens.  Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is an ethic honored in American life: individualism working at its best.

Of course, every strength can simultaneously be a weakness, and clearly, our healthcare system is failing under the weight of this individualism.  As reported by Atul Gawande in “Getting There from Here” (New Yorker, January 26, 2009):

“In 2007, 57 million Americans had difficulty paying their medical bills, up fourteen million since 2003.  On average, they had two thousand dollars in medical debt and had been contacted by a collection agency at least once.  Because, in part, of underpayment, half of American hospitals operated at a loss in 2007.  Today large numbers of employers are limiting or dropping insurance coverage in order to stay afloat, or simply going under– even hospitals themselves.”

Dennis Prager: "The collective will take care of us, we are not expected to take care of us, is the rhetoric of the Democrats. That’s why the rights language on the Left runs so deep. Normally you were expected to take care of yourself and your loved ones. If you couldn’t then your family did. If not your family, then your religious group or local community. The federal government was the last resort.

"This Stimulus Bill is to transform America. That’s what Barack Obama set out to do. Barack Obama was elected on [a platform of] transformational change.

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I’m Thinking Of Oiling My Beard

Outside of therapy today, I sat in the sun next to a guy with a big ol’ gash on his left ear. It was all bloody.

We got to talking as I tend to do around people with bloody ears.

He said he used to oil his beard with rosemary and it made it shine.

I’m thinking that’s a good idea. Not sure if I should use rosemary or lavender or musk or what?

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I Despise Rabbis Who Demand To Be Flattered

I know rabbis who are all over-joyed by the sincerity of the goyim they are converting to the one true faith.

What gets me is that these rabbis actually believe what these potential converts tell them about their motives for conversion.

The rabbis want to be flattered in themselves and in their faith and when they hear what they like to hear, they kvell and push the flatterers on through the process when others in the process who are every bit as committed but don’t like to flatter flail.

Then these same rabbis got all disappointed when I wouldn’t mouth the pieties.

Why did I want to convert? "Look, words are cheap," I said. "Motivations, we can’t know our own motivations. Actions speak louder than words. I show up every day. That’s my concrete behavioral commitment to Judaism."

What people tell you when they are under your coercion, when they have no power and you have all the power, should not be believed. It’s just flattery. Yet certain rabbis buy it because it flatters them.

And I’d have to sit there and try to keep a straight face when I was told by the rabbis about the purity of my friends’ conversion motives. My friends are no more pure than I am. They’re just better at kissing rabbinical ass.

Well, screw that. They can all go to hell.

It’s like the flatterers I knew in school who made a point to only study what was going to be on the test and to repeat back to the teachers what they wanted to hear. And they got the As and they got the scholarships and I got told I was a "challenging" student and they didn’t know what to do with me.

Well, screw them too. I’ve got the blog and vengeance will be mine.

Oh, you say that the Torah forbids the taking of vengeance on your fellow Jew. Well, when I was thrown out of shul, that wasn’t vengeance? Oh no, the holy rabbis had far more pious terms for their ejections. It was with a heavy heart. It was for the sake of the holiness of the community. It was for my personal growth. It was for the honor of the Torah. It was for the sake of Heaven.

Well, I say, screw pieties and screw the pietiests who say them. I’ve got the blog and vengeance will be mine.

It’s for the sake of Heaven.

I take no joy in delivering divine karma.

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David Klinghoffer Vs. Little Green Footballs

David blogs:

The popular conservative blogger Little Green Footballs has it in for Darwin doubters and recently called me a near-liar merely for alluding in an article to the well-known Darwin-Hitler connection. He regards the very idea of such a connection as a “creationist” canard. “Klinghoffer’s claim,” comments LGF, “is just short of an outright lie.”

Normally, I think it’s best for friends of ID to avoid a defensive posture and generally let critics say what they want without our always feeling obliged to respond. But here, because LGF is otherwise such an interesting and valuable blog, and because he’s given me an occasion to raise important related questions, I am going to answer him after all.

As of this writing, if you glance at LGF’s tag cloud, you’ll see that he has devoted more items tagged to the topic of “Evolution” in the past 60 days (33 tags) than he has to that of “Militant Islam” (32 tags). That’s significant because LGF came to prominence in the first place after the blog’s author — whose name is Charles Johnson — had his political consciousness transformed in the wake of 9/11. Ever since then, he’s been an outspoken and influential critic of Muslim fundamentalism. He never misses an opportunity to chide liberals for weakness and naivety in the face of Islamic fascism.

I like his blog, including the lovely photos he used to post, shots of the Pacific Ocean from the coast around Los Angeles, a geography I love. He’s also a bicycle enthusiast, so we have that in common. But as I say, he’s not a fan of Discovery Institute (DI). One doesn’t get the sense that he’s contemplated the scientific issues involved very seriously. Instead, his thinking seems to proceed along the following lines.

Advocating an aggressive and confident stance in the confrontation with radical Islam, LGF appears to view any challenge to secularism as a concession to the great Islamic fundamentalist enemy. Since intelligent design’s critique of Darwinism implicitly poses a challenge to one of secularism’s main support pillars, and since secularism (in his view) is a bulwark in the defense of the West, it follows according to a certain stunted logic that blog-warriors arrayed against the Muslim terror threat must also rally in defense of Darwin and against intelligent design.

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