I Despise Rabbis Who Demand To Be Flattered

I know rabbis who are all over-joyed by the sincerity of the goyim they are converting to the one true faith.

What gets me is that these rabbis actually believe what these potential converts tell them about their motives for conversion.

The rabbis want to be flattered in themselves and in their faith and when they hear what they like to hear, they kvell and push the flatterers on through the process when others in the process who are every bit as committed but don’t like to flatter flail.

Then these same rabbis got all disappointed when I wouldn’t mouth the pieties.

Why did I want to convert? "Look, words are cheap," I said. "Motivations, we can’t know our own motivations. Actions speak louder than words. I show up every day. That’s my concrete behavioral commitment to Judaism."

What people tell you when they are under your coercion, when they have no power and you have all the power, should not be believed. It’s just flattery. Yet certain rabbis buy it because it flatters them.

And I’d have to sit there and try to keep a straight face when I was told by the rabbis about the purity of my friends’ conversion motives. My friends are no more pure than I am. They’re just better at kissing rabbinical ass.

Well, screw that. They can all go to hell.

It’s like the flatterers I knew in school who made a point to only study what was going to be on the test and to repeat back to the teachers what they wanted to hear. And they got the As and they got the scholarships and I got told I was a "challenging" student and they didn’t know what to do with me.

Well, screw them too. I’ve got the blog and vengeance will be mine.

Oh, you say that the Torah forbids the taking of vengeance on your fellow Jew. Well, when I was thrown out of shul, that wasn’t vengeance? Oh no, the holy rabbis had far more pious terms for their ejections. It was with a heavy heart. It was for the sake of the holiness of the community. It was for my personal growth. It was for the honor of the Torah. It was for the sake of Heaven.

Well, I say, screw pieties and screw the pietiests who say them. I’ve got the blog and vengeance will be mine.

It’s for the sake of Heaven.

I take no joy in delivering divine karma.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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