Andrew Breitbart Was 43

I met Andrew through Cathy Seipp in 2002 and the last time I saw him was at her funeral in 2007.

During those five years, Andrew and I were at the same parties about 50 times and we had many conversations.

In late 2007, I gave up on making my living from blogging and our paths diverged. We occasionally stayed in touch online.

Mickey Kaus kept blogging that one day all of us would work for Andrew Breitbart.

(Andrew often said that “Mickey is smarter than all of us.”)

I interviewed Breitbart twice for my blog — in 2004 and in 2009.

There was no difference between Andrew’s public and private persona (except that in public he took the normal precautions to preserve important relationships).

Around 2004, he took me to dinner at the Magic Carpet and then we walked Pico Blvd and talked about our plans. He wanted to make a big impact on the world for conservative values. He was thinking about making a documentary. He wondered if we could do anything together.

We were pioneering bloggers who’d felt for years that we were the future of journalism. We’d tasted some success but wanted much more.

We were scruffy and disreputable and yearning for acclaim.

We were looking for our niche. “Blogger” was not sufficient.

Andrew badly wanted to be a pundit. I badly wanted out of porn. We both wanted mainstream success and respectability. We had inexhaustible appetites for attention and we were willing to brawl online to get it.

Breitbart was not satisfied with his present position at the Drudge Report, even though it allowed him to provide well for his family.

Andrew told me many things off-the-record (which leading conservative thinkers were gay, how the Drudge Report got many of its scoops, etc) and he appreciated that I always respected that status. He talked about the leading conservative intellectuals who’d push for play on DrudgeReport.com. He was careful about his relationship with Matt Drudge and wanted to make sure that I would never reveal anything that would damage that.

Trusting me with all sorts of damaging information, Andrew demonstrated a deep capacity for friendship. We only had positive interactions. When I heard about Andrew falling out with people I knew, I instinctively took Andrew’s side (though I knew he was tempestuous and a loose cannon).

The conservative blogger sometimes said to me that he wished he could be religious but that he had no natural inclination in that direction. We never talked about dying or the next life. He never displayed any concern about his health (though the well-being of his family was always a top priority).

Andrew made a bigger impact on the American body politic then he imagined during our dinner in 2004.

He would be thrilled at all the attention he’s received today (and over the past three years).

The second to last time I heard from Andrew was via AIM on Dec. 30, 2010. He said this Die Antwoord video was the freakiest thing he’d ever seen.

The last time I heard from Andrew was via AIM on Feb. 17, 2011. He was pushing the Pigford scandal.

What sticks in my mind about Andrew was how generous he was. For instance, he was always generous with his opinions. Our conversations were 90% Andrew and 10% me. That was fine as I didn’t know as many people as he did and didn’t have as much gossip.

I learned through blogging that my gift is not in advocacy, and so as I’ve aged, I’ve felt less and less need to share my opinions.

Andrew loved to talk and I loved to listen. He was far more successful than I was and I wanted to know more about how he did it.

I was not so much interested in his ideas as in his observations, particularly the gossipy ones. Andrew was more of an activist than an intellectual.

Though our political and cultural views were virtually identical, Andrew was far more partisan. Politics played the same role in Andrew’s life as religion did in mine. As I went to shul almost every day, Andrew went to political battle.

Because I agreed with him, it was easy for me to love Andrew. If I were a left-winger, however, it would be hard not to hate Andrew Breitbart.

We were both interested in and affected by the porn industry. Andrew had watched a great deal of Cinemax growing up and he respected a great set even when they were bestowed on political adversaries such as Susan Sarandon.

Behaviorally, Andrew was monogamous. Intellectually, he had to know.

His mission in life was to take down the left.

I never saw Andrew at peace. His life was always drama.

Andrew and I were sad about Cathy’s terminal lung cancer. It never occurred to either of us that we too could go in our 40s.

Here are some of my past references to Andrew on my blog:

February, 2002: “I chat with Andrew Breitbart, assistant to Matt Drudge. He’s listened to Dennis Prager almost daily since 1991, about the same length of time as me.”

February, 2005: “11pm. I walk out with Sandra Tsing Loh and Andrew Breitbart. Andrew insists that Sandra opens up the vodka bottle she won during the night’s festivities and they start taking shots on the street. The bouncer quite properly moves them along.”

April, 2005: “While locked in an intense discussion about “tumescence” with Andrew Breitbart (he didn’t know the meaning of the word), I found my hand smushing something soft and inviting. I looked over and noticed I was fondling Jackie’s breast in front of her fiance Antoine (the only white guy I’ve met with that name). Neither of them minded and neither did I.”

I believe the first time I had an extended conversation with Andrew was at a party I went to in 2002 at the Culver City apartment of Wired’s Noah Shachtman.

Our interaction that night set the template for our future — Andrew would hold forth and I would hold on.

I grew up an evangelical Seventh-Day Adventist and Andrew’s conversion fervor was familiar to me.

Noah writes today:

…But I knew a different Andrew Breitbart, the one before he started his eponymous series of conservative websites, before he co-founded the left-wing Huffington Post, and before became a best-selling author. In the middle of the 2000s, Breitbart was still the (largely) hidden hand behind the uber-popular Drudge Report. He was a partisan back then, a deep one. But he was more interested in shooting the shit with friends than in picking political fights.

Back then, Breitbart was at the center of a remarkable journalistic scene in Los Angeles, where every reporter — left-wing and right, two-bit porno-bloggers and high-powered Los Angeles Times columnists — all had a place. Zany, self-depreciating, unkempt, potty-mouthed and magnetic, Breitbart was impossible to dislike. He could talk to anybody, and he did. He loved cheesy ’80s music in inverse proportion to the bands’ quality. His poker playing was charmingly abysmal. His wife and enormous brood of kids were radiant. He saw himself as a high school nerd, about to wreak vengeance on the press’s popular kids with his new media plays. I felt not dissimilarly, at the time. We cemented a friendship there, even if it meant occasionally enduring some rant about Al Sharpton. It was one of the happiest periods of my life.

This article in BuzzFeed about Breitbart’s contributions to the Huffington post rings true to me:

“He taught us a lot of things early on,” Peretti said, recalling how Breitbart showed them key features of the media ecosystem. “He explained about looking at the British newspapers late at night because they would sometimes break news before the U.S. papers. He cared about getting links up seconds or minutes faster than other publications and was obsessive about that.”
Breitbart was also a font of ideas, not all of which made it into practice.
“He wanted every commenter to have to pay $1 to comment, and the dollar would go to charity but the user’s true identity would be authenticated through a credit card,” Peretti recalled, noting that the idea prefigures current attempts to authenticate identity online.
He also proposed “a phone number where celebrities could call in and leave voice blogs that would automatically appear on the site ,” Peretti recalled. “He wanted that built before launch, and launch was four days away.”
His creativity, as many who worked with him know, could be hard to contain.
“He was just incredibly difficult to have in the office – he was totally ADD and would jump from idea to idea. He would spend hours playing fantasy baseball during the day. He was incredibly good at fantasy baseball,” Peretti said, but then started talking to another Huffington Post employee about starting a fantasy baseball company amid the Huffington Post launch.

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The Anatomy Of A Panic Attack

Are there places you can’t go in case you have a panic attack? Are there things you can’t do for fear of panic?

A few Alexander Technique lessons will help most people to let go of panic attacks.

I had a girlfriend who could not go to courts or hospitals for fear of a panic attack.

“If you’d free your neck and think up, you wouldn’t have a panic attack,” I said to her.

My advice did not go over well. She just got mad at me.

It’s always easier to get mad at others rather than to take responsibility for your own situation.

So what happens when you have a panic attack?

The first thing that you notice will be a flooding sensation of fear, but you won’t get this without certain physiological responses to a stimulus.

If your neck is free and you have upward direction through your torso, in other words, if you are buoyant, you won’t be disabled by fear. To truly experience fear, you have to tighten and to compress your neck and to pull down and in on yourself. As you tighten up and compress, shoving your anxiety into your gut where the bile will likely flow up in reaction to your clenching, you’ll be flooded by fear and other unpleasant symptoms such as a racing heart.

With your neck and torso tight and your shoulders hunched, your lungs will have less room to expand and breath will become more difficult.

By contrast, if you refuse to tighten and to compress your neck, and instead expand into activity, your torso lengthening and widening and your face free of compression and your limbs loose, you’ll be tranquil. You won’t be a drama queen. You won’t need to demand that everybody pay attention to you and submit to your emotional and physiological blackmail.

Wikipedia says: “First, there is frequently (but not always) the sudden onset of fear with little provoking stimulus. This leads to a release of adrenaline (epinephrine) which brings about the so-called fight-or-flight response wherein the person’s body prepares for strenuous physical activity. This leads to an increased heart rate (tachycardia), rapid breathing (hyperventilation) which may be perceived as shortness of breath (dyspnea), and sweating (which increases grip and aids heat loss). Because strenuous activity rarely ensues, the hyperventilation leads to a drop in carbon dioxide levels in the lungs and then in the blood. This leads to shifts in blood pH (respiratory alkalosis or hypocapnia), which in turn can lead to many other symptoms, such as tingling or numbness, dizziness, burning and lightheadedness. Moreover, the release of adrenaline during a panic attack causes vasoconstriction resulting in slightly less blood flow to the head which causes dizziness and lightheadedness.”

Greg Leake emails: Hi Luke,
I’ ve been keeping up a little with your directions and discussions about the Alexander Technique. I distinctly remember some occasions when proper body mechanics and awareness of the direction of my head helped put some panic attacks in abeyance.

On one occasion I remember looking across to the other side of the ring and not being particularly pleased by what I saw. In addition to having a mean disposition, the gentlemen on the other side of the ring had a washboard stomach, defined pectoral, muscular deltoids and arms, and a bull neck.

As the bell rang and he came forward, I immediately remembered my proper head mechanics. I tucked my chin downward to press against my chest in a cramped position so that I would not be hit in the chin and get knocked out.

With my left foot forward I shuffled forward, with my weight balanced between my forward left foot and the toes of my right foot.

As he began to swing, I felt a rise in tachycardia and a certain amount of hyperventilation, amplified by the mouthpiece clenched between my teeth to prevent those same teeth from being knocked out.

I slipped his left jab to the outside position. This is actually a movement done with the body and the feet, not the head. Now as I was on the outside guard position, my head was in rough proximity to his left elbow. Wishing to encourage him to feel that his head was moving upward and forward, I hit him in the chin with a left uppercut. This encouraged his head to move upward, whereupon i swung my body in an arc and hit him with a right hook in an attempt to remove the head that I had helped to move to a more Alexander-Technique-approved position. As he was now wide open, I hit him with a left hook on the other side of the face, moving from the initial Jack Dempsey combination to a popular Mike Tyson combination.

As he lay on the floor, i began to feel a sense of well-being. My tachycardia and hyperventilation began to diminish because of my proper use of good body mechanics.

Learning to increase body inhibition and placing the head and torso into a constrained position was a big help to me that day, and as a consequence I became a big believer in the proper use of the body to help overcome social awkwardness, inhibition, and physical tension.

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Practicing Massage Requires Good Body Mechanics

In this podcast, Jano Cohen, an Alexander Technique teacher and Massage Therapist in Philadelphia talks to Robert Rickover about ways the Alexander Technique can help Massage Therapists.

Jano: “Practicing massage is an athletic endeavor that requires good body mechanics. In a lot of massage training programs, they teach people how to use their bodies well, but not in the sophisticated way the Alexander Technique offers.”

Robert: “I’ve worked with massage therapists and noticed an over-use of hands, shoulders and arm muscles.”

Jano: “When you allow your whole body to be behind each movement you make, it’s a lot less effort.”

Robert: “There’s a pretty high burn-out rate in that profession.”

Jano: “When people are tense, their joints are often stiff and they can’t listen to what is going on in somebody else’s body. People react to that tense touch by stiffening. So there’s a lack of movement back and forth.”

“When people get help with Alexander Technique, there’s an improved flow in the body. Your touch is much softer and more sensual. When you touch someone that way, they receive a soft sensual touch and are able to relax. The practitioner can hear more and listen deeper into the body. When there’s a block or armoring in the body, it’s harder to hear what is going on but with soft hands, you can penetrate that armor with gentleness and before they know it, they’re already releasing and following.”

Robert: “I’ve noticed that massage therapists tend to lose awareness of themselves and it all goes into their client.”

Jano: “Massage, like Alexander Technique, is a partnership. The client is contributing to the partnership. To help the client, the practitioner must be the best they can be, but also for themselves. You do not need to give up yourself for the other person. This is a boundary issue. Whatever you do in life, it’s important that you stand your own ground and that you care for yourself. It’s a modeling for the other person. It’s also a way of meeting the client as a full self.

“If you degrade your own body and forget about yourself while you work with someone else, that does not help them. It does not bring them into the world in a better way.”

“The way you think about yourself comes across to the other person. When people come to practitioners, they often have transference issues from their parenting. Maybe they’re in a job where somebody is dominating them and they’ve come to expect this from a person of authority.

“An Alexander Technique teacher is not a separate authority but a person offering a facility, not dominating the other person. They’re teaching the person that they can come to the partnership in a safe way. A partnership where there’s less and less tension and people are more open and connecting to each other in a flowing, organic way that does not require force or manipulation or domineering.”

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Fear Makes You Contract, Love Makes You Expand

When you’re afraid, you tighten up. The contraction will start in your neck and then spread to the rest of you. You compress, make yourself smaller, less of a target, and go into some version of the fight-or-flight reflex.

When you’re afraid, it will be hard to reach out to others. Your touch will be less pleasant. Your verbal and emotional expression will be curtailed.

By contrast, when you love, you expand. You swell up and take your full space in the world. The neck frees up, the head releases forward and up to take a poised relationship to your spine.

Conversely, when you pull down and in on yourself, you’re going to have more access to the emotions of fear, hatred, sadness and depression. By contrast, when you expand into activity, you’ll have more access to the emotions of joy, love and tranquility.

Every emotion requires a particular alignment of the body. When you use your muscles in a certain way, certain emotions are readily at hand while others are out of touch.

It’s not that emotions, thoughts and muscles are connected but that they are all part of the same thing — you. Your brain is part of your body. What you think affects the degree of muscle tension. Your emotions, thoughts and muscles are constantly affecting each other.

You can take the path of love to expansion or you can expand into love. Or you can lose consciousness of yourself and slip into pulling down and into depression.

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How The Alexander Technique Can Help You Learn A Foreign Language

Robert Rickover tells Harriet Anderson: “When learning a foreign language, there are pronunciations that are usually foreign. I wish I’d had Alexander lessons when I was taking French in high school. It would’ve saved me a world of grief.”

Harriet: “First, as learning to learn. Learning a transferable skill. Learning to unlearn and learning to relearn. When we learn a foreign language as adults, we’ve been imprinted with our mother tongue. So it is important to unlearn the muscle patterns which make for specific pronunciation.

“The Technique can help us learn new muscle patterns to make new sounds.”

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Did Fred Astaire Get Bored?

In this podcast, Alexander teacher Amy Ward Brimmer talks to Robert Rickover about how the Technique can help with boredom.

Robert: “One aspect of boredom is not being in the moment and self-aware but being in some other state.”

Amy: “Whenever I’ve been aware and in the present moment, there’s always been a whole lot going on. Boredom is being disconnected from the present moment. Boredom is the way we shut off.”

“Whenever I’m bored, I’m collapsing. I’m pulling down and in on myself. Alexander work gives me the opportunity to wake up and to notice how am I breathing?”

Robert: “I notice kids fiddling in a bored way with their iPhones or electronic equipment. They’re trying to find something to engage them. They often exhibit the worst aspects of their posture at that point. Curled over.”

Amy: “Kids lying around the house will say, I’m bored.”

Robert: “Just look at their bodies when they say that.”

Amy: “Just completely slumped. Almost defeated.”

“My response as a parent to that ‘I’m bored’ complaint is to offer activities. That never works.

“Boredom is a form of resistance to what is.”

Robert: “If you look at Fred Astaire in movies, he’s totally present. It would be interesting to ask Fred Astaire if he ever got bored.”

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Black women heavier, happier with their bodies

The Washington Post reports: “According to a recent poll, black women are heavier than their white counterparts, but they also report having appreciably higher levels of self-esteem.”

That’s super-duper, but if you’re heavy, every movement will take more effort. You won’t look as attractive. Other people will be more likely to shun you than if you were normal-sized. Your health will be impaired along with your social standing. You’ll have a harder time getting and keeping a man.

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Why Is Change So Slow In Alexander Lessons?

When I started taking Alexander Technique lessons in 2008, I became frustrated that change was so slow.

I remained frustrated for a couple of years until I finally felt at ease.

In this podcast, Alexander teachers Robert Rickover and Eileen Troberman discuss the rate of change.

A 20 year old kid asked Marj Barstow why did he have to keep coming back to workshops. Why couldn’t he just get it more quickly? And Marj told him, your body couldn’t take it.

Eileen: “People can not change fast.”

“We recognize ourselves by our tension. Our tension patterns are what feels like us to us. Without that, we don’t feel like us. It takes a while to realize that that is not us, it is just tension.”

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Torah Talk! Parashat Tetzaveh (Exodus 27:20-30:10)

Rabbi Rabbs, Luke Ford (Levi Ben Avraham) discuss this week’s Torah portion. They also tackle whether or not the rabbi is gay. The rabbi’s parents believe so. Do straight men watch the Oscars? Luke says no.
Is illegally downloading movies morally acceptable? What does the Torah say? Is it theft?
What type of people talk in shul? The difference in shul etiquette between relative newcomers (converts, baalei teshuva) and those who are Orthodox from birth (FFB). How to score at shul vs. getting the score in shul.

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Alexander Exercise For Amazing Orgasms!

Just kidding! There’s no such exercise as far as I know.

How am I, a humble Alexander teacher, going to compete with videos like this?

The path of the righteous is a lonely one.

Maybe I could prescribe active rest before lovemaking and talk about how it draws energy up your body and opens your heart and rejuvenates your cells and increases your vitality, blah, blah.

In this podcast, Alexander teacher Constance Clare Newman talks about how Alexander can stimulate your love life. But she’s about the only Alexander teacher who will talk publicly about such a sexy topic. While the politics of Alexander teachers tends to lean left, we’re quite conservative in the way we speak about our work. Alexander Technique has no legal standing (unlike the practice of law and medicine) and thus Alexander teachers tend to be insecure and careful about their public image. You’re not going to find Alexander teachers promising cures or recommending tantric exercises for amazing orgasms.

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