My new Ultravision Quickcam from Logitech has night vision, so I left it on all night as I slept, or more particularly, did not sleep, afraid I’d do something obscene that would forever shame the Jewish people.
My alarm went off at 6:30 a.m. so I could go to shul and pray.
Getting out of the shower, I realized my towel was not in the bathroom. Looking around for coverage, I could find only a small hand towel on the fridge. No way would this be big enough to cover what I have to offer the world. So I waved it around strategically — trying not to get too excited and enlarge my problem — as I dashed to my towel and back.
After pulling on my tzitzit, I checked my chat room. Nobody was awake enough to have caught my involuntary show.
Thank G-d for small blessings.
On the downside, there was no content there for me to cut and paste after my hard night of tossing and turning.
YHWH: luke do you consider yourself a prophet?
YourMoralLeader: a bit
RussianDragon: the devil is speaking again
RussianDragon: creepy
YHWH: every time you go for that jug, it knocks your sound around
YHWH: you’re hitting a wire or cable every time you pickup the jub of urine
QuietStorm: green tea for the soul
guest528: hes making me dizzy…………….
RussianDragon: it’s the sulfure
YHWH: how much does this cam cost Luke?
YHWH: is ti free?
RussianDragon: hubble, bubble, toil and trouble I cast my spell tonight
YHWH: i mean the feed
YHWH: not the cam itselfr
QuietStorm: it’s free YHWH
RamBam: Do you shake a woman’s hand when you meet her?
RussianDragon: only when he w**ks himself before
guest531: Luke, you need to shave! You’re starting to look like the Unabomber
RussianDragon: he’s thinking about if he is left or right handed or both
YourMoralLeader: try to avoid shaking hands iwth women
YourMoralLeader: it could lead to dancing
QuietStorm: what is the purpose of that Luke?
RamBam: Because they could be niddah, QuietStorm
QuietStorm: oh ok
RussianDragon: so a hand leads to sex
RussianDragon: that’s novel
RussianDragon: i should shake hands more
RussianDragon: with women
RamBam: And, she could be menstrating.
RussianDragon: eeeeew
QuietStorm: but why then do you flirt with some of the women who come here Luke?
RussianDragon: it’s on her hand or what
YourMoralLeader: I can’t help it
RussianDragon: i think women are cleaner than men
RamBam: No touching a woman until 7 days after menstration stops.
YourMoralLeader: it’s spiritual impurity
RussianDragon: men can easily go to crap and then not wash their hands
QuietStorm: isn’t that inconsistant?
RussianDragon: what’s so spirtualy impure about menstruatinf
RamBam: all touching of an affectionate nature is rabbinically forbidden in niddah
RussianDragon: i find women are more sexually responsive during menstruation
RussianDragon: i just need to shower more :p
YourMoralLeader: http://www.lukeford.net/archives/updates/080325.htm
YourMoralLeader: my torah parsha commentary
RamBam: Are you going to study to be a rabbi?
QuietStorm: I don’t understand how it’s worse to touch a woman "physically" than to emotionally touch them and lead them on
RussianDragon: so basically jews don’t touch their menstruating wifes or gf’s
YourMoralLeader: I’d like to
RussianDragon: you could be spiritually soiled
RamBam: no sound can’t hear your pounding rant
RussianDragon: he is a cultleader not a rabbi
RamBam: A rabbi can be a cult leader. Jesus, for example.
QuietStorm: RamBam, can you explain my question to me?
RussianDragon: well luke is the less moral type of cultleader
RamBam: What was your question?
RussianDragon: is he going to become a rabbi
RussianDragon: so he can preach to the under 18
QuietStorm: why is it worse to touch a woman "physically" than to touch them emotionally by leading them on?
RussianDragon: WE CANNOT HEAR YOU LUKE
RamBam: NO SOUND LUKE. NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU.
RussianDragon: DO NOT RANT
RussianDragon: WE DO NOT HEAR YOU 🙂
RamBam: It’s considered a ritual impurity.
QuietStorm: sounds totally inconsistant to me….oh well…..
QuietStorm: maybe Luke can teach me
RamBam: women were considered ritually impure as a result of menstruation.
RussianDragon: but why
RamBam: It’s not based on consistancy.
RussianDragon: i don’t see the point
RussianDragon: well men are impure after crapping
QuietStorm: but I am referring to being spiritually clean
RussianDragon: that’s more logical to me
RussianDragon: well why the difference
RamBam: Yes. Men are unpure after crapping and have to wash.
RussianDragon: i should learn more about the torah
RussianDragon: and the jewish ideas
QuietStorm: RamBam, have you ever taken the time to learn of other religions?
RamBam: The problem with menstration is its harder to tell when it starts and stops.
RamBam: Yes. I used to be a Buddhist
QuietStorm: and why did you change RamBam?
RamBam: In many ways I haven’t changed.
