I came home from a long night at the LA Press Club and find a crowd growing in my cam chat room.
Due to popular demand, I sing Air Supply’s "Making Love out of Nothing at all" and then dance the disco chicken before going to bed.
It was a big hit.
User YourMoralLeader entered the room.
RonJeremy: hi Luke
RonJeremy: I’m a big fan of yours
RonJeremy: you have some similarities to me
LukeFordsAntiPornCrusader: How are you?
YourMoralLeader: good, u?
LukeFordsAntiPornCrusader: good……..thanks. I have up to the usual: spreading cheer and incurable diseases.
AirSupplyLuva: Hey there
AirSupplyLuva: Why so glum?
AirSupplyLuva: And serious.
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Dude, who are you listening to?
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Dude, why do you look so down?
AirSupplyLuva: Ah, I saw a bit of a smile there.
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Where’s your ever present smile? How are you going to charm the ladies with that smile?>
AirSupplyLuva: Is that Moral or Oral Leader?
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Luke………….Levi………………………………….respond, belch………sing……………grunt……..sing………
LindaRonstandtsVoice: HOw are you?
YourMoralLeader: good, workin, listening to dennis prager
AirSupplyLuva: Ah… There’s that famous smile
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Is he the voice of West Hollywood?
RonJeremy: Luke please confirm that your site is staying exactly as is
AirSupplyLuva: And look he has teeth too.
YourMoralLeader: yes, is
RonJeremy: with the only difference being the moral leader title
LindaRonstandtsVoice: He does have teeth.
YourMoralLeader: not even that will change
AirSupplyLuva: Do you know that from personal experience Linda?
AirSupplyLuva: I mean that he has teeth.
RonJeremy: why did SW tell you to change that
YourMoralLeader: he did not, it was only a joke from the spitzer speech
User guest104 left the room.
YourMoralLeader: do you guys need a song?
AirSupplyLuva: Yes we do. Please sing for us oh Moral Leader.
YourMoralLeader: which one?
AirSupplyLuva: AIR SUPPLY PLEASE
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Do people in Australia sing before they throw bumerrangs?
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Yes…………..AIR SUPPLY…………..
LindaRonstandtsVoice: I second that.
User guest111 changed their name to Matt.
Matt: hi Luke
AirSupplyLuva: Lost in Love… Please
AirSupplyLuva: Oooo… he is so excited.
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Is that the famous Matt who runs the bakery on 4th street?
User maven left the room.
AirSupplyLuva: I am.
Matt: Luke, what’s up
LindaRonstandtsVoice: You should have been a rock star!
AirSupplyLuva: Chazan you are not.
AirSupplyLuva: I feel hungry
Matt: better then avshalom katz could do
LindaRonstandtsVoice: With a voice like that……………you could put Pavorotti out of business!
AirSupplyLuva: A successor to David Hung, of American Idol infamy.
YourMoralLeader: yo dude
Matt: are you gonig to the jconnect party on purim
AirSupplyLuva: Now you look 11 years old.
YourMoralLeader: too expensive
LindaRonstandtsVoice: The jconnect party is bogus Matt.
Matt: what’s bogus about it?
AirSupplyLuva: Aish is where it’s at guys.
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Same people as last year; just as boring.
AirSupplyLuva: Or Ba Ba Sally.
Matt: Linda, I guess you didn’t get laid as a result of gonig ot that party last year
AirSupplyLuva: Or Ram Das’ place.
guest112: Rock dog
AirSupplyLuva: He dances too.
AirSupplyLuva: Dude, we have no lives.
guest112: I don’t like to mince words but you shouldn’t sing. HA!
AirSupplyLuva: Yes please.
LindaRonstandtsVoice: This definitely makes him our moral leader
Matt: linda, what’s your real name
Matt: do you know me by the way
LindaRonstandtsVoice: I am nameless…………
guest112: He is drunk or in love
YourMoralLeader: I luve you guys!
LindaRonstandtsVoice: This morning, a lady asked me, "may I have your name?" So, I gave it to her….
Matt: Linda, if a guest porn star shows up to the jocnnect, will that entice you to go
AirSupplyLuva: A guest starlet???
Matt: make luke can lighten up the party with his connection and bring in a guest
LindaRonstandtsVoice: I need more than that……..
AirSupplyLuva: Some YULA girl in drag
LindaRonstandtsVoice: That would work. If it’s one of luke’s porn babes, I’ll go.
Matt: or the theme of a nudist colony
LindaRonstandtsVoice: I like a YULA girl……….
Matt: everyone there nude
Matt: in the story of purim everyone was nude in achashveyrosh’s palace
AirSupplyLuva: We could play hide the hamentashin
AirSupplyLuva: I mean hamen tush en
Matt: don’t hide the popy seed ones
guest112: Love is a strange nd curious thing….makes you crazy and sing like a mad man
Matt: of the plain ones
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Luke, have you been bathing your spirit in legalisms on Shabbos lately?
Matt: humantasin look very much like vaginas
AirSupplyLuva: You’re not a mikva boy are you Luke?
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Or am I justified by faith alone?
AirSupplyLuva: LOL Matt
AirSupplyLuva: Very funny, you are right
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Luke, ever done an aborigine?
guest112: So you know other music? What is an aborginne? Is it dirty?
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Does that make your feel deprived?
AirSupplyLuva: I hear they have a chabad rabbi in aborgine land.
AirSupplyLuva: Don’t we all.
AirSupplyLuva: Blow my digireedu.
guest112: Oh wait I knew that and you have never had some woobla(sp?)? What is your vice
AirSupplyLuva: I don’t know how to spell.
guest112: Why Are you so giddy then?
Matt: Luke when will you start gonig back to Yicc, Chabad and BJ?
AirSupplyLuva: He’s sitting on Hamen’s nose.
Matt: you need to take a stand and show up to all of them and show them whose boss
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Luke, what language do indigenous people of Australia speak?
Matt: they speak Aw-See
AirSupplyLuva: Google that Linda.
YourMoralLeader: Matt, when they let me in
AirSupplyLuva: Our moral leader’s mind is far too precious.
Matt: they won’t just let you in
Matt: you have to take charge
Matt: you got to force your way in
YourMoralLeader: with my big bad blog?
AirSupplyLuva: Forcing is never a good idea.
Matt: your blog is accurate and only means well
AirSupplyLuva: Our leader is a peaceful man.
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Matt, who is the prettiest chick in the hood? You have been there for a long time.
Matt: if these people running the shows are pussys that’s their problem, not yours
YourMoralLeader: I’m a lover not a fighter
AirSupplyLuva: That’s my man
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Like Rodney Dangerfied?
LindaRonstandtsVoice: Your Moral LeaderI’m Luke Ford and I want to be Your Moral Leader. Watch me wrap tefillin, study Torah and engineer sweeping moral change. I write the website Lukeford.net.
AirSupplyLuva: Is sweeping moral change allowed on Shabbat?
AirSupplyLuva: sweeping is one of the malachas
YourMoralLeader: no it is not
YourMoralLeader: just be
AirSupplyLuva: How about oogaling? Is that allowed on Shabbat?
YourMoralLeader: yes discretely
AirSupplyLuva: What about if there’s a machitza involved?
AirSupplyLuva: At kiddush though?
YourMoralLeader: ok if discrete
AirSupplyLuva: What about before saying kiddush at kiddush?
AirSupplyLuva: So do you have any opinions on the Spitzer affair?
AirSupplyLuva: ML is enjoying himself.
YourMoralLeader: yeah, it’s hilarious
AirSupplyLuva: Have a Good Shabbos Luke?
YourMoralLeader: and u too
AirSupplyLuva: Any future plans for that beard? Trimming perhaps?
AirSupplyLuva: A little manicuring never hurt.
AirSupplyLuva: I trim.