I Make Love Out Of Nothing At All

I came home from a long night at the LA Press Club and find a crowd growing in my cam chat room.

Due to popular demand, I sing Air Supply’s "Making Love out of Nothing at all" and then dance the disco chicken before going to bed.

It was a big hit.

User YourMoralLeader entered the room.
YourMoralLeader:  welcome

RonJeremy:  hi Luke
RonJeremy:  I’m a big fan of yours
RonJeremy:  you have some similarities to me
LukeFordsAntiPornCrusader:  How are you?
YourMoralLeader:  good, u?
LukeFordsAntiPornCrusader:  good……..thanks. I have up to the usual: spreading cheer and incurable diseases.
AirSupplyLuva:  Hey there
AirSupplyLuva:  Why so glum?
AirSupplyLuva:  And serious.
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Dude, who are you listening to?
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Dude, why do you look so down?

AirSupplyLuva:  Ah, I saw a bit of a smile there.
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Where’s your ever present smile? How are you going to charm the ladies with that smile?>
AirSupplyLuva:  Is that Moral or Oral Leader?
YourMoralLeader:  yo
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Luke………….Levi………………………………….respond, belch………sing……………grunt……..sing………
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  HOw are you?
YourMoralLeader:  good, workin, listening to dennis prager
AirSupplyLuva:  Ah… There’s that famous smile
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Is he the voice of West Hollywood?
RonJeremy:  Luke please confirm that your site is staying exactly as is
AirSupplyLuva:  And look he has teeth too.
YourMoralLeader:  yes, is
RonJeremy:  with the only difference being the moral leader title
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  He does have teeth.
YourMoralLeader:  not even that will change
AirSupplyLuva:  Do you know that from personal experience Linda?
AirSupplyLuva:  I mean that he has teeth.
RonJeremy:  why did SW tell you to change that
YourMoralLeader:  he did not, it was only a joke from the spitzer speech
User guest104 left the room.
YourMoralLeader:  do you guys need a song?
AirSupplyLuva:  Yes we do. Please sing for us oh Moral Leader.
YourMoralLeader:  which one?
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Do people in Australia sing before they throw bumerrangs?
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Yes…………..AIR SUPPLY…………..
YourMoralLeader:  yes
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  I second that.
User guest111 changed their name to Matt.
Matt:  hi Luke
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Luke……………………………
AirSupplyLuva:  Lost in Love… Please
AirSupplyLuva:  Oooo… he is so excited.
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Is that the famous Matt who runs the bakery on 4th street?
User maven left the room.
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  yes
AirSupplyLuva:  I am.
Matt:  Luke, what’s up
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  You should have been a rock star!
AirSupplyLuva:  Chazan you are not.
AirSupplyLuva:  LOL
AirSupplyLuva:  I feel hungry
Matt:  better then avshalom katz could do
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  With a voice like that……………you could put Pavorotti out of business!
AirSupplyLuva:  A successor to David Hung, of American Idol infamy.
YourMoralLeader:  yo dude
YourMoralLeader:  matt
Matt:  are you gonig to the jconnect party on purim
AirSupplyLuva:   Now you look 11 years old.
YourMoralLeader:  too expensive
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  The jconnect party is bogus Matt.
Matt:  what’s bogus about it?
AirSupplyLuva:  Aish is where it’s at guys.
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Same people as last year; just as boring.
AirSupplyLuva:  Or Ba Ba Sally.
Matt:  Linda, I guess you didn’t get laid as a result of gonig ot that party last year
AirSupplyLuva:  Or Ram Das’ place.
guest112:  Rock dog
AirSupplyLuva:  He dances too.
AirSupplyLuva:  Dude, we have no lives.
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  ohhhhhhhhh………..yes
guest112:  I don’t like to mince words but you shouldn’t sing. HA!
AirSupplyLuva:  Yes please.
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  This definitely makes him our moral leader
Matt:  linda, what’s your real name
Matt:  do you know me by the way
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  I am nameless…………
guest112:  He is drunk or in love
YourMoralLeader:  I luve you guys!
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  This morning, a lady asked me, "may I have your name?" So, I gave it to her….

Matt:  Linda, if a guest porn star shows up to the jocnnect, will that entice you to go
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Naw…………..
AirSupplyLuva:  A guest starlet???
Matt:  make luke can lighten up the party with his connection and bring in a guest
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  I need more than that……..
AirSupplyLuva:  Some YULA girl in drag
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  That would work. If it’s one of luke’s porn babes, I’ll go.
Matt:  or the theme of a nudist colony
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  I like a YULA girl……….
Matt:  everyone there nude
Matt:  in the story of purim everyone was nude in achashveyrosh’s palace
AirSupplyLuva:  We could play hide the hamentashin
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  lol
AirSupplyLuva:  I mean hamen tush en
Matt:  don’t hide the popy seed ones
guest112:  Love is a strange nd curious thing….makes you crazy and sing like a mad man
Matt:  of the plain ones
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Luke, have you been bathing your spirit in legalisms on Shabbos lately?
Matt:  humantasin look very much like vaginas
AirSupplyLuva:  You’re not a mikva boy are you Luke?
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Or am I justified by faith alone?
AirSupplyLuva:  LOL Matt
AirSupplyLuva:  Very funny, you are right

LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Luke, ever done an aborigine?
YourMoralLeader:  no
guest112:  So you know other music? What is an aborginne? Is it dirty?
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Does that make your feel deprived?
AirSupplyLuva:  I  hear they have a chabad rabbi in aborgine land.
AirSupplyLuva:  Don’t we all.
AirSupplyLuva:  Blow my digireedu.
guest112:  Oh wait I knew that and you have never had some woobla(sp?)? What is your vice
AirSupplyLuva:  I don’t know how to spell.
guest112:  Why Are you so giddy then?
Matt:  Luke when will you start gonig back to Yicc, Chabad and BJ?
AirSupplyLuva:  He’s sitting on Hamen’s nose.
Matt:  you need to take a stand and show up to all of them  and show them whose boss
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Luke, what language do indigenous people of Australia speak?
Matt:  they speak Aw-See
AirSupplyLuva:  Google that Linda.
YourMoralLeader:  Matt, when they let me in
AirSupplyLuva:  Our moral leader’s mind is far too precious.
Matt:  they won’t just let you in
Matt:  you have to take charge
Matt:  you got to force your way in
YourMoralLeader:  how?
YourMoralLeader:  with my big bad blog?
AirSupplyLuva:  Forcing is never a good idea.
Matt:  your blog is accurate and only means well
AirSupplyLuva:  Our leader is a peaceful man.
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Matt, who is the prettiest chick in the hood? You have been there for a long time.
Matt:  if these people running the shows are pussys that’s their problem, not yours
AirSupplyLuva:  Rebbitzin…
YourMoralLeader:  I’m a lover not a fighter
AirSupplyLuva:  That’s my man
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Like Rodney Dangerfied?
LindaRonstandtsVoice:  Your Moral LeaderI’m Luke Ford and I want to be Your Moral Leader. Watch me wrap tefillin, study Torah and engineer sweeping moral change. I write the website Lukeford.net.
AirSupplyLuva:  Is sweeping moral change allowed on Shabbat?
AirSupplyLuva:  sweeping is one of the malachas
YourMoralLeader:  no it is not
YourMoralLeader:  just be
AirSupplyLuva:  How about oogaling? Is that allowed on Shabbat?
YourMoralLeader:  yes discretely
AirSupplyLuva:  What about if there’s a machitza involved?
AirSupplyLuva:  At kiddush though?
YourMoralLeader:  ok if discrete
AirSupplyLuva:  What about before saying kiddush at kiddush?
AirSupplyLuva:  So do you have any opinions on the Spitzer affair?
AirSupplyLuva:  ML is enjoying himself.
YourMoralLeader:  yeah, it’s hilarious
AirSupplyLuva:  Have a Good Shabbos Luke?
YourMoralLeader:  and u too
AirSupplyLuva:  Any future plans for that beard? Trimming perhaps?
AirSupplyLuva:  A little manicuring never hurt.
AirSupplyLuva:  I trim.
AirSupplyLuva:  Perplexed?

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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