Category Archives: Personal

The Ballad Of Sammy

I met this bird at a Shabbat dinner at a nice Orthodox home in my neighborhood. At the time, I was a bit socially retarded during the week. So when I got an invite for Shabbos, I was a bit … Continue reading

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The Nostradamus Kid (1993)

I love this movie! It’s a coming of age story about an Australian boy raised a Seventh-Day Adventist who yearns for the pastor’s daughter and fears the world is coming to an end. I dig how the protagonist alternates between … Continue reading

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Would Reb Moshe And The Rav Do This?

Avraham tells me: I just mentioned tp rabbs a great way for you guys to raise money for your show. On the torah talk page photoshop you and rabbs in mankinis. With the Heading: “Who want to see Levi and … Continue reading

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Want A Shidduch (Match)?

As I was running across the street Thursday evening, an old woman in a van drove past me and yelled out the window, “Do you want a shidduch?” I shook my head. This woman looked scary. “The way you were … Continue reading

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Why Didn’t We Date?

I have a good friend. She’s an attractive woman. We’ve studied Torah together. We’ve gone to Jewish conferences together. We’ve talked for hours. People have often said that we are the mirror image of the other. Yet we’ve never crossed … Continue reading

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Hollywood Jews. Help a Brother Out!

C’mon guys. We control the media. Don’t we?

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Why Do I Want To Get Married?

It’s the adult thing to do. It’s the Jewish thing to do. It’s the expected thing. What’s the alternative? Go through life alone? I want to have children. I want regular sex and regular food. I want a clean home. … Continue reading

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What Is Love?

Love first hit me in third grade. Debbie Hick was a girl in my class. She had red hair and freckles and was solidly built. She was smart and tough and funny. I loved her. I never told her that. … Continue reading

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Why Do I Want To Be Financially Independent?

I hate asking for favors. I want to go my own way. I want to have “F— you” money so I don’t have to do work I loathe. Here I am the greatest writer of my generation. I shouldn’t have … Continue reading

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Why Do I Want To Become An Alexander Technique Teacher?

By the end of this year, I’ll be a certified teacher of Alexander Technique. Why is this important to me? Well, I never graduated from college. I got sick and had to drop out short of my undergraduate degree. This … Continue reading

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