Artificial Insemination Forbidden For Single Women

Jerusalem Orthodox Rabbi Shlomo Aviner writes:

Q: If it permissible for a single woman, who is reaching the age of forty, sees that she does not have a reasonable chance of getting married and desperately wants a baby, to be artificially inseminated?
A: Artificial Insemination from a Jewish donor is impossible since the donation is made anonymously and since the father is unknown, there is a concern that the child will eventually marry one of his/her relatives.
Artificial Insemination from a non-Jew does not contain this problem. There are authorities (i.e. Ha-Rav Moshe Feinstein, Ha-Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach and others) who permit Artificial Insemination from a non-Jew for a married woman whose husband is infertile. From a certain perspective this is preferable to adopting a child, since at least the woman will be the child’s natural mother.
In our case, however, it is improper since the child will be bereft of a father. It is true that there are single parents after a divorce or a death, and the child is bereft of a parent, but the child has a father. Our case is somewhat similar to a "shetuki" mentioned in the Gemara (Kiddushin 69a). A "shetuki" is someone who knows his mother but not his father, and he is called a "shetuki" because when he calls: "Abba," his mother says: "Shetok" (quiet). The Master of the Universe arranged that a child would have a mother and a father. This is normal. After the fact, a single mother can do a wonderful job raising children, but before the fact it is unethical for a mother to build her own happiness at the expense of the child. It will forever be difficult for him to respond to the question of who is his father, and it is possible that he will be suspected for being born out of wedlock in an illicit relationship.

From Gil Student’s Facebook page discussion:

Raphael Davidovich: Interesting. IMO, this is a perfect illustration of why there should NOT be women poskim. (Not that a male poseik could not conceivably disagree with R Aviner.) We all admire those gedolim stories that highlight compassion in a poseik. But it is clear to me from other areas of public policy that the compassion:standards ratio would change drastically with women poskim. And I think supporters of women poskim are far more aware of this than the opponents are.

Yonatan Kaganoff: If you go through Rabbi Aviner shlit"a’s post, there are no clear objections to AI except that it creates single motherhood, which is ethically objectionable. So isn’t that each person’s perspective, based upon personal introspection, if she could raise a child properly as a single mother? Rav Aviner is carte blanche deciding that single motherhood is bad and its better to never have kids than be a single mother…. Read More We are talking about women have been dating for 20 years and haven’t found a spouse. So why should things change in the next one to two years? I wonder if couples ask him if they should have a fifth or seventh kid and he tells them not to for similar reasons.

Freda Bluestone Birnbaum:
We’re aware of R. Aviner’s view but there are other views as well which have halachic credibility. As to women poskim, I’ve met some pretty tough-minded women who do not fit the sterotype of “compassion versus thinking” which seems to me a red herring anyhow. It’s not a good idea to reject input from the very people who are affected. It’s like … Read Morehaving all sorts of fancy theories about how many teeth a horse has instead of actually looking in the horse’s mouth. Why on earth men-only should have input into this issue continues to amaze and anger me.

Gil Student:
Freda: The assumption that it’s men against women and that all men have input while no women have input is mistaken. It isn’t men against women. The vast majority of men are not poskim either.

Yonatan: Rav Aviner is saying that it is a Jewish value to have a two-parent family. He doesn’t have to use the words “assur” or “mutar” to make an important point. Just because, or even if, this is mutar, it isn’t right.

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More Lobbyist Sex

George Skelton writes: The Legislature had just wrapped up its annual session when a top aide invited me to a post-adjournment party across the street from the Capitol. I went.

Entering the hotel suite, I saw an open bedroom door. And sitting on the bed was an attractive female lobbyist wearing only black panties. Two or three male legislators stood around grinning, chortling.

A little embarrassed, I hurried past to the main party group. The bedroom door soon closed. And for the next 45 minutes or so, one legislator after another entered or left the room.

The lobbyist had just won passage of a major bill, and I assumed she was celebrating by entertaining helpful lawmakers.

No, this was not early Saturday after the tortured conclusion of this year’s regular session. It was 46 years ago, not long after I had begun covering the Legislature for a wire service.

And the point is that lobbyist-provided sex — supplied directly or indirectly by some glorified pimp — is nothing new in the California Legislature or any democratic body, dating back centuries.

"I can tell whether a guy wants money, a girl or a baked potato," Artie Samish, legendary Sacramento lobbyist of the mid-20th century, used to boast.

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Sex Abuse In Lakewood

From APP.com:

The town’s rabbinical leaders strongly deny their residents are discouraged from reporting suspicions to law enforcement as a way to avoid outside stigma. If anything, they say, there is an increased hypersensitivity toward ridding the community of offenders swiftly and openly. But because of an inherent distrust in the secular legal system, a fear of a destroyed reputation or an uncertainty of the evidence, another option is needed. Their system offers those people who are reluctant to go to authorities another channel through which to bring allegations that otherwise would never be heard, according to Rabbi Moshe Zev Weisberg, a member of Lakewood’s Vaad, the council of Jewish leaders.

The Batei Din were created in Lakewood years ago as an alternative, not a substitute, to the secular courts, Weisberg acknowledged.

"The moral weight of a Bais Din can have a tremendous effect as an incentive for perpetrators to stop their activity for fear of community sanctions," he said.

Yet even many Orthodox leaders concede the internalized process can potentially enter a gray area when taking on criminal matters such as sex abuse.

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My Next Challenge – Making People Feel Safe

A friend says: "I think the banning is more because they want members to feel safe. It’s not that they think you are a physical threat but people are worried what you might write about them. It’s something for you to think about — how you can make the people around you feel secure that they aren’t always "on the record"."

This makes sense. Making people feel safe is a delicate thing because it can’t be tackled head-on. The more you assure people that they are safe, the less safe they feel. You can’t say anything that will make people feel safe. I don’t even bother. If someone tells me they don’t feel safe around me, I don’t bother talking to them. Plenty of people feel safe around me. I’ll talk to them. The rest can whine and try to keep me out of their shuls.

It’s the same way with girls. Many girls I’ve dated have felt perfectly safe with me. Some did not even discuss my blogging about them. It was just obvious to each of us where the boundaries were. Others were fine if I wrote about them in ways that kept them anonymous. Some did not want to be written about at all. Those who were nervous about my writing on them, I just left them alone. Why bother? You can’t assure people on this stuff. They either trust you or they don’t. Whenever anyone says "Trust me", I get nervous. When they say, "I’m telling you the truth", I immediately suspect they’re lying.

I have friends with whom I’ve crossed the line in various ways. They’ve reprimanded me. I’ve apologized. We moved on. I may have posted a bikini picture from their MySpace page or wrote something that weirded them out and so I erased it. The friendship may have taken a few lumps, but it kept on ticking.

I’m a writer. By pouring out my heart online, I’m going to be at tension with a lot of people around me who prefer their world more sanitized. Oh well. Humbly the cross I bear.

In high school, I got thrown in the dumpster by the football team when they didn’t like things I wrote about them. My high school journalism advisor Robert Burge wrote in my yearbook in 1984 that he’d never had a student who challenged him as much as I did. Various pornographers gave me death threats and knocked me around because they didn’t care for my blogging on them. Five people have sued me. Some friendships have been lost for life because of things I’ve written, others for just a few weeks or months. Five shuls have ejected me.

Considering who I am, when I look back on my life, I don’t see how I could’ve acted differently.

I have a demon inside and he’s hungry for attention.

Grrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwll!

Rock my like a hurricane!

Big city nights! You’ve got running around.

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Israeli Film Wins Top Prize At Venice

VENICE (Reuters) – Hard-hitting Israeli war movie "Lebanon" won the Golden Lion for best picture at the Venice film festival on Saturday.

Director Samuel Maoz shot almost the entire drama, featuring graphic and disturbing scenes of violence, from inside a tank to communicate the claustrophobia and fear he experienced as a young Israeli conscript during the 1982 war.

He was so traumatized by his memories that it took him 25 years to gather the strength to make the movie, which the New York Times called "an astonishing piece of cinema."

"I dedicate this award to the thousands of people all over the world who, like me, come back from war safe and sound," the director told the closing ceremony in Venice. "Apparently they are fine, they work, get married, have children. But inside, the memory will remain stabbed in their soul."

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Visiting Rabbis’ Graves Outside Of Israel Is Idolatry

Many of my friends are at Uman, in central Ukraine, to daven at the graveside of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov.

I don’t know much about the issues involved in this matter, but from the little I know, I agree with Rabbi Sherlo. When the Torah comes out of the ark on a Shabbos morning, 99% of the Jews kissing it have not spent an hour studying the holy book over the past week. All these extravagant gestures are cheap grace. They don’t matter much unless they’re reflecting a life of sanctity and learning. But most people, including me, prefer to do what is easy. Cheap mysticism. Cheap grace. Cheap spirituality. Throw yourself on graves and clap your hands a lot and hug everyone.

I remember at school I always preferred to avoid hard work (until my second year at college) unless it was in one of those few subjects I was passionate about, such as history or journalism. So instead of doing my assignments, I tried to get easy extra credits doing stupid things and managed to just scrape by on a lot of math and science classes with Cs.

Aramis Aharon Avraham Fernandez:
There is no signficance in visiting the kivrei of anyone. Whatver significance the rabbi may have had, they are now niftar and living only thru their works. a kever is a place of tumah it has no qedusha. What is more some people are actually going to ask for stuff “in the name ” of those niftar, that IS A’Z

YNETNews reports:

Prominent Religious-Zionism figure slams flight of businessmen, celebrities to Bulgarian grave. ‘These days faith is perceived as a convenient deal’ he says.

Rabbi Yuval Sherlo is not impressed with the recent phenomenon of hundreds of businessmen discovering their ‘Jewish sparkle’ upon visiting tombs of righteous rabbis. Following the travel of millionaires and celebrities to a famous grave sites in Bulgaria with Rabbi Yoshiyahu Pinto, Rabbi Sherlo, a leading figure in the Religious-Zionist camp releases a short article in which he implies that the act amounts to idolatry.

Sherlo cynically describes relations between the participants of the event and God as "not a bad deal," going on to write, "What are they ultimately required to do? They travel overseas to throw themselves on righteous tombs and with an important rabbi."

Sherlo also stated, "This trip requires nothing from them – not a change of devotion to halachic law, not conducting their businesses on the values of charity and law; they donate a certain sum to a righteous rabbi; they are forced to endure a flight for several hours and say prayers. That is all.

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Valley Village To Get A Happy Minyan

Many of us find that the only time we enjoy davening is when we’re rocking out at the Happy Minyan, which prays to Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach melodies.

Now I hear that the San Fernando Valley is getting its own Happy Minyan. It will be at Toras HaShem (formerly Aish HaTorah) on Chandler, a quarter-mile from Shaarey Zedek.

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Mickey Kaus – Orthodox Jew?

A few years ago, Mickey Kaus said he’d give me an interview. Then he never answered any of my follow-ups to actually do the interview. So I made up this.

It was probably unethical but it was a heckuva lot of fun. Cathy Seipp and Emmanuelle Richard got very angry with me over it. Mickey claimed he never read it.

Mickey writes on his Facebook: " An alarming number of people at my high school reunion were surprised that I hadn’t become an Orthodox Jew–apparently they believed a fake story Luke Ford posted a few years ago."

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Why Is It Called ‘The Green Line’?

Because the area Israel controls is covered with green while the land outside of Israel is mainly desert. This is true morally, culturally and physically.

Wikipedia says: The term Green Line is used to refer to the 1949 Armistice lines established between Israel and its neighbours (Egypt, Jordan, Lebanon and Syria) after the 1948 Arab-Israeli War.

According to Hebrew University Geographer Ilan Salomon, the Green Line can be discerned via satellite, marked by the Jewish National Fund pine forests planted to demarcate Israeli space.

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Hebrew Illiteracy In Jewish Life

Rabbi Gil Student writes: You might recall an opinion piece last February by Dr. Shawn Zelig Aster about the problems he found teaching Bible in Yeshiva University of some students having difficulty reading and understanding Hebrew (link). R. Shalom Z. Berger wrote a guest post on this blog in response to Dr. Aster (link). Dr. Aster has since taught a remedial course in Hebrew literacy and developed an entire program to deal with the problem. His write-up can found here in PDF (link). It can also be found in the archives of the LookJed e-mail list of Jewish educators, followed by an interesting discussion of educators, many of whom disagree with Dr. Aster’s approach (link).

A number of the objections include fond recollections of "Ivrit Be-Ivrit" (teaching Jewish subjects in Hebrew – Modern Hebrew transliteration intentional). I wonder, though, whether the teaching of Hebrew language skills was at the expense of religious inspiration (what educators call "affective"). Was the drop-out rate from religious observance significantly higher then? I think so. Maybe if less time had been spent on Hebrew language skills and more on religious inspiration, like we do now, more people would have remained in the fold.

ANON POSTS: Yes, and it was clearly a big mistake because so many people went OTD. Even nowadays the drop out rate is far too high. I expect that in the future we wont waste time studying too much of anything, it will just be Aish Hatorah seminars all day long. Got to have that inspiration.

S WRITES: I think it’s a bit odd (or, revealing?) to blame Hebrew instruction for sucking out inspiration. Maybe Orthodoxy didn’t thrive then because it was hard to wear a kippah? Maybe most rabbeim were separated by a vast cultural chasm from their talmidim? Maybe Israel hadn’t yet gotten its groove back? Could building language skills really have been the culprit? Maybe it will turn out that trying to teach Tosafos turned off today’s drop-outs. Maybe a little Tsenarena in the Artscroll translation will really solidify Orthodoxy’s future in America.

NACHUM LAMM POSTS: Gil, on what are you basing your allegation that there was a large amount of dropouts from Orthodoxy from among those who learned Ivrit b’Ivrit? There was a large amount of dropouts from Orthodoxy, period, and most kids went to public school. The cause was quite simple- many Orthodox Jews were simply not observant. (These were emphatically *not* those sending their kids to Ivrit b’Ivrit schools; indeed, what Jewish education these kids would have received would often have been in Yiddish.) A move to the suburbs in the 1950’s meant the chance to ditch it all in favor of the glitzy new Conservative movement; zehu. Indeed, your assertion is rather bizzare.

Ben Bayit, I didn’t want to bring up the idea that theoretically, Orthodox Jews should believe that knowledge of Hebrew will be essential for all in the near future, and that we should prepare for that as much as possible. Says someone whose spending five days a week in ulpan and wishes he had a stronger Hebrew background before.

HK POSTS: Hebrew language is quite unique, especially when compared to other near-east languages. We often find people writing about how they fell in love with the language, which caused them to fall in love with the religion. There’s a book called The Unknown Sanctuary, written by a Aime Palliere, and he devotes a whole section in which he explains the beauty of Hebrew and how it was the language which drew him to Judaism.

Don’t kid yourself by thinking that one less mussar speech in yeshiva day school is what caused someone to drop-out.

As easily as you make your assumption, and it is nothing more than an assumption, it can also be said that such student had a better knowledge of Hebrew, which created a deeper connection to the liturgy, and were more inspired by it than other students.

MDJ POSTS: Given that the notion that children can only learn one language is a bizarrely and uniquely american one, I find it difficult to believe that trying to get our children to learn hebrew is the cause of anything negative. Of course there will be those with language processign issues who have trouble learning a second language, but this cannot be the motivation behind a general educational system.

DTC POSTS: A few years ago, R. Eliyahu Teitz wrote an article for the JEC monthly newspaper.

His question was simple: what is the goal of teaching hebrew? Is the goal to enable students to be able to daven and learn torah, or is the goal to teach students how to speak like an Israeli?

He left the question open for debate (although it’s clear which side JEC follows) but it’s a question that really defines the hashkafa of the school, and by extension, the hashkafa of the parent body.

NACHUM LAMM POSTS: DTC, what’s the difference? The former certainly follows from the latter, although the reverse isn’t true.

Seeing bilingual kids in Israel convinces me the problem isn’t insurmountable. Of course, the situation is quite different- parents speaking English, Hebrew from friends and school, meaning that the American kids will have to be taught their second language- but it isn’t impossible. Of course, the American will be literate and fluent in English while the Israeli will be in Hebrew, but simply speaking the other language is achievable.

That said, I have to say that the report here troubles me greatly. Of course, that Hebrew knowledge is weak is no news. I remember that years ago, after getting a degree or something from YU, Irving Kristol wrote an article in praise of the school saying, among other things, that the students can converse in Hebrew. I had no idea what he was talking about. And I remember sitting down in Hebrew 1 and marveling that the guy in front of me, back from a year or two in Israel, could say "I hope this is where I finally learn to speak Hebrew." (Of course, that’s not what happens in those classes.)

But there’s a subtle note in the report that troubles me even more- the entitlement of the students, for example, expecting to do no work and pass, and perhaps an attitude that limudei kodesh aren’t as important. I wonder, also, what on earth "learning disabled" individuals are doing in a university at all. (This is a society-wide issue, not just YU or Jews.)

As a proud IBC alum, I’m even more troubled, although I still claim that Hebrew is probably nearly as weak, if not just as much so, in YP and BMP. Let’s not forget that IBC started life as an Ivrit b’Ivrit school, and still theoretically is in parts. (YU certainly advertises it such, or did just a few years ago. My Gemara exams were given in Hebrew, as it happens.) And the roster of people who graduated the Ivrit b’Ivrit TI (the forerunner of EMC/IBC) is quite proud indeed.

RAFAEL POSTS: Rabbi Abenson, a well-known Montreal-based mechanech wrote a guest column for the Misphacha Mag. in last week’s edition. His focus is remedial work and upgrading of kriyah and Gemoroh-learning skills. He said that he once heard from a great man that the reason there is loss of love for Torah learning is that when the Rebbeim, who came from Europe after the war, taught their American students, they had trouble translating from Yiddish to English and so many inexactitudes and other errors crept into the language of the talmidim and affected how they learned. He pointed out examples where he asked a rebbi to translate a passage of Talmud and the translate was basically inexact and incorrect. Take a look at that article. Its an interesting read. Also, Rabbi Abenson is a "miracle-worker" and his work has made illiterate become literate in Hebrew and learning.

SW POSTS: I must respectfully disagree with you, R’ Gil. I don’t think you are even close on this one. First, as pointed out, children all over the world, with the notable exception of those in English speaking countries, routinely learn to be proficient in two or even three languages.

Second, Ivrit b’Ivrit is not a contradiction to inspiration any more than a class in Mishna Berurah or Social Studies would be. There can be a curriculum that both inspires and educates.

Third, I don’t see any correlation between Hebrew language skills and the OTD rate. To the contrary, I think that when a student is in High School and can’t begin to even read, much less understand, a Rashi without the help of the Saperstein edition, or is asked to serve as a shatz and breaks his teeth over chazaras hashatz in a way that is painful to listen to, THAT illiteracy is what is much more likely to get a child frustrated and turned off of religious Judaism.

Y. AHARON POSTS: That article by prof. Aster on his experience in teaching remedial torah reading to college age guys at YU is both important and shocking. I hope to show it to my wife, an outstanding morah in a day school who has taught the entire spectrum of classes (1-12), for her reaction.

At this point, I can only offer my own experience. I was always a good reader who possessed good, age-appropriate comprehension skills. Perhaps I should qualify that. My yeshiva studies were conducted almost entirely in yiddish, and my yiddish comprehension never quite matched that of my native tongue, English. Formal Hebrew grammar seemed to have been taught in my yeshiva only to fulfill the foreign language requirements of the NYS Board of Regents. In fact, my lowest Regents exam grade was in Hebrew. I still don’t possess a good formal knowledge of Hebrew grammar, and have, at best, only fair fluency in the spoken language. Such deficiencies haven’t significantly impacted by comprehension of the biblical language, however. Hence, I don’t agree with the idea that fluency in the language is essential to reading comprehension.

The turn off that many students have to Ivrit b’ivrit teaching is, I suspect, due less to the unwillingness to learn a new language than to the attitude of the teachers. If a teacher is rigid, unsympathetic, and has a poor understanding of American kids, then she will be unsuccessful as a teacher. My wife learned Ivrit grammar and fluency in a day school from a master teacher who was a mathematician by training. He treated the basic rules as axioms that accounted for a host of seemingly arbitrary rules of the language. Those lessons stuck. On the other hand, her teachers who taught Tanach as a dry academic subject were a turn-off. If a teacher doesn’t convey to students the significance and importance of what he teaches, then the students will be unlikely to have a better attitude.

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