The Emotional Embargo

New Orleans pimp Frenchy Brouillette writes in his new book:

I used the silent treatment to keep order. I gave my respect and friendship to women who treated me with respect and friendship. If you stole from me or cheated me or double-crossed me, I placed you under emotional embargo, and most working girls are too needy to stand the idea that they are being shut out and rejected. For most of them, it is a replay of the childhood rejection they suffered from their actual daddies. My ability to keep my pimp hand strong without using violence or terror only increased my prestige among my women.

Posted in Dating, Mafia, Marriage | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on The Emotional Embargo

Loving America

On his radio show May 20, 2010, Dennis Prager says: “If you say that the United States is a racist country, which is a common charge on the left, how do you love a racist entity?

“There is no doubt in my mind that many people on the left love America and that many people on the left don’t.

“I don’t think the issue is a matter of love or hate but of contempt. I think that most people on the left, abroad and at home, have contempt for America. How could you not? It’s imperialist, racist, sexist, xenophobic.

“The very notion that America should be transformed.

“What if somebody said, I love my wife. She’s racist, xenophobic, homophobic, intolerant, bigoted and should be transformed, but I adore her. Would you believe him?

“Why is it any different for a country?”

Posted in Dennis Prager | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on Loving America

Only In Bel Air

Psycho-therapist Donna Burstyn blogs:

I received a telephone call from a celebrity who got my phone number off of a website.

She called me directly and was telling me about how she had broken her sobriety after ten years of being sober. She was putting her children through graduate school at elite universities and how dare they come to her house

Posted in Donna Burstyn | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Only In Bel Air

The Mob Rule Of LA’s Orthodox Rabbinate

On his radio show May 20, 2010, Dennis Prager says: “I want to tell you a story here. Every kid, for reasons we can never explain as adults, remembers something forever that didn’t even happen to the kid… Every one of you has a memory of something that happened in the news when you were a child that seared its way into your memory. And you have no idea why.

“I was seven years old. I remember this man’s name — Victor Riesel. He died in 1996. He was a reporter that investigated mob infiltration of the union. How corrupt the unions were.

“When I was seven, I remember hearing on the radio that he had sulfuric acid thrown in his face and he was blinded.

“I’m looking at a story here about a mob of union supporters outside a banker’s house [in Washington D.C.], frightening his teenage kid who locked himself up in the bathroom. This thugish union, SEIU, typical of what happens when a lot of unions get a lot of power and they are protected by the government.They, like others on the left, feel the right to bully.

“So they went up to the house, screaming, chanting, yelling, up to the porch, to the steps, of the banker’s house. Fourteen busloads of people shipped in by the thugs at the SEIU union.

“I’m not saying they will throw sulfuric acid in anybody’s face. I’m saying I remember what unions can do when they’re vicious.”

“I am opposed to demonstrations against anyone’s home, right or left. Anyone. The notion that your home is not your castle, that we can bring politics and intimidation to your house, this is a left-wing policy. Does anybody know conservatives who have lined up and screamed at the homes of people they’ve differed with? If so, I’ll condemn it right here.”

“This doesn’t happen on the right where you go intimidate the children and the families of people you differ with.”

“Here’s the irony. It was against a guy at Bank of America, Greg Baer, who’s a big Democrat. I wonder how long he will remain so foolish. Democrats did nothing against this demonstration. The Washington Post didn’t even report it. The tea party they call a mob, but a real mob of leftists, this rent-a-mob, this is never covered. It’s not covered anywhere in the mainstream media. No news program covered this. But if one person yells one alleged epithet out of 20,000 people at a legitimate rally, not in front of someone’s house, then the right-wing is a mob.”

“The idea that your home is your sanctuary, there is no sanctuary for the left. Everything is power. Everything is politics.”

Los Angeles has an equally vicious union — Rabbi Avrohom Union who runs the RCC.

Under the direction of the volatile Rav Herschel Shachter, and with the cooperation of all the Orthodox pulpit rabbis in Los Angeles, including Steven Weil at Beth Jacob, Elazar Muskin at YICC and Yosef Kanefsky at Bnai David-Judea, the RCC recruited Orthodox Jews to repeatedly march outside the home of Meir Kin (who lived with his parents) to protest his failure to give his wife a get (Jewish divorce). The rabbis widely publicized Meir Kin’s home address.

Meir Kin was willing to give his wife a get, just not through the RCC but through a beit din in Monsey.

These demonstrations were thug tactics typical of L.A.’s Orthodox rabbinate and the RCC. I hope these rabbis who assisted in these intimidation tactics live long enough to have protest marches outside their homes on equally complicated matters as Meir Kin’s divorce (I have no position on who is right and wrong in this divorce, I just think that marching outside someone’s home is wrong).

The only thing that stopped these marches of intimidation, to the best of my knowledge, is that I repeatedly blogged about them and called the rabbis bluff.

When you fight back hard against bullies, they often learn manners.

Posted in Meir Kin, R. Avrohom Union, Rabbis, Union | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments Off on The Mob Rule Of LA’s Orthodox Rabbinate

YULA Firings

I hear: YULA has fired three teachers whose years of affiliation with the school total about a century:

Mrs. Carol Bess
Mr. Manny Katz (married the non-Jewish Spanish teacher about 15 years ago and she was forced to leave YULA)
Rabbi Ephraim Neihaus

The firings were without cause, according to at least one of the teachers.

Posted in YULA | Comments Off on YULA Firings

What Do Single Orthodox Guys Like?

From FrumSatire:

Stuff yeshivish single learning guys younger than 24 like

Posted in Heshy Fried, Orthodoxy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on What Do Single Orthodox Guys Like?

Is ‘Trauma’ Goyisha Thinking?

As I review the entire corpus of Judaic literature in my head, I can’t find much about trauma. I wonder if trauma is goyisha thinking (outside of Torah and hence has no validity)?

I remember moving to the United States at age 11 and suddenly people started saying I was insecure.

I was just as insecure when I lived in Australia, but when I moved to California in 1977 I was suddenly surrounded by people immersed in psychological thinking.

And then weren’t as many abos around.

When my father was kicked out of the Seventh-Day Adventist ministry in 1980, I was 14. Many of my peers speculated that this would traumatize me. I immediately accepted this. I thought, I’m traumatized and I’m miserable and I hate the church. I proceeded to have a miserable ninth grade. I got a 1.2 (D average) GPA in my first semester. I thought of myself as a victim.

I’m fascinated by the discussion about sexual abuse and trauma here.

DF posts: Children are taught by battalions of self-interested pyschologists and plaintiff’s lawyers that they must feel “traumatized” by every allegation of abuse, real or imagined. Imagine if our this cottage industry of grievance mongers had been around for our grandparents who went through Auschwitz. None of them would have picked themselves up to remarry, raise families, and create successful business, and put the past behind them. They would have been taught to dwell on the past, wallow in it, and generally think of themselves as victims. You make the correct point, Dr. Shapiro, that this type of pyscho-babble is not found in the Torah, which is one reason the orthodox community largely rejects it. But I submit to you that there are millions of non-Jews in this country alone who also do not share this type of mindset. It’s a way of thinking, not necessarily a religious issue.

And of course, that’s why the comparison to eating McDonalds is wildly inexact. Eating a cheeseburger is concrete. It’s easily identified as a violation of community standards. But what exactly is “abuse”? To this day, amid all the accusations and false accusations, truths and half-truths, no one has been able to tell us what exactly abuse is, or what is molestation. I don’t have to go back to the Massachusetts witch hunt scandals of the 1980s to demonstrate how hysteria builds up in any case where children are involved, and innocent educators get harmed. Is bouncing a child on your lap molestation? If so, half of all summer camp counselors in this country are felons.

Posted in Abuse, Jews, Marc B. Shapiro, Personal | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Is ‘Trauma’ Goyisha Thinking?

Covering Up Rabbi Sex Abusers

Orthodox rabbi Marc B. Shapiro blogs April 15, 2010:

There is another theory as to why the sectarian hasidic world in particular has had so many cases of covering up and defending child sex abusers. It is that they simply do not regard these people as so terrible. The evidence for this appears obvious, in that in case of after case we see that they continue to allow sex abusers to teach and refuse to turn them over to the authorities and warn the parent body. Had they caught the rebbe eating at McDonald’s, you can be sure he would have been fired, but not so when it comes to fooling around with kids. The question is why do they have this outlook, and how come they don’t regard child sex abusers as so terrible? Here is a possible answer (which a wise person suggested). Look at where these societies get their information about human nature, the information that they regard as authentic and true. It does not come from modern psychology, but from Torah sources and folk beliefs. If you look only at traditional rabbinic literature, you won’t conclude that child sex abuse is as terrible as modern society views it. Yes, it is a sin and the person who commits it must repent as he must do with all sins, but there is nothing in the traditional literature that speaks to the great trauma suffered by the victim. How do we know about this trauma? Only from modern psychology and the testimony of the victims. Yet this type of evidence does not have much significance in the insular hasidic world (unless it is your own child who has been abused). Certainly modern psychology, which is often attacked by figures in that community, is not given much credence, especially not when they are confronted with an issur of mesirah.

Posted in Abuse, Marc B. Shapiro, Rabbis | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Covering Up Rabbi Sex Abusers

Executing The Jewish Murderer Martin Grossman

Wikipedia says: “Martin Edward Grossman (January 19, 1965 � February 16, 2010) was convicted of first degree murder for his part in the December 13, 1984, Florida killing of wildlife officer Peggy Park. He was executed by lethal injection. In the days before his execution, there were a large number of appeals for clemency, ranging from petitions to pleas, as well as a request to halt the execution from Pope Benedict XVI.[1] Grossman, a Jewish American, received strong support from national and international Jewish organizations for his death sentence to be commuted.[2][3][4]

I remember many of my Jewish friends agitating on Facebook to prevent the execution of Martin Grossman. I did not know much about the case. It seemed clear that Grossman had committed murder and therefore I felt no need to defend him from capitol punishment (which I support for the crime of murder).

Rabbi Yitzhock Adlerstein had thoughts on this case. Rabbi Adlerstein now opposes the death penalty.

Rabbi Marc B. Shapiro writes April 22, 2010:

During the discussions about the Grossman execution, I looked at some of the haredi websites (until the comments made me sick). What I found interesting was the incredible level of ignorance of most of the writers, all of whom had been in yeshiva and many of whom had studied there for years. They were able to declare that a murderer can’t be executed unless he was observed by two kosher witnesses and was given warning, which they thought settled matters. Had these people known a bit of responsa literature, there would have understood how things worked in the real world, and especially what was done in the days of the rishonim. Do these people think that if a guy stood up in shul and opened fire with a machine gun, killing 20 people, that a Jewish court couldn’t execute him because he was never given a warning? Let’s continue with R. Liebes:

יש כח להבי”ד בזמן שרואין צורך השעה לענוש עונש מות אפילו בכל יום אפילו אם מן התורה פטורין הם כדי שעל ידי זה כל העם ישמעו וייראו ולא יזידון עוד.

As for the possibility that a Jewish man will be executed:

מצוה וחיוב לעורר את דעת הקהל להתריע את בתי המשפט שיראו להעביר בכל המדינה משפט מות ולענוש בכל החומר הרוצחים והפושעים ואת מדינתינו ארצות הברית אשר מאמינה בתנ”ך יכולים לשכנע אותה ולהראות לה עד היכן תוה”ק מקפידה לבער את רשעי הארץ בתור חיוב ומצוה. ומש”כ כת”ר לחשוש דלפעמים ימצא רוצח יהודי א”כ אנחנו נהיה אשמים במיתתו זה אינו כלום . . . מוכח מזה דהמחוייב מיתה עפ”י דין המלכות מותר למסרו להם מטעם דינא דמלכותא. מובן ממילא שכל דברינו מוסבים רק על המדינות שיש להם שוויון הזכויות לכל אזרחיה בלי שום אנטישמיות ושנאת ישראל ולכן אם ח”ו יהודי נתפס באיזה עון ופשע הרי הוא נידון כמו כל אזרחי המדינה.

Many who commented on the various sites were people who never opposed the death penalty before and do not oppose it now, yet they were anti-death penalty in this case because, quite simply, they think the death penalty is just fine except when it is a Jew being executed. They vote for all the right wing candidates and then have the chutzpah to complain when their man actually follows through on his support of capital punishment and doesn’t share their view that a supposed baal teshuvah (whose last meal on earth was a non-kosher chicken sandwich bought from the prison canteen) should not be executed. Some of them cited Sanhedrin 17a, סנהדרי שראו כולן לחובה פוטרין אותו , as if this had any relevance. First of all, this passage only means that he is not executed in the normal fashion, but he can certainly be executed as an emergency measure. In addition, some understand this passage to mean that if on the first day of deliberations all conclude that he is guilty, he is not condemned to death immediately but the case is revisited on the next day. If then, all find him guilty, he is executed. None of the commenters who mentioned this law quoted the view of R. Meir ha-Levi Abulafia (cited in many sources) and the Tosafot Hakhmei Anglia that the meaning of פוטרין אותו is ממהרין אותו להורגו . This understanding is praised by the Reisher Rav, R. Aharon Lewin, Ha-Derash ve-ha-Iyun, Deut. no. 119:5, and R. Baruch Epstein, Torah Temimah, Ex. 23:2. Epstein is convinced that this understanding is correct because otherwise היש לך חוטא גדול ונשכר מזה . For more on the subject, see Zorach Warhaftig, “Rov u-Miut be-Veit ha-Din,” in Itamar Warhaftig, ed., Minhah le-Ish (Jerusalem, 2001), pp. 100ff. See also R. Reuven Margaliot, Margaliyot ha-Yam, Sanhedrin 17a, no. 19, who cites the Tashbetz:

שהם ז”ל לא אמרו ב”ד שהסכימו כולם לחובה פטור, חלילה להם שיאמרו ככה, ואם על פי הרוב הורגים כל שכן ע”פ כולם ויותר טוב ויותר משובח הוא שיהיה הפסק דין מוסכם מהכל ולא שיהיה שום חולק.

See e.g., R. Yair Hayyim Bacharach, Havot Yair, no. 146. Some poskim have even ruled that when a murderer has been sentenced to death it is forbidden to try and save him. See R. Nathan Leiter, Tziyun le-Nefesh Hayah, no. 121. (Others disagree, see e.g., Teshuvot Hatam Sofer, vol. 6, no. 14.) Obviously, such a ruling has no relevance to people who oppose the death penalty on principle, but it does speak directly to those who normally support it—as I daresay includes most, if not virtually all of the people who were commenting so outrageously on the haredi sites. Let me close by citing a responsum of R. Meir Zak in Teshuvot Eitan ha-Ezrahi, no. 45. What he said in the seventeenth century, in a case involving a Jewish murderer, is just as relevant today, and it is incredible how this responsum speaks to the Grossman case (he even uses the term “hillul ha-shem”!). Notice how he also includes the manhigei ha-dor in his criticism.

מאחר שניתן ביד גוים ערכאות הם יעשו בו משפט וידינו לא תהיה בו . . . ואפשר שעל נדון דידן נאמר מורידין מאחר שכתב הרב מהר”ד ה”ל האב”ד דק”ק ה”ל שדעתו לעשות כפרה והיה כל ימיו חוטא גדול ופושע, נאמר לישרי’ ביה גודא רבא ואף אם יאמר שרוצה לעשות תשובה ולפי דעתי על אלו אמרו חז”ל אין נחת רוח בתשובתן של רשעים להקב”ה כי ראה עצמו ביד גוים רוצה לרמות אותנו, אבל להפריז ממון לפדות אותו בשביל שאומר שרוצה לעשות תשובה זה הוא חילול השם שיאמרו אין עונש שפיכות דמים אצל יהודים נחשב חטא והיה אם גוי יהרוג ח”ו ליהודי ג”כ לא ידונו לעשות נקמה. ותמיד אני צועק ככרוכיא על מנהיגי הדור שכל גנב או חוטא שבא למאסר עושין השתדלות לפדות אותו ע”י שחדים דבר זה בעו”ה מרבה פשעים וגניבות כל א’ עושה מה שלבו חפץ ורבו פריצי הדור כאלו אנחנו רואים בעו”ה רוב גנבי ישראל ע”כ שלא לתת פרוטה לפוטרו ממות.

Isn’t it amazing that hundreds of years ago he was condemning the leaders who think that every thief or sinner who goes to jail should be the focus of pidyon shevuyim? From this responsum we learn that the warped values we have seen these last few years go back a long time. And what is one to make about his statement that the majority of thieves are Jewish? (using the language of Avodah Zarah 70a). I pray we never reach this point, although we probably have to do keriah over the fact that the Agudah spokesmen have been insistent in letters to the editor and in interviews that Orthodox Jews are not more dishonest than anyone else. In other words, no one, neither Jew nor non-Jew, even assumes anymore that being an Orthodox Jew means that you hold yourself to a high ethical standard. Their goal now is to convince the public that when it comes to obeying the law, Orthodox Jews (and their institutions) are simply no worse than everyone else. If that is not an indictment of our entire educational system, I don’t know what is.

For those interested in pursuing further the topic of Jewish murderers, here is a nineteenth-century responsum by the Moroccan R. Joseph Berdugo (Divrei Yosef no. 381).

Posted in Jews, Marc B. Shapiro | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Executing The Jewish Murderer Martin Grossman

Do Private Remarks Give You A More Accurate Assessment Of A Person?

A few months ago, when the book Game Change came out, Dennis Prager derided the news media’s preoccupation with Senator Harry Reid’s comments about Obama being so successful because he was a light-skinned black man who did not speak with a negro accent unless he wanted to.

Dennis was opposed to the publication of private remarks. He said they did not give you a window into how someone was really thinking. He said the news media’s preoccupation with private remarks was akin to the surveillance tactics of the Stasi in East Germany.

Orthodox rabbi and history professor Marc B. Shapiro may have a different view on these matters. He blogs April 22, 2010:

This is a blog about seforim, but with Dan’s permission, in a future post I am going to write about the various blogs and news sites, both haredi and Modern Orthodox, that focus on Jewish matters (halakhah, hashkafah, etc.). In the last six months I have visited them a good deal, left a number of comments (some quite provocative and opposed to my own outlook [e.g., dealing with sexual abuse, Zionism, Daas Torah, Torah mi-Sinai, etc.], and always under a pseudonym) and gathered the reactions. I also corresponded with people I met on the sites and with various anonymous baalei ha-blogs. I tried to be a bit of a reporter, gathering information, and just like a reporter sometimes has to hide his identify, I felt that in this circumstance it was permissible, especially as almost everyone I was dealing with was also anonymous. We all know that the ability to be anonymous is basic to the internet (and there has been a good deal of discussion recently about whether this is a good idea). I also felt that if I got involved in a debate on a haredi or Modern Orthodox site, my name would be recognizable to some of the people and they might respond differently than if I was some anonymous person.

Most of the information is publicly available (as are my comments), but I won’t cite any names, as I am not interested in individuals but in some of the thought processes that I observed. As always, I will tie this in with seforim, especially the phenomenon of anonymous and pseudonymous (as opposed to pseudepigraphal) seforim and articles, and also discuss the modern anonymous halakhic questions that R. Yuval Sherlow has written about. (He has also published a couple of volumes of his answers to these questions.) How is Judaism perceived and portrayed when people can live in two worlds, the public one and the private anonymous world of the internet? What does it mean when most people who comment about controversial topics choose to do so under a pseudonym? I think that what I found also has implications to an issue I have been concerned with for a long time, namely, the value of private letters and conversations vs. published word in seeking to evaluate the personality of an individual. This directly relates to David Holzer’s book on the Rav and was also a topic that became a dispute between the late Prof. Twersky and myself when writing my dissertation on R. Weinberg–more on that to come.

I mention all this because I have a request: If anyone is aware of a similar study with regard to Christian or political blogs and websites, please let me know. As a friend commented to me when I told him about my project, “we all know that there are registered Democrats on the Upper West Side who secretly vote Republican, but in order not to scandalize their friends, will only post their true opinions anonymously.” Yet has anyone written about this? There are serious methodological issues that must be dealt with in any such inquiry.

Posted in Dennis Prager, Marc B. Shapiro | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Do Private Remarks Give You A More Accurate Assessment Of A Person?