Keeping Intimacy At Bay

From Amir Levine’s book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love:

The emotionally avoidant use these de-activating strategies (any behavior to squelch intimacy) to keep their partners at arm’s length (the more you use these tools, the more alone you will feel and the less happy you’ll be):

* Saying you’re not ready to commit but staying together anyway;
* Focusing on small imperfections of your partners;
* Pining after an ex;
* Flirting with others;
* Not saying I love you while implying you do have feelings;
* Pulling away when things are going well;
* Forming relationships with an impossible future;
* Checking out mentally when your partner is talking to you;
* Keeping secrets;
* Avoiding physical closeness such as walking ahead of your partner, not wanting to sleep in the same bed.

Though patterns that keep you from intimacy:

* Mistaking self-reliance for independence. Not relying on anyone.

* Seeing the worm instead of the apple.

* You train yourself not to care about how your partner is feeling. You say to yourself that you are not responsible for his state.

* Longing for the phantom ex allows you to keep your current partner at bay.

Eight actions that will get you closer to intimacy:

* Learn to identify your de-activating strategies.

* De-emphasize self-reliance and focus on mutual support.

* Find a secure partner. They tend to make their anxious and avoidant partners more secure. An anxious partner will exacerbate your avoidance.

* Be aware of your tendency to misinterpret behaviors.

* Make a relationship gratitude list. Remind yourself that you tend to think negatively of your partner.

* Nix the phantom ex. Remind yourself that she was never a viable option.

* Forget about “The One”.

* Adopt the distraction strategy. If you are avoidant, it is easy to get closer to your partner if you focus on doing something else such as cooking or taking a hike or watching a movie together.

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Why Is Africa So Primitive?

Africa has 18% of the world’s land, 13% of the world’s population and 1% of the world’s GNP. Why? Corrupt government and corrupt societies and corrupt interpersonal relations (such as failing to arrive on time to meetings, respecting other people’s property, education, commitment to family, etc). People in Africa often won’t buy more than a day’s worth of food because by so doing you’re inviting neighbors to come in and take it. Why are American Indian and Aboriginee reservations so barren?

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Scandal Rocks Jewish Anti-Poverty Organization; Leading NYC Mayoral Candidates on Circumcision Controversy, Affordable Housing for Ultra-Orthodox

Scandal rocks one of the Jewish world’s biggest charities as the Metropolitan Council on Jewish Poverty’s CEO William Rapfogel leaves the organization over financial malpractices, NYC mayoral candidates Christine Quinn and Bill Thomspon chat about the issues with TJC, Israeli jazz musician Anat Cohen makes her 54 Below debut, and more.

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What’s It Like To Become Irrelevant In Your 40s?

From July of 1997 to October of 2007, I averaged over 10,000 online readers a day. Today I average about 1/20th of that. This website, for instance, has about a fourth of the readership it averaged from 2001-2007.

What does it feel like to become irrelevant in your lifetime? And how did this happen?

The second question is easy to answer. Until the fall of 2007, I really truly thought I could make a living from blogging (though I often panicked about this over the previous decade as I lost various employers and sponsors, and I grew steadily more pessimistic and less passionate about my blogging from 2001 on). When the recession hit in 2008 and I gave up my blogging on the more salacious topics and decided to clean up my act and live my life more fully within Orthodox Judaism, I saw that I’d have to look elsewhere for a living. As my attention wandered from blogging, my efforts did to. I was no longer thinking constantly about finding stories and interesting people to interview.

I felt like I had run into a brick wall with my life and it was time to take a break from my habitual efforts and to try to look at things more productively. My habits weren’t serving me as well as I wanted.

For the past six years, I’ve largely stayed on that break. I do much less frenzied blogging. I write much less from a compulsion to update my site. I only write when I feel like it. I have only the tiniest of obligations to keep this blog moving. I rarely to link to other people’s work. If I have something to say, I’ll say it, otherwise the world can roll on without my blog noting it.

About a year ago, a friend in shul said to me, “Your blog is in danger of becoming irrelevant.” I replied, “My blog has been irrelevant for years. There’s no way to monetize it, so I only do it for fun. There’s not enough return to go out and to report stories. It doesn’t make me money. It doesn’t get me girls.”

So where does this leave me? In my 40s, I’m taking a break from my frenzied labors of my 30s and trying to figure out where I’ll go next. I write in my journal, go to therapy and 12-step meetings, read self-help, watch movies, listen to music, talk to friends, and figure that the best thing I can do for my writing is to become the best person I can be by developing myself in new and frequently uncomfortable ways.

Because my blog has become irrelevant, I have to confront myself with fewer delusions about grandiosity. I can no longer imagine that I have great importance because of my achievements in the wider world. I can’t distract myself anymore with that fantasy.

I no longer devote myself so intensely to getting attention. I channel that desire, at times, into making Facebook posts, because that requires much less effort than writing a blog post.

So, in a sense, more than ever before, I’m standing on my own two feet with fewer delusions about myself. I’m looking around and trying to figure out where I will go from here. I look back on my life and see a lot of fevered running in circles, much of it unproductive.

I feel a yearning inside to become relevant once again to the cultural conversation and I’m thinking and journaling about various ways I can do that. I think the best thing I can do for my career as a writer and as an Alexander Technique teacher is to become more secure in my attachment style, less emotionally reactive, and more differentiated. Much of my previous blogging separated me from the very people I wanted to join — Orthodox Jews. I’m keenly aware of how much I want to write and say ugly things to get a rise out of people. That’s a powerful destructive drive just below my surface and it doesn’t get me to where I want to go. So I’m pausing before expressing myself, and sometimes I pause so long that I get sleepy and day turns night and then into day and I see I have nothing I want to say to the world.

I wonder if I am more isolated than ever before. My social group used to revolve around the Los Angeles Press Club, but when I abandoned blogging for a living in 2007, I also dropped my membership. My best friend Cathy Seipp had died a few months previous and a large part of my life died with her.

For the past six years, I’ve stumbled in my attempts to create a new social circle without a Cathy type to adopt this stray dog.

On the upside, I have a nice apartment, a nice car and a nice high-def big screen TV.

Posted in Blogging, Personal | Comments Off on What’s It Like To Become Irrelevant In Your 40s?

The Secure Are The Salt Of The Earth

From Amir Levine’s book ATTACHED: The secure pick up emotional cues without getting emotionally reactive like the anxiously attached. Nor are they closed off like avoidants. They’re consistently the happiest people around, have the best relationships, and make those around them more secure.

One sign you’re with an emotionally avoidant — they keep rhapsodizing about the perfection of the one who got away. Avoidants spend a great deal of time romanticizing a past relationship. It’s easier than dealing with the messy present. It’s a deactivating strategy to turn down your current relationship.

Being avoidant is not a self-sufficient life, rather it is constant struggle to suppress our inherent attachment desires.

Avoidants rarely look inward, and rarely seek or accept help. Thus, they rarely change.

I found that the pain of romantic break-ups was cumulative (until I started learning my lessons in my 40s).

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The Dangers Of Large Group Awareness Training (LGAT) II

From a post to Rick Ross: These firewalking seminars, are very dangerous seminars, in my view, for many many reasons. Dozens, if not hundreds of reasons.

Firstly, doing the Firewalk in the presence of the Super-Guru is something you can almost never take back. They have designed it as an event that will PERMANENTLY change who you are. That is its literal stated intent. They are going to put people into a Peak State, and then FUSE that with peoples most sacred and Peak Experiences from their lives, and then this gets interwoven and FUSED with the Guru. He enters the most sacred spaces in your psyche, perhaps for the rest of your life. He wants to change who you are, literally, by creating an event that is a turning point in your life, something you will never forget.

Also, the seminar is full of Embedded Commands, and he is directly Influencing your Unconscious mind. The Guru defines what “success” is for you (even though he might claim he is doing the opposite of this), he talks (or talked) about how he is not doing hypnosis, but is rather “de-hypnotizing” you. Its full of group call and responses, and yelling “YES!” to the commands of the Guru, followed by commands to “write this down”. You can just hear people on the tapes start falling into Groupthink, and begin to “follow the leader”, as each layer of these “commands” is layered in.

Its full of his “stories”, which are designed to manipulate you. He is doing Eriksonian Hypnosis on you, which is almost irresistible. He is deliberately CONFUSING you. This is very powerful psychological stuff, and its being misused for sales purposes.

At this point, the SuperGuru has hundreds of different aspects of Influence all overlaid in this seminar, from doing it for so many years, so they all hit you at once, like a Mac truck.

Of course, the Sales-pitch is that the Guru is doing all this, “for your own good”. He is “changing you to be more successful”, etc.
Who’s “good” is being served here?
Who is being served up on a platter, and for what purpose?

From where I stand right now, I see it as nothing less than an extreme psychosocial abuse of power. I can see what’s behind the design of these seminars more and more, each year I look at them.

LGAT’s are bad news, due to their extreme coercive nature.

I could imagine a type of open seminar, that could give out useful psychological info, and have open discussions, but doesn’t mess with your mind. But an LGAT is the opposite of that. It is a terrible learning environment, even as they claim it is a wonderful learning environment. Its a great environment for coercive indoctrination, not learning.

But, the Firewalking seminar is literally meant to mess with your mind, so that you are never the same person again, in certain ways. This is why if you look at what people write after these seminars, you will see its extreme short-term effects on people.
Watch what people write on that “other” forum after they get back from these seminars. Look for the distorted, grandiose thinking, and mania that has been created. Ask them questions, and you might see some very bizarre answers, that are out of touch with “reality”.

As I have said, the more I look into this stuff, the more powerful and dangerous I see it as being.

I will never allow myself for the rest of my life to “give myself away” at an LGAT seminar. I might attend some for research purposes, but I will sit near the back, and guard my psyche from these terrible manipulations. I would also NEVER do something really “extreme” there, like Firewalking. This will IMPRINT the seminar, and the FUSE the Guru into your psyche, maybe for the rest of your life.

These LGAT’s are extremely sinister and terribly powerful. They are not what they seem, and they do not do what they are advertised to do. They seem to do the opposite…

Miracles, Breakthroughs, personal transformation…

It seems to me they are all selling the same thing.

An escape from a painful reality, and Magical Thinking.

I think they are just exploiting a primal fallibility of being a human.
Look at “lotteries”. They sell the same thing.
Watch the TV ads for them. “One scratch could change your life!”.
Its a Miracle! Just buy a ticket, and all of your problems will be solved.

Existence in the modern world is a very tough thing at times, so in my view they are exploiting this human desire of ours, and telling us they can sell us a little piece of “Heaven” right here now.

Miracle = Instant Change.

Its pretty hard to sell personality modification as a slow, unsexy, persistent method of modifying your behaviors and underlying patterns, over a long period of time. Not very sexy.
Better to say, “change your whole miserable stinking life in one miraculous weekend!”.

We all seem to fantasize about an “easy way out”, and they just exploit it.

Exploiting human weakness for profit…

In my view, there is no way people should be going to these LGAT’s until they know what they are all about.
This way, they can be aware of all of the tricks, and the Trance and Ericksonian Hypnosis, Embedded Commands, NLP, the way the room is set up, the Social Influence stuff, the food and sleep deprivation, the conditioning of your peaks states and values to the Guru, the sleaze-ball commissioned salespeople, and the dozens and dozens of other techniques and aspects of the LGAT.

This way, IF a person ever “chooses” to go to one of these seminars someday, (the seminars have been running for decades, “Scarcity” is a sales tactic), then they will know what is going on. They will leave their credit cards at home, and they will NOT SIGN any contracts there. They might sit near the back, and not get too overexcited. They will not “give in” to the Guru, even thought the Guru tells you that giving into him is what you have to do to get miraculous change now.

Try an experiment. When folks get back from this seminar, you can ask them questions. You will see how “pumped up” they are, how they feel they can do anything. (for now).
Ask about what they bought there, if they signed up for other seminars. Look at their beliefs, and what they think about Tony now. (they will love him and think he is a genius).
You can observe the effects on other people. They will almost all be “manic” for quite a while.
But it wears off. The high falls away.
That’s why some people keep going back, over and over.
They want that manic high, its like some type of drug high, and they need their fix.

There is so much to learn about these things.

Learning about self-improvement is wonderful.
But these LGATS are only about that in a very minor way.
Their real purpose is being discussed in this thread, and on these types of analytical websites.

LGAT’s are a very bad way to learn things, except how to be “brainwashed” and indoctrinated unconsciously.

This “first seminar” is about bringing you “into the loop”.
And what a loop it is.
It can consume your entire life. It can costs you thousands of dollars. It can get you “hooked” into the sales cycle…
$1,000 ->$3,000 -> $5,000 -> $10,000 -> $30,000 -> $65,000 -> -> $100,000+ -> whatever you might have.

Before ever attending a Mass LGAT Seminar of this nature, one needs to educate themselves, and find out what they are trying to do to you.

But even then, many times its not enough…

People “blame themselves” for not accomplishing as much as they think they “should”, and this self-downing leads to depression, frustration, and even self-loathing.

(Step #2: find your customers pain, and then stir up their pain, and make it worse)
(Step #3: heal them with you products and services)

In my view, to want to get into Action is a good thing.
But from my point of view, we can do it in a healthier way by using ideas from Behavior Therapy, or Cognitive Behavior Therapy.
This way, we can push ourselves at times to get things done that we are Avoiding, but we can forgo shaming ourselves for not being a Superperson.

You’ll notice that Tony does not seem to teach unconditional self-acceptance. Why?

As I have said many times, most of his “psychological knowledge” seems to directly conflict with what is thought of as “healthy” currently in fields like CBT and REBT.
Why is this?

My view is that they are not so much there to “help us”, but to serve as part of the overall sales process.
Robbins does not have the disciplined training to be giving psychological advice, in my opinion.
SELLING SELLING SELLING and psychological health do not make good bedfellows.

Upon further reflection, it seems very clear to me that these types of “firewalking” LGAT’s are engineered to give people what is called a “Manic Episode”, or Hypomanic episode.
Read the critieria of a Manic and Hypomanic episode, and compare this to the psycho-emotional states of people after these types of seminars.
To push people into this so-called “Peak State”, pushing them 14 hours a day, until they might engage in an “unrestrained buying spree” and make “foolish business investments”, is the perfect state for the “customer” to be in.

I think some of the people who design and run these seminars might be Manic-Depressive, and have learned that to try and push people into having a “manic episode” is good business.
Of course, not everyone can be pushed into this state, and some people are simply hypomanic, or just get a bit “overexcited”.
But it seems clear to me.

Installing and triggering a type of Mania is the goal.

TAKEBLINDERSOFF POSTS: The LGATs provide a sense, however ephemeral, of community and spiritual bonding that many people haven’t experienced or no longer have in their lives. That these events have dark, devious undercurrents is blithely ignored by most, desperate as they are for an experience to make their life sparkle. LGATs are legal drugs, as they truly simulate the same effect as cocaine or other mania-inducing drugs. As with alcohol consumption, some people can have a drink or two or get smashed for a night, and walk away. Others become alcoholics. Legality makes addiction acceptable and puts the onus on the unsuspecting victim.

Many people with stronger internal resources simply can’t understand the extreme vulnerability of some people and how these type of events are engineered to hook you for life. And that even they could be victimized and hooked in ways they didn’t know were possible.

A friend used to practice his Haitian drumming while I visited. I found that at times, while reading a magazine or using his computer, I would drop what I was doing and go into a light trance state, just sitting there, unable to move. I thought maybe I was having some sort of weird low blood sugar attack, but then I would suddenly snap out of it. This wasn’t a typical hypoglycemic reaction. I finally figured out it was related to the drumming and he told me that some of the patterns he played were used in all night “vodoun” rites. He had no idea these patterns could so easily induce trance states and had thought it was alcohol or drugs that did it.

There is a deep spritual void in our McDonald’s culture. LGATs are filling it.

What can we do to counter?

Posted in Cults, Tony Robbins | Comments Off on The Dangers Of Large Group Awareness Training (LGAT) II

Tony Robbins’ Weird Dietary Advice

CosmoPhilosopher posts 5/29/03 to Rick Ross: He has always had weird dietary advice. Years ago, he sold the “fit for life” idea, and I was credulous enough to follow that, until one day I saw some good nutritionists, and they let me have it! So I did some research, and saw how erroneous that entire “diet” is. Obviously, diet is a very complex area.

BUT, Tony Robbins these days has a whole new dietary thing going! He gives a big unscientific talk about “acid-alkaline” in his recent program, and does this big build-up, as only he the Master Salesman can. Then at the end of the CD, a toll-free number for….GREENS…which is going to do everything for you. When I heard that, I laughed out loud. All I thought was one thing. Super-High-Margin Product. Just think, you sell a small can of mulched up “grass” product for like $70.00 US. That is for ONE MONTH!!!!
This is the guy he was in cross-partnership with. Robert Young. [www.greenandlean.com]

And Tony Robbins has these new “cleansing” retreats, where people do this “alkalizing” thing, and then look at their blood under microscopes, and a bunch of other weird stuff.

This is what I mean by “culty”. He always has Food Control, Thought Control, Emotional Control, Behavior Control, etc. He uses all the same “culty” techniques….

First, Tony Robbins was one of the first people to take NLP and SELL it! He studied under Bandler and Grinder the founders of NLP, and then and went and SOLD it, and used it in the Marketplace to make a bunch of CASH! I think he was actually the guy who STARTED all this NLP for the masses stuff! Richard Bandler told me he still gets royalty checks from Robbins. TR was known as the BEST NLPer out there! He called himself one of NLP’s “top experts”. Funny eh? 😀

Also, about TRANCE. Again 100% correct. 10-15% of people are highly suggestible to hypnosis. These folks Tony Robbins can deeply influence. Around 10% of people cannot go into a Trance, so perhaps these are the people TR can’t touch, but he gets to them in other ways. (I see TR as being a master of hypnosis as well. But he is so good, he does it without you even knowing it, all the while telling you he is “unhypnotizing” you!). (I am NOT joking when i say that).

Onto the “brainwashing” link!
From that list I see Robbins using: Pavlovian Conditioning, Voice Anchoring, building emotional excitement, Pain and Pleasure – “The Dickens Pattern”, Anecdotal Testimony, talk of “Instant Change-winning lotteries” (Miracles), powerful Music, Sound, and Lighting, seminars from 9am until after midnight, endless offers of follow-up courses and “coaching”, using special Jargon, TR claims to have worked with the Marines, less than normal amounts of sleep in seminar weekends, programmed confusion-overwhelm, Thought stopping to the extreme!, Visualization, Chanting of slogans and incantations, the place is FULL OF TRUE BELIEVERS who are working for FREE or attending the seminar, YES SET big-time!, Embedded Commands, EVERY NLP technique on earth, Interspersal Technique+, Shock and Awe techniques, TR SELLS subliminal tapes, so he might be using subliminals, etc.

James Randi, the worlds most renowned Skeptic/Debunker has drawn his conclusion about the Qlink. Randi states:
“I hardly think that Tony Robbins has been “misled.” He’s smart enough to know that his nonsense about the mind controlling the human body so that the fire-walk is possible, is fictional. I’m sure he also knows that this Qlink thing is just another piece of quackery.”

The Guru of Product Potential
By BETSY STREISAND, NEW YORK TIMES, AUGUST 31, 2003

If it seems the world can’t get enough of Anthony Robbins, the high priest of human potential, the feeling is mutual. Although he has built an empowerment empire estimated to be worth at least $80 million by selling nothing but himself, Mr. Robbins is no longer content just to influence the emotional and financial lives of his devotees.

“My driving force is to create a deep impact,” he said last week during a phone conversation from Fiji between seminar sessions for business leaders. “I want to change the quality of people’s lives.” To that end, he aims to be in his followers’ kitchen cupboards, medicine chests and gym bags, as well as their heads, coaching them to peak performance, 24/7.

Mr. Robbins and other titans in the field may preach self-reliance, but the self-help industry thrives on repeat business. That means selling the faithful a steady stream of products and services that promise to teach them to take control of their lives and to realize their full potential.
—–
But no one is going after the much larger business known as “wellness,” a broad term for the multibillion-dollar arena that includes things like vitamins and Pilates exercises, with quite the fervor of Mr. Robbins.

“I want to own it,” Mr. Robbins said.

Mr. Robbins, 43, is positioning himself to be right there with the goods. He is a principal and a vice chairman of IdeaSphere Inc., which manufactures natural and organic food and health products. IdeaSphere also has a controlling stake in Rebus Publishing, which prints health newsletters for Johns Hopkins University and the University of California at Berkeley.

Next month, according to Mr. Robbins, the company is set to join forces with one of the nation’s largest athletic shoe and apparel makers, as well as a national chain of health food stores. He declined to identify the companies.

The sports deal will involve products including athletic wear, energy drinks and motivational tools, like what Mr. Robbins calls a “digital life trainer,” an MP3 player that arrives loaded with a 30-day supply of life-changing motivation, he said.

The partnership will also be used to promote Mr. Robbins’s personal development book, “Emotional Fitness,” due in April, as well as “Pure Energy,” also to be published in 2004. Mr. Robbins said the health food chain would sell Idea- Sphere’s nutritional supplements and nutraceuticals, which are foods or drinks with added vitamins, herbs or nutrients.

“Consumers are looking for a partner, someone they can trust to tell them what to do on a daily basis,” said Mark A. Fox, the president of IdeaSphere. “Tony is here to make the emotional connection between the consumer and those products.”

And nobody does emotion quite like Mr. Robbins, who stands 6 feet 7 inches tall and routinely takes the stage for hours at a time during his seminars, stirring up a motivational frenzy and reducing crowds of thousands to tears one minute and laughter the next.

“You’ve got to train your mind, your body and your emotions,” Mr. Robbins said in an interview, using his characteristic mile-a-minute motivational speaking style. “Most people who are committed to making their life better may train their body, and diet and exercise, but they aren’t happy. They have a two-legged stool. I’m going to give them the third: emotional fitness.”

His growing arsenal of products makes it clear that he considers helping people pursue happiness to be a full-time job. And if he pulls off all the deals he says he has in the works, he will be with his followers every step of the way. Here is a possible day in an all-Tony, all-the-time life:

• You wake up, put on your athletic shoes — the ones soon to be available with Mr. Robbins’s endorsement — and fire up your MP3 player preloaded with Mr. Robbins’s motivational programs.

• Are you thirsty? He has an energy drink with your name on it (and probably his name, too). Hungry? Try the energy bar. Then pop a day’s worth of vitamins and supplements, courtesy of Twinlab, before heading to work.

On the way, slip a Robbins disc — “Hour of Power” if it’s a long commute, “Fifteen Minutes to Fulfillment” if it’s not — into the CD player to prepare you for a day of reaching your maximum potential.

• When you arrive at the office, manage your time with the Robbins R.P.M. (Rapid Planning Method), conveniently downloaded into your hand-held computer. If you are having problems with a co-worker, refer quickly to Mr. Robbins’s “Emotional Fitness,” which reminds you that no one “comes to work intending to screw up” and tells you “to take a more understanding approach to the problem.”

• For lunch, you can enjoy a Pure Energy protein drink. Afterward, you can have a quick conversation with your personal coach. (An hour a week with Mr. Robbins will run you $1 million a year, but there are several less-expensive options in the Yellow Pages.)

And when you call it a day, get back in your car, pop in the disc on “The Power of Relationships” and prepare to greet your ideal mate, open to possibility.

Posted in Cults, Tony Robbins | Comments Off on Tony Robbins’ Weird Dietary Advice

Anthony Robbins – Unleash The Power Within

I’ve been listening to Tony Robbins since the early 1990s. I’m a fan. I’m a devotee.

I also know that I have an attraction to cults. I like joining things that promise transformation.

So I’ve been Googling Tony Robbins and found some disturbing stuff.

First, his Wikipedia entry has been sanitized. Hmm. It doesn’t even list his real name as Anthony Jairek.

Reminds me of when I was enthusiastic about Kundalini Yoga and Googled Yogi Bhajan and found out that his Wikipedia entry had been sanitized. That pushed me to keep searching.

Mamadrama posts 8/15/11 to the Rick Ross cult-busting site about her experience with a boyfriend who was a follower of Tony Robbins and her experience at Tony’s Unleash the Power Within seminar:

My partner is a HUGE HUGE fan of TR’s. I’ve listened to CD’s in the car with him on trips. Some of what he said was interesting. Nothing earth-shattering or new but the way he said it was good! Although, his voice grates on my nerves.

My parnter and I have separate bank accounts. He has saved quite well over the years and pays for the major expenses so he normally doesn’t run anything past me nor does he need to. I use my money to pay for house releated things so I barely pay attention to what he’s doing – esp if he can call it a business expense. Let’s just say I had no idea how much they ‘got’ him for over the past 7 years! OMG I was FURIOUS when I found out how much Mastery University cost and how conniving they are at getting people to sign up! He went to Mastery University a few months before I went with him to UPW. He started making some drastic diet change before UPW and was getting a little wierd but things have been UNBEARABLE since.

SO, about UPW. At the UPW, I saw right through this crap immediately. The stories he was telling were over the top – an 85 year old nun running triathlons with a broken leg? Come on, really???? I started googling some of this garbage on my phone in the middle of his monotonous, narcissistic rants and couldn’t find back-up info. I just laughed it off – ok he’s trying to make a point. Let it go…..

I think the moment when the rage started to rise up in me was when I looked at my parnter and at the people around the room and saw a bunch of brainwashed manic crazy people – esp my partner – I swear I could almost hear him ‘bahhhhh’ing and I think there was a red-juice ring around his mouth. I was not engaged at all. I refused to get up and jump up and down and don’t you DARE give me a friggin’ massage, weird stranger!

I tried to get involved at some points but it was so STUPID – the whole thing was just ridiculous. And, peppered throughout the entire thing – ESP when everyone was in a deep trance state – were sales pitches for Mastery University. It was SICKENING! I thought buying a car was bad! The cheesy lady trying to sell me undercarriage coating wasn’t as sleezy as Tony and Joseph!

All kidding aside here is the part that enrages me – my partner stopped taking his meds. He is going 100000 miles an hour. He is not sleeping, he’s exercising manically. He barely eats and the only thing he does eat is raw food. He is working three times more than ever. Some of what he is doing is good but some of it is unsustainable. This is not who he was before Tony Robbins. The energy is so uncomfortable to be around. He is unbearable. He talks really loud in public so people around us know he is STEPPING UP! Sometimes he’s very lucid and I think “ok maybe it’s me and he’s just doing great” but other times I think his energy is NOT normal. It’s NOT healthy and I think he might be spiraling towards a psychosis. His level of grandiosity is delusional!

He has told me that if I do not STEP UP we need to get divorced. So, I’m doing the raw food thing when he’s around. I’m working out (I look good already and I have a wonderful life – not sure what he thinks needs to change but I’m doing whatever he thinks I need to do because I do not know what else to do right this second). I’m just afraid that he is going to lose everything if he keeps going down this path.

PS. To update you – he crashed and is back on his meds and in a outpatient treatment program. Tony Robbins should be ashamed of himself. I’m devastated – I’m worried about him and that his business is going under. We could lose everything. I despise what Tony’s methods have done to him. How can that man sleep at night? If you could see what this has done to my family, especially our little boys, it would break your hearts. And I hold a security clearance – if we have to default on our mortgage or go bankrupt I could lose my job! What did we do to deserve this? he can’t work – he can barely function. But I’m sure Tony would spin this as my husband’s choice.

THE ANTICULT RESPONDS: Sadly what is happening here, happens every week.

Vulnerable people get whipped into a manic-trance state, and spend tens of thousands on Tony Robbins seminars.
Some get cleaned out of hundreds of thousands of dollars for other schemes they have running.

If a person has a past with mania, they can easily be flipped into mania.
And everyone knows where that ends, with a total breakdown.

Decades ago, Tony Robbins learned the advanced NLP techniques to manipulate and influence people, and he’s just running the same patterns.
Many broken people lie in the ditch as collateral damage.

And they just keep getting away with it, as the media does not have the skill to dissect and explain what is being done to people.
But its all explained in these forums.

Robbins and his crew know this happens all the time, at every Event people are getting seriously psychologically damaged and hurt.

Robbins stands up there and claims he can reintegrate “multiple personalities” on the spot from the stage. Of course, he is just repeating bullshit from Richard Bandler and some NLP nonsense. He makes all sorts of nonsensical psychological claims, with no training, education, experience, or even a shred of honesty or integrity.

Anyone who approaches the Robbins corp after events about the psychological damage they have sustained will be ignored and referred to their lawyers. Its a totally ruthless business.
And of course they will blame the victim.
And attack those who point this out.
Various people have put up websites over the years criticizing what goes on at the Robbins seminars, and they have been forced down.

These intensive LGAT seminars can be extremely psychologically dangerous to certain people. Many people flip into psychosis or mania.
In fact, the LGAT seminar leaders try to push people into hypo-mania, as that is when people will spend their entire credit line on some worthless products.

The harsh reality is that the people running these LGAT seminars that damage people, do not care. They know most people get no benefit, and many get hurt, but they don’t care. They blame the victim, or just block it out of their mind.

These are the same kind of people who can stand up in front of people, and tell bald-faced lies, over and over again, for years on end. They don’t have a normal conscience. Their conscience only extends to me, myself, and I, and their girlfriends and kids.

Its terrible what happens to all of these people who get hurt.
Hopefully he can get some good medical treatment, and get back to where he was before.

How to stop these damaging LGAT seminars?
The government doesn’t care, unless people die during the seminar, and even then sometimes there are no charges as its ruled an accident or suicide.
Perhaps only large class action lawsuits by groups of people can be effective?

Anyone who doubts the power of these techniques, just has to get a free comp ticket (do not pay!) to one of the events, from a contact they have with a promoter, or company. And just go and sit there for a couple of days, and watch and take notes of what guys like Robbins are doing to people.

When you see people whose eyes are lit up like saucers, who are maxing out their credit at the back of the room buying everything, who are screaming and going into mania, then the true power of these techniques is in plain view.

WALTER POSTS: Every time I see Joel Olsteen on TV, I see another slicker more gentler version of Robbins. It’s even more interesting to watch people who are listening to Olsteen just zone out when they hear/see him. It’s clear he has had formal training.

CORBOY POSTS:

As chance had it, X reappeared years later and gave another lecture. I decided to go and observe him and studied up once more on what Walter1963 and The Anticult had written here.

This time X told many of the same stories. I was observing him, hawklike.

This time, most of the people in the audience became drowsy. One woman fell right asleep. She was in the front row and flopped limp, with her notebook slipping from her fingers.

A man seated in the row ahead of me went to sleep sitting up, his head tilted back, his mouth opened and he began snoring. Others were rubbing their eyes.

And…I found I was also falling asleep, despite knowing that this guy was doing trance induction. He was gazing at us quite cooly, and showed no embarassment at how we were falling to sleep. Most lecturers would have been embarassed and suggested a stretch break.

Try as I might, my eyelids kept clamping shut on me. I pinched myself, ground my feet into the floor, kept reminding myself this guy was using “tech”.

My handwriting turned into a scrawl.

After twenty minutes, I left. As soon as I did, I was bright and alert again.

Friends, NLP is that powerful. Here I was, keyed up, awake and alert and ready to ID this persons trance induction techniques.

Even I was getting eyelid spasms and becoming somnolent.

And what was amazing was the uniformity of response in both cases.

Lecture #1–people were hyperalert and devotionally focused and agog

Lecture #2–people were mostly falling asleep, or drowsy.

NLP is that powerful.

And unlike old fashioned knock out drops, it leaves no trace for toxicology tests to pick up.

GOOD ENOUGH POSTS: Corboy’s post reminded me of a book I read this past summer: Oran Canfield’s Long Past Stopping: A Memoir. In it he describes how his father Jack whipped his audience into a frenzy. I felt very uncomfortable reading the effects this man had on others.

Does Jack use these techniques? Perhaps the question should be is there anyone out there in the self-help, new age, political circuits who doesn’t use NLP? If it’s that effective and if so many people are already using it, I would imagine there would be pressure to use these techniques to be able to compete.

WALTER1963 POSTS: The problem is, is that the NLP big dogs have condoned unethical and illegal behavior from day one. They won’t condemn Robbins or Bandler( I can understand why given the litgiousness nature of both) or stop mind-f**king clients anymore than they’d stop gouging people for their workshops.

IMO people are better off avoiding it altogether outside of those who want to study how manipulation is done.

If you want to learn Ericksonian Hypnosis, check out Stephan Gilligan or Jeffrey Zieg.
For Self-Hypnosis, check out Yoga Nidra or Autogenics.
If you want learn about language, study Steven Pinker or even General Semantics(S.I. Hayakawa “Language in thought and Action”).
If you want learn about the latest in neuroscience from a layman’s perspective study Rick Hanson’s or John Arden for starters.
If you want to get more in touch with your body, study Feldenkrais.
For general personal improvement look at the works of Bernie Zilbergeld and Arnold Lazarus.

Study of these is relatively cheap since their books and DVD’s can be had low cost. Compare them to the $2500 seminars NLPers charge.

Posted in NLP, Tony Robbins | Comments Off on Anthony Robbins – Unleash The Power Within

John Gray’s Bogus Degrees

From CultNews.com: The synergy between all of Gray’s various interests and enterprises have undoubtedly made him a wealthy man.

But the basis upon which John Gray built his professional career and counseling conglomerate is not sound and seems to be essentially faked.

The relationship guru who constantly promotes himself as “Dr. John Gray” and lists a “Ph.D.” has only one accredited degree, a high school diploma.

Previously CultNews.com reported that Gray’s doctorate is “worthless.” According to California’s attorney general a “diploma mill” that was later shut down issued it.

CultNews kept checking further and can now report that both of John Gray’s other purported degrees are also unaccredited and essentially worthless too.

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The Dangers Of Large Group Awareness Seminars Like Landmark, Tony Robbins, Etc

Cos posts to RickRoss.com: I actually think having some type of Hypomanic episode after one of these particular seminars is not rare at all.
Some folks go into a mild form of a manic episode, and many folks seem to go into what is called a Hypomanic episode, even if just for a brief period of time. Many other folks just get very “overexcited”. So there is no absolute line, it is more of a continuum.

All you have to do is look at the DSM criteria, and realize that only 3 of the criteria have to be met to qualify as a hypomanic episode.

For those who have never been to a seminar of the Guru in question, they need to understand that the audience is PUSHED into what is called a “Peak State”, for hour after hour, 12-16 hours a day, for a number of days at a time. The seminar can go from 9am to 1am at times. So the goal in the seminar, is to “keep your energy up” to a 10 out of 10. You are literally instructed to PUSH yourself all day long to do this. People are instructed to jump up and down, and do all sorts of exercises to get themselves into a “Peak State”. I know this sounds nuts, but when you are there, most people are trying to do this, as the Guru is telling you to do this. Also, there are no breaks, they go right through lunch, so your blood sugar is going to go low, yet at the same time you are making enormous physical demands on your body, so your body is going to roll out all sorts of “emergency survival drugs” to get that energy you need for these massive energy demands.
And you don’t want to leave to take a pee, as you are afraid you might miss something. After doing this dozens and dozens of times, you can see people just get caught up in it, and mixed in with everything else, including the mass crowd hysteria, people literally start to go into a form of “mania”. Now I am not talking about full-blown Mania, where a person is running down the street in their underwear claiming that they can talk to God. I am just talking about some of the criteria listed in the DSM.

If one has seen the speaker in question, and if one reviews the criteria given, and even applies it to the speaker in question, one can see there is plenty of this to go around.
And not only is there no screening, as I have said, people are encouraged, and socially pressured into “pushing themselves” all day long. If you don’t do this, then you are “not playing full out” and you will be “playfully” berated, and even socially shamed when everyone around you is doing this to themselves all day long. If you refused to do it, people would look at you like there is something wrong with you, or that you had an attitude problem, or something. So there is lots of social pressure to conform.

Again, I think if you are not eating enough food, and not having enough sleep, yet you are making ENORMOUS energy demands on your body by pushing it ALL DAY into these “Peak States”, its seems logical to me that your body is going to go into “emergency life or death survival mode”, and is going to roll out all of your energy stores, and even internal “drugs” to give you that energy to get you through this false “life or death emergency”.

You really have to see it to believe it in this case. When people do this “firewalk” after doing all of this other stuff, you can just see them go into a literal FRENZY, and these feelings linger for a few days after. Of course, after this “high” the person is going to crash, and go back to normal, or maybe even get very depressed, and then of course BLAME THEMSELVES for not being an alleged superman like the Guru. (no one ever sees what the guru does after these intense seminar weekends…that would spoil the Wizards illusion….)

But some folks start to think as they are TOLD BY THE GURU that they can LIVE in that overexcited manic state they were pushed into at the seminar.
So what do they do?
They go back to the seminar, over and over again.
There are many people who have done 10 firewalks.
They want to capture that “high” again.

Its yet another unattainable goal that keeps folks coming back over and over.

Here are some of the Thoughts/Behaviors they are instructed to repeat over and over.

-THE MORE ENERGY I USE, THE MORE ENERGY I HAVE.
-YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY LIVE AT LEVEL 10.
-Push yourself beyond where you are comfortable. Push yourself beyond your comfort zone with repetition.
-you are instructed to push yourself to emotional “thresholds”, both painful and pleasurable.
-people try to Anchor these feelings in by screaming “YES!”, and by jumping up and down, and pounding their fists to their chests, etc.

Again, this does not tell the entire picture. But just imagine hundreds of people, pushing themselves into a Peak State for 14 hrs or more a day, not eating enough, lack of sleep, mass crowd hysteria, jumping up and down, laughing, crying, screaming, and doing every crazy thing you can think of, and eventually your body must just give you a few shots of some powerful internal drugs to keep you going, in this “false life or death emergency”. So people get this SURGE of energy, and they need less sleep, and they feel like Superpeople.

You can literally see all sorts of people saying things like,

I CAN DO ANYTHING.
I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD..
NOTHING CAN STOP ME
I CAN LIVE FOREVER.
etc.

People are actually encouraged to have these types of bloated and grandiouse thoughts, which are a critieria of hypomania and a manic episode. They are NOT healthy thoughts. They are sick thoughts, and need to be modified. (I can just see the followers of the Guru FREAK OUT when I say that).

I am quite certain that those who design these seminars could even tell you the specific drugs the body releases to cope with these extreme demands. I might look it up myself.
So it really could literally be a type of drug addiction.

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