From Amir Levine’s book ATTACHED: The secure pick up emotional cues without getting emotionally reactive like the anxiously attached. Nor are they closed off like avoidants. They’re consistently the happiest people around, have the best relationships, and make those around them more secure.
One sign you’re with an emotionally avoidant — they keep rhapsodizing about the perfection of the one who got away. Avoidants spend a great deal of time romanticizing a past relationship. It’s easier than dealing with the messy present. It’s a deactivating strategy to turn down your current relationship.
Being avoidant is not a self-sufficient life, rather it is constant struggle to suppress our inherent attachment desires.
Avoidants rarely look inward, and rarely seek or accept help. Thus, they rarely change.
I found that the pain of romantic break-ups was cumulative (until I started learning my lessons in my 40s).
