I Call Emma For The First Time

From my live cam chat:

Gina:  Dad will be there too
Gina:  both Dads
YourMoralLeader:  let me talk to your father
YourMoralLeader:  my dad and his dad
Gina:  have the talk Luke
ANYTIMEASAP:  heh fill me in  whats on with our emma ?
Gina:  Luke you need an adjustment
YourMoralLeader:  how?
Gina:  we want to see those gorgeous eyes
YourMoralLeader:  anyone got emma’s #?
WELSH:  someone just got banned i’ve never seen that before in the moral leaders room?
Gina:  you are our moral center
Gina:  but you are off kilter
Gina:  don’t use that # you found on the bathroom wall last night
YourMoralLeader:  ringing
YourMoralLeader:  ringing
Emma:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  what do I do with an 18yo girl who wont pick up my call?
YourMoralLeader:  spank her?
Emma:  lmao!!!!!!!!
guest14:  Do you know that she really is a she?
russiandragon:  some say toyboy
Emma:  lol
Gina:  don’t laugh your a s s off… there won’t b anything to spank
ANYTIMEASAP:   your a goood pr guy kuke. hope she is sensible
Emma:  Tomorrow Luke…
YourMoralLeader:  thanks ASAP
russiandragon:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  I want you now
Emma:  I know I felt the vibrations
russiandragon:  lol
Gina:  1 800 emma now
Gina:  kiss your tzitzit
YourMoralLeader:  i dont recognize that part of myself
WELSH:  bk
Emma:  lol
russiandragon:  mm
russiandragon:  wb
Emma:  lol huffy Levi
guest91:  still off your medication there fruitcake?
YourMoralLeader:  There will be blood
YourMoralLeader:  yes
Gina:  no slurp πŸ™
YourMoralLeader:  is that wrong?
Emma:  no πŸ™
YourMoralLeader:  i was gonna wait till emma’s bday to call
YourMoralLeader:  but gina shoved me
Emma:  lol
Gina:  OOPS!
Gina:  Sorry
Gina:  should have given us the heads up
Gina:  can you hold out until then?
Emma:  lol
Gina:  Luke who does the laundry?
YourMoralLeader:  me now
YourMoralLeader:  emma soon
Gina:  quarters?
Emma:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  y
Gina:  or your saving them for the vibrating bed
User ANYTIMEASAP changed their name to atlanticcurrent.
YourMoralLeader:  would you like a vibrating bed emma?
Gina:  she’ll settle for a bed
Emma:  hmmm nope
Emma:  lol
Gina:  water bed?
Emma:  Whoa yeah!
Emma:  lol
atlanticcurrent:    she settle for a settle
Emma:  lol that didnt sound good
guest93:  hey luke, I’m gonna build a shelter for the homeless
guest93:  you know, to give your momma a place to live
YourMoralLeader:  thanks 93
YourMoralLeader:  how about me?
guest93:  you can join her luke
guest93:  you look fit for it
YourMoralLeader:  got any grub, mate?
Emma:  Not really luke
Emma:  You should have soup
Emma:  πŸ˜‰
YourMoralLeader:  i need me sum emma
Emma:  yep
Gina:  slurp slurp
Emma:  lol
atlanticcurrent:   luke is gettin a pot belly !!!
atlanticcurrent:   LOL
Gina:  Emma stirs his pot
Gina:  bubbling over
Gina:  whats in your movie que
guest93:  what’s that you’re eating luke, gruel?
atlanticcurrent:  GINA WHERE ARE YOU/
Emma:  Bedtime.. Gnight Gina, Luke xoxoxoxoxox
Emma:  Take care
YourMoralLeader:  gnight
guest95:  that looks like sugar pps
YourMoralLeader:  xoooooooooooooooooooooooooos
Emma:  xxxxxxxx
guest93:  looks like something you might find on a pub step on a sunday morning, luke
Gina:  Bye Emma XXXXXX
User Emma left the room.
YourMoralLeader:  i miss that girl
YourMoralLeader:  she does strange things to my heart
YourMoralLeader:  and other parts of me
guest93:  you mean you get colonic spasms too luke?
guest95:  what an image
guest95:  lol
atlanticcurrent:  huh
guest93:  mind you, come to think of it, I can tell by the look on your face
Gina:  She did the room proud in your absence Luke
YourMoralLeader:  how so?
Gina:  Leading in your place
guest93:  well you often look like you’re pinching a loaf when you’re on cam
Gina:  as a good Rebbitzen does
atlanticcurrent:  off now , night loonies
guest93:  kinda like you need………well, a good s**t
guest93:  to put it bluntly
YourMoralLeader:  is that bad?
guest93:  not at all
Gina:  floaters
Gina:  do you after extra milk left?
Gina:  have*
YourMoralLeader:  rice milk
YourMoralLeader:  all gone
guest95:  ewwww gross
guest93:  sounds like Luke’s watching ‘Debbie Does Frankenstein Whilst Meeting The Abbots’
guest93:  if you know what I mean
guest93:  and I think frankenstein does
YourMoralLeader:  is that wrong?
guest93:  so tell me luke, when you hit 40 and realised that adolescence was never going to play much of a part in your life, did you feel any form of concern?
guest95:  lol
guest96:  as a moral leader you rate 00000000000000000000000000000
guest93:  I feel about as morally led as a nun up a garden path by a pimp into a cucumber field
YourMoralLeader:  I can relive my adolescence with emma
YourMoralLeader:  but make it more fun
YourMoralLeader:  more successful
guest93:  I think emma is the only advocate you’ve got luke
YourMoralLeader:  I’ll be the quarterback and she’ll be the cheerleader/homecoming queen
guest93:  sounds just peachy luke
YourMoralLeader:  and I’m flying to ireland to take her to her prom
guest95:  you give change luke?
YourMoralLeader:  Meet the parents
YourMoralLeader:  this old hairy jew shows up on her doorstep, tells pops he met Emma online
guest93:  they’ll like a hard working boy like you luke
guest93:  the irish have a reputation of loving loser wastrels with no form of self-maintenance
guest96:  fire away lukey boy, you cant take advantage of the irish
guest96:  you must justify a means
guest93:  I’m sure when emma’s folks see  your living habits, they’ll be only too pleased to take you in
guest93:  you can wrap tefillin for them luke
guest93:  how nice would that be huh?
YourMoralLeader:  I’ll tell pops i hang out on a cam all day and take paypal donations
YourMoralLeader:  God will provide for me and his daughter
guest93:  I’m sure he’ll be thrilled
YourMoralLeader:  God = pops
guest93:  I wonder how the semitic politic will fare in the roman catholic land of Ireland luke?
guest96:  irish history would suit your ideals
YourMoralLeader:  i wonder if he will be cool with me hanging out in kollel for a few years
guest96:  whats with the baby crying
guest93:  it’s the main course 96
guest93:  it will be ready by the time luke finishes his starter
guest99:  you need a shave buddie
Gina:  Luke you have your hands full t’night
guest93:  have you ever had sex with a woman luke?
Gina:  good luck
Gina:  xxoooxxxooxoo
YourMoralLeader:  no
YourMoralLeader:  i’m waiting for marriage
User Gina left the room.
guest93:  or anything remotely resembling it?
YourMoralLeader:  as g-d wants
guest93:  really?
YourMoralLeader:  nope

Shirl:  busy on phone huh?
YourMoralLeader:  hi
Shirl:  whats the topic?
Shirl:  smiles
YourMoralLeader:  leah kleim
YourMoralLeader:  rabbi abuse
Shirl:  what is leah kleim?
YourMoralLeader:  controversial blogger
Shirl:  why can’t i see you typing?
YourMoralLeader:  can now
Shirl:  oh i see now
Shirl:  its very bright though
YourMoralLeader:  turn down light
Shirl:  ah much better
YourMoralLeader:  tell me about yourself
Shirl:  i live in Canada
YourMoralLeader:  work?
Shirl:  quit my job…new boss was not nice
YourMoralLeader:  oy
YourMoralLeader:  what r u good at?
Shirl:  music and art
Shirl:  but that was not my job
YourMoralLeader:  ur a good writer
Shirl:  painter
Shirl:  i worked at a law office
YourMoralLeader:  what would you do for work if you knew you couldn’t fail?
Shirl:  i didn’t fail at the law office..it was injustice
YourMoralLeader:  i know, but whats your dream job?
Shirl:  i had a dream job, part-time and knew the job like the back of my hand
YourMoralLeader:  doing what?
Shirl:  reception/secretarial…i’m a people person
YourMoralLeader:  painter?
Shirl:  i have a fine arts degree but have not painted for a few years
YourMoralLeader:  why?
Shirl:  good question….i guess its because of computers
Shirl:  they distract you
YourMoralLeader:  do you write much?
Shirl:  and you get addicted to them
Shirl:  i think i would be a good writer if i did
YourMoralLeader:  do you have a blog?
Shirl:  no, i hate blogs
YourMoralLeader:  why?
Shirl:  because i’m a private person
YourMoralLeader:  what do you want to do with your life?
Shirl:  have not figured that out
YourMoralLeader:  when did you graduate college?
Shirl:  are you a writer?
YourMoralLeader:  yes, of blog lukeford.net
Shirl:  and you write about?
YourMoralLeader:  judaism, hollywood myself
Shirl:  what of Hollywood?
YourMoralLeader:  check it out!
User Shirl left the room.
Shirl:  had a quick peek
Shirl:  i just turned up my speakers, did you say something?
YourMoralLeader:  just chatting on phone
YourMoralLeader:  mainly listening
YourMoralLeader:  http://lukeford.net/essays/contents/photos.htm
YourMoralLeader:  those are hollywood photos
Shirl:  are you talking to someone who came into this site?
YourMoralLeader:  no
palestine4ever:  "r u afraid of emotional intimacy?"
YourMoralLeader:  no
Shirl:  this is the first time i’ve been to easy streaming for months, i used to wander around in here a lot before
palestine4ever:  Luke, don’t use txt msg shorthand in a heart-to-heart talk with the ladies
YourMoralLeader:  hey arab
YourMoralLeader:  sorry
YourMoralLeader:  from the heart
palestine4ever:  I’m just trying, Luke, I’m trying…
palestine4ever:  I will make an angry jihadi of you yet
Shirl:  why anger?
palestine4ever:  Luke should be angry.
palestine4ever:  Hi Shirl
Shirl:  hi pal
palestine4ever:  But yes, Luke should be angry.
YourMoralLeader:  palestine is the funniest, shirl, you just have to give him time

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been noted in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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