YourMoralLeader: I captured Emma during an online war, rabbi, so first I’ll have to shave her head and let mourn for her family for a month
guest66: i will sit shivah
guest14: Shhhhh…..goyim are here
guest66: goy avek
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: this online war was not a holy war
YourMoralLeader: yes it was rabbi
guest2: only one hole
YourMoralLeader: it was for peace
guest14: Barak Hussein Obama – good for the Jews?
guest2: Emma = good for the Jews?
guest2: next first lady
guest66: luke + emma = bad for klal israel
guest14: Plus, the news that Barbara Walters was having an affair with a US Senator from Massachusetts, and a shvartze at that.
guest2: Luke and Emma had nothing to do with that
guest14: This was in the seventies
guest66: luke/emma’s offspring = moshiah is officially here
guest14: Just a disturbing day for Israel
guest14: Every time you joke about Luke and Emma, a Jewish woman cries.
YourMoralLeader: Rabbi, does God love us unconditionally? Does he love me and Hitler the same?
guest14: A Jew knows not to ask such a question.
guest14: Judaism is not Romper Room
guest66: therefore he asks
guest66: i am that jewess crying in my borscht
guest14: The sight of a Jewish man (sort of) extolling the virtues of a gentile virgin can only bring tears of anguish to the Jewish woman of a certain vintage who bought into feminism.
guest66: luke + hitler = my last date from hell
guest14: Little did she know that her "liberation" would be so bitter.
guest2: where’s Emma when you need her?
guest66: jewish woman of a certain vintage – who the hell talks that way
guest14: Emma is a modest young girl
guest66: luke is a man of modest means
guest2: good shidduch
guest66: perfect match
guest14: Another victory for 88
guest14: Jewish women need to grab the bull by the balls
guest14: I call upon single Jewish women to identify Jewish men like Luke Ford, force their way into his home, and extract the necessary semen by any means necessary
guest66: i thought by the horns –
guest14: Leave no semen for the shiksa to use
guest66: give me a good tip on how to extract his semen if he does not cooperate
guest66: this will be my new mission
guest2: thats it… a good tip
guest66: he does not have one
guest14: First, use your sexual powers
guest66: now step 2
guest2: be a pussy cat
User guest63 left the room.
guest66: as luke is really not jewish he will be a tough nut to crack
guest66: or his nuts are up his crack
guest14: You will not be able to seduce him with that sort of attitude
guest14: Think of Lot’s daughters
guest66: you are right mea culpa
guest66: i will take my special seducer pill & will show lots of cleavage …that should get me my seaman
guest66: & i will procreate for the good of israelites everywhere
YourMoralLeader: Thank the good L-rd
YourMoralLeader: Emma’s here
Emma: Hiya hun
guest14: User Emma, the power of your fresh eggs has cowed us all
guest14: Your pheromones can travel even via interweb
YourMoralLeader: The lofty issues we discuss here are no laughing matter, Emma
guest66: fresh eggs vs powdered
guest14: Man desires fresh eggs.
Emma: hmmm yes Luke
guest66: its not all that its cracked up to be
guest2: emma, what are your feelings about being the center of discussion here while you are gone?
Emma: I am?
guest14: She is the center of attention as the human egg is the target of a multitude of individual sperm cells, each vying with all the others for the chance to be the one.
guest2: right… your name is NEVER mentioned here 🙂
Emma: Well that would depend on what it is you guys discuss about me
guest2: your virtues
Emma: Im sure Luke has you guys under hand
guest14: Your fertility.
YourMoralLeader: Please 14
guest14: There also is some talk of your yicchus
YourMoralLeader: yichus = lineage
guest14: Luke is big on such talk.
YourMoralLeader: = yichus emma
guest2: family tree
guest14: But mostly when you are not here, Luke and I discuss what most old men talk about – politics
YourMoralLeader: I am not old!
YourMoralLeader: I think I’ll go for a walk
guest2: and nose hair
guest66: alte kakers – all of you
guest14: True that
guest2: sinkers / floaters
guest14: Luke, are any more cats missing from your neighborhood?
guest14: Good, because I don’t think Emma wants a fur coat that badly
guest66: fur is murder
Emma: Where you walking to Luke?
YourMoralLeader: to bed
YourMoralLeader: Do you want a new fur coat Emma?
guest2: say tefilat haderach
Emma: I dont like fur
Emma: Its itchy
guest14: So I went to the Nigerian street vendor outside the building and purchased a $2 bottle of perfume and sprayed some on myself
Emma: You idiot
guest14: I then returned to the group of women, and suddenly they were interested in me
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: post-sexual chaim?
guest14: Because I had the smell of women on me.
Emma: I will believe it when i see it
Emma: Its all in your head hun
guest14: I did not pursue them because I am unable to have sex, but the concept was proven.
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: why can’t you have sex?
guest2: what scent?
guest14: One of them held my hand
guest14: I am post-sexual
guest14: So you see, it works.
Emma: My cam isnt working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: i don’t need any fancy perfume
Emma: Where is the salvation!
guest2: just man scent
guest14: Men who want to appear to be "with it" should spray themselves with cheap women’s perfume to get some attention
YourMoralLeader: mine works
Emma: Too many in your room
Emma: Someone leave lol
guest14: InStyle Impression of Pleasure is what I used
Emma: Oh thats not being "with it" Chaim
guest14: At least one of those women wanted me. she invited me up to her hotel room but I demurred
guest14: Facts are facts, Emma
guest2: still no minyan here
Emma: And dreaming is dreaming
guest14: Or as JBS Haldane once put it, "The universe is not only queerer than we imagine, it is queerer than we can imagine"
guest2: maybe she just wanted to steal your perfume
guest14: Emma, I am just reporting the result of a social experiment I undertook recently
Emma: Yes Chaim
Emma: Spread the good word
guest2: results are inconclusive
guest14: I am doing that right here
Emma: We are proud of you
guest14: Were I sexual, I’d have had coitus that night
Emmo: i’m so proud
Emmo: what does it mean to be post-sexual?
guest14: It means that I no longer feel any desire to have sex
Emma: Not gettin any
Emmo: are you getting any, Emma?
Emma: No comment
Emmo: oh c’mon
Emmo: give us a hint
Emma: How about take the hint?
Emmo: what’s the hint?
guest14: Emma, the rules are different between men and women
Emma: Has Luke went to bed yet?
guest14: For example, spraying myself with women’s scent (perfume) attracted women who felt, subconsciously, that I was a man whom other women desired. On the other hand, when a woman sprays herself with male semen, it does not thereby make her more appealing to men
guest14: So donot seek to emulate me in this.
Emma: Try some lipstick too Chaim
Emma: Maybe a nice wee frock too
guest66: women are from mars & men are from penis’
Emma: Oh and dont forget the handbag
guest76: and stiletto heels
guest14: Emma, the idea is not to look like a woman, but to look like a man whom women want
guest14: And have touched
guest14: Women respond favorably to this; men do not
guest76: venus / mars
guest14: You need to know these things if you are going to have luck with Luke
guest66: yeah like you are a maven on this chaim
guest14: I have deeper knowledge than some might suppose
Emma: I dont need advice with that thanks
guest76: how deep?
guest14: I draw upon the wisdom of experts
guest14: You don’t, Emma.
guest14: You have your youth on your side
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: why do that if you can just walk around with hot chicks on your elbow
guest76: Emma has good perfume
Emma: Just be myself is my moto
guest76: and good "scents"
guest14: yes, that will work for you
guest14: But for Emma, this chat room would not exist
Emma: It exisisted before me
guest66: i’m learning so much on how to pick up a guy i think i am about to kill mysel
guest76: non scents
guest14: Yeah, and it attracted maybe two or three people
guest66: phermones hormones = i am moaning
guest76: you do it all the time
Emma: Luke still here?
guest14: Blogging is not easy, Emma. A man must have ample sleep to do it well
Emmo: just be yourself is your motto? but it doesn’t seem to be working
Emmo: as you’re not "getting any"
Emma: My choice Emmo
guest66: my hat goes off to you emm
guest66: & nothing more
guest14: It works well when nature wants it to work well
User guest78 left the room.
guest66: your taiva = the teva
guest14: Women need to be ingenue-like
guest14: feminine, girlish, sexy, and wear clean tasteful clothes
palestine4ever: Luke, dammit
palestine4ever: you already alienated half of the female of the species with your former employment
palestine4ever: now you’re going to alienate the few that are left with your "religion"
palestine4ever: just stop it and become a nice protestant
YourMoralLeader: i’m more successful than ever with the ladies
palestine4ever: she clearly is getting grossed out by your abnormal facial growth
YourMoralLeader: I love G-d more than Emma
palestine4ever: now, you and i, as followers of esoteric creeds, can nod in understanding at this
palestine4ever: but how will the wee catholic girl explain to momma that "God will smite him if he cuts his bush"?
YourMoralLeader: who cares what the goyim think
palestine4ever: it’s not like abstaining from meat on friday
palestine4ever: you should, my friend
palestine4ever: the yentas won’t have you
palestine4ever: that’s pretty clear
YourMoralLeader: i want you to dance at my wedding
YourMoralLeader: in shallah
palestine4ever: you, the poor but honest man, picked the one religion in which money plays a crucial role
palestine4ever: you are the only poor Person of the Jewish Persuasion that I have ever met
YourMoralLeader: all these things are in the hands of Allah who is all merciful
palestine4ever: this saddens me, because you’d be bangin’ Islamic nookie left and right
palestine4ever: they all want nice light-skinned children
palestine4ever: while I believe Prof. Kevin MacDonald spoke well on the Judaic practice of insular selection
palestine4ever: and I will dance at your wedding
palestine4ever: I will even wish a Mazel Tov in shame
palestine4ever: and throw glasses around or whatever you folks do
palestine4ever: that chair dance thing is pretty dangerous though
palestine4ever: where are the jewesses that come here?
palestine4ever: it’s a sausage fest
YourMoralLeader: no young hotties except for chavi
palestine4ever: I said "jewesses"
palestine4ever: so this safira
palestine4ever: what are you in mourning for?
User guest89 left the room.
palestine4ever: something that happened to someone else’s relatives, I’m sure
YourMoralLeader: it is not clear
YourMoralLeader: various views
YourMoralLeader: when we are told to be sad, it is easy
palestine4ever: I should have guessed.
YourMoralLeader: dont need specifics
palestine4ever: I should have guessed.
YourMoralLeader: dont need specifics
palestine4ever: I will show you the way, Luke.
palestine4ever: Oppress women, make any show of their sexuality a crime…
palestine4ever: beat them with whips and hoses if they transgress…
palestine4ever: and they’ll be tigers in the sack. This, I assure you.
palestine4ever: Then you won’t have this "demographic problem".
YourMoralLeader: You speak truth
palestine4ever: See, you understand.
YourMoralLeader: Wonder what switch tunred in Emma’s head that made her come back in here?
palestine4ever: Being an outsider gives you a new perspective.
palestine4ever: Was she gone?
YourMoralLeader: keep coming back
palestine4ever: I only got to the "cut your beard" bit when I was so flummoxed with rage I had to enter.
YourMoralLeader: I wonder what is the psychology of the beautiful young woman who finds me attractive?
palestine4ever: I will NOT permit Judaism to kill your unborn children that you’re going to have.
palestine4ever: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
YourMoralLeader: Never again
palestine4ever: That’s an interesting question.
palestine4ever: And like all things female, we must have more information on her relationship with her father.
YourMoralLeader: Why do young people like to go eat at 2am after four hours of karaoke?
russiandragon: she is young and hot
russiandragon: and quite nice
palestine4ever: he’s a big boy
palestine4ever: His heart will grow harder, more jaded, more bitter.
russiandragon: i think he needs a good nubile shag
russiandragon: she needs some lifelessons
palestine4ever: He really needs to find a good sugar mommy though before his faux twinkness fades.
russiandragon: well both are possible
palestine4ever: Look at Don Johnson
russiandragon: the young girl for nubile romping
palestine4ever: He passed on hot chicks when he was hot
russiandragon: the sugarlady to save his ass
palestine4ever: then he was reduced to being arm candy for some 75 year old rich woman
palestine4ever: That is Luke’s best option
palestine4ever: but the longer he waits, the older the woman will be
palestine4ever: another 10 years and he’ll be strapping her iron lung on his back for dates
russiandragon: he can try the anna nicole smith style
russiandragon: poor emma though
palestine4ever: Right now, I think he can get women who at least were once hot.
palestine4ever: Down the road, you wind up with the 85 year old version of a librarian.
russiandragon: i think he should shave the beard
palestine4ever: Dragon, I was enraged to see his beard came between Luke and Emma.
palestine4ever: She is so soft spoken, that this must have been bothering her immensely.
russiandragon: she says not
palestine4ever: she LIES!
russiandragon: she says she likes a saisoned beard
russiandragon: i think your right again
palestine4ever: Being Oirish, I think she means, like, a Sean Connery beard
palestine4ever: not the "Chevy Chase as crazy hippie on the drug beach in Fletch" beard
russiandragon: and he’s too immersed in his religion for emma
russiandragon: i don’t see her being the good jewish balabusta
russiandragon: waiting for the husband comming back from his shul
palestine4ever: She’d be hated among the plain yentas in the community.
palestine4ever: It’s a life of loneliness, with her only lifeline to the outside world being Luke.
russiandragon: i have no idea about that
palestine4ever: C’mon, a blue eyed Irish chica? Every non-fashion model in the Orthodox world would hate her.
palestine4ever: You know what the way out of it is?
russiandragon: i’m not at home in the jewish world
palestine4ever: WE ARE ALL EQUAL IN OUR BURLAP SACKS.
russiandragon: well the eyes would still be visable
russiandragon: her eyes r to kill for
palestine4ever: True but we covet blue eyed devils.
palestine4ever: Living with Luke or making yoghurt out of goat’s milk?
palestine4ever: I’m going with the goats, mannnn….
palestine4ever: I will continue to attempt to reform Luke’s life.
palestine4ever: This is my goal.
russiandragon: i fear young emma doesn’t know what she’s getting her self into
palestine4ever: First, if he insists on being unemployed, I will try to push him in the direction of at least using the formidable talents he has
palestine4ever: And then I’ll get him to convert to Islam and all of that (insh’allah)
russiandragon: you are a wise man palistine
palestine4ever: As are you, Dragon
russiandragon: thk you
palestine4ever: He’s actually really good at what he does, though you don’t see it much on lukeford.net anymore.
palestine4ever: He’s one of the most coldblooded ba***rds I’ve ever read, which is admirable for what he does
russiandragon: he’s good, but it doesn’t really earn a descent stable living
russiandragon: he should quit his dayjob
palestine4ever: nope, hence the energy that should go into writing is diverted into trying to capture more and more clicks
palestine4ever: Oh well
palestine4ever: He’s survived thus far (much to many people’s surprise)
russiandragon: this virtual relationship with emma is good and well
palestine4ever: He’d be better off moving to Ireland though than vice versa 🙂
russiandragon: but what about real life
russiandragon: what would he do in ireland
palestine4ever: The same he does here, I guess…
palestine4ever: but with a whole new crowd!
palestine4ever: LA is a cesspool
russiandragon: it’s 5 am here
russiandragon: and luke is a sinker
russiandragon: i went to the movies
russiandragon: had some drinks
palestine4ever: Let us make our alliance to save Luke at another time.
russiandragon: very interesting conversations
palestine4ever: ON A SCHOOL NIGHT?
palestine4ever: for shame!
russiandragon: ok palistine my friend
russiandragon: sleep well
palestine4ever: alrighty, though, see you