I’m Going To Compete With The RCC

Sure, they’ve got the Rabbinical Council of California, but I’m setting up my own kangaroo court. We’ll be overseeing conversions, business disputes and divorces.

We’re going to sponsor beauty contests and add some excitement to Orthodox Judaism.

From my live cam chat:

guest59:  Luke needs sponsorship. 
guest59:  Da Vinci had it.
YourMoralLeader:  how about some gaming companies?
guest59:  What a great idea!
guest59:  I wonder who first suggested that.
guest59:  Pfizer for your Viagra, and gaming companies because that is the demographic you hit.  Or used to hit
guest59:  What a pity you didn’t establish that relationship in the old lukeford.com days, you would be rich now
guest59:  There’d be an Emma on each arm
guest59:  I see the old lady is bugging you
ToTheSea:  Where’s the queen of the chat room today?
guest59:  I’m here
guest59:  I’mkinda shy
GUAPO:  ohh emma real sexy
guest59:  So I switched names
ToTheSea:  Where’s Emma? The lady………who bring Kedushah to our midst.
guest59:  Here I am!
GUAPO:  luke done aged 20 years in about 5
guest59:  Sometimes I feel like being a lady, and sometimes I don’t
GUAPO:  luke angry today
guest59:  Luke looks very distinguished.  Like an important rabbi
guest59:  Like Jesus
GUAPO:  luke you  bone emma?
ToTheSea:  Luke, you have given much more thought to setting up a Kangaroo court to compete with the RCC………?
guest59:  Not a bad idea!
ToTheSea:  We could use set it up at the LA zoo……..
guest59:  Since you are australian, you can arrange for real live kangaroos to sit with you in judgement
ToTheSea:  It would be a great locale. When parents are sitting in court, the kiddies can play with the animals.
GUAPO:  luke i asked you a question muf**ker
guest59:  Are there different races of roo?  Are there black kangaroos and white kangaroos?
ToTheSea:  Luke….are there different races among Kangaroos?
YourMoralLeader:  yes
guest59:  Black and white?
guest59:  Do the Black ones produce chocolate milk?
ToTheSea:  Maybe we could settle matches between the RCC and the Kangaroo court by having them box things out.
guest59:  Luke, I would like it a lot if you cut off a locket of your beard hair and sent it to me.
guest59:  Of course, I would reciprocate
KhunDiddy:  No Emma arrrggghhh!
YourMoralLeader:  yo khun
GUAPO:  luke you aint been real friendly latley
guest59:  I’m here
KhunDiddy:  No Amalek?
KhunDiddy:  Emma you changed your name?
guest59:  I can’t tell who anyone is, except MyMoralLeader
KhunDiddy:  Oy vey INDDED
ToTheSea:  That oy vey sounds very FRUM, Luke!
KhunDiddy:  another day in paradise
GUAPO:  you like wu luke?
KhunDiddy:  but Paradise ain’t Paradise without Emma
ToTheSea:  If you add "Ad Masei" to it, then you’re frum.
ToTheSea:  So, Luke are you going to reveal yourself as the Moshiach?
YourMoralLeader:  sooon
ToTheSea:  Can we start another Rebbe as Moshiach controversy?
YourMoralLeader:  I’m going to give a sign
guest59:  Where is everyone frum?  And is that an American spelling?

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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