I’m Live On My Cam And Practicing My Kiddush

I have severe kiddush performance anxiety syndrome.

Click here to join the conversation.

I’m answering shailos and issuing teshuvos and bestowing semicha (rabbinic ordination) and converting goyim to Orthodox Judaism. All on my cam!

All my decisions are honored by the RCC and the Chief Rabbinate of Israel.

our latest disciple seeking to see how you’re going to Watch me wrap tefillin, study Torah and engineer sweeping moral change?
YourMoralLeader:  yes
FarFromTheTruth:  Not bad……you’re offering personal tutorials……!
InnocentHottie:  Is this how guys live?
InnocentHottie:  Looks depressing.
User InnocentHottie changed their name to JudgeCrater.
JudgeCrater:  A day in the life of . . .
JudgeCrater:  Are you writing any new books?
JudgeCrater:  I just dropped a hundred bucks on Amazon
JudgeCrater:  I wanted to buy some new Luke Ford books, but there weren’t any to be purchased.
YourMoralLeader:  no
JudgeCrater:  I thought Jews serious about their faith declined to hear women sing.
JudgeCrater:  Does not the sound of this woman’s voice inflame your male essence?
JudgeCrater:  And if it does, how can you have holy thoughts?

cavaliera:  i just like to see him smiling
RussianDragon:  it’s like waiting for prince charming and only gettin luke ford
cavaliera:  he looks like he has a good time in front of the cam
guest49:  hiluke you look better without the beard!!!!
RussianDragon:  i think it’s his fetish
guest49:  shave please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RussianDragon:  the more people tuning in the more aroused he gets
guest49:  LUKE  willyou shave for fri then you can grow it back!!!!
guest49:  im mee
User guest49 changed their name to mee.
RussianDragon:  i’m me 2
mee:  will you??
RussianDragon:  32 years of being me
mee:  PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cavaliera:  you are keen mee!
mee:  am i ??
RussianDragon:  a compromise could be shaving his nether regions
cavaliera:  lol
mee:  NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RussianDragon:  lol
FEELtheFORCEluke:  yeah a good razor wouldnt go a miss lol
RussianDragon:  no risk at cutting of something big
FEELtheFORCEluke:  tis the time of year where birds are looking for nests lol
mee:  how do you know FEEL?
FEELtheFORCEluke:  know wot
YourMoralLeader:  yo
cavaliera:  i like luke as he is!
FEELtheFORCEluke:  yo yml
FEELtheFORCEluke:  blimey he spoke
FEELtheFORCEluke:  hehhe
RussianDragon:  mm i think  he  looks more jewish with his beard
mee:  cutting something big FEEL
FEELtheFORCEluke:  i wish mee lol
cavaliera:  true russian
FEELtheFORCEluke:  rap??? blimey
FEELtheFORCEluke:  prefer the opera I think
mee:  MORAL!!!! are you going to shave?????
FEELtheFORCEluke:  yeah YML, about time you shaved that beard off
mee:  xxxxxx
mee:  please
FEELtheFORCEluke:  get ya dinner caught in it
cavaliera:  why is it so important to you mee?
cavaliera:  he taking the beard?
mee:  LUKE mee talking to you!!
cavaliera:  MEE!!!!!!!
cavaliera:  me talking to you!
mee:  cause he looks better without
FEELtheFORCEluke:  i think so too
mee:  good
mee:  haha
cavaliera:  he is his own master
FEELtheFORCEluke:  arnt we all
cavaliera:  lol
FEELtheFORCEluke:  lol
cavaliera:  yes we are
mee:  HE hasnt replyed to mee
FEELtheFORCEluke:  he rarely speaks to anyone
cavaliera:  more christmas -songs?
FEELtheFORCEluke:  omg he spoke again
cavaliera:  there you got your answer mee!
FEELtheFORCEluke:  y is it against the torah
guest51:  who me?
mee:  can anyone hear him
FEELtheFORCEluke:  yup
guest51:  me or mee
FEELtheFORCEluke:  lol
cavaliera:  he just talked to you mee!
guest51:  no to me
FEELtheFORCEluke:  and me
FEELtheFORCEluke:  or mee
guest51:  i heard him say it
FEELtheFORCEluke:  which me
FEELtheFORCEluke:  lol
cavaliera:  lol
cavaliera:  meeeeeee
Emma:  lol
guest51:  there is only one me
guest51:  and that’s me
FEELtheFORCEluke:  i am me too
guest51:  no you are you
FEELtheFORCEluke:  well I was until me showed up
cavaliera:  aren`t we all?
guest51:  i am me
cavaliera:  hahaha

YourMoralLeader:  confess, you sinners!
YourMoralLeader:  come to g-d right now!
Welshdragon:  so when do u plan to shave leader?
Welshdragon:  whats that on ya head leader?
Welshdragon:  89 meet emma she’s a little slow but a heart of gold!!!
guest88:  what did I miss?
guest88:  any juicy gossip?
Welshdragon:  where do i start the leader was just stood on his hands floating u missed it mate sorry!!
guest88:  I’m waiting for another pants change….
Welshdragon:  emmas waiting for that lol
guest88:  emma has to get over there and pick them up off the floor!
Welshdragon:  now we’re going
guest88:  oh yeah baby
Welshdragon:  the rooms moving finally!!!
Emma:  now look what you made him do
Welshdragon:  89 choked to much for him
YourMoralLeader:  ur fault
Emma:  lol
Emma:  hardly
Welshdragon:  you put em on backwards mate
guest88:  thanks.. that answers the boxer / bvd question
guest88:  speedo next?
Welshdragon:  i think u had a lazy on there leader could you confirm?
YourMoralLeader:  true
guest88:  thank emma
Welshdragon:  you had a lazy is that correct?
Welshdragon:  a lazy lob-on
guest88:  matzah doesn’t rise
Welshdragon:  u do this ever night?
Welshdragon:  every
guest88:  he doesn’t always change his pants

YourMoralLeader:  what would you like me to do to you on shabbat 88?
guest88:  make lots of kiddush
YourMoralLeader:  after kiddush
guest88:  herring
YourMoralLeader:  where did you hide the afikomen?
guest88:  too fishy…
guest88:  with the rabbit
guest90:  trying to find my piggy bank
guest88:  its in the temple mount
YourMoralLeader:  kadosh kadoshim
guest88:  saying kiddush gets you in
Welshdragon:  is he cracking one off?
guest88:  havdalah is good too
Welshdragon:  one off the wrist 90
guest88:  in the kiddush cup
Welshdragon:  can’t stop laughing
guest88:  his cup runneth over
Welshdragon:  lololol
Welshdragon:  ain’t laughed like this for ages
Welshdragon:  u hurting that bunny
Welshdragon:  the leader cracking one off the wrist right now show please keep the noise down
guest88:  Emma is the queen
Welshdragon:  cupping the bunny
guest88:  bunny went to sleep
guest88:  with emma
DoooDaaa:  our fealess leader is having a seizer
Welshdragon:  off the wrist again,what stamina
guest88:  energizer bunny
Welshdragon:  eveready!!!!
guest88:  show us your grape juice
Welshdragon:  here we are wanting to talk to the big man and he’s on the phone??
guest92:  was that moonshine?
Welshdragon:  wow i’ve been here the longest
Welshdragon:  i’m at the summit
guest88:  peaking?
guest92:  you should get a prize
Welshdragon:  i’m going to send the leader a razor u think he’ll use it?
Welshdragon:  before we start me an 88 want to check the bunny’s OK?
Welshdragon:  is he singing grand old duke of york??
Welshdragon:  and when they were up they were up!!!

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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