I’m Trying Out My Summer Bathing Suits Live On Cam!

Click here to watch and chat with the gedolim as we analyze which outfits suit me best:

ChaimAmalek:  Blessed be this chat room.  Or is that too goyish a blessing?
ChaimAmalek:  "May the All-Mighty keep our discourse Holy"
ChaimAmalek:  I like this new look.
ChaimAmalek:  All it needs is a giant rabbit to walk across the scene.
Emma:  And actually Im not the type of girl who likes to get looked at thank you very much
QuixoticLass:  who doesn’t like to be looked at?
QuixoticLass:  it’s human nature to say "look at me!"
QuixoticLass:  see, he’s saying it right now
watchingyoublog:  i should totally go see the cherry blossoms
watchingyoublog:  there are hordes of tourists who flocked here to see them and here i am
QuixoticLass:  yeah don’t miss that
watchingyoublog:  sitting here watching luke in la
watchingyoublog:  today is peak blossom
QuixoticLass:  then definitely don’t miss it
QuixoticLass:  really pretty and it smells good too
watchingyoublog:  i need to make an important decision
watchingyoublog:  and i am hesitating about it
Emma:  What decision?
QuixoticLass:  Luke’s ass will be here tomorrow, but hte cherry blossoms wont
Emma:  Yeah Luke likes to be looked at
Emma:  What age are you Luke?
BarakObamaBabyMama:  I know
BarakObamaBabyMama:  but will not tell
BarakObamaBabyMama:  There is much that I know but will not tell
Emma:  Lol bara
BarakObamaBabyMama:  My mother and I raised Luke since we found him in an alley.
Emma:  Hello Diddy
BarakObamaBabyMama:  I hear sounds in the backgroud….sounds that, in LA, are normally made by Mexicans at work
KhunDiddy:  Emma..you still here…my G-d..donyou not have a life outside Luke?
User guest905 changed their name to ragheadali.
KhunDiddy:  hi Emma..
Emma:  Yes actually I’m not here long
KhunDiddy:  Oh good
User DerangedConformist left the room.
KhunDiddy:  it’s always nice to drop by and say hello..I can’t stay long myself
Emma:  Too bad
KhunDiddy:  how are things in The Old Sod?
BarakObamaBabyMama:  I can stay for a long long time
ragheadali:  i cant stay long either on a flyin mission soon
BarakObamaBabyMama:  All without viagra
BarakObamaBabyMama:  Luke, be sure to have the cameras rolling when you kasher your abode for Passover
Emma:  Luke can you play some Libera……………
BarakObamaBabyMama:  I want to see how it is done, West Coast style
KhunDiddy:  kasher?
BarakObamaBabyMama:  to render kosher
BarakObamaBabyMama:  this will involve a massive hunt for crumbs
KhunDiddy:  I don’t have my Yiddisha dictionary out
BarakObamaBabyMama:  Luke, did you ever have a bar mitzvah?
KhunDiddy:  it’s that Hebrew equivalent of Christmas decorations
BarakObamaBabyMama:  I ask, because in just a few months you turn 42, which is barmitzvah x 3.
BarakObamaBabyMama:  Maybe you should mark your triple bar mitzvah,eh?
BarakObamaBabyMama:  13 years ago, were you a Jew?
KhunDiddy:  42….still a young man…but getting older…it goes fast…you better make a play for Emma and get on with it
BarakObamaBabyMama:  Where will the reception be?
BarakObamaBabyMama:  I want to help you write your bar mitzvah speech
KhunDiddy:  Emma……could you live in Luke’s Hovel…two "bugs in a rug" as it were
BarakObamaBabyMama:  "Today, I am a man"
Emma:  No diddy
KhunDiddy:  at 42 Luke shoud be picking a career soon
BarakObamaBabyMama:  He’s young still.  There is plenty of time
KhunDiddy:  what you want to be when you grow up Luke?
BarakObamaBabyMama:  50 is the new 30
QuixoticLass:  42 is the answer
BarakObamaBabyMama:  Luke, what vexes you?
KhunDiddy:  50 is the new 100
BarakObamaBabyMama:  Is it a question of interpreting a shtickel of gemarrah?
BarakObamaBabyMama:  You do have that look
Emma:  You people ask too many questions lol
User guest906 left the room.
KhunDiddy:  Emma…what you doing?
BarakObamaBabyMama:  Juden
BarakObamaBabyMama:  What else do you expect?
KhunDiddy:  where are you?
Emma:  Ireland
BarakObamaBabyMama:  When Irish eyes are smiling, the whole world smiles at you
BarakObamaBabyMama:  I like the Irish.
BarakObamaBabyMama:  When they are sober
KhunDiddy:  Emma have you heard of Chaim Amalek…he’s a lonely Jew from new York..if you don’t want Luke there are other choices
Emma:  Thank you
Emma:  Diddy lol please stop
BarakObamaBabyMama:  Emma, you should have my children
QuixoticLass:  hahaha
BarakObamaBabyMama:  you too
KhunDiddy:  When they are sober..hahahaha that’s not often
BarakObamaBabyMama:  What do you get when you cross an Irish woman with a Jew?
BarakObamaBabyMama:  I don’t know, but it isn’t Jewish.
KhunDiddy:  stop? why…I’m trying to fix you up with an American Jew..One real…one not so real..
BarakObamaBabyMama:  That’s called Torah humor

YourMoralFuhrer:  lukd do you feel the impulse to commit crime is genetic in any way
BarakObamaBabyMama:  Poles are good for fighting wars against Germans or Russians
BarakObamaBabyMama:  My blood cholesterol levels no longer permit Mexican food….or Indian food…or Texas steak….or Cheesey pizza
YourMoralCollapse:  Luke, Emma’s going to give good run for your money……..in the cam world…. 😉
BarakObamaBabyMama:  Turkey turkey and chicken and other plain bland things
YourMoralOutrage:  Luke, was that your lady-servant?
KhunDiddy:  lololo what is that an Irish lulibye
BarakObamaBabyMama:  You gotta keep the mrs out of the cam audio
YourMoralFuhrer:  is that your mexican slave?
YourMoralFuhrer:  that you bought in Tijuana?
BarakObamaBabyMama:  Emma, what do they make of Obama in Ireland?
HankYablonski:  The hovel is a clean free zone.
KhunDiddy:  How’s the Van running luke?
KhunDiddy:  back on the road
BarakObamaBabyMama:  How do you get around without a van?
BarakObamaBabyMama:  rental car?
KhunDiddy:  Dominicans in the Bronx and a shvartzer in the White House
YourMoralFuhrer:  i thought all this was being recorded in his van
YourMoralFuhrer:  $2200?
YourMoralFuhrer:  you spent tht much
YourMoralFuhrer:  get a fscking rice burner
KhunDiddy:  he hitch hikes
BarakObamaBabyMama:  You were not wise to invest that kind of money in that kind of vehicle
BarakObamaBabyMama:  What sort of mileage does that van get?
KhunDiddy:  very unwise  should have left it there and put the 2K down on anew one..you are not a SMART JEW
KhunDiddy:  Luke is a dumb Jew and there ain’t many
YourMoralFuhrer:  luke is goyischekop
KhunDiddy:  hahahaaaaaaaa
BarakObamaBabyMama:  The day is coming when it will cost you more in gas a day than you are earning from your web ventures.
KhunDiddy:  further proof that Luke is not a REAL Jew..he got the Van fixed
BarakObamaBabyMama:  Also, women these days want their men to be "green"
KhunDiddy:  the Van is Green..all that MOLD
Outlaw13:  DAMN ! WHAT HAPPENS !
User BarakObamaBabyMama changed their name to AMALEK.
KhunDiddy:  is Emma still here..Emma don’t leave us..
Emma:  emma has gone….
Emma:  please leave a message
AMALEK:  bye bye emma…..
KhunDiddy:  Emma  Emma ..I’m going to slash my writs   arrrrggghhh!
User KhunDiddy left the room.
AMALEK:  I would never name a girl Natalie Emma, because then her name would be N. Emma
AMALEK:  badda bing!
AMALEK:  Luke, someone told me you are applying to law school
AMALEK:  listen!
AMALEK:  I hear a stream of water!
YourMoralFuhrer:  it’s awesome that the camera follows him into the bathroom
YourMoralFuhrer:  i can hear him pissing
AMALEK:  Sounds like it could be in the country somewhere
AMALEK:  and now a waterfall
AMALEK:  Very rustic
AMALEK:  Next up, exercise!
AMALEK:  Then prayer!
AMALEK:  Thus does he aggrandize the name of G-d.

Emma:  LOL!!!!!!!!
martha:  get some weights lol
AlJolson:  Seems like he is mixing it up with an invisible pole…..this is a pole dance
martha:  looks like you controlling trafffic lol
Emma:  Thats the best excersise Ive ever seen lol!!
martha:  this way please lol
AlJolson:  This sort of imagery will not chasten the enemies of Zion
martha:  i think he’ll be good at the birdie song lol
martha:   or superman
guest919:  comming in for landing….
martha:  sit down
martha:  get a drink
martha:  wot??
martha:  wot?
martha:  wow all those books
AlJolson:  Show us a box of Matzos
AlJolson:  Drinking Yellow again
martha:  juice time lol
guest919:  keep goin mate
martha:  cider???
AlJolson:  wowww
AlJolson:  no
martha:  is it??
AlJolson:  Luke’s recycled home brew
martha:  oh no
martha:  this song
Emma:  Better song…..
martha:  blondie
Emma:  lol
martha:  heart of glass
martha:  noe oldie
AlJolson:  Next stop: 1977.
martha:  like this
AlJolson:  This sounds gay
martha:  it is lol
AlJolson:  This is the sort of music that gays used to bugger themselves with
martha:  you should know
guest919:  lmao
AlJolson:  Many a case of HIV was contracted with Blondie in the background
Emma:  lol wtf Luke
AlJolson:  oh zap
Emma:  lol
guest919:  I AM HE_MAN
Emma:  lol
martha:  yeah wotever lol
martha:  oh listen to those groans lol
User guest921 left the room.
AlJolson:  We are the enablers of this man’s life
martha:  put some new music on#
AlJolson:  But for us, he would either kill himself or make something of himself
User guest925 left the room.
martha:  six pack
AlJolson:  Play "Afternoon Delight"
guest924:  excuse me for asking, but what the f**k’s going on here like?
User guest923 left the room.
martha:  do you ever tidy up it looks like a bomb site behind you
guest919:  lol
guest919:  ask luke
Emma:  lol 92
Emma:  4
martha:  this is the moral leader performing lol
AlJolson:  This is a Jew, exercising
martha:  it’s fun
AlJolson:  Bottles of his own urine in each hand
guest924:  I daren’t
martha:  yeah
User guest922 left the room.
martha:  sit down now u scaring us lol
martha:  steady on
AlJolson:  Somehow, I don’t think Arnold Swartzennegar got his start this way
guest919:  omg he dyin
guest924:  nice moves
martha:  yes lol
martha:  i think you look hot
guest924:  tell me how the f**k this can benefit anyone ffs?
martha:  take your shirt off lol
guest919:  ahhhh workin out is that what ya call it
Emma:  Martha?
Emma:  lol
martha:  now wheres he gone ??
guest924:  he’s off his tits
guest919:  924 it has to me
martha:  hi Emma#
Emma:  hello lol
martha:  how u doin?
guest919:  im doin it rite now as i type
Emma:  Grand ta
Emma:  You?
martha:  it’s good harmless fun winding him up of course lol
guest924:  it’s made me wanna go for a s**t
AlJolson:  Do any of the women here find themselves oddly attracted to the package before them?  Be honest now
martha:  yes cool
guest919:  lol
martha:  no
guest924:  and that’s just the music ffs
martha:  def not
martha:  lol
guest926:  lol 924
martha:  lol
AlJolson:  I say you are, for why else would you be here?
martha:  wots he bloody doin now?
AlJolson:  You want to mother him
martha:  nope lol
AlJolson:  I don’t like this voice
AlJolson:  Who is this?
martha:  could destroy his music collection though
guest919:  olivia
AlJolson:  This is seventies music.
martha:  yes
guest924:  you got any harpo marx mate?

guest931:  LUKE love see you soon  xxxxxxx
guest931:  night night
guest919:  luke ur scaring me
AlJolson:  NEWS FLASH:  Michael Jackson is the Bee’s Knees
guest919:  lol
guest931:  send me a kiss please!!!
Emma:  lmao!
guest919:  oh he waves like the queen
guest926:  lol
Emma:  lol
guest931:  THANK YOUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
guest919:  luke wave
guest931:  NO HE DOESNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
martha:  wot have i missed
guest919:  ahhh luke waved….and no much else
guest919:  ahhh i think he farted….had a strange look on his face
guest924:  you’re zooming in and out like an autistic savant rocks back and forth luke
guest924:  should I make associations here?
guest919:  lol
guest931:  LUKE!!!!!! TAKE NO NOTICE OF THE FU>> ING  IDIOTS!!
guest931:  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Emma:  lol he is loving this
Emma:  lol
guest919:  931…….are u his mum
guest931:  JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
guest924:  too right 931, he should take more notice of you…….say, you made a paypal donation to him yet?
guest919:  lmao
guest926:  lol
guest919:  mummy…….
guest931:  NO
guest924:  you sure 931?
guest919:  luke ur mas here
guest919:  hi Mrs Ford
guest931:  YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
guest924:  no s**t 919
guest931:  YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
guest924:  you wanna nuture him 931?
guest924:  nurture*
guest924:  sorry, was going for ‘torture’ and I typoed
guest919:  awwww….put him on the tit
guest919:  lol
guest926:  lol
User Emma left the room.
guest924:  so luke, how many asbestos chips do you eat a day?
guest919:  lmfao
AlJolson:  It’s his wife
guest919:  yeah…like …like …yeah
guest924:  tell us how you made the transgression from hollywood pornographic interveiwer to Judaism luke
AlJolson:  He is so dismissive of her
guest931:  WHY DONT YOU TALK WITH EACH OTHER AND NOT TAKE  P*SS OUT
Emma:  lol
AlJolson:  Just because she is Mexican
Emma:  LOL luke
guest931:  OF LUKE????
guest919:  awww see 931 he is taken
guest924:  natural career progression huh?
AlJolson:  I’m NOT taken
AlJolson:  I’m fully available and I’m allman
AlJolson:  I don’t normally listen to this sort of music
guest924:  is that like Islam al?
guest919:  luke who were u chattin to
Emma:  Its raining men lmao
guest924:  whoever it is, they got his back to him 919
guest919:  cool AL send me a pic
guest924:  and he to us in turn
guest924:  s**t rolls down hill you know
AlJolson:  See, I’m a real man
guest919:  OMG hes GAY
guest924:  he does look kinda happy, I grant you that
guest931:  NIGHT NIGHT LUKE  XXXXXXXXX
AlJolson:  Luke is on some special pills these days.
guest919:  931 u said that 20 mins ago
guest919:  just go
guest924:  you think al?
AlJolson:  I know so
guest924:  no s**t
guest924:  me too
Emma:  Air guitar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AlJolson:  And they are not the kind you can buy in a store
guest931:  GIVE ME A KISS GOOD NIGHT PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AlJolson:  XXXXX
guest919:  omg help me im dancin to this song ….i cant help it
guest931:  OR SOMETHING ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AlJolson:  Whenever Luke and I go on the down – low, this is the song we dance to
guest919:  leave him alone 931
guest924:  this is a gay anthem for sure
guest931:  PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AlJolson:  Can this music get any gayer?  I say no
guest931:  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
guest919:  i bet 931 is amanda
guest931:  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Emma:  lol 931
guest931:  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
guest931:  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
AlJolson:  931 is a GUY
AlJolson:  If we had been listening to more cowboy music back then, the Mexicans never would have dared invade
guest919:  amanda is a stalker on camstreams
guest926:  lol
guest931:  SOMETHING ELSE PLEASE AS I ASKED !!!!!!!!!!!!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Emma:  lol 931 are you feeling ok hunny?
guest931:  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
guest919:  luke just do what 931 wants the they will piss off
AlJolson:  I want to hear the Song of the Volga Boatmen
guest919:  pleaseeeeeee
guest926:  brb
AlJolson:  This music is why Western Man needs Viagra to do what comes naturally to the Black Man
guest924:  so tell me something luke, how come your pic om the main page is of you twenty years ago?
guest931:  GO ON PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
DoooDaaa:  whats the matter with ur cam…keeps zooming in and out
AlJolson:  I can explain that
Emma:  lol doodaa
guest919:  lol
AlJolson:  The cam is attached to his private parts and responds in synch with them
guest919:  hehe
DoooDaaa:  ahhh

theactualgiajordan:  luke, did u get candy for purim?
LukesBiggestFan:  omg im dancin again….help me
guest924:  I feel like the shoe shine guy off Police Squad
AntipodeanLuvver:  Howard Jones does this to me every time
Fischel:  EVERYONE: Watch this while you can:  http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=7d9_1206624103
Fischel:  Luke, check out that documentary. It is pretty amazing stuff.
Fischel:  It’s by a Dutch group warning against the Islamization of Europe.
Fischel:  It has it all – quotes from the Koran, beheadings, etc.
YourMoralLeader:  cool
Fischel:  This goes to your predicament in life.  While you blog, they breed; and while you preach, well nothing serious, they work towards your doom.
YourMorelLeader:  Rockin’ w/Luke
YourMorelLeader:  nice sandals
DiscoDuck:  Ground control to Major Tom
YourMorelLeader:  trainwreck
YourImperfectImperfection:  Luke put on some more cheery music!
YourMorelLeader:  3-d house of luke
YourMorelLeader:  oh ja
DiscoDuck:  hearing yml say that with his accent a litlte drunk is funny
guest666:  Junior High music
DiscoDuck:  Ground control to Major Tom
guest666:  This is so depressing
YourMorelLeader:  does he have a close-n-play phonograph or something?
DiscoDuck:  he has a walkman
YourMorelLeader:  good lord
guest666:  Martian music
DiscoDuck:  wtf is wrong with him today
DiscoDuck:  ?!
guest666:  This music inspires the Saracen to cut our throats
YourMorelLeader:  chemical imbalance
YourMorelLeader:  let’s send Luke to Baghdad
DiscoDuck:  he looks very testy
YourMorelLeader:  we need his leadership
DiscoDuck:  we should go out for a drink after mincha
YourMorelLeader:  then frum sex
DiscoDuck:  he’s not married that I know of
YourMorelLeader:  not since TMFR
DiscoDuck:  bravo
DiscoDuck:  take a bow
YourMorelLeader:  hokey schomels
YourMorelLeader:  major luke
DiscoDuck:  ROFLMAO
DiscoDuck:  taylor raine that shiksa?
YourMorelLeader:  did you comsumate the marraige?
YourMorelLeader:  sorry about the spelling
guest666:  http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=7d9_1206624103
QuietStorm:  Hello Luke
DiscoDuck:  I know I have been swamped at work
YourMorelLeader:  good thing that you still have your penis
guest666:  Shiksas are for practice
QuietStorm:  How are you today Luke?
DiscoDuck:  blie neder I’ll send the review soon
YourMorelLeader:  this is your next wife Luke
YourMorelLeader:  http://www.cam4.com/sweeteva
YourMorelLeader:  what kind of cam is that?
YourMorelLeader:  it’s like porn cam qualit
guest666:  contextless laughter
YourMorelLeader:  hot cha
YourMorelLeader:  laughing like Rasputin
Luke Ford the mad monk
DiscoDuck:  It’s going to be of an Orthodox Shul in the SFV
YourMorelLeader:  or whatever they call a Jewish monk
QuietStorm:  Luke, why is your cam still moving in and out?
guest666:  Because it goes in and out and in and out
YourMorelLeader:  he’s zooming
DiscoDuck:  why were you at sharey Tzedek? visiting for a simcha?
DiscoDuck:  have you been back?
YourMorelLeader:  sweet eva 2008
YourMorelLeader:  http://www.cam4.com/sweeteva
DiscoDuck:  wash your hands
YourMorelLeader:  is this where he slaughters a gentile baby?
YourMorelLeader:  amen
User QuietStorm left the room.
DiscoDuck:  amen
Emma:  lol
YourMorelLeader:  you are scaring me
YourMorelLeader:  let’s eat
DiscoDuck:  that is an evil drug induced laugh
User guest947 left the room.
DiscoDuck:  motzie!
DiscoDuck:  rewash without a bracha
YourMorelLeader:  I wish that I was recording this
DiscoDuck:  NOW!
YourMorelLeader:  ramen
guest666:  Inshallah!
DiscoDuck:  almond
DiscoDuck:  rewash since you talked
User guest666 left the room.
YourMorelLeader:  time to leave the hovel
DiscoDuck:  morel leader is a posek (chas v’shalom) and that is how he rules
DiscoDuck:  yml there is a dispute regarding the rewashing
DiscoDuck:  the MB mentions that if the individual was careful with his hands ie:didn’t contaminate them he doesn’t need to rewash

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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