I’m Live On My Cam And Teaching Torah!

Click here to check out my cam. I’ve got the Rambam, Jesus Christ, YHWH and El Shaddai in my chat room taking questions. Our topic today is menstruation and shaking hands with women which I try to avoid as it can lead to dancing.

Bornyo writes on XPT: "He’s really yucking it up- drinking his own urine in some weird orthodox jewish ritual."

Dean Wormer writes: " How exciting. He appears to be sleeping on his futon right now. Is this what fake Jews do for fun?"

Handful writes: I logged in as Handful this afternoon. He waved and said hi enthusiastically. I asked if he’s coming back to XPT. His smile disappeared and he answered with a simple ‘no’.

Then I logged out cause I realized I was sitting in my living room, watching Luke Ford sitting in his living room.

That was more fun with greater numbers. I loved watching the look on his face as more and more xpters logged in.

Fatman writes: Luke [spoken]: Ohhh … I see … sex with Holly Randall was a violation. I no longer do that RamBam. I no longer bang shiksa. …. It was fun though. 

Holly Randall posts: Bullshit. If a shiksa was willing to spread her legs for him, he’d dive right in.

Nugent writes: I don’t know what’s more pathetic, his godamn webcam, or the fact I’m watching it. My wife will eventually come save me. Holy shit. You know when you can’t look away from something that truly sucks? It’s kinda like that.

User guest546 changed their name to GUAPO.
GUAPO:  what it do nigga?
GUAPO:  saw yall pimpin via xpt
User guest544 left the room.
YourMoralLeader:  yo
GUAPO:  you knowyour boy guapo right luke?
YourMoralLeader:  yo
GUAPO:  chillen chillen luke
DickDundee:  Yo Luke, what’s with the hair and beard?
GUAPO:  luke this nigga always had you back
GUAPO:  you my lite skinned white keepin it real nigga
GUAPO:  luke how bout you throw on some of that wu tang
GUAPO:  yeah yeah luke
GUAPO:  you my jew
GUAPO:  so luke how much chedda this endevor bringin in
DickDundee:  So when are you gonna launch thereallukeisbackagain.com?
Emma:  lol
GUAPO:  dag nigga you sound broke likeme
User guest548 left the room.
GUAPO:  i got an idea luke… it will bring you and me millions… you in?
DonnyLong:  donny long from donny long productions and xxxfilmjobs here
GUAPO:  ok ok here me now
GUAPO:  you look real country
GUAPO:  i hook you up with the sweetest sensimilla known to man
GUAPO:  you find a place to plant this s**t
GUAPO:  grow it
Emma:  lololol
DonnyLong:  are you in pot luke?
GUAPO:  and hten we sell this on the streets for lots of cash
GUAPO:  millions luke… millions son
DickDundee:  cannabis strains: indica sativa sensimella
DonnyLong:  you look like a hippie
Emma:  Bless you…
GUAPO:  luke sensi the finest weed seed known to man
DonnyLong:  you look like Chuck Norris now
GUAPO:  you ever kill a man luke?
User HankYablonski left the room.
GUAPO:  i killed a few back in the days… you know in the street wars
DonnyLong:  http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/01/06/chuck_norris_wideweb__470x371,0.jpg
GUAPO:  luke how about throwin a lil rap for the dark skinned people in the room
Emma:  o.0
GUAPO:  luke do you dispise xpt?
User DonnyLong changed their name to KurtLoockwood.
KurtLoockwood:  heaters!!!!!!!
User guest549 left the room.
Emma:  LOL
GUAPO:  i dispise xpt with all my heart
GUAPO:  they real racist
Emma:  Can you imagine Luke trying to rap….
DickDundee:  You’re kidding no-one, you just burned out temporarily. You’ll be back.
Emma:  Priceless
KurtLoockwood:  xpt miss you lukie
KurtLoockwood:  we miss you
GUAPO:  luke you know od david joseph
KurtLoockwood:  david joshep have 3 heads
KurtLoockwood:  whats happened there luke?
KurtLoockwood:  a gun shot?
User guest551 left the room.
User KurtLoockwood changed their name to JesuCristo.
GUAPO:  can you give david jospeh something for ouyr nigga?
DickDundee:  One fake ID at a time please
Emma:  Let this be are prayer….la la la la
DickDundee:  Who is Emma? It’s like we have a normal person in here.
GUAPO:  give david jospeh a slap across the face for runnin the district into the ground
JesuCristo:  what is this noise in your house?  gunshots?.
GUAPO:  i cant even jack off no more to rld
Emma:  Who is lol
User JesuCristo changed their name to JesusTheLord.
User guest547 left the room.
Emma:  Your not normal Dick?
GUAPO:  they use real busted girls
JesusTheLord:  i bless you
DickDundee:  No I’m an alt-ID troll from XPT, like everyone else here except you.
Emma:  Hello Jesus..nice of you to drop by.
Emma:  Expet me
Emma:  I see..
DickDundee:  Ask Luke the significance of my name
GUAPO:  yo luke it was a real pleasure to kick it for a moment
GUAPO:  i am late for a drive by so i gotta jet
JesusTheLord:  luke you are good material for a documentary
GUAPO:  keep rockin luke
MikeAlbo:  i dont want problems with that tony soprano friend of yours
MikeAlbo:  did you still visiting his agency
guest550:  how do you cope luke?
clutchkit:  am back, went for a pee,  we also do that in africa
MikeAlbo:  camstreams are free?
MikeAlbo:  yes?
guest550:  no I meant how do you cope with all the work yet still being able to have your room open enlightening us all with pearls of wisdom
MikeAlbo:  cool
clutchkit:  gandhi did it?
MikeAlbo:  but the industry needs you
guest550:  I bet you do
guest550:  you must be exhausted
Emma:  lol luke
clutchkit:  aww
Emma:  Goodnight
clutchkit:  why
clutchkit:  wow a sign of machine gun fire… not appropiate!
guest550:  so basically he’s a bum
clutchkit:  hey mike, emma,dickdundee.. all asleep?
MikeAlbo:  waht is he doing?
MikeAlbo:  poop?
Emma:  Yes
clutchkit:  hmmm,
clutchkit:  he’s got toilet paper sticking from his bum?
Emma:  lol
guest550:  is this c**t for real?
clutchkit:  oops, he’s a squatter
guest550:  am I really seeing this?
guest557:  nap time.
guest550:  no s**t
guest550:  must be hard being him huh?
clutchkit:  hmmm, emma would you let this happen in your home?
Emma:  Are you shocked 550?
Emma:  Let what happen?
clutchkit:  block the entrance to the loo?
guest550:  not really emma, I’m just shocked that people buy into him, that’s all
Emma:  I don’t find anything wrong with anything Luke does…
Emma:  It’s just the way he is.
clutchkit:  but the loo?
guest550:  that’s because he doesn’t do anything
Emma:  Yeah
guest557:  he takes naps.
clutchkit:  ok, WELL all is explained
Emma:  Indeed..
clutchkit:  but the loo!!!!
Emma:  lol
guest550:  he’s a parasite
Emma:  It’s only him living there…
Emma:  It’s his ways of life.
clutchkit:  gotta go, be right back,
guest550:  no surprise, would you live with that emma?
Emma:  Live with what 550?
guest550:  luke
Emma:  Why do you ask me would I live with Luke…
guest557:  he doesn;t seem to take up much space
guest550:  lmao 557
Emma:  lol
User guest557 left the room.
guest550:  how long do you think it’d take you before you’d tell him to get off his ass and go out and get a job
Emma:  Like I said…it’s who he is.
guest550:  you didn’t answer my question emma
clutchkit:  he’s reciting harry potter
guest550:  how long?
guest550:  be honest
clutchkit:  24556678n years
Emma:  Well your not being real 550..it wouldn’t happen, so I won’t answer.
guest550:  why wouldn’t it happen emma?
clutchkit:  ok was wrong 6677887655 years
Emma:  No comment.
clutchkit:  that is et,, wrong number
guest550:  you don’t really have a mind of your own, do you emma?
Emma:  lol Very much so 550…
clutchkit:  she has ,,, so respect that
Emma:  I just choose not to answer.
guest550:  why?
guest550:  are my questions too difficult for you to answer?
Emma:  No
guest550:  so why don’t you answer them?
Emma:  I understand perfectly
Emma:  Your asking me would I live with Luke
Emma:  Brb
guest550:  did I ask you that?
clutchkit:  hey 550, all have a mind, yours is one perspective and we respect that
guest550:  I was only asking a question
clutchkit:  so respect emmas
guest550:  I don’t understand why she wouldn’t answer is all
clutchkit:  no you were asking her , why does she not think like you
guest550:  no, if you read back, I asked her how long it would be if she lived with luke until she’d tell him to get off his ass and go get a job
guest550:  remember that far back clutch?
guest550:  it’s not rocket science you know
clutchkit:  and then you would tell her that she would be wrong?
KhunDiddy:  doesn’t anyone here have a job?
KhunDiddy:  Emma baby…what up?
clutchkit:  what is a job definition
guest550:  not at all I just wanted to know how long she’d put up with it
YourMoralLeader:  hey khun
KhunDiddy:  doing anything rather than staring at Luke
guest550:  something that pays the bills clutch
KhunDiddy:  Hi buddy
guest550:  do you have a job clutch?
clutchkit:  hey bush does that .. stare

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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