Category Archives: Satire

Baby Alexander Technique

Posted on March 19, 2012 by Luke Ford

Let’s hope that little Hazel’s setback with Baby Alexander Technique doesn’t impact her chances for the 2014 Olympics. A gold medal in Curling will look great on a pre-school resume. Season 2, Episode 3: “Primary Care Giver” from The Slope … Continue reading →

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My Business Plan

Posted on March 14, 2012 by Luke Ford

I learned in a recent bootcamp for entrepreneurs that if you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail. Working in conjunction with a personal coach, I came up with and have started to implement the following business plan to get … Continue reading →

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Alexander Exercise For Amazing Orgasms!

Posted on February 27, 2012 by Luke Ford

Just kidding! There’s no such exercise as far as I know. How am I, a humble Alexander teacher, going to compete with videos like this? The path of the righteous is a lonely one. Maybe I could prescribe active rest … Continue reading →

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Alexander Teachers Spend Raucous Afternoon Validating Each Other

Posted on February 23, 2012 by Luke Ford

LOS ANGELES, CA—According to witnesses, a tight-knit group of twenty five Alexander Technique teachers spent a wild afternoon in Reseda Sunday, overindulging in emotionally supportive behavior and generally validating the living heck out of each other. Confirming the women get … Continue reading →

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I’m Avoiding The Social Ghetto With A New App

Posted on January 7, 2012 by Luke Ford

REDMOND, Wash. (CBS Seattle) – Microsoft has been granted a patent for its “avoid the social ghetto” feature for bloggers. Microsoft’s patent states that a route can be plotted for bloggers to avoid an “unsafe post or being in an … Continue reading →

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