Orthodox Man Hesitates Five Seconds Before Patronizing Kosher Restaurant Without Ethics Certification

LOS ANGELES: Modern Orthodox Jew Brad Gold found himself debating in his mind Monday whether or not to eat at his favorite kosher deli. On the one hand, the food looked good, on the other hand, he could find in its window no “Peulat Sachir” ethics certification from the local Modern Orthodox rabbinate.

“Does not God belong in the workplace?” asked Brad as he stood outside Pico Kosher Deli. “How do I know that the workers here get all their legally mandated breaks and are never discriminated against for their sexual orientation? Oy, I want a corn beef sandwich but how could I stomach such a thing if the owners of this joint have not attended their rabbinically mandated lectures on ethics in business?”

Brad solved his quandary in the amount of time it usually takes him to respond to “Barchu” and consumed a hearty lunch. Afterwards, he wondered why there were no pushkes attached to the benchers so he could reduce the problem of hunger currently obsessing his Jewish Federation as a way to recruit more young Jews.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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