Category Archives: Personal

How Much Mental Illness Can I Handle In A Woman?

A friend: The key for us is this: how much mental illness can you take in a woman? Because it isn’t rational for the women we want to want us in return. So that leaves us with the mentally suspect. … Continue reading

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I Almost Skipped My Sister’s Wedding For The Super Bowl

In January 1982, I almost decided to skip a trip home to Australia for two weeks to avoid missing the Super Bowl, even though my favorite team, the Dallas Cowboys, was not playing, and I had no emotional attachment to … Continue reading

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I Rarely Looked Happy

Yesterday a friend told me that he noticed in my old interviews, videos and photos, prior to the Alexander Technique, I rarely smiled or looked happy. Alexander hasn’t cured my underlying depression, but it has thinned it.

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The Goy

6:15 a.m. I’m studying Torah with the rabbi. There’s a loud knocking at the front door. I get up grumpily and walk to the door and open it. There’s a goy outside. A female goy. A shiksa. She looks latina … Continue reading

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I Can’t Drink Coffee

If I drink more than a cup of regular coffee, I get jittery, anxious and don’t sleep well. I toss and turn and curse my fate. I might even get up and blog in the early morning hours. I must … Continue reading

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Six Days Shomer Brit!

I realize I used to store up eroticized rage scenarios through the day to treasure during alone time. Now no treasuring. I wonder how this will change me? I went about 15 months in 1990-1991 as I got into Judaism. … Continue reading

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He Left It All On The Field

“If you keep writing as you’re writing, will you accomplish the things you want to accomplish in the rest of your life?” his therapist asked him. He thought about that for a long time and finally, reluctantly, quietly, answered, “no.” … Continue reading

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‘You’ve Put Me In A Very Awkward Position’

There are certain phrases I keep hearing throughout my life, such as “You’re not welcome here.” And then I appeal for help and I hear, “You’ve put me in a very awkward position.” The themes of my life — provocation, … Continue reading

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A Mighty Blogger Before The Lord

Levi was a mighty blogger before the Lord. He thought he was the bomb because he’d been on 60 Minutes. One evening in shul, he noticed that his prayer got no respect from the Almighty, while the davening of the … Continue reading

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Sheer Terror In Daily Life II

Greg Leake emails: Hi Luke, I think everybody experiences this phenomenon to some degree. Some people are very brave and just have occasional moments of weakness. When it gets to the stage that you write about, it’s a little over … Continue reading

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