Category Archives: Personal

Happy Hump Day!

Posted on March 19, 2015 by Luke Ford

* I was going about my way humbly and quietly, following G-d’s commandments, and the shiksa next door says to me, “Happy Hump Day!” L-rd, send Moshiach now! * Just heard a Jewish parent berate his teenage kid for putting … Continue reading →

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Occupied Bathrooms Are Bad For The Jews!

Posted on March 17, 2015 by Luke Ford

Oy vey! I’m in pain! I take all these magnesium tablets at night to help me sleep, but the next morning, there’s hell to pay. Chaim Amalek: “You should burst into that occupied bathroom like a Zionist settler immigrating to … Continue reading →

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Does Your Shul Have A Gerim Section?

Posted on March 14, 2015 by Luke Ford

Seen and heard: * One Hasid to another to another: “Bro, you got any [basketball] scores for me [from last night]?” * Saw a bloke during the Amidah tie together the talisim of the blokes in front of him. * … Continue reading →

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For College

Posted on March 11, 2015 by Luke Ford

* In my senior year of high school, I called a few phone sex lines from my home. My mother later asked me about the charges and if they were for college. I said they were for college and that … Continue reading →

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Who is Today’s Gadol Hador?

Posted on March 10, 2015 by Luke Ford

The Guardian of Israel never slumbers nor sleeps. Chaim Amalek: The Eye is ever watchful. There is concern here that never sleeps. When Moshiach comes, “American Idol” will be changed to “Who is Today’s Gadol Hador?” * A BT Jewess … Continue reading →

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