Luke Ford | No sacred cows.

I Love My Kaiser Permanente Health Plan

Posted on March 15, 2007 by Luke Ford

I’ve been with the folks at Kaiser for almost five years and I’ve only had good experiences. As a sensitive artist-type, I check in with them for every malady I suffer, real or imagined. Now that I’m 40, my premium is $300 a month. But it’s worth it. I went in on Tuesday and saw my nice Chinese doctor. I got my first prostate exam. Everything’s fine. After complaining about stabbing chest pains over the past few weeks, I got a chest x-ray and an EKG. It turns out my ticker is healthy. I got all the blood tests a boy could want and the whole experience only set me back a $35 co-pay. Allahu Akhbar. My cholesterol (215, it should be under 200, my LDL is 144 when it should be under 130, my HDL is 35 when it should be over 40) and Triglycerides (180 when they should be under 150) are high. On the liver function test ALT, I scored a 39, while I should be under 35. So I have to exercise more and eat less animal fat. I’m pleased with the services my government provides me. I walked into my library branch yesterday and at the front desk they had a sign, "Ask us about our books in Arabic." So I told the clerk, "I’ve signed up for jihad and I’d like to know where to get more information. Do you have a book in Arabic you can recommend? You won’t give my library info to George Bush, will you?" He just smiled.

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My Hair’s Turning Green

Posted on March 15, 2007 by Luke Ford

I pour on the Grecian Formula every day (I’ve been using it for 12 years) and what do I get? As you walk around my head, you see splotches of black, brown, grey and green. I fear that I’m doing something wrong but maybe people will just think I’m punk rock.

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Party Of Defeat

Posted on March 15, 2007 by Luke Ford

About the only time I like to blog my opinions on politics is to say that I’m wrong (such as about the war in Iraq). Otherwise, I don’t think I have anything important to add and prefer to write about my peepee. When I go to Republican gatherings these days, I’m disappointed by the lack of humility they demonstrate over the mess in Iraq. Few conservatives seem to be rethinking their support for the war and for the Bush administration. Slate’s Jacob Weisberg is spot on:

…Here was a Jewish scholar criticizing the pope for apologizing to Muslims for a holy war against Muslims, which was also a massacre of the Jews. Here were the theorists of the invasion of Iraq, many of them also Jewish, applauding the notion that the Crusades were not so terrible and embracing a time horizon that makes it impossible to judge them wrong. And here was the clubhouse of the neocons throwing itself a lavish ‘do, when the biggest question in American politics is how to escape the hole they’ve dug. Reality seemed to have taken up residence elsewhere for the evening.But whether or not the neocons are ready to face it, their moment has passed. At the Defense Department, their apostles and allies are largely gone. Donald Rumsfeld has been replaced by Robert M. Gates, a member of the Iraq Study Group and of the realist school associated with the previous President Bush. Paul Wolfowitz, the architect who tried to raise a new Middle East on Saddam’s rubble, has moved to the World Bank, where he observes a McNamara-like silence on the failure of his war. …But the largest factor in Cheney’s demise is that his neoconservative hypotheses have been falsified by events. Invading Iraq did not catalyze a new Middle East. Isolating North Korea did not retard but advance its nuclear program. High-handed unilateralism reduced American power and prestige.

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Dennis Prager Does Not Find ‘Borat’ Funny

Posted on March 14, 2007 by Luke Ford

He says that humiliating people is not his kind of humor. Prager found Borat cynical. He watched the movie with his 14 year old son who also did not find it funny. Prager’s callers agreed that Borat was bad. Which movies does Prager find funny? Rat Race. I gave up on that movie after 15 minutes. I agree with Prager about the hilarity of Monty Python and Groundhog Day. I remember watching The Meaning of Life (Monty Python) in a theater with a handful of people and I rarely laughed. Then I watched it with my brother and a room full of friends and I loved it, laughing constantly. Prager found Boogie Nights pointless. I thought it a terrific movie.

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Jerry Friedman Remains At Shalhevet

Posted on March 14, 2007 by Luke Ford

His dispute with the board continues. I guess Jerry was just bluffing when he walked away from the school last week. I’m not sure how long he will last at Shalhevet if he does not get his way. Friedman has a reputation for being difficult to work with. Ironic considering that students make their own rules at Shalhevet and the place is supposedly super-democratic.

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Blessed Be The True Judge

Posted on March 13, 2007 by Luke Ford

A friend writes:

My father died on 14th of shvat, after a year of declining health (renal failure–he’d been on dialysis for a little over a year). Never a great time, but it was definitely his time.Sorry about the freakout. My father’s death has unleashed all kinds of fears and neuroses about parenting and earning a living. He was a marginally employed teacher and writer, and we grew up fairly poor, so the thought that anything could threaten my job led to tremendous amount of stress (exacerbated by the fact that I had a meeting with the boss today–it wasn’t about anything involving me, but I have this fear (see above about my father) of meetings with superiors, and I always assume a worst case scenario. Anyway, I’m still emotionally fragile (chances are if you were here right now, you’d get some play from me if you offered to comfort me). …Let me, guess, she’s one of these gentile women who’s captivated by ethnically Jewish men, and you haven’t broken it to her yet that you weren’t born of the Tribe. Do you throw in a lot of Yiddishisms and talk about your Uncle Bernie in the schmatte trade? …Again, I’m really sorry to be such a pain, but I’m super-stressed, and helping me out should definitely entitle you to some sort of free sins (but keep out of the big ones, just to be on the safe side). Honestly, Luke I can only play my father dying card for so long. If this matter doesn’t get resolved soon, how will I convince you? …You are probably one of the few people who can appreciate how much joy I derived when I read about Kevin Strom.

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I Dated Carrie Bradshaw From ‘Sex and the City’

Posted on March 12, 2007 by Luke Ford

I never watched the HBO show when it was on the air. Then, in its final season, I dated this woman who was addicted to the show. So we watched it every Sunday night. Since then, I’ve rented most of the episodes of Sex and the City. Now I realize that my ex-girlfriend modeled herself on the Sarah Jessica Parker character.

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I Love Lasse Hallstrom’s New Movie ‘The Hoax’

Posted on March 12, 2007 by Luke Ford

It’s smart, funny, and captivating, telling the story of Clifford Irving‘s "authorized autobiography" of Howard Hughes. I saw it at a Miramax screening in Beverly Hills Monday night. The Hoax hits theaters April 6.

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Help Me Help You

Posted on March 12, 2007 by Luke Ford

I just bought this Sony digital video recorder and I want to use it in a way that bests serves you, my faithful reader.¬† Email me at [email protected].

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JJ: Federation may face lawsuit over fundraiser Prizant’s firing

Posted on March 11, 2007 by Luke Ford

I’m told that Jewish Federation employees fear for their jobs if they are caught discussing the following case. Craig Prizant was given 12 hours by Fishel to pack his stuff and to leave the building. Tom Tugend reports in the Jewish Journal:

A looming lawsuit is threatening to shake up The Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles — causing a blanket of silence to descend on the city’s largest Jewish philanthropic organization. The former top fundraiser for The Federation is reportedly planning to file suit against the agency over his dismissal, possibly as early as this week, alleging that a friendship between The Federation’s president and a subordinate was the reason for his firing. …According to the pro-Prizant explanation, the root cause of his firing was professional friction between him, as the chief campaign professional, and Sue Bender, who had been hired by Fishel to direct The Federation’s prime philanthropy office, a program geared to "elite leaders in our community who possess the capacity to make a significant, multiyear commitment to fund an existing program or create a new one that addresses their passion," according to The Federation Web site. Bender’s job was to cultivate the largest donors, those able to make gifts in six figures and above and to fund new programs. Both Prizant and Bender reported directly to Fishel, but as the friction continued, Bender was allegedly able to count on her friendship with Fishel to favor her viewpoint, culminating in Prizant’s dismissal.

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