Luke Ford | No sacred cows.

Wandering In A Sexual Desert

Posted on August 10, 2007 by Luke Ford

I hate it when women use my religion against me when I try to fulfill my biological (if immoral) imperatives.

Just this week a completely secular Jewess repeatedly lambasted me as a pervert (because I asked her to toss her hair, it was long and curly) and a defiler of my faith.

And to think I was willing to sit in a trafe restaurant to receive this abuse.

A shiksa girlfriend when I asked her for blowjobs would respond, "When the Torah says no, it means no. Besides, you had more than enough before you met me."

I don’t think four is too much.

I plan to take these lemons and make lemonade by nurturing my spiritual gift for chastity.

Chaim Amalek says: "Seriously, you are too old and insufficiently wealthy for this shtick. I suspect that it creeps most women out. Remember – you are now closer to 60 than to 20. You are in the mid-September of your life. Try to have a good sabbath."

Posted in Personal | Comments Off

Lucky Little Ladies In The City Of Light, And Other Lost Angels In The City Of Night

Posted on August 10, 2007 by Luke Ford

Justin Levine blogs:

I know that print newspapers are old skool these days, but for my money, the best newspaper that ever lived was the L.A. Herald-Examiner. It managed to provide the greatest and most artistic examples of photojournalism in the history of the medium.
Diane Keaton released a great compilation of Examiner photos in a book some years back. Anyone interested in the real history of both Los Angeles and journalism should be sure to pick it up for their library.
Now, the USC Digital Archive has managed to collate many more great examples of the Examiner’s work (much of it from the early 1950’s). This stuff is so awesome that it rightfully belongs in a museum’s permanent collection (in addition to being digitally accessible on-line of course). You look into these people’s faces and it all tells a story to bring you back to that point in time and space.

Posted in Journalism | Comments Off

Two Jews In Kabul Hated Each Other

Posted on August 10, 2007 by Luke Ford

From the Washington Times:

KABUL, Afghanistan — The first question Zebulon Simentov asked his uninvited guest, eyes wide open at the prospect: "Are you Jewish?"
There was a tinge of disappointment when the reply came back negative, but the last Jew standing in Afghanistan didn’t miss a beat.
"Humanity is one; religion doesn’t matter," he said.
Moments later, a Muslim friend entered the room, unfurled a prayer rug in the corner and bowed toward Mecca. An open box of Manischewitz matzos sat next to an empty bottle of whiskey on a table nearby.
Locals refer to Mr. Simentov, 47, simply as "the Jew." Originally from the western city of Herat, he dons a yarmulke with his shalwar kameez and swears that "half of Kabul" knows him, though probably not for the reasons he would like to think.
His only other co-religionist in the country, Yitzhak Levin, died in January 2005. The pair lived together in the Flower Street synagogue through the Soviet invasion, the civil war and the Taliban regime.
And they grew to hate each other.
Among other antics, they held separate services, had vicious shouting matches that neighbors say could be heard down the street and denounced each other to the Taliban as spies for Israel’s Mossad intelligence agency.

Posted in Jews | Comments Off

Will Harvey Levin really host TMZ TV?

Posted on August 10, 2007 by Luke Ford

TabloidBaby reports:

Insiders tell us the boys at TMZ have been taking our advice and cleaning up their act as they near the debut of a syndicated television series based on the corporate porn-pushing gossip site.
And the proof is in the pudding! In recent days the crass and often obscene headlines have been toned down considerably. In fact, in the last day or so…

Posted in Tabloid Baby | Comments Off

The Mayor And Mirthala Salinas

Posted on August 10, 2007 by Luke Ford

ERSnews.com reports:

ERSNews.com has exclusively learned that Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and suspended Telemundo Anchor/Reporter Marthala Salinas may be doing more than playing tennis and taking afternoon tea at Getty House. Getty House, the official residence of the Mayor of Los Angeles, is a mansion in the Hancock Park area complete with a tennis court.
Reliable sources have told ERSNews that Salinas is spending so much time at Getty House that she may be living there. Several weeks ago the Mayor’s family moved out of the 6th and Irving estate and apparently moved back to the Mayor’s Mount Washington residence on the east side of Los Angeles.
Since ERSNews has extensively reported on the relationship between the Mayor and Salinas, she has rarely been seen. Although, when ERSNews went calling on her Studio City condo, the only sound from inside was a barking dog.

TMZ reports:

L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, 54, and his newsbabe vixen, Mirthala Salinas, 37, were spotted by a TMZ spy while shoe shopping at San Fernando Valley’s Fashion Square Mall — girlfriend needs some new zapatos!
…Our eyewitness spy reports that the Mayor was happy to pose for a picture, but Ms. Salinas, in jeans and heels, attempted to avoid being photographed. The Mayor then wanted to see the "photo" being taken, and literally took the cell phone from our spy to flip through the photos — photo approval anyone?! Noticias a las 11!

Posted in Antonio Villaraigosa, Eric Longabardi, Mirthala Salinas | Comments Off

Amalek Worries About The Jews

Posted on August 10, 2007 by Luke Ford

Chaim Amalek writes:

More and more frequently one encounters young yeshivish Jews in New York who speak with a weird, unplaceable accent. When interviewed on television, they seem to be mentally slow to the point where one wonders if they might not be brain damaged. Sometimes they are, but usually they are not. What is happening is that although they have grown up here in America, they have been isolated from America to the point that they can barely speak English. Increasingly, it just isn’t spoken at home or in their yeshivas. Also, they seem to know virtually nothing of science, mathematics, history, music or anything else of extra-Talmudic origin. These are young men (the young women are invisible – are they all home taking care of their children?) whose life prospects have been circumcised by the design of the not-so-learned elders of Zion, the ultra -orthodox rabbinate, who appear to have concluded that if it isn’t in the Talmud, it isn’t worth knowing, so why waste time in the yeshiva teaching it?
Thanks to their Palestinian-like habits of procreation, their part of the Jewish world may indeed be growing by leaps and bounds. But it is also experiencing substantial inbreeding and downward movement in terms of its ability to interact with the broader world and influence events. I know they think that their forms of prayer and study of the Talmud will suffice no matter what, but that experiment was tried by their antecedents in Poland and Hungary during WW II with disastrous results.
Concerned Jews should stop supporting ultra-orthodox charities and communal institutions, as they are bad for the Jews.

Joe emails:

Luke, please proofread and spellcheck my emails before
you post them. It’s an embarassment for the jews to
have such bad typos!

I agree with amalek, that mainstream jews need to be made aware that their funding of the yeshiva world is akin to the sloppy monetary policy that created this subprime credit bubble mess.
Every dollar donated to yeshiva’s (like Lakewood) helps churn out a generation of ignorant field niggers and talibaner’s.
No only are "secular" studies given short shrift and considered unimportant, torah is placed on the back burner, and ethics completely forgotten.
97% of yeshiva graduates are incapable of normal function outside of the "black velvet" belt of lakewood, boro park, monsey, etc.

The reason that I don’t proof your emails before publication is that I want to make your point about the lack of good secular education at many yeshivot.

Posted in Chaim Amalek, Orthodoxy | Comments Off

Taliban Jews

Posted on August 9, 2007 by Luke Ford

Joe emails:

I’ve been reading your heeb report. I’ve been out of the orthodox loop for about 15 years, so it’s interesting to see what’s going on. I saw something about the bifurcation between orthodox and reform. This brought to mind a conversation I had with a friend of mine who is modern orthodox. He tells me that most communities and scools are moving to the far right (black hat).
I spent about the 1980’s in "top" east coast Yeshiva’s including Mir Yeshiva, Darchei Torah, Ner Israel.
Would you believe that I learned almost nothing about the history of the Jewish people? Actually, there was very little focus on the Torah. It was almost exclusive focus on the talmud, and halacha. This was really worthless without the hostoric/social context. What was the point of being Jewish? Or orthodox?
I did learn the importance of wearing a black velvet yarmulka as opposed to the suede, or knitted type. Also I learned that god considers it important that you wear a stetson hat while praying (preferrably black, or dark blue).

Posted in Orthodoxy | Comments Off

Shuki Amar

Posted on August 9, 2007 by Luke Ford

Jan emails: "It’s funny that the Journal, after writing this glowing profile back in 2000, has not investigated this horrible guy. "

Mike emails March 5, 2007:

I just contacted Michael [Aushenker] via email regarding a "fluff piece" he wrote for the Jewish Journal back in 2000 entitled "It’s Shuki’s World and we just live in it" In this piece he praises this young Jewish self promoting wonderkid Shuki Amar who appeared on the scene and created Shuki International USA Inc. And many other ventures. He billed him to be a pillar of the Jewish Community. Shuki Amar as it turns out to be the truth is NOT the American Dream but the American Nightmare who has built a mini "empire" by conning and stealing and preying on people who can’t see past his sleazy charm.
Here’s the story and I relate to you only the provable facts of this one situation. I have the contract – the letters from the lawyers and the consumate hatred of the person being wronged.
*Statement of facts about Shuki International USA Inc. and felonious actions of the founder , Shuki Amar who hides behind his father’s name, Shaoul Amar.
* On October 15, 2002 Shuki borrowed $100,000 from John Drummer, a very sick man who was dying from cancer and AIDS, to acquire limousines for his business. The terms were to pay $667 per month for the period of one year at which time the principal was to be given back in full along with the interest negotiated. Shuki made, at the most, 4 interest payments and then walked away from the debt. At the end of the year he did not return the principal and still to this day, some 4 ½ years later he has not paid a dime. John Drummer died and his estate passed to Patrick Lucas.
On Feb 14, 2004 the lawyers for the estate tried to collect what was now $110,666.72. Certified mail receipt shows he received this demand but he did not respond. The law firm sent a letter saying they were instituting a law suit. No response. The law firm gave up.
In October 2006, Patrick Lucas (the estate) made a settlement offer on the phone of $50,000. Shuki basically told him to "fuck off" "go ahead and sue me! I’ll declare bankruptcy".
As of February 07 the amount he owes is over $134,000. Shuki International now rents jets, high end exotic cars, limo service, buys and sells homes, has his own brand of jeans, rents billboards on Sunset Blvd. (where you may have seen his tacky advertising) and has started another company Shuki International Motion Pictures Inc. He has built himself a little empire and if you believe his press and website he is a millionaire many times over. One who refuses to pay back this loan that helped him start. This is a bad man. Please do no business with him. See http://www.shukiinternational.com

Dudemanphat blogs:

Mr. Shuki, through his company, Shuki International, is apparently a business that preys on the fat-walleted and near-sighted. And in my investigation, which included me getting out and looking at the billboards more closely, I found the teeny tinier fine print*
-Yes, you can rent a limo for $29. But that deal is only available Monday through Wednesday between 9 am and 2 pm. Unluckily, I never fly on a offday and wouldn’t need a limo to go to LAX. And IHOP is down the street and I doubt anyone would be impressed if I rolled up in a stretch to get all Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity® on their pancakes. So…no whammy. /p>
-You can rent a jet for $299. But, according to the billboard, that’s only an "empty leg fare." I have no idea what that means. The rate of the jet without the gas, pilot and stewardess? Does it at least have an raft on board just in case I fly it myself but need some Indiana Jones circa Temple of Doom insurance? These questions should be answered on the website, Shuki-Baby. /p>
-Best? I can rent a Lamborghini for $499 a day. But that includes a $20 a mile fee. If I’m putting down dough like that, there better be a trampoline and a full bar in the back. /p>
*On the billboard, the teeny tinier fine print is probably more like 782 pt font using Microsoft Word. But, in comparison, ’tis tiny.

A source writes:

I tracked the Limo business Shuki and his father started with the money they stole from Mr. Drummer. It’s changed names more than once, as is the custom for the Amars. They change the name of the business or run it under something slightly different sounding. That way the creditors have no idea who to sue.

Shaoul Amar had a hack license that is now defunct. I can dig up the number if anybody needs it. The limo business to my knowledge has wound up with the name of KLS Transportation and I believe is run out of an office on Santa Monica Blvd. The PUC license doesn’t have Shuki or his dad on it A few months ago, the website for the Santa Monica office linked directly to the Shuki International website or I wouldn’t have figured out the link between the two. (Except for the KLS name – that’s another story.)
What do I have to do with this mess?? I’m trying to find the paper trail to the laundry service Shuki uses to clean the money he’s stealing. I don’t have time to go into it here.
I’ve written to the DMV, FBI, IRS, Board of Equalization and the alphabet soup of agencies. In spite of the obvious hight dollar fraud. nobody wants to get involved. I try to explain what’s happening. I lay out the facts. They don’t get it.
I’m mainly dealing with Shuki’s involvement in the automobile business. You won’t see it on paper anywhere, but Shuki has his hand in at least one car dealership that he has not, as yet, run into the dirt. I’m pretty sure he was tied up with SNS Auto. They were busted last year for $3.5 million in tax evasion. The company officers went to jail. I don’t think they could prove Shuki was involved. I found one court document that tied him to SNS through a loan his father took out.

Posted in Shuki Amar | Comments Off

Loving Under The Eyes Of God

Posted on August 9, 2007 by Luke Ford

Emma writes:

Hey Luke, Very interesting and long-overdue profile last week in the JJ, even though the writer didn’t dig deep enough into Luke’s love life under the watchful eyes of God. Also, your stylist could have brought a comb and suggested a sharp Italian suit instead of the shapeless golf shirt. Didn’t someone publish a photo montage once, comparing your look before and after converting to Judaism? From dark and handsome crooner on your headshots for Hollywood to tourist in soft shorts and white socks… It was very funny. Is there some truth to it? I hope that you revive the old look when you go out on dates with strange women.
…I’m sorry to hear about these tough times in sentimental and sexual wilderness. You would think that all the attention would bring you dates, or at least, some fan mail from female readers, poems, vegan cookies slipped into your mailbox etc. I wonder how Google has changed your love life. I mean, how many women have googled you and found out all about you, including crude photo montages and photos of Holly and the others and given up prematurely.

Posted in Personal | Comments Off

Illegal Vending Growing In Los Angeles

Posted on August 9, 2007 by Luke Ford

From MayorSam:

Now that street vendors are popping up in greater numbers and in new areas throughout the Streets of Los Angeles; what impact will this have on the Los Angeles business, safety and health?
If you take a look around the City, you may notice a new wave of underground economy taking to the streets of Los Angeles: Street vending. It’s a lot of fun…like the world’s biggest flea market, each and every day, right there with no frills, no overhead and no safety or accountability.
All at a time when business owners are hit with skyrocketing operating expenses, in a recession-teetering economy, where restaurant and retail owners have to compete with the mega-centers on one end, and business owners in Los Angeles must also compete with anyone in the world who wants to come to America and set up shop, anywhere on the sidewalk, and sell anything you want, like food or illegally pirated and bootlegged merchandise flown in from overseas by terrorists or whoever decides they want to make beau coup dollars illegally while, undermining the U.S. economy.
And these business owners not only face higher operating expenses on the job, among the new illegal flank attack on the tax revenue generating business, products and services that drive this city and its economy; but when they get home they have to pay their bulky item fee, solid waste fee, trash collection fee, higher gas taxes, and all the other homeowner related increases and innovations of “personal wealth reduction management” that the City, County and State politicians are so good at.

Posted in Los Angeles | Comments Off