“Where the News Comes First, I Died For Your Sins.”

Jim Jones tells me to butch up: "Stop being such a whining drama queen. The more you keep going in this direction, the more you look like the bitch you so obviously are."

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Joey Kurtzman Doesn’t Find The Jewish Community Intellectually Compelling

Complete discussion here:

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Good Times In My Chatroom

Friday afternoons are always hopping on my live cam.

All Gedolim gather around and share penitence thoughts before the days of awe.

I’m ready HaShem! Give me what I deserve! I want pure justice, forget that touchy feely stuff.

I believe the following is pure satire. I am not Aaron Biston’s sister.

AvshalomKatz:  Shalom Luke
BarneyRubble:  How’s  your resignation coming?
BarneyRubble:  Can’t wait to be back in Jerusalem?
AvshalomKatz:  I would like to stay at Beth Jacob
AvshalomKatz:  it wasn’t practical to them
AvshalomKatz:  they were nice to make that arrangement with me for the last 2 years
BarneyRubble:  I was told you are Aaron’s Biston’s sister before your operation.

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A Little Bit Of Monica In Luke’s Life?

Chaim Amalek emails:

Was the unseen Monica in your hovel the other day THE Monica of Levinas fame? And if so, how did you pull this off? What’s she like? Will you save her from the demographic doom that has befallen so many of her somewhat older sisters and aunts as they spent the best, most fertile years of their lives in service to their intellectual pursuits when they ought to have been procreating? (Speaking of which, a great date movie for this purpose is "Idiocracy" by Mike Judge.)

How many Jewish temples are within walking distance of your hovel? How many of those are to your taste, theologically speaking, and of those, how many have you been barred from?

Thirty. Five. Theology does not matter to me. Keeping women on their side of the mehitza does. As long as they are all covered up, I am happy being snug with my mates and with my God. Word!

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I Apologize For Outing The Rabbi

A few months ago, I published extensive selections of a rabbi’s private emails to non-Jewish women who’d crashed his Jewish singles events.

I selected those parts of his emails that made the rabbi look really bad.

I know that we have all sent off crazy private emails. We’d all look horrible if we had some of our emails published.

But I chose to publish these emails because I believed that by outing them, I was doing a public service.

I was outing for the public good. After all, many of these emails were insensitive.

Oh wait. I didn’t out that rabbi. I didn’t choose to publish private correspondence. That was the Jewish Journal.

I wonder if any of these journalists will be kicked to the curb this Rosh Hashanah?

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I Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest

Yesterday I got an orthodox lobotomy.

Sure, I lost a lot of grey matter, but the whole thing took that nasty edge off my personality.

I’ll never write anything unpleasant again.

I’ll never out anyone again.

I’ll never speak out of turn.

I did it for the good of Pico/Robertson.

I’m now dedicated to the ways of peace.

Shalom.

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What Is The Essence Of Judaism?

A threeway discussion at the hovel:

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This Week’s Torah Portion III

A threeway discussion:

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Is Moshe A Prophet Or A Failed Leader?

From wikipedia: Moses speculated that perchance there were among the Israelites some whose hearts were even then turning away from God to go worship the gods of those nations, who might think themselves immune, thinking that they would be safe though they followed their own willful hearts to the ruin of all.

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Luke Ford, Joey Kurtzman and Monica Discuss Torah Portions Nitzavim & Vayeilech

I had some smart minds in the hovel this afternoon:

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