Torah Talk Thursday With Joey Kurtzman, Monica

We discuss the last Torah portion of the year. Full video here.

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I’m Suffering From Post Yom Kippur Letdown

A cold Santa Ana wind blows outside the hovel:

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German Rabbinic School About To Close

Report:

Potsdam, Germany – The global financial firestorm unleashed by the meltdown in America’s risky mortgage business is starting to sweep through aspects of life which might have seemed immune to a shakeout in shares and the banking system.

But 15 months into the crisis with economic uncertainty growing and credit drying up, the effects of the financial market turmoil is beginning to impact dramatically on a range of activities, including even a new college for Rabbis in Germany.

"Without effective and rapid help we will have to close," said Walter Homolka, the rector of the Abraham Geiger College in the city of Potsdam, the historic capital of the German state of Brandenburg which surrounds Berlin.

After surviving the recent slump in the dollar, the college is now facing a collapse in donations from the US and Europe as a result of what is the world’s biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression.

Based at the University of Potsdam, the college offers the first Rabbi teaching course mounted in Central Europe since the Holocaust.

Speaking in an interview with the Deutsche Presse Agentur dpa, Homolka said the college’s closure would represent a major loss to Germany and setback its drive to recreate a Jewish community in the nation more than 70 years after the Nazis conspired to wipe out Jewish life in the country.

The college, which held its first ordination in 2006, was evidence of the "renewal of Jewish life" in Germany, said Homolka.

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Gary Levine – Showtime Exec And Cantor For The Ohr HaTorah Breakaway Minyan

If Ohr HaTorah (my favorite place to learn about the inner life) had been able to retain half the people whoever joined the synagogue, it would have about 3,000 members today. Instead it has about 400.

From the Jewish Journal:

Using his voice to help carry a congregation along was "enormously satisfying." In some mysterious way, Levine’s early voice training and temple attendance, all of which he had forsaken, had come together for some greater purpose.

For the next eight or nine years, Levine served as one of the congregation’s volunteer cantors. He assisted Rabbi Finley at services, at weddings, bar mitzvahs and funerals. Once, when Finley was asked to officiate at a Wexner Heritage Foundation event and was allowed to invite any cantor in the country to assist him, he chose Levine.

However, at a certain point, Levine and Finley reached what Levine refers to as "creative differences" — a euphemism from his showbiz world. Levine stopped officiating and returned to being a congregant. Yet that, in time, proved too frustrating an experience.

"We drifted away," Levine said.

Levine was without a congregation. On occasion, he freelanced, as when a congregation in Montecito whose cantor was on bed rest called him to fill in for the High Holy Days. But he thought his cantorial days were behind him.

Then, in 2002, he heard from a group who wanted to start their own minyan, several of who were former members of Ohr HaTorah. Levine declined, not wanting to be part of a breakaway group.

However, as the group grew and formalized themselves into a congregation of their own — Ahavat Torah — and were joined by Rabbi Miriam Hamrell, Levine accepted the invitation to come in and chant. That was about five years ago, and Levine has been their cantorial soloist ever since.

Levine describes Ahavat Torah as a congregation for the 40-plus crowd (age, not suit size), whose kids are out of religious school — people not forced to find a congregation but seeking one where the prayers are vociferous, and with intense, interesting Torah discussions. They have fashioned their own siddur (prayer book) with the prayers mostly in Hebrew; it’s egalitarian; and people dress from casual to traditional. The drash (or sermon) is given by the rabbi once a month, while others come from guest rabbis or congregants. Levine describes it as "very cordial, very inviting, small and warm."

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A Reform Alternative To Aish HaTorah

From the Jewish Chronicle of London:

The Reform movement is about to take the first step to launch an alternative to Aish, the Orthodox outreach organisation for young adults.

A residential weekend next month will be the inaugural event by the Assembly of Reform Rabbis to offer a "non-fundamentalist" alternative.

Rabbi Mark Goldsmith, of London’s North-Western Reform Synagogue – who is leading the initiative with Rabbi Neil Amswych of Bournemouth Reform Synagogue – said: "The Assembly wants to try to provide the quality of input for young adults that organisations such as Aish do."

Aish – which enjoyed an income of more than £3 million in 2005 – is active in providing programmes for young Jewish adults with heavily subsidised trips abroad, Friday-night dinners and other social and educational events.

Rabbi Goldsmith said: "We know that many young Jews, who don’t subscribe to the beliefs that Aish stands for, still really enjoy Aish events because they are well-planned, well-executed and well-supported by rabbis. We want to provide a non-fundamentalist model of true Jewish engagement."

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Luke Needs An Intervention

Khunrum emails my advisory committee:

Robert…Fred…You guys live in sunny Cal. You two must make an "Intervention" on Luke. He needs to be kidnapped and delivered to one of those deprogramming centers where they take the Moonies and other cult people. It’s the last hope. They attach electrodes to his genitalia and ask what his religion is. When he answers Jewish, they’ll shock him with 10,000 volts. Eventually he’ll say "I’m a goy" and get a few sips of cooling rice milk. Then they’ll inquire as to his employment…he’ll say "I write for an online Jewzine"…. Whack….another 10,000 volts…If he replies "I’m a Porner", more cooling rice milk and perhaps an energy bar. Soon, he’ll be the Luke of yore…Start hatching plans now.Robert…Fred…You guys live in sunny Cal. You two must make an "Intervention" on Luke. He needs to be kidnapped and delivered to one of those deprogramming centers where they take the Moonies and other cult people. It’s the last hope. They attach electrodes to his genitalia and ask what his religion is. When he answers Jewish, they’ll shock him with 10,000 volts. Eventually he’ll say "I’m a goy" and get a few sips of cooling rice milk. Then they’ll enquire as to his employment…he’ll say "I write for an online Jewzine"…. Whack….another 10,000 volts…If he replies "I’m a Porner", more cooling rice milk and perhaps an energy bar. Soon, he’ll be the Luke of yore…Start hatching plans now.

Gents…Could it be that Luke, crafty bugger that he is, has finally outsmarted you Jews? For years you have been trying to rid yourselves of this pest. Countless people have reminded Luke that he is not a genuine Jew but that has not slowed him down one bit. He’s been banned from every shul in Beverly Hills and yet like a mosquito bite that continues to irritate, he soldiers on, pissing off one and all on a daily basis. Unable to deal with this convert from hell the Pico/Robertson Yids have brought the Trogan Horse into the compound. You have given him his diploma. He’s been certified. The question is, now that you have Luke…now that he is one of the flock, what the hell are you going to do with him? hahahaaaa! Good Luck.

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BILL R. SEGURA VS RESEARCH CENTER OF KABBALAH

The case number in Los Angeles Superior Court is SC100189.

From the LASuperiorCourt.org:

Filing Date: 10/14/2008
Case Type: Intentional PI/PD/WD (eg. assault) (General Jurisdiction)
Status: Pending

Future Hearings

02/02/2009 at 08:30 am in department WEM at 1725 Main Street, Santa Monica, CA 90401
Initial Status Conference

The "Research Center of Kabbalah" is part of the Kabbalah Centre.

He’s suing for intentional infliction of emotional distress. Hmm.

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Live Torah Talk With Monica & Joey

Click here to join the fun.

We’re discussing the last Torah portion — Vezot Haberachah (Deuteronomy 33 and 34).

According to Wikipedia:

“The Lord . . . came from the myriads holy, at His right hand was a fiery law to them.” (Deut. 33:2.)

“The Lord . . . came from the myriads holy, at His right hand was a fiery law to them.” (Deut. 33:2.)

The blessing of Moses

Before he died, Moses, the man of God, bade the Israelites farewell with this blessing: God came from Sinai, shone on them from Seir, appeared from Paran, and approached from Ribeboth-kodesh, lightning flashing from God’s right. (Deut. 33:1–2.) God loved the people, holding their hallowed in God’s hand. (Deut. 33:3.) The people followed in God’s steps, accepting God’s Torah as the heritage of the congregation of Jacob. (Deut. 33:3–4.) God became King in Jeshurun when the chiefs of the tribes of Israel assembled. (Deut. 33:5.)

Moses prayed that the Tribe of Reuben survive, though its numbers were few. (Deut. 33:6.)

Moses asked God to hear the voice of the Tribe of Judah, restore it, and help it against its foes. (Deut. 33:7.)

Moses prayed that God would be with the Levites, who held God’s Urim and Thummim, whom God tested at Massah and Meribah, who disregarded family ties to carry out God’s will, who would teach God’s laws to Israel, and who would offer God’s incense and offerings. (Deut. 33:8–10.) Moses asked God to bless their substance, favor their undertakings, and smite their enemies. (Deut. 33:8–11.)

Moses said that God loved and always protected the Tribe of Benjamin, who rested securely beside God, between God’s shoulders. (Deut. 33:8–12.)

“Zebulun . . . and Issachar . . . shall suck the abundance of the seas and the hidden treasures of the sand.”

“Zebulun . . . and Issachar . . . shall suck the abundance of the seas and the hidden treasures of the sand.”

Moses called on God to bless the Tribe of Joseph with dew, the yield of the sun, crops in season, the bounty of the hills, and the favor of the Presence in the burning bush. (Deut. 33:13–16.) Moses likened the tribe to a firstling bull, with horns like a wild ox, who gores the peoples from one end of the earth to the other. (Deut. 33:17.)

Moses exhorted the Tribe of Zebulun to rejoice on its journeys, and the Tribe of Issachar in its tents. (Deut. 33:18.) They invited their kin to the mountain where they offered sacrifices of success; they drew from the riches of the sea and the hidden hoards of the sand. (Deut. 33:19.)

“Gad . . . dwells like a lion.” (Deut. 33:20.)  (brick panel from the Procession Way of Babylon, now at the Louvre)

“Gad . . . dwells like a lion.” (Deut. 33:20.) (brick panel from the Procession Way of Babylon, now at the Louvre)

Moses blessed the God who enlarged the Tribe of Gad, who was poised like a lion, who chose the best, the portion of the revered chieftain, who executed God’s judgments for Israel. (Deut. 33:20–21.)

Moses called the Tribe of Dan a lion’s whelp that leapt from Bashan. (Deut. 33:22.)

Moses told the Tribe of Naphtali, sated with favor and blessed by God, to take possession on the west and south. (Deut. 33:23.)

Moses prayed that the Tribe of Asher be the favorite among the tribes, dip its feet in oil, and have door bolts of iron and copper and security all its days. (Deut. 33:24–25.)

Moses said that there was none like God, riding through the heavens to help, an everlasting refuge and support, Who drove out the enemy. (Deut. 33:26–27.) Thus Israel dwelt untroubled in safety in a land of grain and wine under heaven’s dripping dew. (Deut. 33:28.) Who was like Israel, a people delivered by God, God’s protecting Shield and Sword triumphant over Israel’s cringing enemies. (Deut. 33:29.)

The death of Moses

Moses went up from the steppes of Moab to Mount Nebo, and God showed him the whole land. (Deut. 34:1–3.) God told Moses that this was the land that God had sworn to assign to the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. (Deut. 34:4.)

So Moses the servant of God died there, in the land of Moab, at God’s command, and God buried him in the valley in the land of Moab, near Beth-peor, although no one knew his burial place. (Deut. 34:5–6.) Moses was 120 years old when he died, but his eyes were undimmed and his vigor unabated. (Deut. 34:7.) The Israelites mourned for 30 days. (Deut. 34:8.) Joshua was filled with the spirit of wisdom because Moses had laid his hands on him, and the Israelites heeded him. (Deut. 34:9.)

Never again did there arise in Israel a prophet like Moses, whom God singled out, face to face, for the signs and portents that God sent him to display against Pharaoh and Egypt, and for all the awesome power that Moses displayed before Israel. (Deut. 34:10–12.)

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I’m Tired Of The Fluffy Treatment The Jewish Journal Gives ‘Progressive’ Orthodox Judaism

The rabbis must be happy when they can have one of their own write these stories.

That way they won’t be asked any tough questions.

This is what I call unethical journalism — having someone you control report on you.

Here are excerpts from the Jewish Journal story:

Seeking to accentuate Jewish traditions that place a premium on ethical integrity, Los Angeles Orthodox rabbis are encouraging local businesses to sign up for a new seal of certification that ensures employers are treating workers fairly and humanely.

The move comes in response to allegations over the past year that the nation’s largest kosher slaughterhouse, Agriprocessors in Postville, Iowa, routinely violated the rights of its employees, many of them undocumented workers and many of them underage.

"We have always considered ourselves to be a light onto the nations — we’re the ones who are supposed to be a paradigm and example and role model for the rest of the world of what it means to be an ethical, moral, Godly person," said Rabbi Daniel Korobkin, leader of Kehillat Yavneh in Hancock Park. "If the world or if the media is looking askance, for whatever reason, at the Orthodox community, then it behooves us to address the issues."

Korobkin rallied his colleagues [three Modern Orthodox pulpit rabbis] to address the national crisis in kosher confidence by turning an eye toward businesses that serve the Jewish community on a local level.

They will offer, at no cost, a rabbinic seal of approval to any business or institution that volunteers to undergo scrutiny to verify that employees are being treated according to local, state and federal labor laws. The certificate will not be tied to kashrut in any way.

The three rabbis, and Rabbi Steven Weil of Beth Jacob, introduced the concept to their congregants in sermons during the High Holy Days. They have volunteered their own synagogues to be analyzed first and then within the next few months, hope to expand to other shuls, schools and businesses, starting mainly with the Pico-Robertson corridor and reaching out as the project grows.

A similar initiative in Israel, Bema’aglei Tzedek, was founded in 2004.

Last year, the United Synagogue for Conservative Judaism created Hekhsher Tzedek, a certification for kosher food processors that encompasses fair treatment of workers, corporate integrity and environmental responsibility.

The Los Angeles group is calling itself Peulat Sachir: Ethical Labor Initiative, based on language from the verse in Leviticus 19 that prohibits an employer from withholding wages overnight from a worker.

Peulat Sachir will involve itself in six areas: minimum wage, overtime, rest and meal breaks, workers compensation, leave policies and anti-discrimination protections. A lay board of labor lawyers, businesspeople and others with expertise in the field will analyze business practices by looking at paperwork and talking with employees.

The board will not deal with the complex area of immigration status. Labor laws apply equally to documented and undocumented workers, explained Craig Ackermann, a labor lawyer and lay leader on the project.

Businesses will not have to pay for certificates, but the rabbis acknowledge that businesses may have to spend more to qualify for the certificate, if, for instance, they have to start paying for overtime, giving paid leave or making sure workers get appropriate breaks.

Whether businesses which are not now in compliance will risk having to pass those costs on to customers is an open question.

The rabbis are hoping that once consumers begin to ask for the certificate or more heavily patronize businesses that are certified, business owners will see the benefits, both moral and monetary, to being able to display a Peulat Sachir certificate in the window.

Over the next few weeks, the rabbis will continue to constitute the lay board and will reach out to businesses and different segments of the community. They are contacting leaders of the Iranian community, because a large percentage of the businesses on Pico Boulevard are Iranian owned. They are also reaching out to the right wing of the Orthodox community, which on a national level has been wary of similar projects.

For more information on the Ethical Labor Initiative, call (310) 276-9269.

I knew this project was in serious trouble when I read that it would "raise awareness."

Whenever I hear that phrase, I break out in hives.

Oy, why didn’t any of these rabbis come to the Moral Leader before going to work? I could’ve saved them so much tsures.

I live to make rabbis’ lives easier.

Oy, oy, oy!

If only these rabbis spent less time booting me and more time listening to me.

Oy, oy, oy!

This noble-sounding "Peulat Sachir" effort is a bridge too far. It goes far outside the realm of Torah to set wages, vacation days, anti-discrimination statutes, etc. It goes far outside the expertise of rabbis. Worst of all, it is a violation of the Third Commandment — Thou shalt not take G-d’s name in vain. In vain, this program puts G-d’s name and the Torah’s name on a certificate for practices not mentioned by Torah.

Aside from that, it is peachy.

Modern Orthodox rabbis could do many things to make a better world. For one, they could act in areas where they have expertise, such as assembling their own chumash (Torah with commentary). Instead they leave this foundational Jewish task to the charedim (Artscroll) and instead waste their time fighting man-made global warming and other delusions.

It’s no wonder that Modern Orthodoxy is in decline and most Torah-serious Jews are charedi.

Why does Judaism have 100 ritual laws for every one on ethics? Because ethics are difficult to legislate.

This attempt above means well, but will it do well?

Can rabbis determine a fair wage? Is there a wisdom that comes from learning Talmud that allows one to improve on the free market? What if people are willing to come to Pico-Robertson to work under the table for $5 an hour but the rabbis determine that the minimum wage should be the $8 an hour mandated by law? At $8 per hour, the employer will hire fewer people for fewer total hours than at $5 an hour. The employer has a financial incentive to invest in labor-saving devices so he will need fewer employers. He has a financial incentive to offer fewer products and services requiring $8 an hour labor rather than $5 an hour labor.

Go down to Venice Beach and ask the people who surf and smoke dope and sell drugs and chase chicks all day why they act as they do? They will tell you, "It’s the minimum wage. It distorts the market place. If the invisible hand were allowed to operate freely, I’d be gainfully employed right now, contributing to society, my family and myself. But when government and rabbis intervene into the contracts arrived at freely by workers and employers, it bums my ride, man."

There are few people in Los Angeles who know more Torah than I do and I can tell you definitively that the Torah offers little guidance on how many vacations days a year an employer should offer his workers. The Torah also offers little guidance to rabbis about interfering in the contracts of free persons regarding overtime pay. I used to work construction and I’d sometimes rack up 100 hour work weeks. I did it with the understanding I would not be paid extra for overtime. That was fine by me. If my boss had to pay me extra for overtime, I would have been restricted to 40 hours a week.

When I worked construction, I often skipped my legally mandated ten minute breaks every two hours. I prefered to work straight through because I loved my work. I loved the sun on my back and the sweat in my eyes and the strain on my muscles as I powered through digging a ditch. It made me feel like a man. The chicks who were watching me dug it too. They liked the way I filled out my blue jeans.

I’ve worked a lot of jobs where I skipped my meal breaks, snacked on the job, and thereby got off earlier. It was win-win and none of the parties to our agreement would have taken kindly to rabbis interfering.

I practically know the Talmud by heart and I don’t recall anything in there about protecting the rights of transvestites, the transgendered and the sodomites. So what are the "anti-discrimination protections" these rabbis will enforce? That men who choose to lie with men as though they were women should not be called on their abomination?

The Torah is not some abstract document for me. It’s not a piece of literature that was weaved together by various men over centuries in the Ancient Near East. For me, the Torah is the immutable word of God. Every word in it is divine. It can never be superceded.

The other day, a goy challenged me to sum up the entire Torah while standing on one hand. It wasn’t easy, but I managed to choke out "discrimination!" before collapsing in a sweaty pile.

The Hebrew word for "holiness" is "kadosh" which means separate, distinct. The Torah is all about discrimination. It prescribes separate roles for men and women, Jews and Gentiles, adults and children, Kohenim from Leviim from Israelites and so.

Here’s how the havadalah ceremony ends (we recite this at the end of every Sabbath): "Blessed are You, Lord, our God, King of the Universe, who distinguishes between the sacred and the secular, between light and dark, between Israel and the nations, between the seventh day and the six days of labor. Blessed are You, Lord, who distinguishes between the sacred and the secular."

That sounds like discrimination to me.

if it’s good for the Torah, it’s good enough for me.

You could stick a pin through a tractate of Talmud and if you gave me sentence where the pin went in, I could give you the sentence where the pin comes out, yet I am unaware of the Talmud making any ruling on paternity leave or rehab leave or grieving leave or get-in-touch-with-your-feelings leave, etc. So how can rabbis legislate on the appropriate amount of leave an employer must extend to his workers?

I recall something in the written Torah that a cripple can not be a Kohen Gadol (High Priest). What if they built the Third Temple here in Pico-Robertson and a cripple was due to become the Kohen Gadol?

Pico-Robinites are jolly lucky to have me around to keep them straight.

I know what you’re thinking. In fact, I can practically hear you screaming, "But what about the workers, governor?"

Well, the best thing the rabbis can do for the workers is to urge their congregants to vote Republican and to urge the Republican leadership to cut marginal tax rates and eliminate the capital gains tax.

Rav Yitzhock Adlerstein and Rabbi Michael Broyde wrote an article for the Forward making many of my points above, albeit less colorfully.

Rav Adlerstein writes:

Our position is that scrupulously obeying the law – Torah law, and the law of the land – is a good idea. Going beyond the letter of the law is also a good idea. Hekhsher Tzedek is not a good idea.

…Moving in the marketplace beyond the letter of the law in is not easy to demand. What level of compensation, of health-benefits, of vacation privileges should be agreed upon as “ethical?” Without such agreement, any standard is unsatisfying. What is compelling to one person is excessive to another, and insufficient to yet someone else. If the standard does not flow directly from Torah literature, then it is necessarily arbitrary. Both Rabbi Broyde and I (as well as anyone who spent a decent amount of time in a yeshiva) know that there is no accepted set of ethical expectations. If arbitrary standards are going to be used instead, we argue that rabbis are no better than anyone else in developing them, and at a definite disadvantage in enforcing them, having little investigative experience or authority.

Briefly, if the standard is a legal one, governmental agencies can do a better job enforcing them. If the standard is not a legal one – and does not flow from genuine Torah sources – then reasonable people will disagree, and rabbis have little to add.

Some would argue that there is nothing to lose by agreeing to have a group of well- meaning rabbis come up with some standard, even if arbitrary. This is a mistake. Whenever you go beyond the expectations of the law, there are complications. Sometimes, they are so onerous as to make the entire exercise counterproductive. It is easy to see, for example, that the wage and benefit package suggested by Hekhsher Tzedek will add significantly to the price per pound that consumers will have to pay for meat. It should also be easy to see that were meat prices to rise, someone would set up large scale production in Argentina, or even China, and not have to worry about American conceptions of minimum wages and benefits. The net result is that American workers would not get enhanced wage packages, but that they would lose their jobs altogether.

I really resent the increasing intrusion of rabbis into our lives. Soon they’ll be telling me what I may and may not blog. Oh, the horror, the horror.

Joe emails:

The issue is not coverage of the certification process, but why it is necessary. Let the Jewish Journal cover why there is no course in any Jewish Orthodox Day School on ethics/reliability/integrity/accountability/decency.

The pedagogic philosophy of L. Ron Hubbard emphasized these traits. I believe teaching these traits to children is also part of the Torah way, especially if Jews are going to live in a modern society with a developed legal system that does legislate some ethics.

The pedagogic philosophy at Orthodox day schools is too devoted to filling kids brains with legends, allegories, and medieval law (and I am a huge talmud fan). Instead of the first part of Talmud learned in day school being the laws of lost objects and when you return them, let kids learn "Pirkey Avot" which talks about ethics such as the Jewish view on karma (a famous portion inolves a rabbi seeing a skull in the water and saying that on account of you killing others were you killed, and those who killed you will be killed).

I won’t even go into the necessity of naming names like Robert Kassirer, et. al. whose shenanigans make the US attorneys heads spin. No way would the Jewish Journal get their hands dirty on that – no – the air conditioned offices of Rabbi Korobkin are much more comfortable. Some journalists record history, some make history. The Jewish Journal seems to do the former, without even attempting at the latter.

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Reforming Orthodox Judaism

Joe emails:

1. No second day of Yom Tov.

2. Davening should be shortened to just the shema, the shemonah esreh and the psalm of the day. The rest of the time alloted should be for communal and interactive torah study. Same with shabbat.

Reading to oneself approximately 30-50 psalms by rote is not workable anymore. I know of few orthodox men who view minyan as something more than a behavioral chore – it is fine if you also have time for study, but most do not.

A study of something that changes day to day is more productive,

3. Modify Davening to be much more user friendly. Making it shorter would help. Singing in unison works. The shabbat prayers should be more like the happy minyan and less like torah readers enunciating things so super clearly so they can impress their friends. There are certain yom kippur hymns that everyone gets into. That should be done everyday.

4. Make Talmud study compulsory for men, women and children beginning at age 8 and the rabbi should be involved in having the community study talmud together. It is the one thing that judaism has above all other religions. Your father’s analysis of forensic justification is not as complex as even the most straightforward of topics in the Talmud.

5. Allow women to wear loose fitting pants to synagogue.

6. Allow driving to Shul on shabbat for those who live far away and allow those who drive to participate in the service, provided they cannot lead torah reading or serve as cantor.

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