Beth Jacob’s Former Rabbi Uri Pilichowski Posts On FB About Shooting

Rabbi Pilichowski posts a picture of himself shooting with the Facebook update: “Sometimes you need to blow off some steam…shooting is a lot like making kiddush…you always have to keep other people in mind…;)”

I wonder who he has in mind? He must primarily think of Beth Jacob’s leaders who demanded his resignation for hacking email accounts.

A source says: “It is his sense of humor. Call his cell phone voice mail one day and listen. Not funny unless you know him. If you know him, you realize the depth of his sarcasm. A bad decision; especially from how it is perceived, obviously he was not advocating and threatening violence. Just his sick sense of humor.”

Rabbi Pilichowski has taken a position at a Jewish day school in Boca Raton, Florida.

So what happened here?

There are differing perspectives. Here’s one view:

The previous leader of Beth Jacob, Rabbi Steven Weil, liked Rabbi Pilichowski and wanted him to take his place. That was never going to happen.

Beth Jacob went on a search for a senior rabbi and chose R. Kalman Topp.

Meanwhile, Rabbi Weil and Rabbi Pilichowski fell out.

Rabbi Pilichowski did not like the new leader of the shul, Kalman Topp. They got along OK for a few months and then tension developed between.

Fearing for his place in the shul, Rabbi Pilichowski last December started hacking into the shul email accounts of Rabbi Topp, outgoing shul president David West, and executive director Allen Ishakis.

Around January, Rabbi Topp put aside his personal misgivings and agreed to support the shul offering Rabbi Pilichowski a two year contract extension. This extension was then formally offered to Rabbi Pilichowski (a few weeks into 2011). A separate contract was offered to his wife Aliza.

Rabbi Pilichowski has a devoted following at Beth Jacob and almost everyone agrees that he and his wife have done a good job with the shul’s programming for children.

On a regular basis over the past eight months, Rabbi Pilichowski read the private email of Topp, West and Ishakis, email that came in from congregants, financial advisors, spouses, friends and the like. You can imagine the painfully personal emails that some people send their rabbi.

At times, Rabbi Pilichowski deleted emails so that Rabbi Topp and company never saw them. For instance, he deleted an email from Yeshiva University that insisted that Rabbi Pilichowski have nothing to do with the shul’s summer kollel program (staffed by YU scholars).

Why? Because this email from Yeshiva University to Rabbi Topp alleged that Rabbi Pilichowski had acted inappropriately in the interviewing process for the program.

What was the nature of this conduct? Apparently, some got the impression that Rabbi Pilichowski wanted only attractive women on the group he was assembling.

Rabbi Pilichowski did not sign his contract extension as 2011 rolled on. He played a waiting game for months. He was not happy with the contract offer from Beth Jacob.

About a month ago, while checking his deleted email box, Rabbi Topp discovered that that there were emails there he had never seen. Somebody had been reading his email and deleting some of them.

An investigation was mounted and Rabbi Topp, Allen Ishakis, and David West discovered that Rabbi Pilichowski had been hacking into their shul email accounts.

When Rabbi Pilichowski realized that they were on to him, he immediately signed his new contract. His wife signed her new contract.

The next Saturday, June 18, Rabbi Pilichowski confessed what he had done. He was told he would be let go quietly if he would cooperate.

Rabbi Pilichowski would not leave without a fight. He and his supporters insisted on fighting his dismissal. The shul was then torn in two between the supporters of Rabbi Pilichowski and his detractors.

On June 20, a Monday, I posted that something big was happening at Beth Jacob.

The new president of the shul, Hugo Rose, was developing a plan to bring back Rabbi Pilichowski.

On July 1, Hugo Rose took over as Beth Jacob’s board president from David West.

On July 4, I reported that email tampering got Rabbi Pilichowski dismissed from Beth Jacob.

On Monday night, July 11, Beth Jacob’s executive board (under the presidency of Hugo Rose) decided it would rehire Rabbi Pilichowski, hoping that the controversy would go away.

It did not.

Who is Hugo Rose? He’s a businessman. Detached. Analytical. He can ice a room with a glance.

One thing I find interesting about the board’s decision last Monday night was that Rabbi Topp, the shul’s senior rabbi, had made it clear that he could no longer work with Rabbi Pilichowski. “It’s him or me,” was his message.

So Beth Jacob’s board July 11 chose Rabbi Pilichowski over Rabbi Topp.

A storm ensued.

On July 13, I received an email from Beth Jacob member Barry making the case for retaining Rabbi Pilichowski: “Fearing for his future and the future of his family he turned to the only avenue he felt available to him to gain some insight as to what plans were brewing against him.”

As news of the hacking made its way around the Beth Jacob community, many members were outraged at this behavior. Then they were outraged that the shul was hiring him back.

Late Wednesday, July 13, many of Rabbi Pilichowski’s supporters believed the shul would hire him back.

The executive board of Beth Jacob was told that it can’t unilaterally rehire Rabbi Pilichowski. If they want him back, they have to go through the same type of process the shul always engages in with hiring a rabbi.

By July 14, the door had shut on Rabbi Pilichowski’s return to Beth Jacob and everybody concerned knew it.

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Casey Anthony In Southern California

On the one hand, she’s cute and young. On the other hand, she murdered her baby.

I wonder what her dating life will be like? What kind of men will want to get with her?

The LA Times says:

She left the Orange County jail in Florida in the middle of the night Sunday and traveled by SUV to a defense attorney’s office in downtown Orlando. Various reports this week have said she then boarded a private plane that ended up in California.

NBC’s “Today” show reported Tuesday that Anthony left Orlando on a plane owned by California attorney Todd Macaluso — one of Anthony’s former lawyers -– and that flight records indicated the plane eventually landed at John Wayne Airport after making stops in Panama City, Fla.; Prescott, Ariz., and Northern California.

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A Lot Of Girls Want To Live In My World

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I Give The Shirt Off My Back For Torah Talk

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The Ballad Of Sammy

I met this bird at a Shabbat dinner at a nice Orthodox home in my neighborhood.

At the time, I was a bit socially retarded during the week. So when I got an invite for Shabbos, I was a bit over the top.

So I’m sitting there at dinner and I’m introduced to Sammy*. And a while later, not wanting to seem too eager, I say to her, “What high school do you go to?”

She looked 28, but a young 28. She looked prim and proper and modest. I love brunettes like that. Particularly when they’re a raging tiger behind closed doors.

(She later asked me, “Did you really think I was in high school?” No, I admitted. She said, “Men lie!”)

So I didn’t get her contact info that night. I made an ass of myself. I sat in my host’s chair and he complained about it to others later and I got brought up on the unofficial Dennis Prager email list and excoriated.

Then on Purim, I ran into Sammy at my Reform temple Ohr HaTorah. She was happy to see me. She gave me her contact info.

I think for our first date, we went to a Torah class. Then I drove her home in my old bomb. We sat there talking. I explained that I wrote about sex scandals for a living such as the Pamela Anderson sex tape.

She was OK with that.

I took her to a communal Shabbat dinner. The guys there were fascinated with my work. They asked Sammy if she knew what I did. She said yes.

I took her back to the hovel that night and we lay down on my floor and we kissed for the first time.

The next week, we went to dinner and the movies. Well, we didn’t have much time for dinner, so we just went to the Ralphs salad bar and sat in my old bomb and ate. She was not impressed. Then we saw Wag the Dog because I wanted to. She’d already seen it.

Then we went back to her place and she tried to get me off but it didn’t work.

I left about six a.m. because I had to get to minyan. She liked that I went to shul every day and put on tefillin.

We spoke on the phone. She said she was going to Europe for three weeks for vacation. “Don’t wait for me,” she said. “We’re not going anywhere.”

Three weeks later, I was playing touch football with my temple and I broke my left wrist. I got surgery and came back the next day and felt very alone. I called Sammy.

She came over to see me that Shabbos afternoon. She found it attractive that I was so wounded. She gave herself to me totally.

That night was Shuvout. I went to Adat Shalom. I was a bit exuberant. This girl who worked for AOL took great offense to me and started trashing me to everyone who’d listen.

I hugged Sammy goodbye in the parking lot around midnight.

I drove home. She called me. She wanted me to come over. I did.

When she took off her robe, she was wearing lingerie.

I think that night was the highlight of our time together.

We shagged a bit for the next year without ever developing a relationship. When I appeared in the newspapers or TV, Sammy would take notice and give me a shag.

I think the last time we hooked up was after a Holocaust movie and we parted feeling a bit sick.

I helped her move a year later and lay down on her mattress at the end all tired out but she wouldn’t join me.

Sammy gave Orthodox Judaism a shot but it wasn’t for her. She liked to wear a tallit (prayer shawl) in temple because it made her feel pretty. She didn’t care that Jewish law and God did not command women to wear such.

She came to my Reform temple one Shabbos morning. After lunch, she said goodbye and left. “I’ll walk you out,” I said and hurried after her.

She stopped, faced me, and said, “Don’t. I don’t want people to think we’re together.”

She could tell how unpopular I was at my Reform temple and she didn’t want to be contaminated.

I was cut.

I talked about it in therapy.

Sammy called me later and apologized.

A couple of years later, I saw her at Friday Night Live. I called her up a few days later and asked if we should try going out again. She said no. She was seeing someone.

I just searched for her online and on Facebook. I couldn’t find her.

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The Pilichowskis Are Moving To Florida

Rabbi Uri Pilichowski and his wife Aliza (formerly of Beth Jacob in Beverly Hills) have work in Florida and that’s where they’re moving.

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USA Versus Japan In Women’s World Cup Soccer

I’ve never been this excited about a woman’s team sport.

Well, perhaps I was in high school, when I covered the girls basketball team for the Auburn Journal and people at school the next day said that my stories made the games seem exciting.

Anyway, I’m thinking about USA vs. Japan and how nobody in America that I know hates Japan anymore. By contrast, in Australia, there remains tremendous resentment of the Japanese for WWII.

I wonder why this difference?

I think it is because the American economy and cultural and military influence is so huge that it is not threatened in any way by Japan while Australia’s economy is tiny compared to Japan and the Japanese have been able to buy up much of Australia and this rubs many people the wrong way.

I can’t wait to watch this game and exclaim, “Look at how those Japs nip around.”

I wonder if the Japs will use an aerial attack or if they will send in submarines like they did in Sydney harbor?

The Jap defenders are dug in like they were in Iwo Jima!

If you could date any member of the USA team, who? I’ll go with Hope Solo. I need a strong woman in my life.

PS. Japan wins on penalty kicks.

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The Facebook Page For Levi Aron – The Creep Who Kidnapped And Murdered That Hasidic Boy

Levi Aron on Facebook. Thank God we don’t have any friends in common. His ex-wife Debbie.

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Amy Klein Is Engaged

Former Jewish Journal managing editor Amy Klein is engaged. I believe it is to the bloke she wrote about in the New York Times seven months ago. Amy moved to New York almost three years ago.

Orthodox Jew and New York Daily News reporter Reuven Blau is also engaged (to this girl).

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This Week’s Torah Portion – Parashat Mattot (Numbers 30:2-32:42)

I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs every Monday at 7pm PST on my live cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

Watch the videos.

This week we study Parashat Mattot (Numbers 30:2-32:42).

* This week’s Torah portion is concerned with vows. It doesn’t like people making vows. The Torah enforces all sorts of restrictions about vows. The Torah lets men feel in charge because they have 24 hours to revoke a wife or daughter’s vow. I think this is more about a man feeling in charge of his domain than actually giving men power. It is similar to the Torah’s approach to slavery — evolutionary not revolutionary. The Torah makes slavery difficult. It makes it difficult to annul the vows of his wife and daughter, giving him but 24 hours.

* Do modern men need to man up and take charge of their households? I was raised to believe that the man has the final vote in the home. He’s the one in charge because he is more rational and less ruled by his emotions. I had this modern atheist Jewish girlfriend who said to me, “You are so afraid to set limits on me, but when you do, I’m just a meek little lamb.”

Women don’t respect it when you let them do what they want. They only respect you and only feel safe if you step up at the right times and protect them from their worst enemy — themselves. I remember I had this girlfriend who wants speaking back to the cops for giving her a ticket for letting her dog run loose in West Hollywood, and I had to calm her down and wind her down.

I tend to be way too passive and way too weak in relationships. I shy away from conflict. As a result, women think I’m a pansy. They walk all over me. They have disdain for me. Oy, I need to man up. In most interpersonal conflicts, even with men, I shy away. It is rare that I step up and make a stand.

* The Torah doesn’t like people taking on unnecessary religious restrictions. All religions tend to ascetism, to a hatred of pleasure. One of the things I appreciate about many Hasidic Jews, as opposed to the more Lithuanian strands of Judaism, is how much they enjoy life.

* Torah has guidelines for everything, even taking on ascetic practices. If you want to afflict yourself, the Torah has guidelines.

* Another point this Torah portion emphasizes is the sanctity of speech. Words are things. They matter. They have power. You can create your own halachic (Jewish law) status through vows. I am impressed when I meet someone who takes language seriously. I like people who obey the laws of proper usage aka spelling and grammar. I respect people who say what they mean and mean what they say. It’s a great guide to someone’s character. I find that the verbally slick are usually rascals. One mark of a good man is that he will take trouble with his words and be willing to be awkward to find the right meaning.

* Moshe tells the Israelites to take vengeance against Midian (Num. 31) but when they bring back women alive, he gets mad and commands that all women who’ve had sex must be slaughtered. It’s easy to read the Koran and say it is a bloodthirsty book but so is this week’s parasha.

* When Moshe commands the Jews to wipe out the Midianites, he does not say anything about making exceptions for the mentally ill. Nor does the written Torah make any exceptions for capitol punishment for the mentally ill. So this freak in New York, Levi Aron, who apparently tortured and murdered a kid, Leiby Kletzky, should fry. I don’t buy that you never execute the mentally retarded. If they are not smart enough to know that it is wrong to murder people, then why do they try to get away? Why don’t they just hang around the murder site and tell people, yeah I did it? If they don’t know murder is wrong, then that is an argument that they should be executed so they don’t murder again.

* Kosher utensils are a far greater concern of Torah (Num. 31:23) than they are of me. I gotta face it. The Torah is suspicious of the world outside of Torah and things from the outside world that want to enter the Torah world have to go through a trial by fire, including would-be converts. A big concern of Torah is keeping Jews separate from non-Jews. You can’t just say, “I need to love my neighbor as myself” and go out and bang shiksas.

* Jews are good at pointing out flaws. The Jewish tradition argues with God. The midrash finds flaws in Moshe’s behavior. Jews have often been societal revolutionaries. Jews are good at deconstructing society and finding its flaws. Most Jews are not radicals but many radicals are Jews.

* Twenty three verses on how the booty is given out. It is to make war more civilized.

* How do you deal when your email goes unanswered? I tell myself that no answer is an answer. It’s just an answer that I don’t like.

* When you hear about a rabbi dating someone half his age, do you have more or less respect for him or is your opinion unchanged? I think that when a man of 40, say, dates a woman of 20, say, it indicates that much of him is emotionally 20 years old. I’ve dated women half my age. I think it probably indicates a lack of maturity on my part. There’s a relief with dating someone your own age. Conversation is easier. Your concerns and life experiences are more similar. What do you talk about with someone half your age? Do you have any other friends half your age that you hang out with and have deep conversations?

On the other hand, I love dating women half my age. They’re not as cynical. They’re more open to learning from you. They’re not as hardened. They’re more enthusiastic about life. They’re less set in their ways. They’re better looking. They make me feel young.

There’s an old saw that when a man dates a much younger woman, it’s not so much her youth that he’s chasing but his own.

I dig how angry many women my age and older get when I date someone half my age. Many women bitterly resent this. I remember how much it upset my friend Cathy Seipp who would say the cruelest things to me about the young women I dated.

Dating is the one thing in life that most people don’t get better at as they age. They just get hardened. More cynical. More closed off.

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