According to Wikipedia: “Parental alienation is a social dynamic, generally occurring due to divorce or separation, when a child expresses unjustified hatred or unreasonably strong dislike of one parent, making access by the rejected parent difficult or impossible. These feelings may be influenced by negative comments by the other parent and by the characteristics, such as lack of empathy and warmth, of the rejected parent.”
Sara Hassman, an attorney and mother, has started a movement to work on Parental Alienation solutions.
After her divorce five years ago, Sara says her three children turned against her. “I have been allowed to see my children but they don’t want to see me. Lawyers, therapists and a psychologist told me… [about] parental alienation.”
I did the following interview with Sara via email:
* What are you trying to do with your organization? How are you going about spreading the word?
SH: I have been on the DR PHIL show which will air this fall. He wanted to know why I was exiled from a synagogue which brought this up again, recently due to his question. I guess my ex told Dr. Phil which is also why I think he is working with Sinai Temple. I also, speak, publish and do radio broadcasts.I am also cited in articles. Can see my website at www.PAlienation.org
* How have rabbis reacted?
SH: I contacted several rabbis in LA and not one will discuss it in a sermon or write about it in a bulletin. Also many National Jewish organizations in NY will not discuss it either. I have those emails if you want them. They do not seem to want to discuss child abuse which is so prevalent and really needs to be addressed in a major way.
* What was it like going on Dr Phil?
SH: The prep was fun. The actual show I had the points I wanted to make and did not let him steer me off course. I just pretended I was in a courtroom arguing a case.
I also followed up the show with some emails since they like to just gets bits and pieces of the story and not the accurate picture; despite the photos and other things they had. We will see how it airs in the fall.
Again, my focus is to find out why I was exiled from public and private events [at Sinai Temple] almost a year ago & they still have not given me an explanation.
* Have you had personal experience with parental alienation?
SH: Luke, When I and other parents whose children have parental alienation syndrome and have alienated their loving parent from their life, go to see a psychologist, psychiatrist and other experts and explain our symptoms and what has been going on, they then ask questions. Then, they tell us these is parental alienation and the reasons why. Just like any other type of medical appointments, the doctor looks at the symptoms and makes a diagnosis.
But, with therapy, you see the behaviors being played out. Your doctor will tell you to expect the alienating parent and child to behave a certain way and then sure enough they do. They you have to learn how to cope with it.
This is why I only now need therapy on an “as needed” basis since I can predict their behaviors and have learned how to cope.
Here are some videos on parental alienation:
Sara Hassman wrote on Facebook last night:
As the President asked the Nation the other night;
“What kind of world would we live in if the United States of America sees a dictator brazenly violate international law with poison gas and we choose to look the other way?”
Accordingly, …what do Rabbis, other Jewish leaders and Jewish organizations STAND FOR since:
1) Decades ago in the 1970’s; when Rabbi Gerald Wolpe realized a teenage girl’s future emotional health was a concern because she was being controlled by her powerful and wealthy, but dysfunctional and abusive divorced father who succeeded in getting her to alienate her loving divorced mother and her mother’s relatives;
2) But Jewish Leaders and organization refused to acknowledge this abuse and fervently and passionately address it. (bestseller; The New Rabbi by Stephen Fried; Chapter 2).
3) Today, Jewish Leaders and organizations still refuse to acknowledge and address this mental child abuse called parental alienation as explained below. The destruction of the sacred, loving parent/child bond which is the cause of these concerns usually, but not always, begins at the time of divorce and may never end.
To clearly illustrate the depraved values of many Jews and their leaders; (btw, I am Jewish and disgusted beyond words).
It is a disgrace that with all of their resources, in over forty years or so, Jewish leaders and organizations have not spoken or written about this emotional concern affecting children stemming from this child abuse called parental alienation.
It occurs when the loving, sacred parent/child bond is intentionally destroyed by a controlling parent who is narcissistic and has various other personality disorders.
Also, the Jewish leaders and organizations have not even cared enough about the well-being of Jewish children to make sure this abusive behavior of the controlling, dysfunctional parent is acknowledged, addressed, not tolerated but seriously repudiated.
As a result of the Jewish community in the United States and worldwide CHOOSING to look the other way and tolerate this abuse; it has risen to an epidemic level since the 1970’s affecting the emotional, psychological and physical well-being of millions of children, Jewish and of other religious denominations.
Millions of these abused children, have become wrought with problems of depression, addiction, self-esteem, lacking the ability to trust, clearly define truth from lies as they try to cope with the sudden destruction of the loving relationship they had for years. Now they have been brainwashed to hate, fear and alienate their loving, caring parent, based on lies told to them by their manipulative, abusive, narcissistic parent who usually has other personality disorders and those this parent has enlisted to help with this abuse like teachers, doctors, lawyers, accountants, friends and others.
Many of these abused children also internalize the shame resulting from what they have done to their loving parent. This often causes them to become angry, act out in violent ways towards others and even themselves. Some of these abused children even commit suicide to escape the pain.
They know if they associate with their alienated parent, their controlling parent who has narcissistic and other personality disorders will cause many problems for them.
This child abuse is happening in YOUR backyard whether you realize it or not. It is also experienced by millions of foster children, military families and many others across a wide range of financial, ethnic and other cultural divides.
Most seriously, if this abuse or brainwashing is not effectively addressed by helping these children understand that they were taught to hate or fear their loving, alienated parent based on lies and schemes so their dysfunctional, abusive parent could control them;
Then these children, themselves, will grow up and brainwash their own children and teach them to alienate their loving parent for control too. These abused children will also not be capable of love. Instead, like their abusive parent, they will use others for their own selfish needs and lie, cheat and steal to accomplish their harmful, abusive objectives.
To make matters worse, commonly, this child abuse is not only limited to parental alienation, but leads to other forms of child abuse since; This controlling, dysfunctional, parent as shown by many psychologists, is incapable of love and only uses the children as pawns or toys for selfish, deplorable needs.
These experts have shown that this is the truth even though you many not want to face it, help bring awareness to this child abuse called parental alienation so we can begin to empower the children and end it or seriously diminish its occurrence.
Unless the Jewish leaders and organizations address this child abuse, the next generation will be a society filled with unloving, abusive, bullying people who will lie, cheat and steal to get their way. This lying and bullying behavior is common today, but it will become much worse in future generations unless we start teaching our children respect, kindness and civility.