Most Alexander Technique teachers are kind and considerate. They enjoy devoting themselves to a helping profession. They’re rarely provocateurs.
What happened to me? What has the Alexander Technique done for me? I’m obviously an odd ball in the profession.
I’m much calmer since my Alexander lessons, hmm, perhaps it doesn’t come across!
It’s like I have taken a chill pill and then decided to let it rip nonetheless, but with a tad more freedom and less compulsion.
I still feel driven to provoke.
I tried for a while to keep things chill to get along with the AT community but then I just gave up on that and decided to do my own thing.
I badly wanted to teach the Technique but I tried so hard and had so little success, that I decided I’d go back to saying what I wanted and damn the consequences.
I don’t speak this way in the classroom or in connection with the Technique.
I’m very much unfinished, in every way, including with the AT.
I find myself getting up at 2 am to check if I’ve lost a FB friend (many block or unfriend me for obvious reasons). I have an anxious attachment style.
It took AT for me to learn to say to myself, “I’m going to be gentle with myself this weekend.” I’m awkwardly learning to be a better friend to myself.
All attempts to see myself professionally as anything other than a writer has not worked. They just don’t take.