She Feels Disconnected From Judaism

I was talking to a frum-from-birth friend the other day who feel "disconnected" from Judaism.

She’s not davening every day, she’s not saying blessings all the time when she eats, she’s not learning Torah regularly and she’s not attending shul regularly.

How can you possibly feel connected to Judaism when you don’t do it? Judaism is simple in that respect. You learn what to do and you do it and by doing it, you feel connected to God, Torah and your fellow Jews.

I have various female friends who have all sorts of negative feelings about Judaism yet they want to be connected to it. I want to say to them, "There are a lot of things in this respect more important than your feelings. If you are angry at Jewish law or at certain rabbis or certain synagogues or certain Jewish communities or how your Chabad community reacted to your parents divorce, that’s something you should work out with your therapist. You shouldn’t let that come between you and the amazing Jewish offerings of Pico-Robertson (or your local Jewish community). If you want to be part of the Jewish community, then do the work."

I don’t say this because telling a woman there are more important things than her feelings is usually not worth the aggravation (though it is one of the gifts in life that men can give women).

If you want to convert to Judaism, it is not formidable. It takes less than one-quarter the effort than getting a bacherlor’s degree.

If you are set on joining the Jewish people, no one can stop you. Not even Rabbi Avrohom Union.

Joe emails: "I think a lot of people are disconnected from Judaism right now, especially those who grew up Orthodox. There has been a lot of negative change, the sociology is very different now. Once, study and prayer was in Hebrew, now everything is in ArtScroll English. The thinking is different, much more infested with right wing politics in the US, and much less concern for Israel than there was once (that latter is a big change)."


About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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