For more than four years, I have been going to 12-step rooms for my various emotional addictions. I’ve noticed that you can usually tell where someone is in his recovery by his body language. Those in the throes of addiction are distraught, slumped, tense, defeated, racked by anxiety, fear and pain. Those is recovery tend to be buoyant, happy, and upward directed.
I notice that resentment always manifests in added muscular tension. You can gauge how much resentment someone is carrying just by looking at him. A resentful person is locked and loaded in their body, their neck and back and face are tight. They’re like a loaded gun, ready to go off at any time.
About three years ago, I worked the 12 Steps and was able to let go of all conscious resentment. I still get mad at times, but this rarely lasts more than a few minutes. I use my brief bouts of anger as a fuel to take action to protect myself, to overcome my passive nature (the result of nearly 30 years of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), but my anger never lasts more than a day. As a result of not holding a grudge against anyone, I have more freedom in my body, my thinking and my soul. Most of the time these days, I am happy, joyous and free.
