Daniel Webster Is Arguing With The Devil Over My Soul In My Chat Room

Wholesome fun for the whole family!

xptisgay:  good lord, luke
YourMoralLeader:  yo
xptisgay:  are you butt nekkid?
TIMESUP:  ooooh my tming is perfect lukeee
xptisgay:  luke, have you ever been to cam4.com?
YourMoralLeader:  no
xptisgay:  they do have a few non-sex cams
guest88:  ffs u ever going to shave?
xptisgay:  he’s going to audition for Geico caveman
TIMESUP:  hmmmm our luke is not at all as we he appears
xptisgay:  this guy still doesn’t have a job, right?
YourMoralLeader:  i babysit
xptisgay:  fair enough
xptisgay:  I was a bum for years myself
guest88:  needs to tidy his room
TIMESUP:   yeah what age group
xptisgay:  my sister is a maid, I could send her over
YourMoralLeader:  can we xchange services?
TIMESUP:   senior r junour
xptisgay:  that would be up to her, I guess
TIMESUP:  him her
xptisgay:  you might have to put up a few hundred for airfare
guest88:  u got the wet hair look going on Luke?
TIMESUP:  jesus thats enough rising luke boy
xptisgay:  luke rising
TIMESUP:   gee darlin hes sweatin
xptisgay:  luke, I was trying to find an ass shot of Vannessa Del Rio
xptisgay:  would you have one handy?
TIMESUP:   choking
guest88:  whata the signifigance of the little hat on ya head luke, why do u wear it?
xptisgay:  I tried to take my gf in college to a Vennesa Del Rio appearance, but she chickened out at the door of the XXX theatre
guest88:  yes i know that but why do they wear them?
xptisgay:  it only matters to the Turks
xptisgay:  kosher pizza?
guest88:  spunk rag?
xptisgay:  repeat please
xptisgay:  there is a kosjher pizza joint in Chicago
xptisgay:  maybe moore
xptisgay:  jez
xptisgay:  can I say that?
guest88:  it appears u can lol
xptisgay:  this Jewish girl got mad at me because I referred to Jesus of Naz as Jesus Christ
xptisgay:  goddam Hellinized b**ch
guest88:  mr webster
DanielWebster:  I have come to advocate for the soul of Luke Ford
xptisgay:  you are getting into the Bananarama lately
guest88:  where u been last few days luke?
DanielWebster:  When Satan arrives in this chat room, I will present my case.
xptisgay:  get any good stock picks late, Luke?
xptisgay:  IBM was up big after-hours
guest88:  webby u a weirdo?
DanielWebster:  "88" is a curious appellation
xptisgay:  it’s random, I think
DanielWebster:  I know that certain extremist groups use it to stand for the letters "HH"
xptisgay:  not HH unless he changed it to that
guest88:  u flirting with me?
xptisgay:  oh sure
DanielWebster:  But that does not preclude innocent use of it.
xptisgay:  88 keys in a piano too
xptisgay:  sure
TIMESUP:   the oiche ( NIGHT ) surely brings out the weeeros..
xptisgay:  I was b**ching out some guy on YouTube who has it in his handle
xptisgay:  he was a silly savage
DanielWebster:  Has Satan quit?
xptisgay:  Satan is at Happy Hour
DanielWebster:  Has his Succubus abandoned her mission?
DanielWebster:  I saw many a mitzvah tank today.
DanielWebster:  What is there Pico-Robertson?
xptisgay:  upscale Jews?
xptisgay:  or Orthodox
YourMoralLeader:  Torah Jews, savage
DanielWebster:  Upscale, God-fearing.
xptisgay:  I don’t know much about LA Jewry
xptisgay:  rich ones are in Highland Park
DanielWebster:  Jews who mix money and Maimonides
DanielWebster:  Where do your poor Jews live?
xptisgay:  also in Hyde Park
User guest88 changed their name to WELDHDRAGON.
DanielWebster:  Hyde Park is surrounded by savages.
xptisgay:  orthodox are in west rogers park
DanielWebster:  I see in this man Luke a poor Jew.
xptisgay:  yeah, but he’s a convery
DanielWebster:  But a man who is rich in social connections: friends, family, etc.
xptisgay:  Luke would live in Hyde Park for sure
DanielWebster:  Hyde Park is not inviting.
xptisgay:  there aren’t too many aussies in Chicago
YourMoralLeader:  where are there lots of black people in chicago?
guest92:  lincoln park is nicer
xptisgay:  I must be stones spelling like that
xptisgay:  I am from Lincoln Park originally
DanielWebster:  South Side, West Side
xptisgay:  but from the Richard Speck era
DanielWebster:  All around the town
YourMoralLeader:  South Side is how I roll
xptisgay:  that’s where I am
xptisgay:  I’ll meet you for chicken and waffles
DanielWebster:  Once, the sons of Abraham ruled the South Side of Chicago.  This was the time of Leopold and Loeb
DanielWebster:  Then came the great migration
xptisgay:  and the Italians
xptisgay:  the Chinese are taking over
DanielWebster:  Chinese?  Which neighborhoods?
xptisgay:  Chinatown, oddly enough
User guest92 left the room.
xptisgay:  but moving into Armour Square, Bridgeport, etc.
DanielWebster:  China is absorbing the world.
xptisgay:  buying a lot of proprty
xptisgay:  those suckers will buy anything
DanielWebster:  From Russia to American, their tight family structure and genetics are overrunning the rest of the world.
xptisgay:  crap townhouses built against the 24/7 railroad tracks
DanielWebster:  Mister Ford, it seems that the menace has receded.
xptisgay:  luke, where do you live?
DanielWebster:  But Satan often chooses not to quit.
User TIMESUP changed their name to FBI.
xptisgay:  in the valley?
xptisgay:  I used to live in Burbank
xptisgay:  I’m glad that the Mexicans chased out the white trash
xptisgay:  ever been to Hughes Market?
User guest91 left the room.
xptisgay:  did you ever see J. Edgar Hoover in a dress?
User DanielWebster left the room.
FBI:  ASS…………………………….
xptisgay:  the social event of the week in Burbank used to be the latest episode of Dukes of Hazzard
DanielWebster:  I see that draught in Australia is causing the price or rice to rice across the globe.
xptisgay:  I’m familiar with spelling
xptisgay:  rice used to be a dead contract at the Chicago Board of Trade
DanielWebster:  drought
xptisgay:  you could buy a rice seat for $300
User WELSHDRAGON left the room.
xptisgay:  used to trade in new Orleans
DanielWebster:  Have you completed the cleansing operations that your faith requires, Mr. Ford?
YourMoralLeader:  tomorrow
xptisgay:  FBI, you might learn something
DanielWebster:  When does your holiday commence?
YourMoralLeader:  Hi Nina
NinaHartly:  hi Luke
xptisgay:  wow
NinaHartly:  how are you
DanielWebster:  Nina Hartly, I know about you
xptisgay:  Ashley Blue will be here soon
DanielWebster:  Years ago, I read the interview you gave to that rag
NinaHartly:  I’m naked right now
xptisgay:  cool, I’m wearing socks
NinaHartly:  I’m wearing shoes and a hat
xptisgay:  like that Frog on UPN
xptisgay:  altho I don’t think that he had shoes
NinaHartly:  Luke, do you remeber my movie Wet Pink
NinaHartly: can you get me to speak in your orthodox temple
NinaHartly: I posed the info about when I spoke at a different temple
NinaHartly: there was a jewish jornal article
NinaHartly: did you click on that link
NinaHartly: can you talk to your connections and get em to speak at the temple you go to
YourMoralLeader: no
NinaHartly: can you plull the strings so no one will you know you arranged it
NinaHartly: I think the orthodox have a lot to learn from me speaking at their temple
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  lukester .. what up homey!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  the hair .. one word — comb!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  ok .. two words .. comb and brush
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  and the beard … have you ever heard of the "don johnson trimmer" they were really popular when Miami Vice was hot!
guest96:  I didn’t think Orthodox Jews believed in heaven
guest62:  Only hell
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  btw.. in other news .. LA mag will printing a correction about that fluff Mirthala story .. they got a lot wrong in the story . but hey it was a fluff piece .. so they don’t care…
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  call me if you want the deets ..
guest62:  I daven twice as hard
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  I got to bloggerelbow.com!
YourMoralLeader:  what’s your # mirtha?
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  sorry only tony knows that
YourMoralLeader:  call me!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  ok .. but first I must find you the "don johnson" trimmer pic (this is true!)
guest62:  Sandra Tsing Lo has an interesting piece on public schools in the Atlantic Monthly
guest62:  But she tastes not the glory of blogging.
guest62:  Also, these goyim shave off all their hair down there as well.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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