Join the conversation and prepare for Passover right. I’ll kasher your dishes live on my cam (I’m doing a virtual seder for shut-ins on April 17):
guest112: You may all sit down. Today’s question, as presented on another board is this: do you expect the women you are intimate with to shave themselves about the birth canal?
guest112: Apparently, among women under 35, this is now a given.
guest9: i never heard of this…why…???
guest112: I argue on Rabbinical grounds that this is a correct practice for women to follow around Pesach, as luxuriant hair there might otherwise be a hiding place for bread crumbs.
guest9: i thought it was buried treasure not chometz
guest112: So, better to shave it all off, as part of making a home kosher for passover
ToTheSea: They do (literally) what they need to do to secure a husband and then once that’s done…
GUAPO: what it do luke
GUAPO: what it do emma
Emma: Hey Guapo
GUAPO: you in love with luke emma
GUAPO: you just like to conversate
Emma: How are you?
GUAPO: im real good emma
GUAPO: thank you for askin
GUAPO: how you?
Emma: Fine thanks
User ragheadali left the room.
GUAPO: you and luke gonna go on a date?
Emma: Are you and Luke gonna go on a date?
GUAPO: me and courtney cumz is though
GUAPO: once look hook it up
Emma: Good luck with that
GUAPO: what kinda computer you got em
Emma: I’m using a laptop
GUAPO: hold on yall can we have a momnet of silence for frosty freeze
Emma: Frosty Freeze?
GUAPO: ok resume
GUAPO: yeah frosty freeze dead today
Emma: Who was he then?
Emma: or she?
GUAPO: he gonna break dance in heaven from now on
Emma: I see
GUAPO: emma how about me you and courtney cumz? you in?
Emma: lol No thanks
GUAPO: no hurt in asking
GUAPO: i winder why luke pretend to talk on the phone but make no noise
Emma: lol he has no sound
GUAPO: luke playing mind tricks
GUAPO: howdy luke
GUAPO: what it do son
GUAPO: luke stomach appear to hurt
YourMoralLeader: hi emma
Emma: Hey..you ok?
YourMoralLeader: yes, doing difficult work for mossad
YourMoralLeader: dangerous and top secret
YourMoralLeader: we may never see each other again
GUAPO: bin laden gonna come after you
Emma: Hope not
GUAPO: what you cant tell your boy hello?
YourMoralLeader: Emma, this may be our last time together. Let’s make it meaningful. Please take off your top.
YourMoralLeader: thank you, looking good, honey.
Emma: No problem Luke
Emma: Your turn
GUAPO: 976 aint top secret work
Emma: Hey Catherine
GUAPO: hi cat
cavaliera: hello catherine
YourMoralLeader: Emma’s keeping my baby. Papa don’t preach.
GUAPO: wanna go on a date?
catherine: guapo where are you from
GUAPO: mile high city
catherine: wheres that
GUAPO: ask luke
catherine: guapo whats your real name
catherine: i come from the scottish borders
GUAPO: mm i like scottish borders
catherine: is time you had a shave
YourMoralLeader: don’t preach
guest28: G’day, son. It’s your dear old dad popping in. I see you’re still playing dress-up Jew and listening to fair-dinkum homosexual music.
YourMoralLeader: Yes dad
guest28: I should have throttled you with your own umbilical cord, mate.
YourMoralLeader: that hurts, dad
guest28: when you dropped out of the womb mewling and puking, it was a sign of worse things to come.
YourMoralLeader: I’m sorry I let you down, dad.
guest28: look at your self-satisfied, schizophrenic smirk. you make me sick.
YourMoralLeader: What should I do?
guest28: Kill yourself.
YourMoralLeader: Would that make you happy?
User guest30 left the room.
cavaliera: go away 28!
YourMoralLeader: I thought that was against the Bible, Rev. Des?
GUAPO: some real eveil people in this world
guest28: There’s exceptions to every rule, sonny Jim.
GUAPO: why hate?
YourMoralLeader: Dad, I want you to meet my future bride and the mother of my eight kids — Emma.
YourMoralLeader: Emma, this is my father Rev. Des.
guest28: steal any more Cocoa Krispies from the homeless this week, ya miserable layabout?
Emma: Hey dad
YourMoralLeader: Not this week, dad.
GUAPO: ba burg in rare form today
catherine: what are you doing to your music
guest28: If I had been there, I would have marched you starightaway to the corner store and made you buy DOUBLE of what you stole…and then I would have force-fed you a fair-dikum cane toad.
guest28: And then I would have smashed your gob with aa cricket bat, you ponce.
YourMoralLeader: Don’t you think I am your fault, dad?
guest28: look at my pansy son c**king his head like a kookaburra. he’s so well-pleased with his own misbehavior.
guest28: there you again, refusing to take responsibility for your sorry self.
YourMoralLeader: Emma, dad’s got a soft underneath his hard exterior.
YourMoralLeader: Dad, Emma and I want your blessing on our marriage. We’d like you to officiate with a rabbi. Is that cool?
GUAPO: im gonna bounce tall just too hateful
cavaliera: congratulations…luke and emma!
guest28: You listen to me, sunny Jim, you wouldn’t be laughing if I were there. You’d cower and quail like you’ve always done…and the I’d find Holly Randall, load her bum and vaginaa with fresh, Vitamin-D enricched milk, grab some ANZAC biscuits and have a go.
guest28: She’s know it too, by cracky.
guest28: You’re a ponce.
guest28: And your fake Jewry fools no one.
cavaliera: you are really full of crazy words!
guest28: Poor Avraham Union. He haad the good sense to throw you out of the RCC conversion program, but you try to cast an ill-light on him. Shame on you.
guest28: The shame i feel every day when I think I spawned a worthless drone like you.
Emma: It’s getting boring now 28
guest28: Let’s get down to brass tacks, you whingeing little creep.
guest28: You were thrown out of the RCC conversion program because you are a fake and an anti-Semite.
YourMoralLeader: yeah, but aside from that?
guest28: and Holly Randall’s bum is as big as all outdoors!
guest28: It’s a sad day when a father can’t bear to look at his own son. That day is today. i’ve got to bugger off before I lose my Vegemite and cheese. Piss off, you pansy!
Emma: Some people know too much about you
Luke must be out celebrating MLK Day
KhunDiddy: helping elderly Afro American ladies to cross the street
guest112: This is what happens when Emma leaves
guest112: You need to go over there and knock her up ASAP
guest112: Also, forbid her to go to school or read papers and books.
guest112: Knowledge is power, and power is the last thing you want her to have
guest112: Pregnant, that is your goal
guest112: Send me a pic of her
guest112: I am curous.
guest112: Not sexual, as I have no such urges any more
guest112: I am like the Holy Father in Rome
guest112: This Madonna music is disgusting
guest112: Among males, love of her music is a marker for homosexuality
guest112: Have you gotten your truck back?
guest57: Hey Luke, how is it going?
guest112: WHERE ARE THE WHITE WOMEN?
RussianDragon: he hides them under his desk
guest112: Did you get a paint job to go with the new engine?
guest112: I say you hire a bunch of latino taggers to give your van an authe
RussianDragon: where is emma
guest112: I was just about to ask that.
guest112: Perhaps her father caught wind of what she was doing online
RussianDragon: maybe she is delivering the first of their 8 babies
RussianDragon: push push emma
YourMoralLeader: she’s coming
RussianDragon: oh look the baby looks like russiandragon
RussianDragon: I BET SHE IS
guest112: Luke, she might be underage
RussianDragon: she is older then 12
Emma: How was the interview?
YourMoralLeader: encoding and uploading it now
YourMoralLeader: how was your day, emma?
Emma: Was good. I had half day in college, and went horse riding after
guest57: what college do you go to emma?
Emma: Not far from where I live…
guest57: whats the name of the school?
Emma: Lol don’t worrie, you don’t know me
guest57: what are you munching on, luke?
guest57: you just eat and dont offer
guest57: how come you dont offer us some of that?
Emma: Lol because it’s a chat room?
YourMoralLeader: peanut butter on raisin bread
guest57: that sounds good
Emma: What music is that Luke?
guest57: hey luke, do you have to pay to have your camera broadcasted on this website?
Emma: It’s free
guest57: is that true luke?
guest68: wanna razor?
guest68: anyone got a sense of humour here>?
Emma: Whos telling the jokes?
guest68: aaawww thats better. cute smile
guest69: I like this number and I’m sticking to it!!!!!!!
guest68: where you leading us YML?
guest68: to hell?
guest68: up a gum tree?
guest68: you got fingers YML? theres a keyboard you know!!!
guest68: clickerty click
guest68: yeah good
RussianDragon: idle fingers doing the devils bidding
guest68: i was right about hell then!!
RussianDragon: can you smell the sulfur
guest68: mmmmmmm growing horns as we speak
guest68: I am satans bride
RussianDragon: you mean horny
guest68: lol RD
RussianDragon: he is a cult leader
guest68: I am waiting to be lead.
User Cheeselikesubstance changed their name to FistofMikeAlbo.
guest68: up the garden path?
Emma: What you up too this weekend Russian?
User guest71 changed their name to noname.
RussianDragon: inticing young beautiful girls in his wed of deceit
noname: hi all
RussianDragon: hi noname
Emma: hey noname
FistofMikeAlbo: wed of deceit huh?
FistofMikeAlbo: thats rich
guest68: how nice. im a young beautiful girl. awaiting my fate
User RussianDragon changed their name to Lolita.
Lolita: you’d better change your name 68
YourMoralLeader: Emma, you’re pushing me over the borderline
Lolita: he prefers nice names
Lolita: like emma
User FistofMikeAlbo changed their name to ElazarMushkin.
Lolita: and genice
Emma: I’m trying to make conversation
Lolita: and sarah
Emma: It’s not working
ElazarMushkin: Luke, do you have a minute? I need a word with you.
Lolita: to whome emma
User G69 left the room.
Lolita: oh well i’ll talk to you
Emma: But if I said, Im gonna go on cam and strip
Emma: Hmmm id make conversation then
noname: they all love that emma
Lolita: i bet you would
guest68: cool website YML. just had a look
ElazarMushkin: You should go on cam and strip emma. I’d expect no less
Lolita: mm better not
User guest68 left the room.
Lolita: we could get distracted
YourMoralLeader: Rabbi Muskin, yes?
Lolita: and i don’t write well with one hand
User Lolita changed their name to RussianDragon.
Emma: Teardrop on the fire
ElazarMushkin: I am greatly disappointed in you Luke.
RussianDragon: you singing emma
ElazarMushkin: Not only did you deceive me before. I invited you into my own home.
ElazarMushkin: For Passover no less. You shared it with my own family.
RussianDragon: hi elazar
ElazarMushkin: And now this. This this "existence" you are leading
YourMoralLeader: I’m sorry
ElazarMushkin: using the interweb to ensnare mentally deficient yet nubile females
RussianDragon: so what r u up to in the weekend emma
YourMoralLeader: I’m giving all I can. You got the best of me!
YourMoralLeader: you keep on pushing my love over the borderline
ElazarMushkin: You’ve gone from writing about the porn to appearing in your own sick version of pornography
guest73: he shames us all
YourMoralLeader: Sorry rabbi, will you let me back in your shul?
Emma: We cant hear the song Luke
ElazarMushkin: Not the shul Luke, I can never allow that. But someday, maybe, I’ll let you back into my heart
YourMoralLeader: rabbi, help me
YourMoralLeader: be the Torah Jew I know I can be
ElazarMushkin: Don’t you see His works in the world around you?
ElazarMushkin: God is love
RussianDragon: it’s too late luke
coronzon: beras**t bera elohim hathar shamane va atar aretz
ElazarMushkin: I will Luke, but first you need to get a job, even if it’s in a kosher deli, and show me four consecutive paystubs
YourMoralLeader: Emma, you must be my lucky star
RussianDragon: yeah i said that yesterday to my jewish barber
Emma: Your mine
YourMoralLeader: how’s your shul rabbi?
YourMoralLeader: you got any scoop for me?
ElazarMushkin: I fear for the shul
ElazarMushkin: Its fabric is rent
YourMoralLeader: how so?
catherine: what are you eating
ElazarMushkin: the chasm caused by your expulsion festers like a boil on a gentiles ass
RussianDragon: was that his tongue
RussianDragon: where has that organ been
catherine: emma are you going out with luke
Emma: Not yet
RussianDragon: is he comming to irelang
catherine: emma why arent you there with him
Emma: I don’t have wings
YourMoralLeader: Emma makes me feel like a virgin
YourMoralLeader: Yes, you do, honey. You’re an angel.
catherine: well you can stay with him
Emma: That was a good one
YourMoralLeader: Her — is out of this world.
Emma: He hasn’t seen my —–
catherine: what is the missing word for
RussianDragon: you make me feel shiny and new
catherine: is that what you are luke a virgin
ElazarMushkin: Luke if we consider allowing you a place in the shul can you even afford it?
YourMoralLeader: Yes rabbi, mind lending me the money?
YourMoralLeader: I’m good for it
catherine: i bet you are
ElazarMushkin: We still are willing to set up a payment schedule
RussianDragon: i’m going to my bed
catherine: i am looking for a boyfriend any out there
YourMoralLeader: OK, rabbi, can I go to daf yomi tomorrow morning?
YourMoralLeader: I’ll show them this chat transcript to Rabbi Etshalom
ElazarMushkin: In chesed, yes
YourMoralLeader: Baruch HaShem, rabbi, I owe you one. I’m sorry for all the tsuris I’ve caused you and the shul. I’ll be a good boy now.
YourMoralLeader: You’ll never have to spank me again.
ElazarMushkin: I’ll come by and pick you up
YourMoralLeader: Thank you
YourMoralLeader: 8 am
ElazarMushkin: 7:45. traffic is terrible
ElazarMushkin: don’t let me check the cam at 7:30 and find you staring apishly into the screen and still not dressed
YourMoralLeader: I promise.
catherine: where are yous going at 8 olclock
catherine: whats that mean
alexanderthegreat: yorkshire infants cricket club
ElazarMushkin: It’s Young Israel of Century City
alexanderthegreat: of course it is
ElazarMushkin: its the shul in which I am "TheMoralLeader". as opposed to this chatroom, where Luke is YourMoralLeader
alexanderthegreat: there are 2 leaders ???
YourMoralLeader: Thank you rabbi, I feel like there’s been a great healing today.
YourMoralLeader: Let’s all hug
alexanderthegreat: get this bloody song off
ElazarMushkin: There there my son. Let’s not move in haste. The wounds are deep
ElazarMushkin: Now I must go.
alexanderthegreat: ah phew thats better
ElazarMushkin: Back to your regularly scheduled programming- I am sure you are busily educating these young minds.
cavaliera: you are looking tired luke
Emma: I’m going away for the weekend
guest78: take your laptop
YourMoralLeader: Normally I make you excited Emma, what happened?
Emma: I need to see something different than whats outside my window
YourMoralLeader: girls just wanna have fun
guest112: Emma….EmmaEmmaline, prettiest girl I ever seen
cavaliera: yes emma…then you can choose…yourself
cavaliera: 112….seems to like you emma
Emma: I dunno who he is
guest112: I’m full of WOWW. The extra "W" is for extra "WOWW"
guest112: The impact of that beard would be greater if you gave yourself a buzzcut
Emma: Someone is making him smile lol
YourMoralLeader: only you
guest112: Emma, what naughty things are you pming to Luke
YourMoralLeader: You also make me sneeze
cavaliera: thats a good thing emma 🙂
mrx: nice music man
Emma: That I make him sneeze?
guest112: Luke, at this rate, in another five years you will be dating fetuses.
guest112: I love the bubblegum pop muic
Emma: Luke why do I make you sneeze?
guest112: Get a room you two!
cavaliera: hope he isn`t allergic to you lol
Emma: He must be
YourMoralLeader: I don’t know Emma, I wish I did. My body has reactions to you that I can’t control.
YourMoralLeader: I told my rabbi that.
Emma: And what did he say?
YourMoralLeader: He said to make some money so I could fly you over.
YourMoralLeader: and he could inspect you.
Emma: lol Inspect me
YourMoralLeader: I meant convert you.
Emma: Oh dear
guest112: I’m Luke’s official virtue inspector
guest112: Call me Inspector V
Emma: Convert me
YourMoralLeader: We need to make sure you’re a virgin.
YourMoralLeader: Like Princess Di
Emma: Why ?
guest112: I will use a special probe to test for this
guest112: Luke trusts me
Emma: Leave princess diana out of this
YourMoralLeader: That way I won’t have performance anxiety.
RevDesmondFord: your limp, weak little retorts mean NOTHING, boy!
YourMoralLeader: Dad, what did you expect from me?
YourMoralLeader: You seem disappointed and a tad angry and violent. This is not the Christian way.
RevDesmondFord: I sure didn’t expect you to grow up to drink from a jug of urine, mate!
RevDesmondFord: Just look at your pathetic little CHAT ROOM! Rife with retards and anti-Semites! Oh, you must be fair-dinkum proud of yourself, ya snot!
RevDesmondFord: your grotesque appearance puts me off my breakfast, it does.
RevDesmondFord: No more Vegemite and cheese for me, today.
RevDesmondFord: I just heard from your brother Paul.
RevDesmondFord: He considers you a ponce, as well.
Tammy: What is a ponce?
RevDesmondFord: as does his Oriental wife.
Tammy: This music is gay
RevDesmondFord: and their half-breed children.
Tammy: This is gay dance music
KhunDiddy: See ya’ later gang..the misus wants to walk down to the local "Half Price Books"
RevDesmondFord: It’s a good thing the Jewish people are not fooled by your smirking, prancing little charade.
guest99: lets get everyone Rev……….. you go Ford!
RevDesmondFord: only a handful of disenfranchised, moronic Internet dweebs buy into your act. You are going straight down the tubes, boy!
RevDesmondFord: How does it taste?
Tammy: It’s my mom’s music
guest99: he professes to be orthodox in his latest venture
RevDesmondFord: Well chuffed, are you?
guest99: howerve he grew up in Desmonds house
RevDesmondFord: I’ll straighten that out with one crack to the jaw, mate.
YourMoralLeader: My mental health diary
guest99: in Austrailia
RevDesmondFord: been attacked by any porn stars lately, mate?
guest99: where the good rev was an evangelic hell and brim preacher man!
RevDesmondFord: SPEAK UP, BOY!
Tammy: Your dad is mean to you
RevDesmondFord: straighten out that posture!
Tammy: You should defend yourself
RevDesmondFord: there is NO defense for my sorry son.
RevDesmondFord: that’s right, tap at your ergonomic keyboard. still pretending to be a writer, I see.
RevDesmondFord: how are your SELF-PUBLISHED books doing, pansy?
Tammy: My Mom would totally go for you
Tammy: Would you date my aunt?
Tammy: She’s around your age, and she rocks.
Tammy: Never married, no kids
Tammy: You two would look cute together.
RevDesmondFord: Sickening. Just absolutely sickening. Next time try throwing in some Yiddish words to make yourself seem Jewish – though you are NOT and NEVER WILL BE.
RevDesmondFord: Sammy Davis, Jr. was more of a Jew than you’ll ever be.
YourMoralLeader: That schvartze?
RevDesmondFord: you’re useless, boy.
YourMoralLeader: What line of work should I go into, dad?
RevDesmondFord: incapable of formulating any defense.
RevDesmondFord: KILL YOURSELF.
YourMoralLeader: I have none. You read me too clearly.
RevDesmondFord: miserable little faggot.
YourMoralLeader: Thank you for the gift of your feedback.
YourMoralLeader: I know it comes from love, you homo.
Tammy: RevDesmondFord, you are not Luke’s dad. So who are you, a fake?
Tammy: I hate fakes
cavaliera: why don`t you ban him luke?
YourMoralLeader: Mike comes from a good place.
cavaliera: listen to crap like this
RevDesmondFord: You whingeing little sodomite.
YourMoralLeader: Ooh, gay bashing!
YourMoralLeader: How did you feel when I came out of the closet, dad?
RevDesmondFord: You are a closet anti-Semite.
RevDesmondFord: and a blatant homosexual.
YourMoralLeader: You’re more subtle about yours, dad.
RevDesmondFord: attention-craving, amoral and utterly unredeemable.
Tammy: Why save up all that mucus on that rag?
YourMoralLeader: I learned it all from you dad.
Tammy: That’s an old guy move.
RevDesmondFord: that’s right: don’t take responsibility for yourself, boy. That’s always been your way.
Tammy: Younger guys never have hankies. They use tissue paper
RevDesmondFord: preening and grinning like a psychopath.
RevDesmondFord: UNION WAS RIGHT.
Tammy: Luke, defend yourself!
User guest104 left the room.
User RevDesmondFord left the room.
RavAronTendler: I saw your Abner story
RavAronTendler: I wonder who got more woman, him or me
YourMoralLeader: Aron, you did all right
fukelord: good deal
YourMoralLeader: The Talmud says: Who is the rich man?
fukelord: Warren Buffet
YourMoralLeader: He who is content with the # of ladies he boffed.
RavAronTendler: Luke you are welcome to come to Sharey Tzedek
YourMoralLeader: Thank you Rav
GUAPO: i boffed 32 b**ches
YourMoralLeader: Could you get your friend Avrohom Union and Rabbi Moshe Cohen from Aish in here?
RavAronTendler: I spoke ot Rav Rosenberg about you and he’s ok with you coming there
fukelord: but all those XPT are still jealous that you dated Holly Randall
GUAPO: im not jealous cause for real holly racist
RavAronTendler: Luke, according to your sources, who got laid more, me or Abner
YourMoralLeader: You, Rav Aron.
YourMoralLeader: got the younger stuff too
fukelord: Holly’s cute, but those guys get worked up like a bunch of fanboys
RavAronTendler: how do I compare to how often you got it on
fukelord: I’m in love with her mom anyway
YourMoralLeader: You got more and younger
GUAPO: luke say i go away for like 18- 24 months… will you still be on chat when i return?
fukelord: luke, what is the age of the oldest women with whom you’ve had sex?
TheAdmiral: Luke how long do you plan on growing your beard?
YourMoralLeader: Kitten Natividad, she was 52, I was 28
fukelord: are you serious?
YourMoralLeader: but she was famous!
fukelord: I loved her in that Russ Myers film