I’m Getting Skewered!

From my live cam:

guest9: Typical of my ponce of a lad! Whinging about his financial state but dilly-dallying about the computuer like the fair-dinkum drongo he is!
guest10: Desmond, calm down! It’s no good for your health raging at the boy like this!
guest10: I must admiut he is a disappointment, Des.
guest9: Gill, I ought to crack the boy’s empty skull!
guest10: Last time you tried that, Luke cried, “Nay, Dad! Nay!” and ran for his life!
guest9: It’s a fair-dinkum pity that he’s so bloody clueless … and selfish. Begging on the Internet for work! A bloody abo has more dignity … and an Abo will eat grubs! Fair-dinkum GRUBS, I tell yu!
guest10: Shameful.
guest9: What do you have to say for yourself, boy?
guest9: Speak up!
guest9: Bloody ponce!
guest10: Our son doesn’t want to talk to us, Desmond!
guest9: Our son should be ashamed!
guest9: Look at our boy Paul. Now THERE’S a lad!
guest9: What’s THIS one ever done?
guest9: “I’m blogging, Dad!”
guest10: No shame can equal that which I feel when I see my son with that awful beard, play-acting at religion.
guest9: What a fair-dinkum waste of time.
guest10: Des, maybe you ought to crack him over the head. Or at least stuff a burst cane toad in his gob. Stealing Cocoa Krispies from the homeless and not earning his Weet-Bix like a real man!
guest9: Don’t get me started on that loathesome aspect of the boy, Gill. “Look at my long beard, world! Look how ‘religious’ I am.” Bloody attention-seeking moron.
guest9: “Oh, nobody will hire me because of my dirty-looking beard. What ever will I do?” Shave and stop the pitiful masquerade, boy.
guest9: Gill, I’ve had it with this dreadful excuse of human being our son has made of himself. Put on the Easybeats record, brew a pot of tea and bring in that plate of ANZAC biscuits! We’ll try to forget the shame he’s caused us.
YourMoralLeader: May I borrow some money?
YourMoralLeader: Could you help me get a job?
guest10: I’ll bring the johnny rivers sides, too, desmond!
guest10: You’ve done enough leeching off the family, Luk!
guest9: How about I lend you my balled-up fist … right in that simpering face pf yours, Sunny Jim?
YourMoralLeader: I’m standing straight and tall using Alexander Technique!
guest10: “nay, Dad….nay! Nay! Please!”
guest9: Maybe I’ll just slit your throat and leave you for the magpies.
guest9: Some dark night, don’t think it won’t happen. You’ve a lot to pay for, lad.
guest9: Gill, the lad is a fair-dinkum worthless cob.
guest10: I’m having hot flashes, Desomnd!
guest9: The world will be better off when beat him beyond recognition. What’s funny is that the lad thinks I’m joking about this. I’m the dark cloud on your horizon, boy!
guest9: Gill, let’s enjoy some tea and leave the lad to his own misearble devices. He’s sickening to me.
guest10: He’s not worth it, Desmond! You’ll only end up in the calaboose.
guest10: We’ll call on Paul and his Oriental wife later, that will make you feel better.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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