I’m listening to a KPFK interview with relationship expert Alison Armstrong. She says we all have relationship models and automatically assume that everyone has our model.
One model is legacy. You’re all about having children and providing for them so that they can have more than you do.
Another model is companionship. Let’s do life together! You want to have adventures together. You have lots of common interests.
Another model is support. You support his crusade for the environment and he supports your passion for animal rights, etc.
There’s the karma model. You want to grow together. You want to heal your wounded inner child together. You want someone to push your buttons and help you grow.
It helps when you’re having a relationship if you are both on the same page. If you are primarily looking for companionship and he’s primarily looking to leave a legacy, you’ll have problems.